Have you ever felt like others have life figured out while you are still struggling? You feel like some sort of instruction manual must have been passed out at adulthood and you missed that line. Or maybe you just generally feel behind in life. You feel you should be further along. You look at your peers and feel like they are succeeding and progressing in life while you feel stuck. I’m here to tell you that this is more common than you think. Feeling off track or experiencing failure in life is not the exception. So many people feel this way. We often just don’t see the behind the scenes work it took someone to get to where they are today. And what if these failures and side tracks are not detours from your path, but rather the path itself?

Y’all, lately I have felt stuck. Just waiting in a holding pattern to execute our move. (We will be moving from Austin, Texas to the Pacific Northwest next spring!) But I am trying to reframe this time of life as part of my path that I need to be on. I fully recognize that the struggles, setbacks, and “wasted” seasons are often building something in us that we will need later. As I look back over my life and evaluate the hardships and failures I have endured, I also see the strength of character that was built in me through those experiences. Since I am currently kind of obsessed with gym life, I will use the analogy of growing muscle. In order to build muscle, it must be broken down first. As you lift weights it stresses those muscles fibers and actually breaks them down so they can get stronger and grow. And being all in on gym life, I can tell you that this is a very slow process! It does not happen overnight and it may take years to get to where you want. I also want to share a Bible verse that has encouraged me when it comes to trials in life. It is in James 1, verses 2-4 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” This reminds me to reframe the trials of this life as something that is producing perseverance which ultimately will help me to grow.

I think one of the biggest reasons we question where we are in life when we feel behind or have experienced failure is because we compare ourselves to the journey others are on. I think this has become much more prevalent with the origin of social media and how pervasive it has become in our lives. Often we are comparing our behind the scenes to someone’s highlight reel. In addition to that, I truly believe that we are all on our own unique journey. Everyone’s timeline, lessons, and path are different. Someone else being “ahead” in your eyes says nothing about your own pace and purpose. So trust the process! Instead of saying to yourself: “Why am I behind?” reframe this with “What is this preparing me for?” Replace your thought: “Why do they have it (whatever you want that you see someone else have)?” with “This is my own unique path, not theirs.” Another Bible verse that is encouraging with regards to this topic of comparison comes from Galatians 6:4-5, “Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load.” We really weren’t designed to be exposed to so many people’s lives, but because of social media we see all kinds of people’s lives, creating more opportunities for comparison. But if we take the advice of this Bible passage, we must focus on our own journey.

I know all of this is not easy. Particularly if you are currently in a difficult season of life. But what if the thing you are going through right now isn’t a set back, but instead a set up? Focus on what you are learning in this season, and think about what it might be setting you up for! Which could give you the hope for the future you need right now. Can you think of something specific that you could do today if you are in a season of feeling stuck or set back? Perhaps you could journal about what this season is teaching you, or you could let go of comparison by saying (maybe even out loud) when you are comparing yourself to someone: “I am on my own unique and beautiful path and it’s okay it’s not like theirs.” Or maybe even unfollow those who make you feel discouraged. Even in a season of stagnation or failure, we can look for the silver linings and enjoy each moment of our lives. All we have is the present! When we focus on the past we feel regret, when we focus on the future we feel anxious. Focus on what is right in front of you today and view each day as a blessing! Because no matter where you are in life, if you woke up and are breathing, that is a blessing!