MY 2025 YEAR END REVIEW

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Hey friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday I wanted to review my 2025 year with you. The end of the year is a great time to reflect and celebrate your successes, evaluate what you could do differently, and think about some habits you want to continue on into the new year. I always love using paper planners and this year my planner had a spot for keeping track of routines, values, and goals. So it was easy to evaluate how this year went for me. I loved this planner so much that I ended up purchasing the exact same planner for 2026.

One of the first pages in this planner is a spot to write out your values. There was also a list of common values you could circle to guide you for the year. In this section there was a “more” column and a “less” column. Under more I wrote: quietness, walking, reading, whole foods, and creativity. I was actually shocked at how effective it is to write down your values heading into a new year. I have been wanting to add the habit of reading into my routines for years and it wasn’t until this year that I was truly successful! At the end of the summer I added the routine of reading almost every evening, and that routine has continued! I also wanted to walk more this year and I started the habit of walking in the mornings this year. I have also generally been taking more walks throughout this year! I do feel like I could do a better job at quietness. As I mentioned last week, I am taking some time away from Instagram over the next couple of weeks to give myself more margin for quietness. I have been getting on every few days to answer DMs and I’m also working with a brand to create a Reel, but otherwise not scrolling or staying on for hours. 

The last two things were whole foods – which I decided to create a mostly ingredient pantry at the beginning of the year to achieve this. I would say I did okay in this regard. I definitely still purchase crackers and other packaged foods, but I do think creating the ingredient pantry has helped and moving into the new year I would like to continue to focus on this goal. Lastly was creativity, and I truly believe that doing the no buy year helped with making space for creativity. I did several home projects with DIYs and I also had to get creative at times to make what I had on hand work instead of purchasing something new.

In my “less” column I had sugar, social media, and shopping. I definitely was successful with less shopping! Doing the no buy year really curbed my shopping throughout the year. I feel like I could still work on the less sugar goal. I don’t eat a lot of refined sugar, but I do make desserts regularly for my family. I make them homemade and sweeten them with maple syrup or dates, but I want to cut back on eating desserts generally. And with social media I am off of Facebook and TikTok completely and even after just a few days off of Instagram I would like to implement strict rules for myself with regards to how long I can be on the app daily.

Another spot in the planner that was insightful to me is to look at was my top 5 goals for the year. Mine were: 1. Fix issues with the house, 2. Regular walking, 3. Continue daily Bible reading, 4. Continue workout routine, and 5. Read more! I would say I did an amazing job hitting these goals this year! I will say, we still have some issues we need to deal with regarding our home. I did get a new front door, which was on the list, but I still have a long list to get through which will have to roll over into next year. I would like to come up with a plan to get these things accomplished because it’s definitely something that I keep putting off! I really dislike research, which fixing home issues requires. Everything else on this list I feel very proud to say I achieved these goals! I look forward to filling out my plans for 2026 over the next week!

I would love to hear from you in the comments! Did you write down your goals for this year? Do you make resolutions? A vision board? A word for the year? How did you do on accomplishing your goals for this year? What goals or ideas do you have for the upcoming new year?

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.

MEDITATIVE PRACTICE

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Hey friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday I wanted to talk about something I was thinking about the other day while putting up our outdoor Christmas lights. I have been lining the path leading up to our house with lights for the last several years. It is a tedious process and I’m always trying to remember exactly how I installed them previously. I have these little light pick type holders, they are little stakes you put into the ground and then put each individual light bulb into individual stakes so that the lights are neatly lining the sidewalk. On the day I was doing this project I was not feeling great. I was dealing with some seasonal allergies, which made me a little irritable. I didn’t realize I had two different lengths of light strands and I thought I had installed the wrong ones because they didn’t reach all the way down the path, which irritated me even more! I later realized that the lights usually didn’t extend the full length of the pathway. But I had this thought while installing the lights – a lot of homemaking tasks and projects can be tedious, but they can also be quite meditative if we view it that way.

When we have a task that requires little thought and is a repetitive task, we can view this as an opportunity to have a meditative moment. As I was installing each little individual light, this repetitive motion afforded me the space to think through things that were on my mind. It gave me time to process some things I had been thinking about. I know when we perform these repetitive tasks it may be easy to want to entertain ourselves during that task. We may want to listen to music or a podcast, or watch a YouTube video. And there is nothing wrong with that! I certainly do that too. I just had this moment of clarity where I realized how meditative some tasks can be. I have been trying to mono-task more often lately. Doing one thing at a time – whether it’s cooking, cleaning, or putting up Christmas lights. This can help you to live more in the moment, and also leave more space for quietness and reflection.

Something that I have actually been thinking about all year is how inundated we are now with entertainment. Having a mini computer right in our pockets and going everywhere with us has made it really easy to access content and constant entertainment. I have noticed recently how easy it is to mindlessly open apps on my phone or mindlessly scroll Instagram. I go on to respond to comments or DMs and before I know it I’m just scrolling. I feel like it has become something that is an autopilot response. Any dead space we have – whether it’s sitting at a traffic light or waiting in line, our auto response can be to pick up our phones. I have been wanting to do a social media detox for a while now, but it’s just so complicated given that I post on social media for business purposes. I’m thinking about trying a 12 day detox leading up to Christmas day. And honestly, Instagram is the only social media app I struggle with. I do watch YouTube videos, but I feel like I am more intentional with YouTube. I got rid of Tik Tok and FaceBook a couple years ago. Social media is such a double edge sword because on the one hand it is a great way to connect, but it can also be a time suck. I have also wondered if I would spend more time with people in real life if I didn’t have this app to connect with people.

But back to the main topic I have been thinking about – meditative practices. I think once I filter out this extra input in my life, it will be easier to truly enjoy the meditative quality of some of my homemaking tasks. I will be less apt to find some way to entertain myself while cooking, cleaning, decorating, organizing, or decluttering and instead enjoy the process more and focus my mind on prayer, self reflection, or processing my most recent emotions. I do feel like this is such a challenge because of how prevalent media is in our lives. I don’t want to be a zombie and mindlessly open apps, and mindlessly scroll. I want to be intentional with what I do with my time and my brain space!

NO BUY YEAR NOVEMBER RECAP

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Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday I will be sharing my recap for the month of November for how my no buy year has been going. I usually share the last Thursday of the month, but since last week was Thanksgiving I did not share at all, so I decided I would share today. I will be sharing a wrap up on my overall thoughts on how the no buy year affected me, and what I plan to do moving into 2026 the first Thursday in January. But for today I will share how I did in November.

Y’all, these last few months have been a true struggle! Okay, let’s be real – half the year has been a struggle! One of my brothers got married in the month of November and they had a dress code – everyone was instructed to wear black. I thought it was a bit odd, but let me tell you it looked so classy! Even though I have in my rules that I can purchase items for events, I thought to myself – I have several black dresses to choose from, there is no reason I need to purchase another black dress. So, I found the outfit I wanted to wear to the wedding, but then I thought to myself – what jacket will I wear? They were getting married in Indiana in November, so I definitely needed a jacket. Living in Texas, I don’t have very many jackets and I didn’t have any jackets warm enough and nice enough to wear to a wedding. WELL, there is a jacket that I have honestly been wanting all year. It is a khaki colored trench coat. At the beginning of the year I was keeping track of the items I wanted to purchase but did not, and this trench coat was on the list. You can probably guess by now that I decided to purchase the coat since I did not purchase a dress. It is amazing how easy it becomes to justify spending! With all that said, I really do love this coat and it is versatile. I also wore it with jeans and I got a lot of compliments on it!

Me with my four sisters at our brother’s wedding!

BUT, this was not my only slip up in the month of November. UGH! Ya’ll, it truly pains me to confess this… but you know what, I am keeping it real here. My birthday was the day before Thanksgiving and of course many stores already had black Friday sales going on. There is a pair of boots that I have actually been wanting for years, but the exact ones I wanted are the Frye brand and way too expensive for what I would usually spend on a pair of shoes – even the used ones I found on Poshmark were too expensive, BUT one of my favorite stores had a similar boot ON SALE! Not only was it cheaper to begin with, but also on sale! AND it got me! There is still a chance I will return them as I need to try them on with a few outfits to see if I really love them. They just came in the mail yesterday.

I feel so frustrated with myself that I have really failed almost every month since June! I know a year is a really long time to do a no buy, and I know I wasn’t going out and buying tons, just a piece here and there, but my perfectionist personality is irritated with my failure! I keep thinking about why this is such a pull for me? I want to be content with what I already have, and I have plenty! It makes me wonder about a deeper root issue in my heart. Spoiler for what I will share in my final recap: I will not go back to buying whatever in 2026. I might not do a full on buy nothing year again, but I do still need to deal with my heart and why I have a desire to purchase or have new things.

As I evaluate my heart, I realize a lot of why I like new clothing in particular is because it is a creative outlet for me. I love fashion, and putting together outfits and I really have my whole life. When I was younger, I grew up with four sisters and my parents were both teachers, so we didn’t have a lot of disposable income for me to get what I wanted. Not that I spend frivolously as an adult, but we are comfortable financially, making it easier to spend. If I look at it from a more sinister perspective, I think in my heart I may not be content with what I have, which in my opinion needs to be dealt with. I will talk more about all of this in my next recap which will happen the first week in January! But for now, that is all I have to share for the month of November!

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post!

IMPLEMENTING SOFT DISCIPLINE

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In a recent Instagram post I shared a quote that said, “growth only happens outside of your comfort zone.” I am someone who likes structure and routines. I realize that at times having rigid routines can stifle my ability to get out of my comfort zone. Finding ways to stick with my healthy habits while also leaving room for flexibility made me think about living with soft discipline. I think this idea of soft discipline also lends itself to living a more intentional lifestyle – honoring those moments when we need a slower pace because of how we are feeling physically or because of the seasons, or when we should lean into a time when we have higher energy. When we create rigid routines for ourselves, this doesn’t leave room for this energy shift.

So, what is soft discipline? It is having structure in life, but with compassion instead of rigidity. Contrary to traditional discipline, which can seem to focus on self-punishment and an all or nothing mindset, soft discipline is daily doing what matters with self tenderness. It focuses more on our spiritual intuition and is rooted in intentional living. Instead of being harsh or demanding with yourself to “stay on track,” soft discipline allows you to pay attention to your energy, what season you are in, and your inner guidance.

I think oftentimes we struggle with sustaining self-discipline because we are not compassionate with ourselves when it comes to our goals. Especially in western cultures, there is a high value on productivity which can lead to perfectionism and burnout. The nature of discipline leads us to battle with ourselves as though we have an inner drill sergeant calling out what we must do. But unfortunately sometimes this inner voice can create a mindset of shame and self-criticism, which leads to a lack of motivation or shut down instead of motivating us to follow through.

The core principles for executing soft discipline is having a gentle structure, focusing on micro movements, having compassionate accountability, allowing for energy-led planning, and celebrating progress over perfection. 

First, soft discipline includes creating a flexible framework for your day instead of a rigid schedule. Having routines is good, but it is also good to give yourself grace within those routines. Focusing on rituals over routines can help to change your mindset towards a more compassionate routine. For instance, if you view your morning walk as a ritual – where you get to pay attention to your five senses, you get to clear your head, you get to move your body – this will make it feel more like a ritual you don’t want to miss rather than a task you must do to check off your to do list. Lastly, it can help to create anchor points in your day – having morning rituals, midday breaks, and evening resets.

Next, soft discipline includes focusing on micro movements. These would be actions that have the potential to build on other actions. Sometimes when we start small it gives us the momentum we need. Allow yourself to just do 5 minutes for a task. This will often lead to the energy and momentum you need to keep going. Focus on the momentum and not the mastery or completion of a task. Soft discipline also includes compassionate accountability. Talk to yourself as you would talk to a friend. Replace punishment with curiosity and ask yourself: “What do I need right now?” instead of “Why can’t I get this done?”

Another principle of soft discipline is to allow for energy-led planning. I have to admit that I am so bad at this. I spent many years not honoring what my body was capable of doing and would over-commit and just push through. I am getting better at this, but it does not come easy to me. I am more of a pull up my boot straps and get it done type person. We must learn to pay attention to our intuition and our inner rhythms. We all have days where we don’t feel as energetic, and days where we have lots of energy. Honor your energy levels, slow down when you need to, and lean into productivity on days where you have lots of energy. If possible, align your tasks with your energy levels.

Lastly, soft discipline focuses on celebrating progress over perfection. So often we want to see big changes or big progress – especially when we are focusing on a specific goal. But it can be so helpful to start small, and celebrate along the way. When we celebrate our follow-through, even if it was not perfect, it can help to build our self-trust giving us that feeling of pride in our accomplishments.

Creating a life around soft discipline feels more peaceful, intentional, and sustainable. You begin to follow through more often because you are aligning to your energy and giving yourself grace. Soft discipline gives you the mindset of choosing yourself, kindly and gently, over and over again with each choice you make instead of the mindset of the drill sergeant just checking things off your to-do list. This doesn’t mean soft discipline is easy, all discipline is work, so we must have that expectation. But living with a more compassionate approach to discipline will reframe your outlook to viewing discipline as devotion to yourself – to your future self, your peace, and your purpose in life!

This is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.

NORMALIZE A NORMAL LIFE

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For today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I want to talk about an idea I recently heard about from another YouTube creator, normalizing a normal life. I follow her channel because she does a lot of reaction videos to overconsumption, especially amongst influencers. As many of you know, I am doing a no buy year in 2025 as a way to challenge myself to prevent overconsumption in my own life. I think when we are constantly exposed to content online where people are showing shopping hauls or restocks (often with unnecessary stuff, or stuff you could not possibly use before the expiration date), we begin to think overconsumption is just normal. We also are exposed to people who seem to lead out of touch lives. I get that some of these videos are purposefully overproduced, but it really can get in your head none the less!

In addition to my no buy year, I have been pursuing minimalism for over a decade now, slowly but surely decluttering our home. And more recently I do feel like I have gotten pretty ruthless with decluttering in the pursuit of a more simple life. In today’s message I just wanted to encourage you that it is okay to lead a simple life. It’s okay to have a normal life. I truly believe that there is beauty in the mundane if we allow it or see it.

Part of the reason I wanted to discuss this topic now is because as we come up on the holidays, we may feel more inadequate than any other time in the year. We may feel like we aren’t doing enough family activities, or we don’t have enough holiday decor, or the right decor. I’m here to remind you that you don’t need to go out and buy all new holiday decor with the theme of the latest trend (cough cough Ralph Lauren Christmas cough cough). I do love to share my holiday clean and decorate with me videos on YouTube to inspire people, but I never do it with the intent that they would go out and buy the same things I have. I just want to get people excited about the upcoming holiday season! And most of my stuff I couldn’t link if I wanted to because I have had it for many years, or it is a vintage or thrift find! The holiday decor you have is good enough! One thing I like to do is style my existing decor differently every year so it feels fresh and new!

I have always tried to be authentic on my YouTube channel, and share as candidly as I can here on my blog. Yes, I do like to edit and present it in such a way that hopefully is artistic and interesting, but I am sharing my real (and normal) life! I do wish normal lives were more popular on social media. It does seem like the easiest way to become successful online is to have a non-normal life. Maybe a normal life is not interesting or exciting, but I’m okay with that. I will continue to pursue a simple, quiet life. I think a majority of people in the world lead a normal life, so I am just here to remind you that it is okay if your life feels normal or ordinary. Don’t let what you see on social media steal the joy of your beautiful, normal life! Embrace it and appreciate it!

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.

BEING PATIENT

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For today’s Thoughtful Thursday I wanted to talk about being patient with people. Being patient with people in general, but also being patient with our spouse, children, or any other housemates when it comes to decluttering. My husband recently helped me go through and declutter items in our garage as some of the things belong to him. I have been wanting to do this decluttering project for quite a while, so I have had to be patient with my husband as I waited for him to have the time and bandwidth to do it. I have to say, I have not always been a very patient person. I am someone who likes results, so I struggle to be patient with the process. I am learning though that there is so much growth and goodness that can happen in the process and in the waiting. 

When it comes to decluttering, I really think we all have our own pace. Whether that is because we don’t have much time to devote to it regularly, or because we are the type who needs to really think through and sit on decisions for a while. I know my husband doesn’t have a lot of time or bandwidth to devote to decluttering because of how demanding his job is, so I have been patient with him with regards to going through his things. I can’t even tell you how many times I have cleaned out our garage for my YouTube channel and mentioned “I will need my husband’s help to declutter more in here.” The only reason I am really starting to push him is because we are talking about downsizing, and I don’t want him to have to go through all of his things in a short period of time. I do feel like it is much more manageable to declutter a little at a time. In the end, this really didn’t take that long. We spent about 30 minutes on two separate weekends to get this done.

It’s not always easy to be patient with our loved ones as they have their own decluttering journey. As I have mentioned so many times before, decluttering muscles are built through practice. Just like we can’t force our loved ones to go to the gym and workout, or do anything for that matter, we can’t force them to declutter. They have to want to do it for themselves. I have found that just by being an example, and my family experiencing the spaces in our home that are more minimal, it has inspired them to start decluttering. We must let it be on their own time.

I find it important to be patient with others with regards to decluttering, but I also find it important to be patient with others in general. This is also something that is not easy. Oftentimes we have our own timeline and we want others to conform to our timeline, but that is just not how it goes. One thing that helps me to be patient with others, especially those closest to me like my husband and kids, is to remember how slow paced I myself can be with making changes in my life. I want others to be patient with me as I grow, learn, and change, so I will offer that same patience. 

I remember when I was younger in my marriage how impatient I would be with my husband (and then later my kids) when we were trying to get out the door. I was raised in such a way that you arrive 5 minutes early or you’re late. My husband is someone who takes his time doing anything. Which is actually a good characteristic. It usually means things are done well and thoroughly, but it can mean he isn’t on time. He has learned this about himself and now knows to shoot for being ready 15 minutes before we actually need to leave. But I used to get so irritated about it. Even if I didn’t express my irritation to him (I am sure I did at times, at least in heavy sighs and eye rolls) I had this bad attitude about it in my heart. At some point I realized that we could be late with my having a bad attitude, or we could be late with me having a good attitude – realizing it is better to protect our relationship and my heart attitude than to be on time somewhere. And, he eventually realized that he had to give himself more time than he thought to get ready. But I share this because my heart changed before his behavior changed, and that was for me how I wanted to show up in the world. I had to learn to be patient.

Being patient with others means recognizing that they are on their own life journey towards growth and change, or perhaps stuck in a cycle of stagnation. But either way, we are not in control of others and their choices. We are only in control of the choices we make. If we keep focusing on doing the right things for ourselves, I think this will inspire those around us. I am sure you have heard that kids do what you do not what you say. I think anyone within our sphere of influence will be affected by our behavior. Hopefully we can be a positive influence to motivate and inspire. But we must be patient as they maneuver through life and make their own decisions.

NO BUY YEAR SEPTEMBER + OCTOBER RECAP

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Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to share how my no buy year has been going. This is actually a recap of September and October since I didn’t share the last Thursday in September. I will say right up front that I have continued to struggle. I briefly mentioned at the end of September that I had another slip up in September and purchased a couple of fall tops. And then in October I purchased a hat. I’m not sure if this is considered clothing or accessories, but I kind of feel like it is! The last few months have been so much more difficult than the first part of the year for sure. Maybe I am losing momentum!

I did want to be fully transparent and tell you I also purchased some clothing items for a costume I wore to a friend’s birthday party in September. I decided halfway through the year that if I needed to purchase clothing for a specific event that I would give myself a pass, but there was part of me that felt bad because I did purchase items for the costume that I would use in the future for more than just the costume. Which makes sense from a minimalist standpoint – for the items to have multiple uses – but it still made me feel like I was cheating or finding a loophole as an excuse to shop.

All of this has me thinking about the future and what I might do moving into 2026. I feel like I still haven’t fully broken my shopping habit, or my mindset around shopping. I feel like I have just been “white-knuckling” it these last couple of months, but I want a true heart change. I don’t just want behavior modification. That is part of why I did this whole no buy year. I thought about doing something crazy and doing ANOTHER no buy year in 2026, but truthfully I just don’t think this is realistic for me. I have been thinking about rules I could set up for myself moving forward. I realized that for the last several months I have purchased one or two things each month. This was still difficult compared to past shopping habits, so I am thinking that I will limit myself to two items per month. Let me know your thoughts or ideas.

Something else I wanted to address is the clothing and accessory items I got sent to me from brands for my YouTube channel. I do really appreciate this and I have been enjoying the items that these brands have sent me, but I realized when choosing which items I want, and receiving the package in the mail was so similar to how I feel when I purchase new things. I’m not saying I will turn down free items in the future, but once again I am just evaluating my heart on how I feel about new things, and I want to be as candid as possible as I feel like this holds me accountable.

Something else I have been thinking about over these last couple of months is the buy/declutter cycle. I know I have shared my thoughts about this in a previous post. It is just something that I am contemplating again. I do think that it is a fine line, and perhaps dangerous line, when we begin to declutter items from our homes. Especially when we get to the point where we are trying to pursue minimalism and getting rid of large quantities of stuff. This could potentially cause us to shop to replace some of the things we have decluttered. It is definitely something to keep in check when we begin a decluttering journey.

I know for myself, a lot of the things I declutter is simply a result of being married for 29 years, raising three kids, and two dogs over the years. I have decluttered items that no longer serve us in this life stage. Although I know some of it is from over consumption, and by this I just mean I have too many things in certain categories for my own personal liking and what I want to have on hand or what I have bandwidth to take care of. I have been honest about my struggles in the past with using shopping for the wrong reasons, and that is exactly why I am doing this no buy year!

The other category of things I declutter quite often is items that I am replacing. I do try to be intentional with when and why I replace items from around our home, but once again I would like to keep myself in check and evaluate if I am just making excuses to shop. I like pondering these things and having these conversations online to help challenge myself to more responsible spending habits!

Okay, that is all I have to share for this week’s thoughts and for this month’s no buy year recap. I hope this was encouraging or inspired you in some way! As always, I like to hear your thoughts on my thoughts so leave me a comment and let me know! 

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.

TRUSTING GOD WHEN IT’S HARD

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Okay friends, for this week’s Thoughtful Thursday post (which is going up on Friday this week!) I wanted to talk about trusting God when it’s hard. Or trusting God when our circumstances don’t make sense or are difficult. The first thing I am going to say about this is that it is not easy. I don’t have three neat steps to trust God when it’s hard. I think what makes trusting difficult usually has to do with timing. We think God should do something to change our circumstances on our timeline and so we feel discouraged.

From my experience, I have seen how God has used the in between, the waiting, to help me to grow. I needed the circumstances, which seemed so difficult or painful at the time, to help me to grow as a person. To help me to gain more self awareness, to help me grow in patience, to help me grow in perseverance. All of this is not easy. As humans, we naturally want things to be comfortable. We want things to go our way and in our time. But I think if all of that were true we would not grow and evolve. There is a quote I once heard by Robin Sharma, “Rough seas make stronger sailors. Tough times build greater people.”

I think it is important when we are in a period of waiting for God to answer our prayers or waiting for God to intervene in our difficult circumstances to shift our perspective. It is easy to feel sorry for ourselves and focus on how our circumstances aren’t fair. But what if instead of focusing on the negative, we asked ourselves “what lesson is there for me to learn in this difficult season.” I can almost guarantee you that when waters are rough, the sailor is learning a lot about sailing!

One perspective that I like to remind myself of when I am in a difficult season in life is that I cannot see the big picture. I am in one season of life, which may be short, relatively speaking compared to the rest of my life. God sees that big picture and knows what we need in each season of life. The difficulties today may be preparing us for our future. I recognize that this idea doesn’t resonate with everyone, but even if you don’t believe in God, there is a big picture happening and you are in one part of your timeline and can’t see the big picture.

I can assure you, because I have lived enough life, that the hard seasons we go through are not in vain. From my experience, it has been in those difficult seasons that I have grown, not just in general as a person but also in my faith! When I look back, I see what God was doing in those times when I felt impatient and frustrated with life. Because of this experience, it is easier for me to keep that positive attitude and keep trusting that God has a plan for my life. There are two comforting Bible verses when it comes to this topic. The first is Jeremiah 29:11, which says “‘For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope for the future.’” The second verse is Romans 8:28 which says, “All things work together for good for those who love God, who are called according to his purpose.”

I do want to say, I by no means want to minimize any difficult life circumstances you might be going through right now. I have chosen not to share publicly some of the things I have gone through in my life, but believe me I have gone through some pretty tough things. If you are going through a difficult time right now and need prayer, you can let me know down in the comments and I will pray for you. If you don’t feel comfortable sharing publicly, you can just ask for general prayer, or message me over on Instagram. I will pray for you!

This is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.

FIX YOUR EYES ON THE RIGHT THING

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Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday I wanted to talk about a quote I shared over on Instagram earlier this week. The quote says, “sometimes one landmark helps us find our way when we are lost. Even though our location hasn’t changed, things become clear when we fix our eyes on the right thing.” How many of you out there are landmark direction givers? Don’t tell me to turn east here, and then south there! Tell me to turn right by the gas station and left by the Starbucks! It’s so much easier to find your way or remember a route by landmarks.

When we feel lost in life, it is easy to feel overwhelmed. Feeling lost is something I think everyone has felt at some point in life. It can happen after a setback, after a big life change, or even in the middle of success. The things that once gave us a sense of purpose and direction may start to fade, and we are left asking ourselves, what now? When we feel this way, the instinct may be to search frantically for clarity. Just like when you are physically lost you may feel frantic to find something, anything, to grab onto that will guide you back. But the truth is, what if when you feel lost the challenge isn’t to immediately find answers, but instead to just focus on the right things and the answers will emerge organically.

When confusion takes over, we often begin to obsess over what’s missing, what went wrong, or what others seem to have figured out that we don’t. But when we focus on the things that are outside of our control, this only makes us feel more disoriented. The first step to finding your way again is to shift your focus inward – to what you can control. That includes your mindset, your effort, and your willingness to keep moving forward even when the path ahead of you isn’t completely clear.

As a Christian, I find that seeking God through reading the Bible and prayer can help to ground me. Spending time daily with God is non-negotiable for me. The Bible is like a compass for me, and I know if I follow what God instructs in His word then I am on the right track. As I seek God, I find over and over again that the “right thing” really is quite simple: it’s to do the next right thing. Often when we feel lost it is because we are focusing too much on the whole journey or the big picture. Doing the next right thing can really keep you grounded. It could just be the seemingly insignificant daily healthy habits that we can lean into during a time of uncertainty. Like taking care of your body – exercising, eating healthy, and getting good sleep, connecting with friends and loved ones, or returning to or picking up a hobby that could bring joy to your life. These may seem simple or mundane, but these daily habits can provide momentum and lead to some clarity in the long run.

 Perhaps you are not a Christian and the idea of the Bible or prayer doesn’t resonate with you. But even if you don’t have that as a compass, you do have the things you value in life and priorities, which can help serve as a map towards clarity. When you’re lost, it can be easy to confuse direction with identity, but they aren’t the same. You can lose your way without losing yourself. Reflecting on what truly matters can keep you on the course towards clarity – like kindness, honesty, curiosity, compassion, love, or any other thing that you value. When you are living out those values it can keep that momentum going.

In a culture that glorifies constant productivity and certainty in purpose, it can be easy to feel like being lost is a failure. But more likely being lost it is an invitation in life to slow down and listen. Sometimes the right focus is not doing more, but instead being more present. The fog will begin to lift, maybe slowly, maybe VERY slowly, but not because you force it, but because you stop chasing every distraction and learn to trust that clarity will come when you are ready for it!

FORGIVENESS IS FOR YOU, NOT THEM

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For today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to share on the topic of forgiveness. I am fairly certain I have talked about forgiveness in a previous Thoughtful Thursday post, but today I wanted to focus on the idea of forgiveness for your own sake more so than the sake of the person you are forgiving.

Unfortunately forgiveness is a part of everyday life as a human. Like I shared last week, because we are human, we are imperfect. We will make mistakes, we will say hurtful things, we will do things that hurt others – sometimes unintentional and sometimes intentional. Because of this, forgiveness is necessary in a healthy relationship. If we just abandoned relationships when we were hurt, we would not have very many long lasting relationships.

When we are wronged, it can be easy to sit in our hurt and to hold a grudge against that person. It is okay and natural to feel hurt. We must allow ourselves to feel the hurt, but we must choose to move forward and not wallow in the pain. Have you ever heard the saying, “unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” When we don’t forgive someone, we keep ruminating on the wrong done to us which only hurts US, not THEM! Forgiveness IS primarily for our own mental health! When we forgive someone, it frees us from those ruminating thoughts about the incident. 

Something else I often think of when someone has wronged me is how I have done my own fair share of hurting others. Like I mentioned, this is human nature. We are not perfect and have moments of weakness where our anger or pride gets the best of us, or moments of stupidity where we hurt others without intention. I think about how I would like those people who I have hurt to extend grace to me, so I want to extend that same grace to others.

Offering and receiving forgiveness can truly foster deeper connections with those we love. When we go through the tough work of honesty and openness with one another about our hurts and can work through it with emotional maturity, it can really help those relationships grow deeper and flourish. Believe me, I have been on both sides of this equation being married for 29 years and also having some long term friendships. When we can be vulnerable with one another to share our hurts, it definitely causes the relationship to grow stronger. When we sulk, hold grudges, maybe talk to others about our woes instead of going directly to the person who hurt us, it only creates a wall in the relationship which can keep growing brick by brick over time. If this pattern continues where you don’t address hurts in a relationship, it will eventually become toxic. We are meant to be open and vulnerable with one another so we can work through our hurts.

Speaking of toxic, I will say that sometimes there are people or relationships that are toxic and it is very difficult to reconcile with this type of person. If this is the case, then still forgive them for your own mental health. You can forgive someone who has hurt you, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you have to continue on in the relationship. Some people have a pattern of hurting others, and it is okay to decide you have had enough. Only you know when you have had enough. Some relationships are worth continuing to fight for, while others it is obvious that things won’t change. When you forgive them anyway, believe me this is a peace that is deep! When you forgive them, you have done your part, even if the other person isn’t willing or emotionally mature enough to work through things with you!

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.