If you don’t follow me on Instagram you might not know that I just returned from a trip to Vegas! I met up with a couple of my YouTube girlfriends, Tiffany and Jessica. We had such an amazing time! It is always so fun to hang out with them! I had actually never been to Vegas, so it was interesting getting to experience a new city! Vegas is not a city I would necessarily choose on my own to go to, but it was fun to experience it at least once. Maybe this is obvious to most people, but actually being there – immersed in everything that goes on in Vegas – I realized that it is a place that caters to every sort of bad habit or addiction you can think of! There of course is gambling, but there is alcohol, drugs, food, shopping, lust or sex, and entertainment generally. I hope this doesn’t sound judgmental, because I have no judgement. Most people have some vice or vices we turn to for comfort, and for most people Vegas is just a weekend of debauchery and fun! But there are people who truly struggle with any one of these addictions. I know that some of it is brain chemistry as some people are wired to struggle more with addictive behavior. But for many, we turn to different “comforts” in order to escape the problems of life. 

One thing I have learned in my life is that when you are struggling with a bad habit, it’s really not enough to just remove it from your daily life. I think the key is to REPLACE the bad habit with a good habit. Find something that you are interested in, a hobby or getting involved in some sort of organization/volunteering. This will redirect your time towards the positive. But I do want to preface this whole conversation by saying, if you are truly struggling with an addiction, the best thing to do is get help – see a therapist or counselor, or get involved in a recovery group. Also, for some of these deeper conversations I do like to remind you that I am not any sort of professional or expert on this topic. I am only sharing what I have learned from my own research on this topic. I find that the goal in life is to create a healthy life that you don’t want to escape from. Recovery isn’t just about changing behavior, but also about building a new life. This makes it easier to stay sober.

Why is it important to create a life you don’t want to escape? I think the most important reason is so that you feel good about the way you spend your time and are proud of the life you are leading. Often when we are struggling with a bad habit or addiction, we feel bad about ourselves. We recognize deep down that we are not living our best lives. We may go through cycles of eliminating the bad behavior for a while, but we always circle back to it. Oftentimes, we keep turning to these coping mechanisms because it is so difficult to self evaluate. But once you realize that you are using that addiction to escape becoming more self aware, you begin to realize that it is a toxic pattern that you want to get out of. Once you start doing the hard work of self-evaluation, reflection, and devising a plan for change, you realize how much more fulfilling life can be!

There are several tools for resilience when it comes to these bad habits. As I previously mentioned, replacing these bad habits with good habits is one technique that can be effective. You can definitely get “addicted to” healthy or positive habits. Another thing you can do in the moment when you are tempted to follow through on your bad habit, is to stop and visualize the consequences of giving in. Think about it from the first 5 minutes of pleasure all the way through the hours after and the regret and potential fallout that will follow. Sometimes doing this will give you the motivation you need to say no. Another technique is being aware of your “HALT”signals. HALT stands for hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. If you are more self-aware of what state you are in and take care of your basic needs, you are less likely to follow through on these bad habits. Lastly, you can use positive self-talk and mindfulness to remind yourself that a craving is like a wave that will eventually peak and subside, rather than a permanent feeling that must be acted upon. When you think about this truth, it can help keep you more grounded and give you the wherewithal to say no.

Something else I wanted to talk about is the idea that the opposite of addiction is connection. Feeling isolated can contribute to giving into our bad habits. When we have a social network with people who we can talk through issues and problems with and who can hold us accountable, it is easier to make better choices. Obviously, recovery groups are great for people who are really struggling, but just having some friends, even just one friend who you can confide in can really help! Oftentimes addictions are fueled by secrecy. If we have friends who we can be radically honest with, this can help to keep us on the right path.

Lastly, as I often say in these Thoughtful Thursday videos, success is more likely to happen when we have a progress over perfection mindset. We are human so we are going to fail at times. Shifting the focus away from “all-or-nothing” thinking, and recognizing that a single slip up doesn’t mean failure, it is just a data point to learn from!