Minimalism

BEING PATIENT

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For today’s Thoughtful Thursday I wanted to talk about being patient with people. Being patient with people in general, but also being patient with our spouse, children, or any other housemates when it comes to decluttering. My husband recently helped me go through and declutter items in our garage as some of the things belong to him. I have been wanting to do this decluttering project for quite a while, so I have had to be patient with my husband as I waited for him to have the time and bandwidth to do it. I have to say, I have not always been a very patient person. I am someone who likes results, so I struggle to be patient with the process. I am learning though that there is so much growth and goodness that can happen in the process and in the waiting. 

When it comes to decluttering, I really think we all have our own pace. Whether that is because we don’t have much time to devote to it regularly, or because we are the type who needs to really think through and sit on decisions for a while. I know my husband doesn’t have a lot of time or bandwidth to devote to decluttering because of how demanding his job is, so I have been patient with him with regards to going through his things. I can’t even tell you how many times I have cleaned out our garage for my YouTube channel and mentioned “I will need my husband’s help to declutter more in here.” The only reason I am really starting to push him is because we are talking about downsizing, and I don’t want him to have to go through all of his things in a short period of time. I do feel like it is much more manageable to declutter a little at a time. In the end, this really didn’t take that long. We spent about 30 minutes on two separate weekends to get this done.

It’s not always easy to be patient with our loved ones as they have their own decluttering journey. As I have mentioned so many times before, decluttering muscles are built through practice. Just like we can’t force our loved ones to go to the gym and workout, or do anything for that matter, we can’t force them to declutter. They have to want to do it for themselves. I have found that just by being an example, and my family experiencing the spaces in our home that are more minimal, it has inspired them to start decluttering. We must let it be on their own time.

I find it important to be patient with others with regards to decluttering, but I also find it important to be patient with others in general. This is also something that is not easy. Oftentimes we have our own timeline and we want others to conform to our timeline, but that is just not how it goes. One thing that helps me to be patient with others, especially those closest to me like my husband and kids, is to remember how slow paced I myself can be with making changes in my life. I want others to be patient with me as I grow, learn, and change, so I will offer that same patience. 

I remember when I was younger in my marriage how impatient I would be with my husband (and then later my kids) when we were trying to get out the door. I was raised in such a way that you arrive 5 minutes early or you’re late. My husband is someone who takes his time doing anything. Which is actually a good characteristic. It usually means things are done well and thoroughly, but it can mean he isn’t on time. He has learned this about himself and now knows to shoot for being ready 15 minutes before we actually need to leave. But I used to get so irritated about it. Even if I didn’t express my irritation to him (I am sure I did at times, at least in heavy sighs and eye rolls) I had this bad attitude about it in my heart. At some point I realized that we could be late with my having a bad attitude, or we could be late with me having a good attitude – realizing it is better to protect our relationship and my heart attitude than to be on time somewhere. And, he eventually realized that he had to give himself more time than he thought to get ready. But I share this because my heart changed before his behavior changed, and that was for me how I wanted to show up in the world. I had to learn to be patient.

Being patient with others means recognizing that they are on their own life journey towards growth and change, or perhaps stuck in a cycle of stagnation. But either way, we are not in control of others and their choices. We are only in control of the choices we make. If we keep focusing on doing the right things for ourselves, I think this will inspire those around us. I am sure you have heard that kids do what you do not what you say. I think anyone within our sphere of influence will be affected by our behavior. Hopefully we can be a positive influence to motivate and inspire. But we must be patient as they maneuver through life and make their own decisions.

NO BUY YEAR SEPTEMBER + OCTOBER RECAP

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Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to share how my no buy year has been going. This is actually a recap of September and October since I didn’t share the last Thursday in September. I will say right up front that I have continued to struggle. I briefly mentioned at the end of September that I had another slip up in September and purchased a couple of fall tops. And then in October I purchased a hat. I’m not sure if this is considered clothing or accessories, but I kind of feel like it is! The last few months have been so much more difficult than the first part of the year for sure. Maybe I am losing momentum!

I did want to be fully transparent and tell you I also purchased some clothing items for a costume I wore to a friend’s birthday party in September. I decided halfway through the year that if I needed to purchase clothing for a specific event that I would give myself a pass, but there was part of me that felt bad because I did purchase items for the costume that I would use in the future for more than just the costume. Which makes sense from a minimalist standpoint – for the items to have multiple uses – but it still made me feel like I was cheating or finding a loophole as an excuse to shop.

All of this has me thinking about the future and what I might do moving into 2026. I feel like I still haven’t fully broken my shopping habit, or my mindset around shopping. I feel like I have just been “white-knuckling” it these last couple of months, but I want a true heart change. I don’t just want behavior modification. That is part of why I did this whole no buy year. I thought about doing something crazy and doing ANOTHER no buy year in 2026, but truthfully I just don’t think this is realistic for me. I have been thinking about rules I could set up for myself moving forward. I realized that for the last several months I have purchased one or two things each month. This was still difficult compared to past shopping habits, so I am thinking that I will limit myself to two items per month. Let me know your thoughts or ideas.

Something else I wanted to address is the clothing and accessory items I got sent to me from brands for my YouTube channel. I do really appreciate this and I have been enjoying the items that these brands have sent me, but I realized when choosing which items I want, and receiving the package in the mail was so similar to how I feel when I purchase new things. I’m not saying I will turn down free items in the future, but once again I am just evaluating my heart on how I feel about new things, and I want to be as candid as possible as I feel like this holds me accountable.

Something else I have been thinking about over these last couple of months is the buy/declutter cycle. I know I have shared my thoughts about this in a previous post. It is just something that I am contemplating again. I do think that it is a fine line, and perhaps dangerous line, when we begin to declutter items from our homes. Especially when we get to the point where we are trying to pursue minimalism and getting rid of large quantities of stuff. This could potentially cause us to shop to replace some of the things we have decluttered. It is definitely something to keep in check when we begin a decluttering journey.

I know for myself, a lot of the things I declutter is simply a result of being married for 29 years, raising three kids, and two dogs over the years. I have decluttered items that no longer serve us in this life stage. Although I know some of it is from over consumption, and by this I just mean I have too many things in certain categories for my own personal liking and what I want to have on hand or what I have bandwidth to take care of. I have been honest about my struggles in the past with using shopping for the wrong reasons, and that is exactly why I am doing this no buy year!

The other category of things I declutter quite often is items that I am replacing. I do try to be intentional with when and why I replace items from around our home, but once again I would like to keep myself in check and evaluate if I am just making excuses to shop. I like pondering these things and having these conversations online to help challenge myself to more responsible spending habits!

Okay, that is all I have to share for this week’s thoughts and for this month’s no buy year recap. I hope this was encouraging or inspired you in some way! As always, I like to hear your thoughts on my thoughts so leave me a comment and let me know! 

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.

FIX YOUR EYES ON THE RIGHT THING

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Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday I wanted to talk about a quote I shared over on Instagram earlier this week. The quote says, “sometimes one landmark helps us find our way when we are lost. Even though our location hasn’t changed, things become clear when we fix our eyes on the right thing.” How many of you out there are landmark direction givers? Don’t tell me to turn east here, and then south there! Tell me to turn right by the gas station and left by the Starbucks! It’s so much easier to find your way or remember a route by landmarks.

When we feel lost in life, it is easy to feel overwhelmed. Feeling lost is something I think everyone has felt at some point in life. It can happen after a setback, after a big life change, or even in the middle of success. The things that once gave us a sense of purpose and direction may start to fade, and we are left asking ourselves, what now? When we feel this way, the instinct may be to search frantically for clarity. Just like when you are physically lost you may feel frantic to find something, anything, to grab onto that will guide you back. But the truth is, what if when you feel lost the challenge isn’t to immediately find answers, but instead to just focus on the right things and the answers will emerge organically.

When confusion takes over, we often begin to obsess over what’s missing, what went wrong, or what others seem to have figured out that we don’t. But when we focus on the things that are outside of our control, this only makes us feel more disoriented. The first step to finding your way again is to shift your focus inward – to what you can control. That includes your mindset, your effort, and your willingness to keep moving forward even when the path ahead of you isn’t completely clear.

As a Christian, I find that seeking God through reading the Bible and prayer can help to ground me. Spending time daily with God is non-negotiable for me. The Bible is like a compass for me, and I know if I follow what God instructs in His word then I am on the right track. As I seek God, I find over and over again that the “right thing” really is quite simple: it’s to do the next right thing. Often when we feel lost it is because we are focusing too much on the whole journey or the big picture. Doing the next right thing can really keep you grounded. It could just be the seemingly insignificant daily healthy habits that we can lean into during a time of uncertainty. Like taking care of your body – exercising, eating healthy, and getting good sleep, connecting with friends and loved ones, or returning to or picking up a hobby that could bring joy to your life. These may seem simple or mundane, but these daily habits can provide momentum and lead to some clarity in the long run.

 Perhaps you are not a Christian and the idea of the Bible or prayer doesn’t resonate with you. But even if you don’t have that as a compass, you do have the things you value in life and priorities, which can help serve as a map towards clarity. When you’re lost, it can be easy to confuse direction with identity, but they aren’t the same. You can lose your way without losing yourself. Reflecting on what truly matters can keep you on the course towards clarity – like kindness, honesty, curiosity, compassion, love, or any other thing that you value. When you are living out those values it can keep that momentum going.

In a culture that glorifies constant productivity and certainty in purpose, it can be easy to feel like being lost is a failure. But more likely being lost it is an invitation in life to slow down and listen. Sometimes the right focus is not doing more, but instead being more present. The fog will begin to lift, maybe slowly, maybe VERY slowly, but not because you force it, but because you stop chasing every distraction and learn to trust that clarity will come when you are ready for it!

COMFORTABLY UNCOMFORTABLE ROUTINES

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Hello friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to talk about my everyday routines. Not to enumerate what my routines are – I do have plenty of routine videos on my YouTube channel if you are interested. But more so to talk about how I stick to my routines day in and day out and how I add new healthy habits to my routines. 

So I have a secret I wanted to share with you about how I stick to my routines. I have joked in the past that there is no secret to staying healthy. The truth is there is no MAGIC PILL, there is no easy way out of change and growth other than doing the work day in and day out. BUT, there is a secret to getting it done. That secret is to feel comfortable with the uncomfortable. What I mean by this is that I actually feel uncomfortable when I don’t follow through with my everyday routines. Some routines I even stick to while I’m on vacation! I know that if I don’t drink water and walk first thing in the morning, read my Bible and pray, or exercise each day, it will make me feel uncomfortable. I am only comfortable when I follow through on these uncomfortable routines!

I just recently incorporated walking first thing in the morning, and I have noticed if I don’t do that I don’t sleep as well that night. If I don’t read my Bible and pray, I don’t feel as grounded and it’s more difficult to manage the struggles of life or the emotions I’m experiencing. If I don’t exercise, I am more likely to feel down and unmotivated. Following through on these daily healthy habits becomes easier when you over and over again experience the long term benefits of the routines. This doesn’t mean that I’m perfect. Some days, for whatever reason my routines may get interrupted – whether that is because of vacation, illness, or some extra activities or events in life. But the key is that you get right back to the routines even after they have been interrupted because you are comfortable with the routines.

It is difficult to incorporate a new healthy routine or cut out an unhealthy habit, but that is when you need to press into consistency to get to a place where it feels more comfortable to follow through on the routine than not. THAT is the secret: to get to a place where you are comfortable with the uncomfortable routine.

I have talked before about the idea of a maintenance mindset over a completion mindset. This is the idea that these everyday habits are not something where there is an end goal, but instead these habits are just a part of the maintenance of your life. When we learn to accept that, we are more likely to live in the moment and to just enjoy these routines even if they are uncomfortable or hard. When we have this mindset that these routines help us to learn, grow, and become better versions of ourselves, then it’s easier to enjoy these things fully. Focus on how blessed you are if you are able to walk or workout. If you have clean drinking water. If you are able to read. All of these things are blessings that not everyone in the world can enjoy.

A lot of healthy habits are not easy to do and therefore not easy to maintain, but if we have this mindset that we feel more comfortable when we do these uncomfortable routines, we are more likely to have follow through!

The YouTube video I posted in conjunction with this blog post.

DEALING WITH PERFECTIONISM

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Okay friends, this is the last Thursday of the month and I had been sharing a monthly recap on how my no buy year was going for that month on the last Thursday, however last month I ended up sharing late. I have decided I will wait until the last Thursday in October to recap and then we will be back on track for sharing the last week of the month! But, I will share a teaser and say I am still really struggling. And because of that I wanted to talk about an adjacent topic this week – perfectionism. I am sure I have talked about the topic of perfectionism before. If not the main topic, I know I have talked about my struggles with perfectionism and how I really like to call myself a recovering perfectionist because I have been a lot better over the past several years at giving myself grace when I’m not as disciplined as I would have liked to have been.

Over the years I have shared here on my YouTube channel a variety of different challenges I have put myself up to. I actually used to have a series on my channel where each month I chose a different challenge and shared my thoughts on how the challenge went. I think challenging myself outside of my comfort zone is a good thing. And some of the challenges have led to some long term healthy habits. But these challenges, like the no buy year, I think can lend itself to falling back into the perfectionism trap. While I think challenges can be good for setting a framework for eliminating bad habits or incorporating new good habits, it can also cause me to focus too much on behavior. What I mean by this is that sometimes just changing behavior isn’t enough. Changing the behavior doesn’t necessarily mean a change in my heart. Choosing to do the no buy year for me isn’t necessarily just about saving money, although that is a really nice side effect and I think it’s always good to be intentional with how I am spending. For me, it was more about changing my heart posture towards stuff. I don’t want stuff to be so important to me. The important things in life are relationships, experiences, and striving to make a difference in this world somehow.

Yes, it’s good to change the behavior, but the last part of this no buy year I want to focus on changing my heart posture. By just focusing on changing the behavior, that puts me back into a perfectionist mentality, where I am WORKING so hard to just do the right thing. I have struggled with this throughout my life. Just striving and striving and never feeling enough. But I really feel I have turned a corner with that over the last few years, like I mentioned, giving myself more grace, realizing I am human and I can’t always be perfect, realizing I am ENOUGH.

There is this verse in the Bible in Romans 7:15 that says, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” In that passage it goes on to say that basically we all have that struggle because we all are not perfect. I try to remind myself that everyone struggles with this very thing. We all struggle to consistently do the things that are healthy for us and not do the things that are not healthy for us! All it means is that I am human.

Lately because of the lovely stage of life I am in… good ole’ perimenopause, which is causing my hormones to be out of whack, which is causing me to feel out of whack, I have really been trying to focus on healthy habits. I have been walking every morning first thing – moving, getting sunlight, I have been lifting weights, taking all the supplements, eating all the protein, staying away from sugar and alcohol. Doing ALL THE THINGS. And some days I still don’t feel myself. I have really been struggling more lately with this perfectionist mentality where I feel like I have to do ALL THE THINGS, EVERY DAY! I am trying to leave room for grace, but it has been a struggle. So, if you are struggling – with perfectionism, with messed up hormones, with no motivation, with giving in to your temptations because you feel like you cannot do it all ONE MORE DAY… you are not alone!

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.

NO BUY YEAR AUGUST RECAP

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For today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to share with you how my no buy year has been going for my August recap. I know I am a bit late in sharing my August recap! The short story is I failed AGAIN! Y’all. For whatever reason it is really hard to go 365 days without buying any clothes! Once again my failure was with clothing. This is solidifying the fact that my biggest struggle when it comes to shopping is clothing. I did purchase 2 pairs of jeans, once again because they were on sale and once again 2 pairs in order to get free shipping!! Tell me, do you add more items to get free shipping or is it just me?? The other thing I purchased, which honestly can’t decide if it’s a fail, is a new pair of shoes that I can wear in the water. The water sandals that I had I recently wore to a water park all day and I had horrible blisters. I think it’s because I have had them for so long the material, which is like a shoe string type material, got messed up to where I couldn’t un-tighten the string material from the bottom of the sandals. So, really I am just replacing something that was worn out.

The good news is that I have become more self aware with my feelings or state of mind when I was tempted to buy something. I talked about this last month, but once again I purchased those jeans when I was feeling down, basically like I needed a dopamine hit. I guess I am still struggling to turn to more positive avenues to get that dopamine. I am working on more positive habits to raise my overall mood. Mid-way through August I decided to start walking first thing in the morning before my morning coffee to get my blood flowing and to get sun on my face first thing. I do feel like it is generally helping with my mood! I am trying to give myself grace though. After these 2 more items, that comes to a total of 6 items for the year! That is less than one item of clothing per month! Even if you count the sandals, bringing it to 7 items, that is still less than one item per month. Speaking of the sandals, the difference I could tell with the sandals versus the jeans is that I didn’t do it to get a dopamine hit to feel better. I purchased them to replace something that was no longer working for me. This is why I’m on the fence as to whether the sandals constituted a fail.

Okay, now let’s move on to talking about the wins this month! I always decorate for fall at the end of August, so I have already decorated for fall and I did not purchase any new fall decor! Not even a candle! When I was decorating my fall porch, I really could have purchased a new door mat because ours is not in great shape. And the layering mat under our door mat is really no longer my style, but I decided to go with it anyway and not purchase anything new. In addition to that, I really could use some sort of greenery or foliage for the large planter on our front porch, but once again I made what we had work!

I was not at all tempted to purchase new home decor for the inside of our home, however I did contemplate buying a fall candle because I currently only have two scented candles and neither one is a fall scent. I decided to just use the one I got last year for Christmas and I will leave it out all fall and then into the holiday season. If I burn it out before the holiday season is over I will purchase another one.

There was something I wanted to chat about concerning this topic of fall decor and fall candles. There is nothing wrong with buying new decor for fall, BUT I did want to encourage you that you don’t HAVE to buy new decor and candles for fall! I feel like being exposed to social media and influencers, we are sold this idea that in order to get into the fall vibes we must purchase new things. Like part of getting into the fall feelings is going out and shopping. Experiencing fall doesn’t have to include shopping. Bringing fall feelings into our home can come through styling the fall decor we already have on hand, burning candles, baking fall treats, wrapping up in a cozy blanket in the evening with low lights on, or making yourself a fall inspired drink. Some YouTube videos or Instagram Reels that are fall inspired are centered around shopping, so I just wanted to remind you that those fall feelings can come from other sources than shopping! I have found that I have had to get more creative with what I already have on hand, and to me that is more fun!

Well friends, that is all I have to share for this Thoughtful Thursday! I hope it was encouraging or inspiring! I always like to hear your thoughts on my thoughts, so let me know down in the comments!

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.

HONOR YOUR LIMITS

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Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday topic I wanted to talk about honoring your limits. I think this is something that is very difficult to do these days. It’s so easy to over-schedule or just spend more time than intended on scrolling or binge watching media.

For those of you who don’t know, I do have a YouTube channel and I always share these thoughts over on my channel in a video. I coincidentally had it on my schedule to share on this topic prior to filming the “day in the life” video I shared this week, but it turned out to be such an appropriate topic on this day. I had a lot that I needed to get done on this day, so I actually didn’t film a lot of active things. I just had a lot of chatty footage. I had planned on cleaning out my laundry room on this day so I would have more cleaning motivation other than the few clips cleaning my dining and living rooms, but I honored my limits and scratched the laundry room off my to-do list for the day!

We all have our limits. Each of us has a different bandwidth to manage responsibilities in life. Some of us need more down time and margin in life, and others can go, go, go! I think it can be difficult sometimes for those of us who have less bandwidth in this age of social media and seeing what other people are doing with their lives and their time. But honestly, so often what we see on social media is curated and may not be the full picture. We must honor our limits so we don’t risk getting burnt out.

I do think there are times we need to and can push ourselves a little more than usual, as long as we can schedule in rest afterwards. There are times where we have to push because of extenuating circumstances, like going on vacation, celebrating birthdays or other holidays, moving, or other situations that are not our usual day to day. The day I filmed this DITL was especially busy for me because the next day I was going to take the day off to go with my girlfriends to a mineral springs spa near Austin, so I wouldn’t be able to get any work done that day. Honestly, this whole week was busy as I was also trying to catch up after being down a couple of days for my routine colonoscopy a couple weeks ago.

This was taken at the Mineral Springs Spa my girlfriends and I went to! Ottine Mineral Springs.

We all have physical limits, and must pay attention to our bodies’ cues to slow down. But we also have relational and emotional limits as well. If you are someone who is an introvert, you will need more time alone to recharge, and that is okay! But you need to honor those limits and realize when you need to recharge. For some people, they can manage several friendships and relationships in general, while others feel more comfortable with just a few close friends. Once again, that is okay! 

Something similar to managing relationships is honoring your emotional bandwidth. Just like some of us have a bigger capacity to manage relationships, some of us have a bigger capacity to manage emotional input. If you find yourself constantly drained by certain people, content, or any input in general, you need to evaluate that to determine if it is something that is pushing your emotional limits. It’s okay to step back or even away from a relationship for a time if that person is taking too much of your emotional energy. It’s okay to unfollow and quit watching content that drains you emotionally. It is not always easy to determine if someone or something is too much for you emotionally, but we must be aware of our emotional bandwidth.

We all have daily responsibilities as adults, so we must evaluate those responsibilities. Are there things that are not as important or urgent that you can eliminate from your list on a given day that you don’t feel you have the bandwidth to carry out? Or can you delegate some of your responsibilities to someone else? Can your spouse, children, or a friend help you with something that needs to get done? I have found it helpful for me to structure my day with the non-negotiables at the front part of the day, then if I still have energy and time I will tackle some of those other things on the list.

It’s not always easy to honor our limits, but in the long run it is good to be aware of our limits and do what we can to honor them. Since I was honoring my own limits and didn’t film that laundry room clean, the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this post is pretty chatty! So if you like that type of content like you’re on a Facetime call with me, go check out that video {{linked above}}! And at the end of that video I share some footage from my day at the mineral springs spa!

THE BENEFITS OF SLOW DECLUTTERING

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For today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to talk about something that might not be a popular or trending idea with regards to decluttering. I wanted to encourage you that it is okay to declutter slowly, over time. It seems in the decluttering genre online, there is a lot of content around decluttering quickly. I see titles like “I decluttered 90% of my possessions in one day.” Or “Follow these easy steps to declutter quickly.” I think it is common in our culture today to want things done quickly and easily, but the most lasting and sustainable results will come from putting in the work. There is no magic pill, no shortcuts! You have to put in the reps!

There are several reasons why I think decluttering slowly could be more beneficial than decluttering quickly. The first reason is just a practical one: time. We all only have so much time in a day. Many of us have full and busy lives and don’t have large chunks of time to set aside to declutter. It is much easier to declutter a little bit at a time. If we just set aside even 10-15 minutes a week to declutter, we are more likely to get it done because that feels more manageable than spending half the day decluttering.

Another reason it is good to declutter slowly is the reality of decision fatigue. Just like we only have so much time in a day, we each only have so much brain bandwidth to make decisions. I’m sure we have all experienced days where we were exhausted just from all the little decisions (or big ones) we were making all day long. When decluttering a lot of items at once, that is obviously a lot of decisions. At some point we reach a place where our decisions aren’t as clear or confident as they were at the beginning of the day. When we declutter a little at a time, we give our brains time to rest. 

Adjacent to this idea that our decisions might not be as sharp when we declutter quickly is we are less likely to replace the stuff we decluttered when we declutter slowly. Our decisions are more informed and it gives us time to really determine what we are loving and using. Sometimes when we declutter quickly, we have regrets about some of the things we let go of and then we want to replace them. Not only is this is a waste of money, but also is not eco-friendly as some of those items may have ended up in a landfill. On the other hand, we may just feel the need to fill up our spaces when we declutter a lot at once. It can be a shock to go from having a lot of possessions to little possessions, and this could fuel a desire to purchase more.

Lastly, decluttering slowly builds decluttering muscles in a more sustainable way so that regular decluttering becomes a habit. Decluttering slowly gives you time to really learn the skill of decluttering. It gives you time to evaluate what you really use and love.

Don’t get me wrong, I think there is a place for decluttering large quantities at once. Maybe you are moving and need to declutter a lot at once, maybe a loved one has passed away and you need to go through their things and declutter a lot. My point here is that for the average home, it might serve you better to declutter slowly over time.

If you follow me on YouTube, you might have noticed I KEEP DECLUTTERING on my channel. I really thought I had gotten to a good homeostasis point, but I realize it is just because I am decluttering slowly that I am still going. Even with doing a no buy year and bringing less into my home this year, I am still finding things to declutter. I’m finding things over time that I realize I thought I used or I thought I really loved, but in reality I don’t. I have kind of wondered if maybe not bringing things into my home has given me the time, brain bandwidth, and awareness of my stuff to make more ruthless decisions! This is also a reminder that it may take several passes in each area of your home, so keep decluttering!

The video I shared on YouTube in conjunction with this blog post.

NO BUY YEAR JULY RECAP

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Okay friends, this is the last Thursday of the month, so that means I’m sharing my thoughts on how my no buy year has been going so far and for this month. I didn’t share a post in June because things were just kind of going along smoothly and there really wasn’t much to share. I think it helped that I had two get-aways during that month – one to celebrate my husband’s birthday and then another to visit friends in Tucson, and so I think I was distracted from being tempted by buying things. With that said, I will say right up front that I failed AGAIN this month! I will share more about the details and also talk about why I think this month was so hard for me.

I shared in May that I purchased a couple items of clothing, so I felt like I failed in May. Although I was able to somewhat make the excuse that I purchased the items for my trip to Tucson. I didn’t have a caveat for trips in my rules because I didn’t even know I was going to plan that trip. Well, once again I purchased a couple of items of clothing. One was a skirt that was very similar to a skirt I borrowed from my daughter and really loved! And I decided to purchase a second item to get free shipping – now that’s just being wise with my money right?? But the only justification I have for this purchase is that the skirt was on sale and that really got me. Also, I purchased it from a boutique where they don’t restock items. Once they sell out it’s gone. I knew I would like it because I loved my daughter’s skirt. But I still consider this a fail for me for this month. I will say, the further I get into the year, the more difficult it becomes to stick to my rules.

I don’t want to make excuses as to why I cheated this month. I will take full ownership that I failed. One lesson I have learned in life (that is still hard for me as a recovering perfectionist) is that failure isn’t all that bad. Failure leads to learning and growth, that is if we allow it to. I always like to evaluate my failures so I can make better choices moving forward and so I can see the lesson in it. This month has been tough for me. There have been lots of changes happening, most of them are good changes but it’s difficult for me to deal with change. I have backed off on posting on YouTube as I have decided to pursue growing my organizing business again, and while this is a good thing, it is a change. There are a couple of other things going on in my personal life that are also creating changes, but again all good things! With these changes, it has caused my anxiety to spike and my overthinking and rumination to move into high gear. As I have mentioned before, shopping is definitely one of those vices I run to when I am feeling stressed. All month long I have struggled with looking at clothes online – walking right into the place of temptation – instead of choosing healthier ways to handle my stress. So the lesson learned is that I need to not mindlessly do things, but to be aware of when I am feeling that stress, or at least aware when I am starting to run back to familiar places for comfort.

One of the reasons I did a no buy year was in order to really deal with this habit I have of shopping to feel better or to alleviate stress. So I must be more on guard and aware of those moments so I can choose a healthier option for dealing with my stress. This is a difficult thing for me because I do tend towards perfectionism… can we really always make good and healthy choices, or is there a balance in there? Let me know your input down in the comments.

I did want to share a win with you today! Last week I went into Home Goods to look for some coffee syrup. Random side note here, but this is a great place to find coffee syrups at a discounted price! But I noticed while I was there, that I was not at all tempted to look through home decor, blankets, or pillows. While in the past I might have been tempted to look, this time I was not and it was quite the contrary… instead I really was repulsed by the idea of bringing more things home. I don’t know why I don’t feel this way about clothes yet! Make it make sense! BUT, back to my trip to Home Goods. I was browsing through the food, and then I went to the section with organizing tools, just to see what kinds of things are available in case this is somewhere I might want to shop for clients. This was on a Sunday, so the place was packed. People everywhere pushing carts full of stuff. I couldn’t help but feel like I had taken the proverbial “red pill” (IYKYK) and was aware of the truth. The truth that none of this stuff would make you happy. As a matter of fact, once you walk away with your purchase the dopamine hit is done. Did you know that dopamine is released during the actual shopping part – it’s the thrill of the hunt, which is human nature. But shopping is short-form dopamine, meaning that up feeling won’t last long. And then you are left with this item or these items that you now need to take care of – clean, organize, and maybe one day make a decision about decluttering it. It’s a silly cycle that happens if you think about it. You want that dopamine rush so you shop, but once you purchase it and bring it home that rush is over, then you declutter to make space for more stuff. I want off this crazy merry-go-round! Not that I will never buy things again, but it’s just good to be aware of all of this! And we work hard to make this money that we are basically using to buy stuff that we often don’t need and it creates more work for us!

Okay my friends, that is all I have to share for this month’s no buy year recap. As always, I love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts so let me know down in the comments.

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.

QUIT MAKING EXCUSES

/ OrganizedWithJoy / Leave a comment

Hey friends! I know it’s been a while since I posted here! Life has been busy, and it is just now slowing down! For today’s Thoughtful Thursday topic I wanted to encourage you to quit making excuses. Please know that when I tackle topics like this that sound a little judgy – I am talking to myself too. I have said this before: these posts are just as much to encourage me as it is to encourage you!

I think it is human nature to make excuses for why we don’t do certain things or why we do certain things in life. It helps us to feel better about ourselves and our choices. We rationalize to comfort us when we fall short, and to protect our egos from failure. But one thing I have noticed for myself is that it can be helpful to be an observer of your thoughts (or even what you say) to really determine if you truly are living authentically, or if you are just making excuses to not do things that could help you to learn and grow. I’ll give you an example. I want to read more. I have been wanting to read more for years. Yet when I talk to people about wanting to read more, I tend to immediately make excuses for why I don’t read more. I blame my high energy and how it’s hard for me to sit still, my perimenopause induced ADHD which causes a lack of focus, or how I feel unproductive when I just sit and read. The truth is, I lack the discipline to make reading a more regular part of my routines. It would be one thing if I just accepted that I don’t have the discipline, but instead I make excuses so I don’t feel bad about myself.

Excuses often stem from fear – fear of failure, fear of judgement, or fear of change. When someone says, “I don’t have time to do this or that” what they actually mean is that they don’t want to prioritize it. When someone says, “I’m just not good at this or that” they really mean they don’t want to put in the effort to try that thing and/or they don’t want to risk failure. Excuses can come from a place of victim mentality. We may believe that our circumstances dictate our success or failure. While it’s true that we may have challenges or injustices in our lives, blaming others or our circumstances strips us of our autonomy and the belief that we have the power to change our circumstances.

Making excuses may protect our ego in the short term, but in the long term it sabotages our goals. Excuses prevent us from learning and growing. It can also diminish our self respect. Deep down we may know that we are not being authentic. This inner conflict can lead to anxiety, low self esteem, and lack of motivation. The more someone hides behind excuses, the more they drift from who they truly want to be. When we choose to quit making excuses, it doesn’t deny that life can be hard or that things are not always in your control. It means that while you can’t control everything, you can control your response to things. Taking responsibility instead of making excuses shifts the focus to what you can do instead of what you can’t do.

I have said this phrase so many times: you choose your hard. We often make excuses for why we are not doing the hard thing. But doing the hard thing up front makes the long term easier or at least more enjoyable. Often it’s when we don’t do the hard thing and we make excuses as to why we are not doing the hard thing, that later things actually become more difficult.

Excuses are easy, but progress is hard. If you want to live a life of purpose, achievement, and growth you have to quit making excuses. Stop blaming, stop delaying, and stop doubting. Take responsibility for your choices, your mindset, and your future. It’s not always comfortable, but it’s always worth it. Because the moment you stop making excuses is the moment you start making progress.

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.