lifestyle

NO BUY/LOW BUY FEBRUARY INSIGHTS

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Hey friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday, it is the last Thursday of the month, so I want to give a recap on how my no buy/low buy year has been going so far. I did want to report at the top that I was successful for another month! Well, I know we still have a few more days in February as I type this, but I don’t anticipate having any slip ups the next few days.

The first realization I had this month was noticing my tendency to overbuy multiples when I like something. I guess I kind of already knew this. But going through the process of decluttering on a new level and not bringing in new items, I see it more clearly. My leather earring collection is a perfect example. Now, to be fair, I have been collecting these earrings for over 10 years, and there was a time when I was wearing them everyday. But, I don’t need as many as I had. I think before decluttering I counted around 30 pairs? Which is really quite ridiculous! I could wear different earrings every day of the month! I did declutter a handful of them, giving them to a friend who also really likes that style, but honestly could probably declutter more. The earrings are not the only category of items I have this struggle of overbuying. I know I have several pairs of shoes that all look very similar as well. I need to be more mindful of this when purchasing items moving forward after my no buy year. I think this was just a sign of the habit of shopping, and always wanting the new and shiny! 

I know I have shared this in the past, but I will share it today as it is relevant to this conversation. There was definitely a time when I had unhealthy spending habits and used shopping as a way to cope with anxiety and stress. Early on in our marriage I was very frugal and a lot more intentional about what I purchased because my husband’s income was modest, and we were living solely on his income. But looking back, I see that as he progressed in his career and his income grew, our spending just kept creeping up as well. Regardless of how much we make, I want to be very intentional with how we spend our money, and in particular what comes into our home. It’s honestly not just about the money anymore, it’s about my desire to live with less. I shared a Joshua Becker quote over on Instagram this week that said, “We don’t buy things with money. We buy them with hours from our lives.” And this really resonated with me. As someone who has primarily been a homemaker for most of my adult life, I am weary of taking care of stuff and I am just wanting to simplify!

Another thing I have been thinking about this month is wondering if this no buy year has been a springboard for me to implementing other healthy habits. I mentioned in last month’s recap that I am also doing a challenge each month this year in addition to the no buy year. Honestly, the challenges seem so simple because I know it’s only going to be one month as opposed to the entire year! In January I chose to eliminate alcohol and I decided to roll that into February. And then in February I chose to give up sugar for the month (which has definitely been more challenging!) But overall, I feel like doing this no buy challenge has given me more of a desire to make healthy choices in life all around. In March, instead of eliminating a possible vice from my life, I am going to challenge myself to walk every single day in March. I have been walking more often, but I would like to make it a daily habit. Walking more is one of the goals I wrote down for my year, so this is a way to build that habit into my daily routines. We’ll see how it goes!

But I did want to talk about something that surprised me a little even though it should not have. In February with the  no buy year, no alcohol, plus no sugar, I realized I had eliminated a lot of my go to vices if I was having a rough day. It was a good thing that I was almost forced to experience those negative feelings without covering them up with something else. It forced me to choose a more healthy or positive way to deal with these feelings – like talking to friends, journaling, or taking an Epsom salt bath at the end of the day. It has been good to learn to replace these negative coping mechanisms with more positive ones.

Like I mentioned at the beginning of this post, I did not fail this month BUT I did experience some temptation. Remember last month when I said I told myself to scroll past the ads on Instagram. Well, I have not been listening to myself! Those Instagram ads just get me! They are always showing me ads for clothes and that is for sure my main vice as far as spending goes. So I need to get back to being disciplined about scrolling through ads!

The last thing I wanted to share is that I really feel like my creativity is in overdrive! I think this is because I have that extra time and bandwidth that is no longer focused on shopping. I have been working on fixing up our home and while I should be getting some practical things done around our house, I just can’t help but come up with different design ideas! Last month I shared a little makeover in our back entryway, and I have some other ideas for other areas of my home, so stay tuned if you like that sort of content!

Okay friends, that is all for this month’s recap! I am shocked and also so thankful for all of the insights I have had so far this year, month two into my no buy year! If you are doing a no buy year, I would love to hear how it’s going for you! Or just let me know your thoughts on my thoughts today!

The YouTube video I created in conjunction with this blog post.

DECLUTTERING CONFESSIONS

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Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday I wanted to share a few confessions about my decluttering practices. One thing I have been thinking a lot about is authenticity online. I think it is okay to have some boundaries online, but it is definitely a tough balance to keep some things private while still being authentic. There are parts of my life that I keep private because it has nothing to do with the content that I share. My aim with my blog and YouTube channel is to inspire and motivate people. My content is about cleaning, decluttering, and organizing. SO, with that said I want to share my confessions about decluttering as I think sometimes I think I can make it look simple.

My first confession: there are some items that I do not remove from my home right away. For the most part I actually remove all items I declutter from my home after collecting enough to take to a thrift shop. BUT, sometimes I have items that I am struggling to let go and I will stockpile those items in my laundry room cabinet. Typically these are items that I have a sentimental attachment to, but I do think it’s best to get rid of them. It does help to separate them out and keep them down there because I think it begins to break that attachment.

With regards to the stuff that I have decluttered, but really ends up in quarantine, I have a story to share with you. Recently I decluttered quite a bit of jewelry. This is one category that I really struggle to truly let go of it so I have quite the pile just quarantined in my laundry room. Unless I give it away to someone who I know will enjoy it. In this last round of decluttering I sent several pairs of large leather earrings to a friend who wanted them! But the other pieces I added to the growing pile that was still left in my laundry room. I decided to go through the jewelry really quickly to see if I was still feeling okay with letting it all go. I came across this bracelet that had the phrase “Choose Joy” inscribed on it. I actually purchased this bracelet along with a similar one that read “create” many years ago at a local boutique here in Austin. In general, I do not often wear bracelets. I find they just get in my way when I am trying to do everyday chores. I believe that is why I chose to declutter these bracelets. I was not wearing them often enough to warrant keeping them. But when I came across that “choose joy” bracelet, the meaning hit me a bit differently than when I purchased it. The artist who created this bracelet probably intended for the meaning to be a reminder to choose joy everyday. But this time when I read the message I thought to myself “choose joy” huh. Choose myself. Once again my name provides a double meaning for me.

I feel like one thing I have learned over the last several years is to quit putting myself last. Quit constantly putting everyone else’s needs and desires ahead of my own. Not in a selfish way, not in a rude way, but recognizing that it is okay to have needs and desires. Suddenly this bracelet’s message meant more to me than it previously did. AND, you guessed it, I did retrieve this bracelet from the declutter pile and I’ve been wearing it! So if you are really hesitating to follow through on decluttering something, or a category of things, it’s okay to wait until you are fully ready to let go!

My next decluttering confession is that I have had regrets on items that I have decluttered. But, honestly, it is only one category of things that I truly have regret for decluttering and that is the physical copy of Bible studies I have gone through. Usually after I am done with a Bible study I just recycle it unless it was something really meaningful and I thought I would revisit the information later. I wish that I had kept these as it might be a neat thing for my kids or grandkids to look through one day. I especially regret all of the inductive Bible study materials I got rid of. If you’re not familiar with this type of study, it is looking at the words used and cross referencing the Hebrew words for the Old Testament and the Greek for the New Testament. I have done this type of study for 15-20 books in the Bible over the years. I really wish I had kept all of those materials. BUT, I guess I can start over and save them moving forward!

My last decluttering confession is that I do experience guilt about the wasted money I spend on items I am decluttering. I have spoken about this before, but I recognize that it really is a privilege that I can declutter. I recognize that some people are more hesitant to declutter because they can’t easily financially replace items if they change their minds. I know that at one point in my life I used shopping as a way of coping with stress and anxiety. This is exactly why I chose to do a no buy year back in 2019, to reset these toxic habits. And I saw this habit creeping back in, especially over the past year, so I decided to do another no buy year this year. I do wish it had not taken me so long to learn that this was a coping mechanism. I don’t like how wasteful I was in the past, and I don’t like that I was on that consumerism hamster wheel. But all I can do is make better decisions moving forward!

I hope you found these decluttering confessions interesting! Let me know if you have any decluttering specific questions for me and I can address those in a future blog post. But as always, I would love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts today! Let me know down in the comments!

Here is the YouTube video I created in conjunction with this blog post.

NO BUY/LOW BUY JANUARY INSIGHTS

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Okay friends, for this week’s Thoughtful Thursday post, I wanted to share the insights I have gained so far from participating in a no buy/low buy year. I have actually been quite surprised that I have already experienced the benefits and gained so much insight just in the first month!

The first insight in doing this low buy year is it has made me hyper aware of how much money we spend! And since I am doing a low buy as opposed to “no buy,” I’m just talking about the necessities. I’m realizing how expensive life is even without the extras! This has caused me to evaluate some of our “necessities” like subscriptions we have and if they are actually worth continuing. I have already eliminated one subscription and there is another one I believe I will be discontinuing. In addition to being hyper aware of how much we are spending, I have also become aware of what others are spending. Not in a judgmental sort of way, but just in a noticing sort of way. The other day I was watching a haul on YouTube and I was just thinking about how she was going to have to deal with all of that stuff she brought into her home – clean, organize, and maintain it. And potentially make decisions around decluttering it one day. Doing this no buy/low buy year has made me more aware of consumerism, which is causing me to evaluate my own behavior.

The next insight that I have had on this low buy journey is how much extra we have on hand. Like food in our pantry and freezer, toiletries, and cleaners. I am being more intentional with what I purchase and working to use up what we have on hand. My husband and I currently have two of our three adult children living with us, so as a family of four adults we don’t need as much as we have had on hand. This has also caused me to get creative with the food we have in our pantry and freezer and make meals around what we already have available.

In addition to realizing I don’t need as much extra on hand as I have, I’m also realizing that I don’t need as many options as I have available to me. Because of this, I find that I am becoming more critical of my possessions and being more realistic with myself if I actually am using or loving certain items. I just did a whole house declutter the other day, which I shared the process over on my YouTube channel vlog style if you want to check that out! I’m realizing that I would rather have less to take care of than to have a lot of options available to me. I also recently decluttered my makeup collection and it has been so nice to have a more curated collection, which has made it much easier to get ready each day.

Lastly, I feel like this low buy year so far has caused me to be more creative. I didn’t think I was spending a lot of time shopping, but perhaps I was spending more time than I realized or perhaps just thinking about items that I potentially wanted to purchase was taking up brain space. Now I have more time and brain space for other things, like being creative! As I mentioned, I have been a lot more creative in the kitchen as I work to use what we have on hand. Also, on this note, having a more curated makeup collection has actually caused me to be more creative with the makeup I do have! I have to get creative with less makeup to work with. I have also been more creative with my YouTube channel – with editing, but also pursuing ideas that I have had but felt I didn’t really have time for. I recently started a decluttering with friends series on my channel where I will be filming in some friends’ homes to help them get their spaces decluttered and organized.

I am really excited to continue this journey to see what other insights I gain as the year progresses! I’m also just excited at the prospect of this no buy/low buy year really being a catalyst for pursuing minimalism. I have been pursuing minimalism for close to ten years now and I think this low buy year will really help as the inflow of items into my home slows down!

Here is the YouTube video I made in conjunction with this blog post.


MY NO BUY YEAR 2025

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Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday video I wanted to talk to you about my no buy or low buy year in 2025. I know I mentioned that I might be doing this in 2025 and I have officially decided that this would be a really good challenge for me this year. Shout out to one of my newer YouTube friends Leah, who really pushed me over the edge to encourage me to do this challenge! She is also doing a no buy challenge! She also has a discord group for anyone doing a no buy year and it’s already been amazing to connect with some like minded people!

I have done a no buy year in the past. It has been a while as that was back in 2019. I chronicled the whole process through blog posts here on my website so you can search back through and read those if you are interested. I decided to go back and skim through some of those blog posts as I wanted to recap lessons I learned so that I can get the most out of this round two of no buy year. The primary thing I would like to be conscientious about is how I am spending my time. I did learn that doing a no buy year actually gave me more extra time than I expected. At first I was not utilizing my extra time in a productive way, so I want to be sure to be aware of that this time around. I also want to be aware of not replacing shopping with other unhealthy vices. Instead I would like to replace it with things that are meaningful or will be good for me in the long run.

My primary goal with this no buy year is to really eliminate vices I use in my life to avoid doing difficult things, or to avoid self reflection/self growth. Something as simple as house projects I am avoiding. They need to get done, but I do other things and ignore them and then they keep piling up. I would like to tackle all of these house projects I have been avoiding, some for years. I think this shift will also help me to be more creative in general, and help me to step outside of my comfort zone more.

Another reason I want to do this is because I recognize that when you are trying to pursue minimalism or a simplified life, it is important to pay attention to the inflow as much as decluttering or the outflow. If we are continuing to purchase things without being intentional about our purchases, we can end up just constantly working at decluttering but not see much progress.

SO, let’s get to the details of this now buy year. Obviously it’s technically more of a low buy year because I will be purchasing basic necessity items. I will be purchasing food, toiletries, cleaners and anything I need for basic everyday needs. However, with regard to food, I will not be buying as much processed food as I have in the past. I will keep some convenience foods on hand, because I know for our family right now it’s impractical to not have any on hand. I will be transforming my pantry into a primarily ingredient based pantry and I will be sharing that process on my YouTube channel later this month! I will talk in more detail about food and how that will play out with my no buy year in the video where I makeover my pantry!

The main thing I want to focus on for this no buy year is clothing. I know that my biggest vice is shopping for clothes. I do feel like after my previous no buy year I got much better at being intentional with what came into my house in general, but even with clothes. I feel like slowly over the last 5 years I have gotten worse about truly being intentional, so this no buy year will be a reset for me. The only exceptions will be if I need to replace something – but I will be really ruthless with myself if it ACTUALLY needs to be replaced. The other exception will be purchasing a dress for my sister’s wedding. I may be able to use one I have, but I will allow myself to purchase a new one for that occasion. In addition to clothing I also will not purchase any new shoes or accessories. Again, I do have one exception because I really need a new computer bag, which I have been on the hunt for all year without luck! I also will not be purchasing any new home decor. But I will be purchasing items for all of those home projects that need to get done!

One category I want to address is health and beauty. I will purchase items that run out or need to be replaced, but I have a good morning and evening skin care routine that I am going to stick to and I’m not going to purchase additional products. I also regularly purchase vitamins and supplements and I will continue to purchase those as well as I find that health and fitness are one of my top priorities.

I am really excited about what this year will bring with this huge challenge I am undertaking! I’m also nervous, because I do remember that it was definitely difficult the last time I did it! I would love to hear what your thoughts are about this no buy year challenge. Have you ever done anything like this? If so, what was your experience with it? I would love to hear from you in the comments!

The YouTube video I shared in conjunction to this blog post.

NO SPEND YEAR IN 2025?

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Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I decided I wanted to talk about some of my ideas moving into the new year. This will be the final Thoughtful Thursday of the year because I will not be posting the week of Christmas. My son will be in town and I want to just focus on enjoying time with family that week!

So, in case you didn’t know this, I just turned 50 last month and I feel like it has caused me to really evaluate life. Well, really I have been quite introspective over the last 5 years or so. I have been constantly evaluating how I spend my time, energy, and resources. And I have done a lot of challenging things to intentionally push myself outside of my comfort zone to try to become a better person. I recently watched a documentary on Netflix entitled Buy Now. It is all about consumerism in Westernized culture and how marketing has gotten so specific with the rise in popularity of social media. One thing I have shared in the past as a decluttering tip is to be mindful not just of the outflow but also the inflow. You can do a ton of decluttering and consistently make that a part of your everyday or every week routines, but if you continue to bring things into your home it will feel like you have not made progress.

As I was watching this documentary I was evaluating my own recent spending habits and decided that I would like to make some changes. If you have been following me on social media you might know that I did a lot of traveling in 2024. Because of those trips, I purchased more clothes this year than I have in many years. Back in 2019, I decided to do a no spend year as a way to really deal with my spending habits especially with regards to clothes and home decor. I feel like I learned so much that year. I chronicle this experience here on my blog by writing a monthly blog post during that no spend year, so you can go back and read those. But this year, as I really evaluate things, I think some of those old spending habits have crept back in. 

Watching this documentary made me realize that some of it has to do with marketing, particularly on social media apps. I was talking with a friend about it and she also mentioned how easy it is to purchase things now through links – whether that is on a social media app or through an influencer. She talked about how all the “pain points” are removed. Oftentimes our credit card information is saved on our phone, or through Instagram, Amazon, or Google pay. Our name and address are also saved. We no longer need to enter all that information in and with one click we can have what we want.

So, with all of this said, I am considering doing a no spend year again in 2025! I haven’t fully decided if I am going to do this. I have also thought about alternatively “fasting” from something each month of next year. I’m still pondering all these details. If I do a no spend year, it will again be focused on clothes, shoes, accessories, and home decor. I will need to purchase things for fixing up our home, because there is a long to do list for home maintenance! One reason I thought about implementing this no spend year is because I remember one of the huge benefits of cutting shopping out of my life is how much extra time I had! I know that sounds a bit silly. But I am so bad at making decisions – deciding which color and which size and measuring to determine which size, and reading reviews, then often having to return things that didn’t fit. It just wastes a lot of time!

One thing I know about myself is that I am really good at keeping up with everyday responsibilities, and keeping up with healthy habits and routines, but when it comes to extra things that need to get done, I keep putting those on the back burner. Like I mentioned, there are a lot of projects that need done around our house that just take time to research and make decisions and I want to focus on that throughout this next year. Also, I truly thought I was done decluttering, but I am still noticing some things around my house that I could let go of. I want to continue to focus on decluttering our home and watching to see the difference it makes to mostly stop the inflow!

Let me know what kind of plans you have for the new year! I don’t necessarily like the term New Year’s Resolutions, but if that’s what you call them – let me know what yours are! Let me know what goals you have for 2025 or what ideas you have brewing for the new year!

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post!

5 BENEFITS OF MINIMAL HOLIDAY DECOR

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Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday I wanted to share with you the 5 benefits of having minimal Christmas decor. I thought this was a great topic for this time of year as we all begin to get our holiday decor out! And before I get into that, just want to make a disclaimer and say I fully appreciate people who like to go maximalist for the holidays! If you enjoy having an abundance of decor for the Christmas season and it works for you then go for it! I just wanted to share the benefits of less!

The first benefit of minimal Christmas decor is that it saves you time! It takes less time to put up the decor and it also takes less time to take it down. Around the holidays is such a busy time of year with extra obligations and events to attend. There is shopping, wrapping, filling out Christmas cards, holiday parties, and end of the season children’s events to attend! Not to mention the extra baking and cooking this time of year! Having extra time is always a good thing, but especially around the holidays!

The second benefit is that you are able to fully enjoy the items you have to display. With a curated holiday collection of decor, you are able to appreciate each piece fully! You are able to focus on quality over quantity, and each piece becomes that much more special. For me, an extra side benefit of this is that you are more intentional about what you purchase for holiday decor, not overspending on decor during a season where there is more financial burden than the rest of the year.

The next benefit of minimal holiday decor is it prevents overstimulation. The holiday season can be a season of overstimulation! This season is a time where excess seems to be acceptable – eating, drinking, socializing, gifts, and of course decor! All of this excess can be very overstimulating. We all have a different bandwidth for how much we are able to handle before we feel overstimulated. I admit that I think I have a lower threshold than most. But with less to visually consume each day, the less you will be stimulated. This is honestly true for decor year round! Overstimulation can lead to stress as well, so this also can prevent additional stress in what can be an already stressful season.

The fourth benefit is that minimal Christmas decor promotes creativity and personalization. With minimal decor, it affords you the opportunity to get creative. I like to arrange my holiday decor differently every year. This helps me to not be as tempted to purchase new decor each year. I like to find not only a different space to style my items around my home, but also styling them in a new way. I chose to style the white ceramic trees on my coffee table this year, which lead to me coming up with this whole white theme idea! Last year I styled these trees on my mantel {{see photo above.}} It also encourages personalization and uniqueness as you curate your collection intentionally and style it in a creative way. There is something to be said for being intentional with what you purchase and collecting unique pieces over time. 

Lastly, with minimal Christmas decor we are able to focus more on the holiday spirit – spending time with loved ones, enjoying holiday gatherings and traditions, or cooking and baking special holiday treats and meals. Focusing more on the essence of the season – family, friends, and memories, instead of getting lost in excessive decor will be more meaningful in the long run.

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.

SLOWING DOWN

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Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to talk about how when we slow down, it creates a perspective shift in life. In today’s culture, productivity and busyness seem to be praised above all else. It seems like it is a badge of honor to answer the question how are you doing with the answer: I’ve been so busy! But I would like to argue that busyness doesn’t necessarily equal productivity. And slowing down can give us the space we need to evaluate our lives and if what we are doing with our time and energy truly aligns with our goals and values.

One of the main reasons people hesitate to slow down is because they equate it with getting behind. In our westernized culture, we have been taught that busyness leads to success and success reveals our worth, measured by our output. This relentless pace can lead to stress and eventually burnout because it doesn’t leave room for creativity, introspection, or genuine connection with family and friends. On the other hand, people often equate slowing down with doing nothing, or worse laziness. But the truth is slowing down allows us to live life with intention and presence. By slowing down we leave space to evaluate our lives, our surroundings, and our thoughts and feelings. This introspection gives us insight into what we really want out of life. In the hustle and bustle of life, we can begin to focus on the immediate which can cause us to lose sight of what really matters!

Oftentimes, creative ideas arise from moments of quiet and reflection, not during moments of intense stress and busyness. Have you even awoken in the middle of the night with a great idea? Our bodies are able to slow down enough for our minds to wander and think about new possibilities. Slowing down fosters a mental state that is open and receptive, allowing us to come up with those new and creative ideas.

Slowing down can help us enjoy everyday tasks more as we shift our perspective to being present in each moment. So often we feel hurried and rushed, like we are living life against the clock. With the modern pace of life time can feel like a scarce resource and something to be managed and optimized, however if we are able to slow down we can experience a sense of flow and harmony as we take care of our daily tasks. When we slow down these everyday mundane tasks can actually be enjoyable as we live with a deliberate mindset. We begin to notice the small moments that can bring joy and peace into our lives. We might begin to truly experience things with all 5 senses, being fully attuned to the moment – something that is difficult to do when we are moving quickly and doing things just to get them done.

This week I decided to start eating my lunch outside in quietness. No phone, no YouTube video to watch, no talking to people. I tend to eat lunch by myself anyway. I started this practice as a way to slow down. Eating in silence has already helped me to be more aware. I feel like I eat so slow and I’m not sure if I am eating more slowly as I sit quietly in nature to eat, or if time is passing by more slowing because I’m not multitasking. I plan to do this for 30 days to see the long term benefits!

Slowing down enhances our relationships. As we take the time to truly listen to others and engage with them we deepen our connections and develop greater empathy. Instead of hurrying through conversations or multitasking while we are talking, we create that space for genuine connection.

Slowing down is not about withdrawing from life or avoiding responsibilities. It’s about being more present and mindful in the way we approach life. It’s about enjoying each moment to the fullest. It’s about giving ourselves permission to have space to pause and reflect. We move from a mindset of scarcity and urgency to one of abundance and presence. This shift allows us to see the beauty in the mundane, and to connect more deeply with ourselves and others.

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.

CURBING EXPECTATIONS

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Okay friends, this week’s Thoughtful Thursday will be brief because I always share the content of these posts over on my YouTube channel in conjunction with sharing some sort of homemaking motivation and this week I did a lot of chatting in this video! I was decluttering and cleaning out my closet, so if you want to check that out I always have my YouTube videos linked at the bottom of each Thoughtful Thursday post. Perhaps this will make up for the extremely long one I shared last week! For this week’s topic I wanted to talk about a quote I shared over on Instagram earlier this week. It is a quote from Buddha and it says, “Don’t blame people for disappointing you. Blame yourself for expecting too much from them.”

I thought it was appropriate to discuss this idea to share while I’m cleaning out my closet because for a long time I really struggled with placing expectations on my husband. There were a lot of expectations I had, but today I will talk about this expectation that he would have the same desire for a clutter free environment and therefore put forth effort to declutter. I personally decided to stop having this expectation of him. I can lead by example, and I can do things to make decluttering more manageable for him, but I understand that he doesn’t really want to spend his free time decluttering.

We need to allow people to set boundaries and what they are capable or willing to do, recognizing that they will not always do things the way we want them to or the way we would do them. I like quoting Mel Robbins who brings up this idea often on social media and her podcast: she says “Let them.” We are not in control of other people and how they live their lives so we need to just let them. Let them live their lives the way they want to or need to live their lives. With most people, perhaps not with our spouse, we only see a small portion of their lives. We don’t know what they are going through. We don’t know what their social or emotional bandwidth is. We don’t know how much margin they have in their lives. So, to have expectations of people is really just not fair. We must have a perspective shift and take accountability for our REACTION to someone disappointing us.

On the other hand, it is okay for YOU to set your own boundaries as well. You are allowed to live your life the way you want to. Setting boundaries is not unkind. We are only responsible for our own choices and if we are intentional with our time and boundaries we will be able to sleep well at night even if others don’t agree with or understand our choices. Like I mentioned, no one knows what you go through on a daily basis, or what your bandwidth is. Only you know and get to choose how to spend your time based on your bandwidth.

The key here is perspective. We can lead happy and peaceful lives if we keep perspective. We have a choice on how to react or respond to the behavior of others. If someone disappoints you I think it is perfectly fine and healthy to have a conversation with that person. It’s okay to let someone know, especially if they are close to you, that they have disappointed you. But the key is to have an open mind with their response, allowing them to have boundaries. This isn’t a simple thing to do, but I have found I am much happier and at peace when I hold my expectations loosely.

The YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this post.

INTENTIONAL LIVING IN 2024

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Hey friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to talk about the value of intentional living. {{Scroll to the bottom to find the link to my YouTube video I’m sharing in conjunction with this post. I’m sharing some footage I took while driving to Portland with my son and then while we were in Portland.}} It can be so easy to fill our schedules to the brim. We live in a culture characterized by distractions, demands (both in our physical world and online), and fast paced living. I’m realizing the value of living intentionally to give me that space to really enjoy and savor each moment. There was a time in my life, when my kids were younger, that I felt like I was rushing through moments as I had my eyes on the horizon towards the next thing. Now I’m learning the value of consciously choosing how to spend my time, energy, and resources so that they are in alignment with my values, goals, and priorities. We don’t have to live on autopilot, living in a passive way and allowing the distractions and demands to dictate what we do. Instead as we focus on living intentionally we can cultivate a greater sense of fulfillment and purpose in life.

What does it mean to live with intention? When I looked up the definition on the Merriam-Webster website the definition that resonated with me was: a determination to act in a certain way; resolve. I like that idea of resolve. When we resolve to do something it’s not always the easy path or what we really want to do, but rather it’s what we choose to do. But a surprising definition entry was: a process or manner of healing of incised wounds. Wow. This really struck me. I thought about how when we are busy we have no time to process things. We have no space to heal emotionally or sometimes even physically. When we live with intention it leaves the margin we need to heal. When we leave this margin we are able to reflect on and evaluate what matters most to us so that we can align our daily choices with those values and priorities. We don’t have to follow social expectations or family pressure, but instead can decide what are those inner values and make choices that align with our long term well-being, goals, and happiness.

This doesn’t necessarily mean a meticulously planned out day, week, or life. It’s not about adhering to some rigid routines you put in place, instead it’s about being proactive on how you spend your time and not allow your choices to be influenced by external pressures and circumstances and instead by your own thoughtful choices that come from a place of your authentic self. Life is unpredictable, and things don’t always go our way. Challenges and setbacks are inevitable. Living with intention doesn’t mean we are exempt from difficulties in life, but actually helps us to be more equipped to deal with struggles as we can adapt, pivot, and continue to make choices that align with our values and priorities. Already having these values and priorities on the forefront of our minds can act as a compass as we navigate through challenging or unexpected circumstances. When we have not evaluated values, goals, and priorities, it can be all too easy to be reactive, giving into frustration and potentially reacting impulsively in stressful or unexpected circumstances in life.

Another key element to living intentionally is letting go of perfectionism. Perfectionism is not only not necessary, but it’s also not attainable. Living with this desire for perfection is also unhealthy. We weren’t created for perfection. Living with intention allows us to focus on progress over perfection. When we fall into the trap of believing there is some idealized version of life, it often leads to stress, anxiety, and burnout. By letting go of perfection, we can focus on making consistent choices that lead us towards our goals, values, and priorities, and embracing that we will not always do things flawlessly. This mindset allows us to embrace that life isn’t perfect, but instead those failures can foster resilience and encourage growth.

Mindfulness is another important aspect of living with intention. By practicing mindfulness we can become more attuned to our thoughts and emotions. This deeper awareness allows for self reflection which can help us stay on our intended path. Being mindful also encourages us to live in the present. We must be aware of the many distractions around us so we don’t get caught up in the busyness of life and miss the opportunities to engage with the present.

There are lots of things I have learned through focusing on living intentionally, but I will just share the top three things with you. The first thing I have learned in slowing down and living with more intention, is the value of being in nature. Time in nature is never wasted. For me being surrounded by God’s beauty refuels my soul and gives me energy! There is a John Muir quote that I really love. He said “Life I am so moved by nature. I have been known to cry while driving into the mountains, staring at a waterfall, or walking through the forest.

The other thing I have learned is to really value cultivating relationships that are supportive and meaningful. This involves being present with loved ones, offering my full attention (like putting my phone away when we are together), and spending quality time with one another. It’s not always easy to prioritize relationships. It takes intention to be authentic and vulnerable, creating space to develop intimacy with one another. It also includes setting healthy boundaries, and really evaluating who you spend your time with. There may be people who don’t contribute positively to your life. You may find you need to step away from these draining or even toxic relationships. By surrounding yourself with people who uplift and inspire you, you create an environment that supports your intentional path.

Lastly, living with intention is more likely to provide us with opportunities to do things outside of our comfort zone. By its nature, intentional living promotes growth, expansion, and change. When we stop living on autopilot and living in the rut of societal expectations, we can do things that in the past we have felt uncomfortable doing. The more I do things outside of my comfort zone, the more I realize that this is where life is truly lived! Helen Keller said, “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” And I couldn’t agree more! When we just run on the treadmill of life we aren’t really living!

Well friends, I hope this post about living intentionally encouraged you today. I always love hearing from you in the comments, so please share your thoughts on my thoughts. I also wanted to share an update on my son: he is doing amazing in Portland! He is loving his job and making new friends. I’m so incredibly proud of him and so glad I was able to be there for him in this big life transition! Click on the link below if you want to check out my video sharing the process of moving him!

FINDING BALANCE IN LIFE

/ OrganizedWithJoy / Leave a comment

Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to talk about something that keeps coming up lately in my conversations with friends, and that is balance. I tend to be an all or nothing person. I either won’t commit to something, or I commit 110%! It can be difficult for me to have balance in my life. Part of being someone who is an all or nothing type is being extremely disciplined and loyal to whatever we are committed to, probably to a fault. Sometimes we may do things out of obligation or sheer fortitude instead of having our heart and soul into it. We may end up being legalistic in what we are committed to, and just go through the motions instead of living in a present way.

I am learning that I don’t need to adhere to these strict set of arbitrary rules I place on myself. I’m learning to balance following a schedule and having routines, but also having some freedom and flexibility in that schedule. I’m learning the importance of listening to my intuition more and to stop being such a stickler about following my to-do lists. The other day I received two phone calls from two different friends who needed to talk to me. In the past I might have hesitated to answer the phone call no matter what, because I look at my to-do list and tell myself I don’t have time for this phone call that was not on my schedule for the day. But, I knew the circumstances of both of these friends and the things they were going through and I knew it was more important for me to set aside my to-do list to have those conversations.

Another example from this week: I used to be the type of person who went to church every Sunday without question, but now I listen to what my body or my soul needs and I follow that. Last Sunday I really felt like I needed time out in nature in the morning. I live in Texas, and if you want to get out in nature in the summer it pretty much needs to be in the morning! While I was in nature I got a phone call from a friend inviting me to go with them to their church (a service that was later in the morning than I usually go.) I felt like it reaffirmed my intuition to not go to my own church that day. My friend needed me with them at their church.

One thing I’m learning about balance is that it is not a static state, but instead an evolving process for each of us. It requires continual adjustment and adaptation to our changing circumstances and priorities in life. Have you ever walked across a balance beam? Or maybe across a log over water? It requires a lot of focus to remain balanced as you’re making your way across those. In the same way it takes a lot of self awareness in life to find that balance as we learn to fine tune our actions, choices, and values.

There are a lot of areas in life that require balance. From our mental, physical, and emotional well being to our social well being. If we can find balance in these areas of life, I think we experience more peace and harmony in our lives, but also it ensures we are living a life that is sustainable. One thing I was talking to some friends about was this idea of bouncing back and forth between being very strict with myself – my exercise and eating habits, and how I spend my time – and being more lax and feeling weary trying to keep up with it all. I think the key is balance. We can’t be perfect 100% of the time. We will have off days, down days, or days we just aren’t as motivated and productive, and that’s okay. I’m learning to fight that tendency towards perfection and lean into what my gut and intuition are guiding me to do! I would love for you to join in this conversation! Let me know down in the comments your thoughts on my thoughts!

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.