Okay friends, this week’s Thoughtful Thursday will be brief because I always share the content of these posts over on my YouTube channel in conjunction with sharing some sort of homemaking motivation and this week I did a lot of chatting in this video! I was decluttering and cleaning out my closet, so if you want to check that out I always have my YouTube videos linked at the bottom of each Thoughtful Thursday post. Perhaps this will make up for the extremely long one I shared last week! For this week’s topic I wanted to talk about a quote I shared over on Instagram earlier this week. It is a quote from Buddha and it says, “Don’t blame people for disappointing you. Blame yourself for expecting too much from them.”
I thought it was appropriate to discuss this idea to share while I’m cleaning out my closet because for a long time I really struggled with placing expectations on my husband. There were a lot of expectations I had, but today I will talk about this expectation that he would have the same desire for a clutter free environment and therefore put forth effort to declutter. I personally decided to stop having this expectation of him. I can lead by example, and I can do things to make decluttering more manageable for him, but I understand that he doesn’t really want to spend his free time decluttering.
We need to allow people to set boundaries and what they are capable or willing to do, recognizing that they will not always do things the way we want them to or the way we would do them. I like quoting Mel Robbins who brings up this idea often on social media and her podcast: she says “Let them.” We are not in control of other people and how they live their lives so we need to just let them. Let them live their lives the way they want to or need to live their lives. With most people, perhaps not with our spouse, we only see a small portion of their lives. We don’t know what they are going through. We don’t know what their social or emotional bandwidth is. We don’t know how much margin they have in their lives. So, to have expectations of people is really just not fair. We must have a perspective shift and take accountability for our REACTION to someone disappointing us.
On the other hand, it is okay for YOU to set your own boundaries as well. You are allowed to live your life the way you want to. Setting boundaries is not unkind. We are only responsible for our own choices and if we are intentional with our time and boundaries we will be able to sleep well at night even if others don’t agree with or understand our choices. Like I mentioned, no one knows what you go through on a daily basis, or what your bandwidth is. Only you know and get to choose how to spend your time based on your bandwidth.
The key here is perspective. We can lead happy and peaceful lives if we keep perspective. We have a choice on how to react or respond to the behavior of others. If someone disappoints you I think it is perfectly fine and healthy to have a conversation with that person. It’s okay to let someone know, especially if they are close to you, that they have disappointed you. But the key is to have an open mind with their response, allowing them to have boundaries. This isn’t a simple thing to do, but I have found I am much happier and at peace when I hold my expectations loosely.
The YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this post.
For those of you who don’t know, this year I have been taking a lot of trips. I wanted to focus on travel this year in part because there were events happening that required me to travel, so I just decided it would be my year of travel, and it felt appropriate because I’m turning 50 next month! With all this travel I have been thinking about baggage. Literal baggage, but the analogies of emotional baggage. So that is what I wanted to talk about for today’s Thoughtful Thursday.
Okay, perhaps I’m digging a little too deep to connect this analogy, but stick with me. This last trip I took I had to wait at the airport for quite a while before my flight left because my sister had to drop me off earlier than I expected when I ordered the tickets. And truly it was fine because I had a lot to catch up on from being away. But as I sat at the airport with my baggage under foot I was thinking about how difficult it was to do anything. If I wanted to go get coffee, I had to take it with me. If I needed to use the restroom, it came with me. I started thinking about how it was parallel to our emotional baggage in how it slows us down.
Physical baggage is tangible and measurable. Our bags are heavy or light depending on how much and what we pack. Emotional baggage is similar but it is all of our unresolved feelings, past traumas, regrets, and grudges we carry. Just as a heavy piece of luggage can cause back pain and fatigue, emotional baggage can lead to emotional pain and mental fatigue or if prolonged, lead to anxiety or depression. I didn’t do a great job packing my bags because I knew I would have plenty of time in the airport to do that. As I sat there unpacking and repacking everything more neatly I thought how often do I do this with my emotional baggage. I unpack everything – maybe with a friend or a therapist, or even just journaling. But do I ever decide there are things I need to let go of and no longer hold onto. Are there things that if I let go of them, my load would be lighter as I walked through life.
Are you an over-packer when you go on trips? I used to be an over-packer and wanted to account for everything and anything that could happen. But as the year went on and I went on more trips I started to learn what I really needed and my anxiety about not having what I MIGHT need started to calm down. I realized that it wasn’t worth carrying around ALL that extra stuff just in case. I got to the point where I preferred to take the risk of not having what I needed in order to have a lighter load. Are we holding onto things in life that are making our load too heavy? Both physical and emotional baggage can be an unnecessary burden we carry. When you are an over-packer you have unused items that become a physical burden, and when we hold onto emotional baggage we burden ourselves with these things that no longer serve a purpose. We can hold onto old grudges, past failures, or fears of rejection, which makes it difficult to experience life to the fullest in the present. Whether it’s physical or emotional baggage, letting go often involves unpacking everything, sorting through, deciding what is essential, and then letting go of the excess.
There is danger in ignoring the weight of our baggage both physical and emotional. When we carry a heavy bag for too long it can cause physical harm, and potentially long term damage if we don’t listen to our bodies. Similarly, when we carry emotional baggage for too long, the result can manifest in harmful ways such as anger, anxiety, or depression. This can affect our relationships, job performance, erode our self esteem, which can have long term effects on our lives. We must acknowledge and deal with the baggage because left unchecked it can end up controlling our lives, dictating how successful we are and our overall happiness in life.
The process of letting go, for both physical baggage or emotional baggage can transform any journey. Traveling light allows us to move freely, explore more easily, and feel less weighed down by possessions. In the same way, letting go of emotional baggage creates space for new experiences and personal growth. We can live more fully in the present and experience deeper connections with our loved ones. We can pursue goals more easily not being held back by our past.
Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.
Hey friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to talk about the value of intentional living. {{Scroll to the bottom to find the link to my YouTube video I’m sharing in conjunction with this post. I’m sharing some footage I took while driving to Portland with my son and then while we were in Portland.}} It can be so easy to fill our schedules to the brim. We live in a culture characterized by distractions, demands (both in our physical world and online), and fast paced living. I’m realizing the value of living intentionally to give me that space to really enjoy and savor each moment. There was a time in my life, when my kids were younger, that I felt like I was rushing through moments as I had my eyes on the horizon towards the next thing. Now I’m learning the value of consciously choosing how to spend my time, energy, and resources so that they are in alignment with my values, goals, and priorities. We don’t have to live on autopilot, living in a passive way and allowing the distractions and demands to dictate what we do. Instead as we focus on living intentionally we can cultivate a greater sense of fulfillment and purpose in life.
What does it mean to live with intention? When I looked up the definition on the Merriam-Webster website the definition that resonated with me was: a determination to act in a certain way; resolve. I like that idea of resolve. When we resolve to do something it’s not always the easy path or what we really want to do, but rather it’s what we choose to do. But a surprising definition entry was: a process or manner of healing of incised wounds. Wow. This really struck me. I thought about how when we are busy we have no time to process things. We have no space to heal emotionally or sometimes even physically. When we live with intention it leaves the margin we need to heal. When we leave this margin we are able to reflect on and evaluate what matters most to us so that we can align our daily choices with those values and priorities. We don’t have to follow social expectations or family pressure, but instead can decide what are those inner values and make choices that align with our long term well-being, goals, and happiness.
This doesn’t necessarily mean a meticulously planned out day, week, or life. It’s not about adhering to some rigid routines you put in place, instead it’s about being proactive on how you spend your time and not allow your choices to be influenced by external pressures and circumstances and instead by your own thoughtful choices that come from a place of your authentic self. Life is unpredictable, and things don’t always go our way. Challenges and setbacks are inevitable. Living with intention doesn’t mean we are exempt from difficulties in life, but actually helps us to be more equipped to deal with struggles as we can adapt, pivot, and continue to make choices that align with our values and priorities. Already having these values and priorities on the forefront of our minds can act as a compass as we navigate through challenging or unexpected circumstances. When we have not evaluated values, goals, and priorities, it can be all too easy to be reactive, giving into frustration and potentially reacting impulsively in stressful or unexpected circumstances in life.
Another key element to living intentionally is letting go of perfectionism. Perfectionism is not only not necessary, but it’s also not attainable. Living with this desire for perfection is also unhealthy. We weren’t created for perfection. Living with intention allows us to focus on progress over perfection. When we fall into the trap of believing there is some idealized version of life, it often leads to stress, anxiety, and burnout. By letting go of perfection, we can focus on making consistent choices that lead us towards our goals, values, and priorities, and embracing that we will not always do things flawlessly. This mindset allows us to embrace that life isn’t perfect, but instead those failures can foster resilience and encourage growth.
Mindfulness is another important aspect of living with intention. By practicing mindfulness we can become more attuned to our thoughts and emotions. This deeper awareness allows for self reflection which can help us stay on our intended path. Being mindful also encourages us to live in the present. We must be aware of the many distractions around us so we don’t get caught up in the busyness of life and miss the opportunities to engage with the present.
There are lots of things I have learned through focusing on living intentionally, but I will just share the top three things with you. The first thing I have learned in slowing down and living with more intention, is the value of being in nature. Time in nature is never wasted. For me being surrounded by God’s beauty refuels my soul and gives me energy! There is a John Muir quote that I really love. He said “Life I am so moved by nature. I have been known to cry while driving into the mountains, staring at a waterfall, or walking through the forest.
The other thing I have learned is to really value cultivating relationships that are supportive and meaningful. This involves being present with loved ones, offering my full attention (like putting my phone away when we are together), and spending quality time with one another. It’s not always easy to prioritize relationships. It takes intention to be authentic and vulnerable, creating space to develop intimacy with one another. It also includes setting healthy boundaries, and really evaluating who you spend your time with. There may be people who don’t contribute positively to your life. You may find you need to step away from these draining or even toxic relationships. By surrounding yourself with people who uplift and inspire you, you create an environment that supports your intentional path.
Lastly, living with intention is more likely to provide us with opportunities to do things outside of our comfort zone. By its nature, intentional living promotes growth, expansion, and change. When we stop living on autopilot and living in the rut of societal expectations, we can do things that in the past we have felt uncomfortable doing. The more I do things outside of my comfort zone, the more I realize that this is where life is truly lived! Helen Keller said, “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” And I couldn’t agree more! When we just run on the treadmill of life we aren’t really living!
Well friends, I hope this post about living intentionally encouraged you today. I always love hearing from you in the comments, so please share your thoughts on my thoughts. I also wanted to share an update on my son: he is doing amazing in Portland! He is loving his job and making new friends. I’m so incredibly proud of him and so glad I was able to be there for him in this big life transition! Click on the link below if you want to check out my video sharing the process of moving him!
Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to debrief with you about living as an ultra minimalist for 3 weeks. I traveled with my son to Portland, Oregon to move him there as he was going to be starting his first job out of college. There were several things that I learned during this challenge.
First, I did learn that I have too many clothes. I have known this, but I have been struggling to hit the sweet spot. Even though I feel like I have too many clothes, I don’t think I could live with a capsule wardrobe. I found myself worrying too much about what I was going to wear for fear I would wear something I needed for some other occasion before I was able to wash it. At home I don’t usually think much about choosing an outfit because I love everything in my closet and I have plenty of clothes to last me a week as I do laundry once a week. I definitely did not have enough workout clothes while on this trip. I only brought 4 workout outfits with me and I workout at least 5 times a week, so I ended up having to do laundry more often than when I am at home.
One thing I did learn about myself is that I definitely gravitate towards a more plain style. As you might be able to tell from the outfits I brought with me {{see photos below}}. I think focusing on weeding out the unique items from my wardrobe and sticking with simple will make it easier for me to pare down.
Something else I learned apart from the clothing living as an ultra minimalist is that I need far less than I own in general. While I was in Portland, I slept on my son’s sofa in his living room and did all my work either from the sofa or his kitchen table. I realized I truly don’t need an office and I am perfectly fine editing just on my laptop, I don’t really NEED the secondary monitor to edit. Is it nice to have? Yes, it is. But I don’t need it. You’re thinking, Joy, are you planning to declutter your office?? No! This is important as we think about our future and discuss downsizing. I think I could easily work just in a kitchen nook space and not need an entire office.
Another thing I learned while I was away was how nice it was to have such minimal things to take care of. When I got home I was a bit overwhelmed jumping back into taking care of a family of four and a 2600 square foot home. I know that I live with three adults, and they for the most part take care of themselves, but it was more so about how large our house is and how much stuff we own! It was so refreshing to have a smaller space to take care of while staying in my son’s 700 square foot apartment!
A side note that doesn’t necessarily have to do with minimalism is I learned how much I love living in an urban environment! It was so nice to walk places – to the grocery store, the post office, coffee shops, and restaurants. I think I was organically walking a lot more during that time.
While my son lives in an urban environment, he is not far from nature too!
While I don’t think I would enjoy living as an ultra minimalist full time, it was interesting to challenge myself and live out of a carry on suitcase and my computer bag for three weeks. I was thankful for the lessons that I learned during that time!
Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this post.
Okay friends, a couple weeks ago I talked about feeling lost in this time of change in life as I am about to help my son move across the country! I wanted to circle back to this topic as I have been continuing to process my feelings around the life changes that are happening for me right now. Ironically, shortly after I posted that blog talking about feeling lost, I heard something on a podcast that really resonated with what I was feeling. This was a Mel Robbins podcast and the gentleman she was interviewing was talking about how normal it is to feel lost at the end of a decade of life. For those of you who don’t know, I am turning 50 this fall! Not that there is anything different necessarily about turning 47 versus turning 50, but we all tend to evaluate our lives and choices as we near the end of a decade, kind of like we would as we near the end of a year. He said it is perfectly normal to feel lost when you are in the final year of a decade. This really reassured me that everything I was feeling was normal and valid.
The first thing I wanted to share with you, and encourage you if you’re going through a period of transition in life, is that it is normal to feel unrest during a time of change. It is okay to feel sad. It is okay to mourn the life you once had as it changes into something different. It’s good to really feel your feelings and process them rather than pushing down your feelings.
Which leads me to the next point I wanted to share. It’s so important during a time of change in life to have emotional awareness. I think it is human nature to not want to face negative feelings, and we have the tendency to lean on numbing tactics. It is so easy these days to distract ourselves from those negative feelings. We have so many distractions at our fingertips! With all the streaming services and social media apps available to us. It takes a lot of discipline and intention to process unresolved feelings. It’s important to find time to process through your feelings either journaling about them, talking through things with a friend, or perhaps seeing a professional – a therapist or counselor – to help you work through your feelings.
Next I wanted to talk about the importance of acceptance. Some life changes are unwelcome, and therefore it’s even more important for us to accept the change. You often hear in the grief process, acceptance is the final stage. As I mentioned, oftentimes with life changes comes the need to grieve the life we once had. Change is an inevitable part of life. Isn’t there some saying about that – the only thing consistent in life is change? Sometimes this change provides an opportunity to reinvent ourselves: pursuing new interests or hobbies, finding a new career path, or engaging in lifelong learning – either through a program or just self guided through YouTube or other online learning platforms.
It is important in a season of change to find things that bring fulfillment. For me entering a mid-life season is a prime time to rediscover and pursue passions that may have been sidelined by earlier responsibilities. This can involve revisiting old hobbies, exploring new interests, or setting new personal and professional goals. Career-wise, midlife may bring opportunities for a new beginning. You could embark on entirely different career path, or you may want to focus on achieving a better work-life balance or finding roles that align more closely with your values and passions.
During a time of transition, it’s important to cultivate strong, supportive relationships to help you navigate this time. Investing more in friendships during this time can help you to have that extra emotional support you need, and helps you to not feel so alone. Now is a great time to reevaluate your relationships and work on fostering deeper connections with those people who are encouraging and positive for you and stepping away from toxic relationships. Getting involved in new activities and hobbies might provide those connections for you!
Finally, I wanted to share about the importance of self compassion during this time. It’s important to acknowledge that everyone experiences challenges and setbacks. Being kind to yourself, forgiving past mistakes, and focusing on the present can help to keep your outlook positive. Also, as I mentioned seeking professional help, such as therapy or counseling, can also provide valuable support and guidance during this period.
I can’t believe one of our kids is going to be moving across the country very soon! But I am excited for him, and I’m excited for me as I see what this next phase of life holds for me. AND, I do still have two of our adult children living with us! Like I mentioned, I will be helping our son drive a U-Haul to Oregon, and so I will be gone for a good part of August. Because of this I will be taking a break from posting content in the month of August!
Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this post!
Okay friends, I think I have said this before but this was another one of those weeks that I was really struggling to know exactly what I wanted to share. I have several topic ideas simmering, but I feel like I just can’t flesh them out right now. And honestly, it may relate to what I have been feeling lately, and the topic I wanted to talk about today. For a lack of a better way to describe it I have been feeling lost lately. I’m in a weird life stage right now where I have adult children, but two of the three of them still live with us. We are honestly in a bit of a standstill in life right now, and maybe that is making me feel lost? We have talked about downsizing before, but without sharing a bunch of details about our situation, we have decided it is best to stay in the home we are currently in. It’s just not the right timing yet. Not to mention it financially makes sense to stay in our home because of the interest rates!
Everyone has a different “mid-life” experience. {{I don’t want to call it a mid-life crisis because I don’t like that term!}} Maybe I feel extra lost because I never really had a career that I developed since my focus was on raising my kids and taking care of our home. I did have a couple of part time jobs, and I also worked with non for profit organizations when my kids were younger, and then I ran my own business as a professional organizer for a few years. I’ve always kept busy but nothing consistent or cohesive, so now I’m in this phase of trying to figure out what I’m doing with my life and career.
In addition to feeling a little lost as far as my career, I think there are a lot of things that happen in this stage of life that people don’t talk about. Understandably so as it is difficult and painful things, and quite honestly hard to articulate the feelings around it. I am at the age where my kids are moving out or just getting older and moving towards leaving home and it’s hard to have a different family dynamic as they age. There are a lot of wonderful things about having adult children, but it does take getting used to parenting them in a different way as they turn into young adults. This is also the age where our parents begin to decline in health as they begin to age and you are really faced with the reality of their mortality. I did lose my biological father back in 2020, but I’m thankful that my mom and stepdad are still in fairly good health, and we have longevity on that side of the family as my grandfather turns 98 this month! But my husband’s parents are declining, so that reality has hit hard.
During this life phase it is easy to feel regret about everything you didn’t do with your life leading up to this point. It’s important to focus on the positive and remember all the things you did right. Also, I frequently remind myself – like I would a friend – that if I’m worried I didn’t do enough, then I probably was a good parent because I care enough to worry!
I think for me personally, all of these feelings are coming up because one of our kids will be moving – not just out of the house, but across the country to the pacific northwest in less than a month! Big life changes like this cause us to evaluate our lives and decide if we want or need to make some changes. And honestly, this is also triggering my anxiety. If you have been around a while then you might have heard me talk about my struggles with anxiety. When I was in my mid 30’s I was actually diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. While I have learned a lot of ways to manage it on my own without medication, there are life circumstances that can trigger it. I think I have been decluttering more around my home lately as part of a coping mechanism. I have more to say on that topic, but I will save that for another Thoughtful Thursday!
Since I was really struggling to know what to share, I thought I would just share with you what has actually been on my mind lately. I hope that this resonated with someone or made someone feel not as alone today. If you are going through life transitions – whatever they might be – I am sending you a big hug today!
The YouTube video I made in conjunction with this blog post.
Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to talk about something that keeps coming up lately in my conversations with friends, and that is balance. I tend to be an all or nothing person. I either won’t commit to something, or I commit 110%! It can be difficult for me to have balance in my life. Part of being someone who is an all or nothing type is being extremely disciplined and loyal to whatever we are committed to, probably to a fault. Sometimes we may do things out of obligation or sheer fortitude instead of having our heart and soul into it. We may end up being legalistic in what we are committed to, and just go through the motions instead of living in a present way.
I am learning that I don’t need to adhere to these strict set of arbitrary rules I place on myself. I’m learning to balance following a schedule and having routines, but also having some freedom and flexibility in that schedule. I’m learning the importance of listening to my intuition more and to stop being such a stickler about following my to-do lists. The other day I received two phone calls from two different friends who needed to talk to me. In the past I might have hesitated to answer the phone call no matter what, because I look at my to-do list and tell myself I don’t have time for this phone call that was not on my schedule for the day. But, I knew the circumstances of both of these friends and the things they were going through and I knew it was more important for me to set aside my to-do list to have those conversations.
Another example from this week: I used to be the type of person who went to church every Sunday without question, but now I listen to what my body or my soul needs and I follow that. Last Sunday I really felt like I needed time out in nature in the morning. I live in Texas, and if you want to get out in nature in the summer it pretty much needs to be in the morning! While I was in nature I got a phone call from a friend inviting me to go with them to their church (a service that was later in the morning than I usually go.) I felt like it reaffirmed my intuition to not go to my own church that day. My friend needed me with them at their church.
One thing I’m learning about balance is that it is not a static state, but instead an evolving process for each of us. It requires continual adjustment and adaptation to our changing circumstances and priorities in life. Have you ever walked across a balance beam? Or maybe across a log over water? It requires a lot of focus to remain balanced as you’re making your way across those. In the same way it takes a lot of self awareness in life to find that balance as we learn to fine tune our actions, choices, and values.
There are a lot of areas in life that require balance. From our mental, physical, and emotional well being to our social well being. If we can find balance in these areas of life, I think we experience more peace and harmony in our lives, but also it ensures we are living a life that is sustainable. One thing I was talking to some friends about was this idea of bouncing back and forth between being very strict with myself – my exercise and eating habits, and how I spend my time – and being more lax and feeling weary trying to keep up with it all. I think the key is balance. We can’t be perfect 100% of the time. We will have off days, down days, or days we just aren’t as motivated and productive, and that’s okay. I’m learning to fight that tendency towards perfection and lean into what my gut and intuition are guiding me to do! I would love for you to join in this conversation! Let me know down in the comments your thoughts on my thoughts!
Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.
Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to talk about something that has been on my mind. There were several things that caused me to think about if I am really leaving space in my life to process unresolved feelings, or am I still filling my life with other things as a distraction from processing and dealing with those feelings?
The first thing that spurred me on to think about if I am really dealing with my feelings is doing the Surrender Dip. If you missed it, last week I shared in my post (and in a DITL YouTube video) that I found this group on Instagram of people who get together once a week to jump in Barton Springs pool (which is a cold, spring fed pool in Austin) as a way to start the day off with positive energy! I decided to go again this week! The act of jumping in a cold pool has been a tangible way to let go of negative energy. But in addition to that it also just wakes you up. I don’t really know how to describe it. It shocks your nervous system in a good way. Also, this group provides a community of people who all are working to better themselves, which has led to some really deep and meaningful conversations. Some of these conversations have gotten me to really think about those areas of my life where I have some unresolved feelings.
The other thing that really got me to thinking about this idea of if I am really processing my feelings was a random YouTube video that I saw on my home page. As many of you know I am fascinated by minimalism, and trying to pursue a minimalist life in my own way. So this video where a YouTuber was sharing her extreme minimalist apartment tour with no furniture caught my eye. While I don’t think I could ever live as an extreme minimalist, I do find that lifestyle interesting and perhaps even a little bit enviable. As she walked us through every nook and cranny of her home – literally showing us everything she owned – I thought to myself how nice it would be to have so little to manage. Some of those feelings come from someone who has been a homemaker for many, many years and who is quite frankly tired of managing stuff!
Here is the YouTube video I watched if you’re interesting in check it out!
BUT, as I thought more about this idea of living with so little and having to manage so little I started thinking about what in the world I would do with all that extra time I would have. This made me realize that I do, to a certain extent, use my stuff or more specifically managing my stuff or working to keep me distracted. While I definitely have more margin in my life now than when my kids were younger, I find that I still am able to fill my time with work. I’m not exactly sure what to do with this information at this point. Do I look at my stuff with a more critical eye and declutter more? Do I lower my expectations of how often I clean and organize my stuff? Or are there other things in my life that I could cut back on in order to create that space that I need to process unresolved feelings?
It’s actually scary to think about opening that can of worms – allowing myself to really evaluate my feelings in certain areas that I have repressed over the years. But the first step is always awareness. I am aware that there are feelings that I have been masking or ignoring because it feels too hard. I was just talking to a friend this morning, and I realized that I have so much more self work to do! While I have grown a lot over the last five years of my life, I still have a lot more growth that needs to happen!
I don’t know what you are dealing with today. I don’t know what difficult thing you might be going through, but I hope this encouraged you today. Make space in your life to feel and process unresolved emotions! It is well worth it!
Here is the YouTube video I made in conjunction with this blog post.
Hey friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to debrief with you about a recent experience I had. I joined a group here in Austin and participated in something called a Surrender Dip. I also enlisted my friend Becca to come with me so I would feel less weird since I would at least know one person. I’ll start by summing it up with IT WAS AMAZING! I’m so glad I did this. Even if I just did it one time, it was so worth it. But I do plan to go back! So I found this group on Instagram. I guess the algorithm knew that I needed to find this group! The account on Instagram is Surrender Dip Austin and I recognized they were jumping into Barton Springs pool. So I reached out to the guy who heads up the group and asked him if this was open to anyone and if they did it regularly and he said yes! Anyone is welcome to come, and they do it every Tuesday morning! I honestly didn’t get much more information than that. I watched the Reels on Instagram and it looked like jumping into a cold pool was pretty much the extent to it. I assumed it also had some sort of community building aspect to it as well. (Scroll to the bottom to click on the YouTube video I made in conjunction with this post if you would like to see the jump!)
The first take away I had is how amazing it is to do things outside of my comfort zone! I really didn’t know what to expect and I’m so glad my friend Becca was willing to come with me because that made me feel a lot more at ease. I also had never met these people and I was hoping I would at least recognize the main guy! It’s always a little scary to just walk up to a stranger and introduce yourself, even though I told him that I would be coming. But this group of people was so kind and welcoming to me and my friend! After we jumped, we all just hung out in the pool and Becca and I were getting to know some of the people who participated. After we got out my friend and I got into a conversation with two of the guys. We seemed to quickly connect about some shared experiences we had, and when they shared some of their stories it made me feel safe to share some of my story. It reminded me of how valuable vulnerability is when developing friendships or community. I was also reminded that people cross our paths for a purpose. Some people may just be for a short time, and some people for a lifetime, but I don’t think it was just a coincidence that we encountered each other! All from an instagram post!
The conversations we had were so meaningful and when it was winding down, the guy who formed this Surrender Dip group suggested we do a quick mediation – just to process the morning. So, the four of us lined up on the grass and sat in silence with our eyes closed. It was such a sweet moment. I mostly prayed for each of the people sitting there with me, but I also just became overwhelmed with gratitude for each of them. For old and new friends. For Becca for being there for me this morning, and for my new friends for listening to my story, and for being vulnerable enough to share parts of their stories. There are people in this world who I believe are just a light. Who love people so well – and I felt that from each of them that morning.
I’m so glad I didn’t let my fear win when I thought I should go to this Surrender Dip group because immediately I thought about all of the reasons I didn’t want to go. Getting up early to drive downtown? Meeting strangers? Jumping in a cold pool? All of this sounded scary and hard. But just because things are scary and/or hard doesn’t mean they aren’t good! I wish I had the words to articulate how amazing this experience was. I will be on the lookout for the next time I can do something out of my comfort zone!
Here is the YouTube video I made in conjunction with this blog post.
I mentioned in a previous post that our son Luke just graduated from The University of Texas and will be moving to Portland, Oregon at the end of the summer for his first job out of college. We went to visit to help him find where he wanted to live before moving out there. We actually used to live in Portland prior to moving to Austin, so it was fun to go back and show him around! After that trip I was definitely pondering some things about life and I wanted to share those things with you for this Thoughtful Thursday post.
The most important things in life are not things at all. We work hard, we hustle, we keep up pace on that treadmill of life and for what? Physical stuff comes and goes in our lives. But in the end we lose it all. There is a Bible passage that addresses this idea: Matthew 6:19-21 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Of course we need stuff to live, but our focus should not be on stuff as it isn’t lasting. The memories we make with people and the experiences we have are what’s important.
Like I mentioned, our son Luke will be moving to Portland at the end of the summer. We have two other adult children, but they are currently living with us so this is the first child we are really launching fully into the “real world.” Of course there is part of me that is a little sad, but I am so excited for him. And this is what we do as parents – we prepare them to live on their own, to be productive members of society. But one thing you face as your children begin growing up and moving out is regret. Sometimes I think of all of the time I spent taking care of and managing stuff, leaving less time to spend with my kids. But I also look back and realize how much time and energy I was afforded to pour into and spend with them as a SAHM and I’m forever grateful for those opportunities! It can be easy to be hard on yourself and feel like maybe you didn’t do enough for them, but likely if you care enough to think about that – you were an amazing parent!
But, reflecting back reminds me that moving forward in life I would like to be intentional with how I spend my time, energy, and money. I know I have shared these ideas before in different capacities, but today I wanted to remind you that focusing on experiences and relationships has brought so much more fulfillment, joy, and excitement than any physical items! I’m so thankful I came across the idea of minimalism several years ago. I feel like this way of life has really changed my priorities and outlook. Decluttering and then being intentional with what comes into my home has afforded me the time and money to pursue other things that are far more meaningful!
Admittedly, it’s not always easy to prioritize experiences and relationships. It can feel so comfy sitting on the sofa, watching Netflix or scrolling on the phone, but it is so worth it to get out there and live life and enjoy experiences! One of the reasons my son was interested in the job in Portland was the quality of life there. He is an active person and loves outdoor activities and living in this city will definitely allow him to pursue those things! I know sometimes I may sound redundant on these Thoughtful Thursday posts, but if you’re anything like me you need the reminders! I hope this was encouraging to you!
Here is the video I created in conjunction with this post if you would like to see more of our trip to Portland, Oregon!
organized with joy 