Minimalism

THE BUY/DECLUTTER CYCLE

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I recently heard an interview between Cass from the YouTube channel The Clutterbug and Peter Walsh, long time decluttering and minimalism guru. If you don’t know who he is, definitely check him out! He hosted a show called Clean Sweep which aired in the early 2000’s and he has a more recent show, Space Invaders. I wanted to share a few points that really resonated with me while listening to this podcast. The overarching theme for this podcast was the idea that we don’t have a decluttering problem as much as we have a consumerism problem. I have known this to be true for myself for a while now. I have done many no buy months over the past decade and did a no buy year in 2019 and then again in 2025. I have talked about the buy/declutter cycle before, so I am well aware of this truth that the problem is consumerism. It was a good reminder and Peter laid it out there and didn’t sugar coat anything, which I appreciated!

The other thought that came to me while I was listening to this podcast is that I feel like I’m not as disciplined as others perceive me to be. This thought came to me with regards to not having the discipline to stick with my shopping boundaries I set up for this year. I shared everything I have bought over the past 6 weeks over on my YouTube channel and I feel slightly embarrassed because I find it to be excessive! My goal was to not purchase more than 3 items of clothing each month, but in February I ended up purchasing 6 items, and 7 if we are going to count a baseball cap. And in March I also purchased 7 items! But I wanted to share because I never want to be inauthentic and come across as more disciplined than I actually am! I know that I tend to be hard on myself and those areas in which I’m disciplined I now view as just normal everyday habits. But I recognize why others see it as discipline. The point I wanted to make is that we all have our struggles, and I don’t want anyone to view me from a skewed perspective. I want to be real with what I share online and show that I’m not always disciplined in every area of my life! I will share some outfits I wore on my recent trip to Vegas, some of the items were items I purchased recently.

Something else that really hit me was when Peter quoted the Bible “thou shall not covet.” I feel like there are some sins that are just acceptable. At least culturally acceptable and this is one of them. When we want what other people have, that is coveting. Unfortunately that is just the influencer culture these days, which is so prevalent. It is an influencer’s goal to get you to covet what they have so that you purchase what they have and then they get a cut of the price you pay. To be honest that doesn’t sit fully well with me given I do have an audience. I want to be mindful of this as I promote brands. 

But with that said, Peter also suggested he didn’t think everyone should become monastic. This also resonated with me. I need to find a way to balance! He was not claiming everyone should quit buying things all together. We just must learn to be intentional with our purchases as it is so easy now to purchase things. We are constantly getting exposed to ads, and you can purchase things with just one click if you can access your credit card through your phone. It is definitely about finding balance.

Listening to this podcast reminded me that I want to get to a place where I don’t want things to come into my home. Most areas I have achieved that, but not with clothing! So it is just an area that I need to continue to be aware of and more intentional with what I bring in.

The YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.

FEELING UNINSPIRED AND OUT OF TOUCH

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As I sit here staring at a blank screen and blinking cursor, I’m wondering how creatives deal with feeling uninspired. I like to stay consistent and bring you content every week, and share something meaningful for my Thoughtful Thursday series, but the reality is sometimes I’m feeling uninspired.

A friend shared a Jim Rohn quote with me recently and I shared that quote on Instagram. It says, “If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.” And when I shared this quote I was thinking it would be a great topic to share on Thursday. But the truth is, I’m wondering if I’m not the best person to deliver this message. I felt uninspired because I was feeling like a fraud. I was feeling like someone who is out of touch with what most people experience day to day. Let me explain.

I do agree with this quote 100%! I think a lot of people make excuses for their choices in life. They say they don’t have the time or the money to do certain things. To get in shape, to eat healthy, to get out of debt, to travel… and many more examples. I think the reality is, it’s about priorities more than it is about what we can or can’t do. We all have different values and priorities. Instead of saying I don’t have the time to do X, Y, Z we should be saying that is not something I value so I’m not prioritizing that in my life right now.

I hesitated to share this message because I am at a unique place in life right now. I recognize that I have more time margin and probably more disposable income than the average person in America. This makes it easier for me to prioritize things that other people who have to allocate their time towards work or taking care of young kids could not. I feel like because of this, it’s hard for me to deliver this message. I feel like I would be met with, but you don’t know what MY situation is like. And that is true. I will say this is just a snapshot of my life right now – a small snapshot compared to my 51 years of life. I have definitely experienced busier seasons in life, but even in those seasons I was able to prioritize what was important to me.

Exercise is a great example. This is something that I have always prioritized. I started running when I was 11 years old and basically prioritized health and fitness ever since. Through my college years, through 3 pregnancies, even in the busiest season in my life with all three of my kids in school and after school activities while I was working a part time job and dedicating time towards volunteering with two non for profit organizations! If you really want to do something, you will find a way!

One thing this quote made me evaluate is how I am actually spending my time and money. If you have been around long enough, you know I am someone who is regularly evaluating my behavior and my habits and determining if there are things I need to do differently. This quote reminded me that any time I think or say “I don’t have time for…” or “I don’t have money for…” what I really need to say is that I am not prioritizing that thing. If that makes me feel uncomfortable, then I want to reevaluate my priorities and values. An easy way to determine this is to look at your bank statement. That will quickly show you what you value. You could keep a log or to-do list of what you get done each day, this will also give you a picture of your values and priorities.

I didn’t want to sound harsh, insensitive, or out of touch when sharing this with you, but I will remind you that often I share these messages just as much for me as for you! I’m challenging myself, along with you, to start rephrasing when you don’t want to do something by saying, “I don’t prioritize that” or “I don’t value that.” If it makes us uncomfortable, then we need to evaluate our priorities!

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.

DECLUTTERING EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE

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While decorating my home for spring I was really surprised to realize how much home decor I have decluttered over the last several years. It felt so much more simple to switch my decor into this new season. In the past I had felt completely overwhelmed by my decor and trying to decide what to put out each season. I now have a curated collection and have distinct pieces for each season, making it a lot less overwhelming to decorate.

As I have really made great progress on my decluttering journey, especially over the last couple of years, I feel lighter and my spaces are feeling more manageable. Especially now after my no buy year and being more intentional with what comes into my home. When we get our physical spaces simplified, it leaves room and time for our mental and emotional spaces. I am beginning to realize that simply removing physical clutter isn’t enough for mental health. We also need to declutter emotional baggage, toxic patterns of thinking, and unhealthy dynamics in our relationships. Getting all of the physical clutter out of the way just made the space for more clarity in my life in general. 

Before I really tackle my emotional and mental clutter, I know there is still some physical clutter I need to deal with, perhaps related to that emotional and mental clutter, specifically sentimental items. I have gotten rid of some sentimental items over the years, but I am now in a place where I’m really feeling ready to tackle some things that I previously felt like I didn’t want to deal with. Some of it is physical, but even the sentimental digital clutter can hold us back. One specific thing I did this week, which I have been wanting to do for a while, was to fully delete my TikTok account. Truthfully I have not used it in a couple of years, but I just left the content sitting there. At the beginning of this year I really felt like I was supposed to completely delete it, but I was having a hard time because of all of the content I had shared there. I know that I could download the content and keep it archived for myself, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized the majority of the content I shared on that platform was from a different time in my life. I used that space to process some of my emotions and feelings, without sharing personal details of my life. I really feel like that chapter is coming to a close and I’m on the horizon of a new chapter in life. I felt like by deleting that account, I made space for the new to enter.

Life transitions can be difficult. Sometimes when we go through new seasons, we feel like we are losing something or things. But, we can look at it in a different way and see what we are gaining instead. We must let go of the old to make room for the new. Letting go of those TikTok videos for me was a tangible way of opening up the possibility for the new. 

I do have other physical sentimental clutter that I would like to go through this year. I know for sure one thing I need to tackle is my photos! I have a lot of physical photo negatives that I would like to convert into digital photos. I have just started to look into that, so if you have any suggestions or websites that you know of, please let me know! I also have some sentimental items in my attic space that I have just not wanted to go through, but I am feeling it is time! Once we master decluttering our physical spaces, it becomes easier to declutter our emotional and mental clutter as well. Arguably it is much more challenging, but we slowly build our decluttering muscles as we declutter physical things, giving us that strength to tackle more difficult things!

This is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post!

LESSONS FROM A DECLUTTERING CHALLENGE

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Last month I played the minimalism game. If you’re not familiar with it, you can look it up, but ultimately in this 30 day challenge you declutter 465 items from your home! I have played this game a few other times before. Each time I have doubted if I would be able to successfully complete the challenge, and each time after that I have even more doubts as I have less in my home to declutter! This last time I was sure I wouldn’t be able to meet the goal of 465 items and technically I did not just because of the way I counted items. Sometimes I would have multiple of one type of item and I would count that as one or as a “lot,” so I do give myself grace. The way I was counting, in the end I had 405 items to declutter from my home! Although I didn’t technically meet the 465 items, I was still shocked at how much I was able to let go. I did have my daughter helping me with the challenge. Our 29 year old daughter is currently living with us as she completes grad school, so any items she decluttered I counted toward the final number. I was okay counting her things too because they are still leaving my home and one intention I have in 2026 is to help my family members get serious about decluttering their things as well.

I wanted to share what I learned from this last round of the minimalism game. First, I learned that when you’re on the fence about something, typically that means that ultimately you don’t really love it enough to keep it. Quite a lot of the items in this round were items that I have been on the fence about, either for a long time or even just recently. I didn’t really love them, but I also had space for them so I wasn’t letting them go. I know that if I hold onto them they will not be used most of the time. If I pass them along, someone can enjoy them more regularly than they were getting used by me. I did pass some items along to my friends, and that made me feel better about letting them go, knowing they would be used and loved by others. Having this goal from the game really pushed me to be realistic about how often I am using certain items.

I also learned that little by little I am getting closer to my goal of becoming more of a minimalist. I know that term has a lot of stigmas attached to it, so I will explain what it means to me. It means making each of my spaces – even in my cabinets and drawers – feeling like the stuff is easy to manage, but also still feel cozy and inviting. My living room is my plumb line for me, so to speak. I absolutely love how that room feels. It feels so relaxing because I know I use and/or love everything that is in that room. It is easy to clean, and even to deep clean now that it is minimized. The last time I deep cleaned, top to bottom, it took me about 30 minutes. My goal is for every space in my home to feel that way! I feel like I am truly getting there. But I do live with other people, so they have stuff that I may not keep but I have to respect what they want since we share the space.

Next, I learned that we still have more stuff than I think we do! If I was able to get rid of 405 items in 30 days? Clearly we still have a lot of stuff! Now to be fair, we have been married for almost 30 years and we have raised 3 kids and 2 dogs! But I was surprised that I was able to find that much to declutter! I know that it will help tremendously moving forward just being more intentional about what comes into our home. I think sometimes people underestimate that slowing the inflow will have a huge impact on the amount of clutter in your home!

Speaking of inflow, lastly I learned the importance of managing inflow. You may know that I did a no buy year last year. That was specifically for clothes, shoes, accessories, and home decor as these are the categories that seem to multiply quickly if I’m not paying attention. In 2026 I am being far more intentional with my purchases and only allowing myself to purchase a maximum of 3 items in these categories each month. Having these boundaries I think will really help me to stay honest and not slide down a slippery slope. I do want to share with you each month what I do purchase to hold myself accountable! So in January I did purchase a pair of shoes. It is another pair of tennis shoes… I know, I know… I have a lot of tennis shoes! But I do primarily wear athletic shoes and I did declutter a few pairs of shoes in general in my most recent closet clean out. I also purchased a pair of pillow shams that match the lighter side of my bedroom comforter. I really wanted to purchase a new comforter and rug for my bedroom but I decided I don’t really need that. A compromise was to purchase these shams and flip my comforter over!

It felt so good to get that amount of stuff out of my home, so I am very glad I challenged myself to play the minimalism game once again! I hope these lessons are helpful to you on your own decluttering journey!

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.

REASONS TO DECLUTTER

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Having extra stuff in our lives, in our spaces, causes anxiety. Everyday when we walk into our spaces, we must process what’s going on. All five senses are engaged to subconsciously make sense of our surroundings. I think this is true for everyone to a degree, but this is particularly true for people who have been through trauma. Our spaces can be a sanctuary – a safe haven, or they can be a place of chaos, causing unrest in our minds and bodies, which causes anxiety. This was my initial main reason I began my own decluttering journey. To create tranquil spaces in every corner of my home. Spaces that calmed my nervous system, not triggered it.

I have been actively working on decluttering my home for over 10 years now. I have seen a progression in why I choose to declutter. At first it was to calm my spaces. Every room in my home was overcrowded with stuff. I disguised it as coziness, but the truth was it was just clutter. As I continued on this journey, I realized that having less physical possessions gave me extra time to do other things. I wasn’t spending as much time cleaning and organizing my spaces. Having less possessions gave me mental clarity. I began to declutter more because I saw the value in having more time and mental clarity. I could be more intentional with my life.

Down the road, I began to realize the buy/declutter cycle. As I continued my decluttering journey, I saw the value in being more intentional with what I brought into my home. I realized that the impact of all of my decluttering wouldn’t be sustained if I kept bringing new possessions into my home. That’s when I did my first no buy year, back in 2019. I had changed my spending habits after that year, but slowly old habits began to creep back in and in 2025 I decided to do another no buy year to reset my spending habits. I am hopeful as I look towards the future as I feel this had a big impact on me. As we become more intentional with our spending, we begin to see how much money we can save just by eliminating some spending which allows for freedom!

Now I see a new phase on my horizon. I see another reason to continue the decluttering process. I am realizing as I look around my home that I have a lot of things that I use, but I don’t use often. I am realizing that it is selfish of me to hang on to things I don’t use often because these things could bring someone else joy! On one of my recent YouTube videos, a loyal subscribers Jenny, made a comment which really resonated with me. It was a video where I was cleaning out my husband’s office. I had several things that I got rid of that day that I had been debating for a while and I also had a piece of home decor that I decided to display instead of leaving in the closet. She said, “it’s poor stewardship to hold on to something that you don’t use or display when someone else would be grateful to have and enjoy it now.” That really stuck me, and challenged me in a good way! I have upped my decluttering progress to the next level with this idea in mind! I need to be realistic with myself of how often I will really use items.

This month in January I am playing the minimalism game – where you get rid of one thing on day one, two things on day two and so on. I’m not being strict about sticking with the number of items each day. I am just collecting things as I see them and I’m hopeful that I will reach that 465 items number by the end of the month! I know this seems lofty, and even I’m not totally confident in my ability to succeed at this challenge, but check out my YouTube channel at the end of the month to see if I was successful! I will be sharing the process over there. I always have my YouTube channel linked at the bottom of each post. That video will be out the last Sunday of the month.

We all declutter differently. We declutter at a different pace and the amount we own and are willing to let go is different. But with this in mind, I think the best piece of decluttering advice I could give is to know why you are decluttering. Knowing your why can help motivate you to keep making a part of your routines. Can you relate to wanting to calm your space? Maybe you want to save money, or just be more financially responsible. Or perhaps you realize that you can bless others with the items you don’t use as often. Whatever the reason, it is good to know your why! Decluttering can be exhausting, both physically and emotionally. But it is so worth it in the end!

This is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.

MY NEW YEAR’S GOALS

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There is something so satisfying about a fresh start. The new year is a great time to think about fresh starts. The new year is an organic fresh start. It seems silly that one day to the next could mark the beginning of something new or different, but the calendar changes to mark a new year, which can be a great time for new beginnings. That is why so many people make new year’s resolutions.

The last few years I have incorporated new habits and really pushed myself outside of my comfort zone.  Two years ago in 2024 I decided to focus on travel and that year I took several trips. Including a solo road trip! Last year I ended up taking several trips as well, and moving into 2026 I already have 4 trips in the works! At the end of 2024 I started a new habit of lifting weights at the gym, and now nearly a year and half later it has become part of my weekly routine. In 2025 I wanted to focus on reading and walking more. Both of these habits I have successfully incorporated into my routines. If you have been around, you know I also did a no buy year in 2025. I was not fully successful, but I made huge strides with my spending habits and I know this will carry over into my future.

I wanted to talk about what I want to do now that my no buy year is over. I definitely want to be more intentional with my spending. The one practical rule that I decided to make for myself is that I can’t purchase more than 3 items each month. This will include items for events or trips. I really wanted to put some boundaries on myself so I don’t slip back into old habits. Something else I am thinking about doing is getting coffee out less often and choosing local coffee spots if I do get coffee out. I honestly don’t get coffee out that often. I only allow myself once a week unless I am traveling. But I definitely want to start trying out more local coffee places instead of getting Starbucks.

In 2026 the main thing I want to focus on is less entertainment. Throughout this year I have been working on “mono-tasking” more often. Not always listening to music, podcasts, YouTube videos, or Marco Polos while I’m doing other simple tasks. I’ve been working on focusing on one task at a time in order to be more present in each thing I am doing. In my paper planner there was space to plan out my year – my goals, values, and priorities. I actually purchased the exact same planner for 2026 because it helped me to stay on track. In this planner there is a space to write a word for the year. I decided my word would be “focus.” I feel like at this time of my life it is easy to lose focus. Not only am I dealing with the effects of perimenopause, including struggling to stay focused mentally, but I also have more margin in my life and it can be easy to fill up the margin with things that don’t make a difference ultimately. I don’t want to keep feeling like I’m wasting my life.

Recently I watched a really great video from Ryan Holiday. I really love his content. It is very inspiring. He does a great job of sharing ideas that come from the Stoics in a really relatable and digestible way. He talked about this idea, which came from the Stoics – Memento mori. This is a Latin phrase which means “remember you must die.” I know, I know, this is rather morbid. But it also is so true, and something I think most of us don’t really want to think about. But the idea is if we do “remember that we must die,” we may be more intentional with our time. I feel like I am a work in progress with regards to truly living intentionally, but hearing this phrase ignited in me a new resolve to truly pay attention to everything that I am doing with my time. I know I won’t be perfect and there will surely be times when I don’t feel well – either physically or emotionally making it more difficult to do meaningful things. But my point is that I can more regularly focus on doing meaningful things. Things that are in line with my values and priorities, like spirituality, physical health, relationships, and personal growth.

I’m going to kick off the new year with this goal in mind to focus on less entertainment by doing a challenge of course! I love putting myself up to a challenge! And this time my husband is joining me in this challenge. I asked him a few years ago if we could do a challenge of removing the tv from our bedroom. Back then he was not keen on the idea, but we decided to do this together as a form of fasting. Our church does a 21 day fast at the beginning of every year and it can be anything you choose to abstain from. We are going to quit watching tv at night, which has become a very ingrained routine for us! I’m looking forward to seeing the difference it makes for us as individuals, but also for our marriage!

With New Year’s resolutions, a switch can’t necessarily be flipped and all things are new. But if you keep making small changes, year after year. These things will become part of your everyday routines and life.

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.

MY 2025 YEAR END REVIEW

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Hey friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday I wanted to review my 2025 year with you. The end of the year is a great time to reflect and celebrate your successes, evaluate what you could do differently, and think about some habits you want to continue on into the new year. I always love using paper planners and this year my planner had a spot for keeping track of routines, values, and goals. So it was easy to evaluate how this year went for me. I loved this planner so much that I ended up purchasing the exact same planner for 2026.

One of the first pages in this planner is a spot to write out your values. There was also a list of common values you could circle to guide you for the year. In this section there was a “more” column and a “less” column. Under more I wrote: quietness, walking, reading, whole foods, and creativity. I was actually shocked at how effective it is to write down your values heading into a new year. I have been wanting to add the habit of reading into my routines for years and it wasn’t until this year that I was truly successful! At the end of the summer I added the routine of reading almost every evening, and that routine has continued! I also wanted to walk more this year and I started the habit of walking in the mornings this year. I have also generally been taking more walks throughout this year! I do feel like I could do a better job at quietness. As I mentioned last week, I am taking some time away from Instagram over the next couple of weeks to give myself more margin for quietness. I have been getting on every few days to answer DMs and I’m also working with a brand to create a Reel, but otherwise not scrolling or staying on for hours. 

The last two things were whole foods – which I decided to create a mostly ingredient pantry at the beginning of the year to achieve this. I would say I did okay in this regard. I definitely still purchase crackers and other packaged foods, but I do think creating the ingredient pantry has helped and moving into the new year I would like to continue to focus on this goal. Lastly was creativity, and I truly believe that doing the no buy year helped with making space for creativity. I did several home projects with DIYs and I also had to get creative at times to make what I had on hand work instead of purchasing something new.

In my “less” column I had sugar, social media, and shopping. I definitely was successful with less shopping! Doing the no buy year really curbed my shopping throughout the year. I feel like I could still work on the less sugar goal. I don’t eat a lot of refined sugar, but I do make desserts regularly for my family. I make them homemade and sweeten them with maple syrup or dates, but I want to cut back on eating desserts generally. And with social media I am off of Facebook and TikTok completely and even after just a few days off of Instagram I would like to implement strict rules for myself with regards to how long I can be on the app daily.

Another spot in the planner that was insightful to me is to look at was my top 5 goals for the year. Mine were: 1. Fix issues with the house, 2. Regular walking, 3. Continue daily Bible reading, 4. Continue workout routine, and 5. Read more! I would say I did an amazing job hitting these goals this year! I will say, we still have some issues we need to deal with regarding our home. I did get a new front door, which was on the list, but I still have a long list to get through which will have to roll over into next year. I would like to come up with a plan to get these things accomplished because it’s definitely something that I keep putting off! I really dislike research, which fixing home issues requires. Everything else on this list I feel very proud to say I achieved these goals! I look forward to filling out my plans for 2026 over the next week!

I would love to hear from you in the comments! Did you write down your goals for this year? Do you make resolutions? A vision board? A word for the year? How did you do on accomplishing your goals for this year? What goals or ideas do you have for the upcoming new year?

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.

MEDITATIVE PRACTICE

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Hey friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday I wanted to talk about something I was thinking about the other day while putting up our outdoor Christmas lights. I have been lining the path leading up to our house with lights for the last several years. It is a tedious process and I’m always trying to remember exactly how I installed them previously. I have these little light pick type holders, they are little stakes you put into the ground and then put each individual light bulb into individual stakes so that the lights are neatly lining the sidewalk. On the day I was doing this project I was not feeling great. I was dealing with some seasonal allergies, which made me a little irritable. I didn’t realize I had two different lengths of light strands and I thought I had installed the wrong ones because they didn’t reach all the way down the path, which irritated me even more! I later realized that the lights usually didn’t extend the full length of the pathway. But I had this thought while installing the lights – a lot of homemaking tasks and projects can be tedious, but they can also be quite meditative if we view it that way.

When we have a task that requires little thought and is a repetitive task, we can view this as an opportunity to have a meditative moment. As I was installing each little individual light, this repetitive motion afforded me the space to think through things that were on my mind. It gave me time to process some things I had been thinking about. I know when we perform these repetitive tasks it may be easy to want to entertain ourselves during that task. We may want to listen to music or a podcast, or watch a YouTube video. And there is nothing wrong with that! I certainly do that too. I just had this moment of clarity where I realized how meditative some tasks can be. I have been trying to mono-task more often lately. Doing one thing at a time – whether it’s cooking, cleaning, or putting up Christmas lights. This can help you to live more in the moment, and also leave more space for quietness and reflection.

Something that I have actually been thinking about all year is how inundated we are now with entertainment. Having a mini computer right in our pockets and going everywhere with us has made it really easy to access content and constant entertainment. I have noticed recently how easy it is to mindlessly open apps on my phone or mindlessly scroll Instagram. I go on to respond to comments or DMs and before I know it I’m just scrolling. I feel like it has become something that is an autopilot response. Any dead space we have – whether it’s sitting at a traffic light or waiting in line, our auto response can be to pick up our phones. I have been wanting to do a social media detox for a while now, but it’s just so complicated given that I post on social media for business purposes. I’m thinking about trying a 12 day detox leading up to Christmas day. And honestly, Instagram is the only social media app I struggle with. I do watch YouTube videos, but I feel like I am more intentional with YouTube. I got rid of Tik Tok and FaceBook a couple years ago. Social media is such a double edge sword because on the one hand it is a great way to connect, but it can also be a time suck. I have also wondered if I would spend more time with people in real life if I didn’t have this app to connect with people.

But back to the main topic I have been thinking about – meditative practices. I think once I filter out this extra input in my life, it will be easier to truly enjoy the meditative quality of some of my homemaking tasks. I will be less apt to find some way to entertain myself while cooking, cleaning, decorating, organizing, or decluttering and instead enjoy the process more and focus my mind on prayer, self reflection, or processing my most recent emotions. I do feel like this is such a challenge because of how prevalent media is in our lives. I don’t want to be a zombie and mindlessly open apps, and mindlessly scroll. I want to be intentional with what I do with my time and my brain space!

NO BUY YEAR NOVEMBER RECAP

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Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday I will be sharing my recap for the month of November for how my no buy year has been going. I usually share the last Thursday of the month, but since last week was Thanksgiving I did not share at all, so I decided I would share today. I will be sharing a wrap up on my overall thoughts on how the no buy year affected me, and what I plan to do moving into 2026 the first Thursday in January. But for today I will share how I did in November.

Y’all, these last few months have been a true struggle! Okay, let’s be real – half the year has been a struggle! One of my brothers got married in the month of November and they had a dress code – everyone was instructed to wear black. I thought it was a bit odd, but let me tell you it looked so classy! Even though I have in my rules that I can purchase items for events, I thought to myself – I have several black dresses to choose from, there is no reason I need to purchase another black dress. So, I found the outfit I wanted to wear to the wedding, but then I thought to myself – what jacket will I wear? They were getting married in Indiana in November, so I definitely needed a jacket. Living in Texas, I don’t have very many jackets and I didn’t have any jackets warm enough and nice enough to wear to a wedding. WELL, there is a jacket that I have honestly been wanting all year. It is a khaki colored trench coat. At the beginning of the year I was keeping track of the items I wanted to purchase but did not, and this trench coat was on the list. You can probably guess by now that I decided to purchase the coat since I did not purchase a dress. It is amazing how easy it becomes to justify spending! With all that said, I really do love this coat and it is versatile. I also wore it with jeans and I got a lot of compliments on it!

Me with my four sisters at our brother’s wedding!

BUT, this was not my only slip up in the month of November. UGH! Ya’ll, it truly pains me to confess this… but you know what, I am keeping it real here. My birthday was the day before Thanksgiving and of course many stores already had black Friday sales going on. There is a pair of boots that I have actually been wanting for years, but the exact ones I wanted are the Frye brand and way too expensive for what I would usually spend on a pair of shoes – even the used ones I found on Poshmark were too expensive, BUT one of my favorite stores had a similar boot ON SALE! Not only was it cheaper to begin with, but also on sale! AND it got me! There is still a chance I will return them as I need to try them on with a few outfits to see if I really love them. They just came in the mail yesterday.

I feel so frustrated with myself that I have really failed almost every month since June! I know a year is a really long time to do a no buy, and I know I wasn’t going out and buying tons, just a piece here and there, but my perfectionist personality is irritated with my failure! I keep thinking about why this is such a pull for me? I want to be content with what I already have, and I have plenty! It makes me wonder about a deeper root issue in my heart. Spoiler for what I will share in my final recap: I will not go back to buying whatever in 2026. I might not do a full on buy nothing year again, but I do still need to deal with my heart and why I have a desire to purchase or have new things.

As I evaluate my heart, I realize a lot of why I like new clothing in particular is because it is a creative outlet for me. I love fashion, and putting together outfits and I really have my whole life. When I was younger, I grew up with four sisters and my parents were both teachers, so we didn’t have a lot of disposable income for me to get what I wanted. Not that I spend frivolously as an adult, but we are comfortable financially, making it easier to spend. If I look at it from a more sinister perspective, I think in my heart I may not be content with what I have, which in my opinion needs to be dealt with. I will talk more about all of this in my next recap which will happen the first week in January! But for now, that is all I have to share for the month of November!

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post!

IMPLEMENTING SOFT DISCIPLINE

/ OrganizedWithJoy / Leave a comment

In a recent Instagram post I shared a quote that said, “growth only happens outside of your comfort zone.” I am someone who likes structure and routines. I realize that at times having rigid routines can stifle my ability to get out of my comfort zone. Finding ways to stick with my healthy habits while also leaving room for flexibility made me think about living with soft discipline. I think this idea of soft discipline also lends itself to living a more intentional lifestyle – honoring those moments when we need a slower pace because of how we are feeling physically or because of the seasons, or when we should lean into a time when we have higher energy. When we create rigid routines for ourselves, this doesn’t leave room for this energy shift.

So, what is soft discipline? It is having structure in life, but with compassion instead of rigidity. Contrary to traditional discipline, which can seem to focus on self-punishment and an all or nothing mindset, soft discipline is daily doing what matters with self tenderness. It focuses more on our spiritual intuition and is rooted in intentional living. Instead of being harsh or demanding with yourself to “stay on track,” soft discipline allows you to pay attention to your energy, what season you are in, and your inner guidance.

I think oftentimes we struggle with sustaining self-discipline because we are not compassionate with ourselves when it comes to our goals. Especially in western cultures, there is a high value on productivity which can lead to perfectionism and burnout. The nature of discipline leads us to battle with ourselves as though we have an inner drill sergeant calling out what we must do. But unfortunately sometimes this inner voice can create a mindset of shame and self-criticism, which leads to a lack of motivation or shut down instead of motivating us to follow through.

The core principles for executing soft discipline is having a gentle structure, focusing on micro movements, having compassionate accountability, allowing for energy-led planning, and celebrating progress over perfection. 

First, soft discipline includes creating a flexible framework for your day instead of a rigid schedule. Having routines is good, but it is also good to give yourself grace within those routines. Focusing on rituals over routines can help to change your mindset towards a more compassionate routine. For instance, if you view your morning walk as a ritual – where you get to pay attention to your five senses, you get to clear your head, you get to move your body – this will make it feel more like a ritual you don’t want to miss rather than a task you must do to check off your to do list. Lastly, it can help to create anchor points in your day – having morning rituals, midday breaks, and evening resets.

Next, soft discipline includes focusing on micro movements. These would be actions that have the potential to build on other actions. Sometimes when we start small it gives us the momentum we need. Allow yourself to just do 5 minutes for a task. This will often lead to the energy and momentum you need to keep going. Focus on the momentum and not the mastery or completion of a task. Soft discipline also includes compassionate accountability. Talk to yourself as you would talk to a friend. Replace punishment with curiosity and ask yourself: “What do I need right now?” instead of “Why can’t I get this done?”

Another principle of soft discipline is to allow for energy-led planning. I have to admit that I am so bad at this. I spent many years not honoring what my body was capable of doing and would over-commit and just push through. I am getting better at this, but it does not come easy to me. I am more of a pull up my boot straps and get it done type person. We must learn to pay attention to our intuition and our inner rhythms. We all have days where we don’t feel as energetic, and days where we have lots of energy. Honor your energy levels, slow down when you need to, and lean into productivity on days where you have lots of energy. If possible, align your tasks with your energy levels.

Lastly, soft discipline focuses on celebrating progress over perfection. So often we want to see big changes or big progress – especially when we are focusing on a specific goal. But it can be so helpful to start small, and celebrate along the way. When we celebrate our follow-through, even if it was not perfect, it can help to build our self-trust giving us that feeling of pride in our accomplishments.

Creating a life around soft discipline feels more peaceful, intentional, and sustainable. You begin to follow through more often because you are aligning to your energy and giving yourself grace. Soft discipline gives you the mindset of choosing yourself, kindly and gently, over and over again with each choice you make instead of the mindset of the drill sergeant just checking things off your to-do list. This doesn’t mean soft discipline is easy, all discipline is work, so we must have that expectation. But living with a more compassionate approach to discipline will reframe your outlook to viewing discipline as devotion to yourself – to your future self, your peace, and your purpose in life!

This is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.