Month: February 2026

CONSCIOUS HABITS

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I have been reading the book Atomic Habits. When I went to visit my son, we traded books. I gave him a book I finished, and he gave me this book to read which he already finished. Surprisingly I have not read it yet! It’s definitely right up my alley as I am someone who is very aware of how our habits shape who we become.

This week I posted a quote on Instagram that came from this book. James Clear used a quote from Carl Jung to explain a point he was making in one of the chapters in this book. I really appreciated this quote, so I wanted to share it with you and talk a bit about it. It says, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.” Wow. That hit me hard. So often we don’t want to take accountability for the outcomes in our lives. We are just taken along by the waves – the waves of our wants and desires, or the waves of our culture or social media. But the truth is, WE are responsible for our behaviors and the outcomes or consequences of those behaviors!

In this chapter Clear was making the point that if we want to change our habits – quit bad habits, or implement good habits – we must start with awareness. We must realize that it is NOT fate that got us to where we are, but instead all of the little choices or little actions we took over time that lead us to the life we are currently leading. We must be aware, or conscious, of each of our choices and evaluate if those choices are a vote for or against the person you want to become.

You must first evaluate what type of person you want to be – what types of things do you want to prioritize or value? Then you need to look at your habits and determine if each habit is leading towards that goal of who you want to be, or away from it. Clear suggested keeping a journal with all of your activities and then next to each activity marking a symbol that means this is a positive, negative, or neutral habit with regards to your goals. When you pay attention to each of your habits, you can then make the necessary changes towards habits that support your goals and who you want to become.

I do want to say that I recognize all of this isn’t easy. It’s simple, but it is not easy. I also want to say that we are human, so we won’t always do things perfectly, but it’s about progress over perfection. It’s about continually striving towards doing the right thing and implementing those habits that lead us towards the person we want to be. This is a lifelong journey, unfortunately. And it’s not a linear process, but one filled with ups and downs. I have learned that as long as I am making a slow progression towards who I want to be, that is what is important.

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.

ALLOWING THINGS TO HAPPEN AS THEY ARE

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Earlier this week I shared an Erin Loechner quote on Instagram. I really love her book Chasing Slow. So much so that it is one of the few books I will keep in my collection. The quote says, “I begin to learn to allow things to happen as they are, rather than how I want them to be. I begin to learn, quite simply, the art of peace.” This quote really resonated with me. This idea that contentment isn’t found in some perfect definition of life. Contentment is found in the accepting. Accepting that things are the way they are. When we resign to this truth, we will find peace.

I think this quote resonated so much with me, partially right now, because I feel like I am in the in between in life. I just returned from visiting my son in Portland, and it really brought up that feeling of discontent in my heart. We have been considering moving to the Pacific Northwest, however now is not the time… yet. Currently our daughter is still living with us as she finishes her graduate school work. Graduation is in December, almost a year away. It doesn’t really seem like that long with how quickly time has been passing, but it also feels like I have already been waiting so long to downsize and move. Visiting Portland reminded me how happy my heart is there. For those of you who don’t know, we actually used to live in Portland. I really loved living there! We moved to Austin for my husband to go to graduate school, and that was now almost 24 years ago.

When our son got a job in Portland after graduating from college, I felt like that was almost like a sign we should move back. Our daughter has also always wanted to live in the PNW (although we shall see what happens with her career.) But reading this quote: “I begin to learn to allow things to happen as they are, rather than how I want them to be,” reminded me that I must fight for contentment everyday. When I accept where I am and find the joy and beauty in my everyday life here, I begin to experience that contentment and peace I long for.

For me, it’s not just about living in the PNW. I mean, it is – I think it will be an upgrade in lifestyle as I am an outdoorsy type person for sure. There are more opportunities to do outdoor activities there than here in Austin. But it’s also about downsizing. This is something I have been dreaming about for quite some time. If it’s not obvious by now, I long to live a more simple life. This is especially true as I age. I long to have less and do more. I long to take care of less stuff and take care of people more. I guess I just see that dream on the horizon and I’m ready for it NOW. I have been ready for it.

Me in my happy place! Hiking in Oregon!

Funny side story: I have always been adventurous! When we were graduating from Indiana University and my husband got a job offer in Portland, OR I said: “Awesome, let’s go!” When he wanted to go back to school for his MBA and got into the University of Texas I said: “Awesome, let’s go!” When we thought about moving within Austin to get our kids into a better school district I said: “Awesome, let’s go!” I have told my husband before that I am pretty much up for any adventure! I would sell everything and move half way across the world if we had to! I think some of what I am feeling is just too settled maybe? We’ve lived in Austin for almost 24 years and lived in this home for almost 17 years.

But back to the topic… I really want to challenge myself to a mindset shift. I find this to be one of the most important strategies to learn in life. And this quote sums it up. If we want peace, if we want contentment, we must learn to allow things to happen as they are. We must look for the joy and beauty in our lives here and now. We must CREATE joy and beauty in our lives in the here and now. Experiencing the art of peace isn’t as complicated as we may think. Look around you – be grateful for what you have, look for ways that you can grow and flourish in this season, in this very place where you are NOW! It’s okay to make plans for the future, but don’t let your contentment hinge on your future. I’m not just saying this for you, I’m reminding myself as well!

This is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.

HELPING ADULT CHILDREN

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I recently saw a post on Instagram that really resonated with me. It said something along the lines of “when people ask me why I still help my adult children, I respond that being a parent is a life long role.” Even though my kids are young adults and fully capable of doing things themselves, I still absolutely love helping them and being there for them. I know one day my kids will be there for me when I grow old and need help. I especially love helping my kids with homemaking tasks as I have a lot of experience and gifting in this area. I might as well use my gifts!

Just last week I flew to Portland, OR to help my son move into a different apartment. While it was hard work to help my son move, I actually really enjoyed the process! For some reason I really love packing and I also enjoy organizing spaces (obviously) and making a space cozy and comfortable! I am thankful that my kids are so appreciative when I do help them! Also, I have to mention – working out and lifting weights at my age has practical benefits like being able to help my son move! It was just me and my son who moved his entire one bedroom apartment including some heavy furniture pieces. I am also thankful that I have the time and bandwidth to devote to traveling to Portland to help my son! I also have to say, it would be one thing if my kids took advantage of me, but my son is very responsible with a really good head on his shoulders, making it easier to give him this help. He absolutely could have accomplished this move on his own, recruiting friends, but I was happy to help him! And like I said, he expresses his appreciation for my help.

I do feel like generally people in westernized cultures don’t value community or family as much as other cultures, or even as much as they used to. In other cultures it is common for communities or families to come together to help one another for things like moving. It’s not “putting others out” like it seems to be here in America. People live so individualistically and independently from one another now, and I think with the emergence of the internet and social media it has gotten worse. It is all too easy to just live life online and not interact and function within a community of people. In other cultures, people don’t necessarily kick their kids out of the nest at 18 and often kids live with their parents until they get married. It’s also common in other cultures for aging parents to move in with their kids and live inter-generationally. All of this is rare in western cultures. I think life is more well lived and robust in a community or family structure!

I have to brag about my son for a minute. He moved to Portland a year and a half ago. Since moving, he has developed two separate friend groups, who he regularly spends time with. He has been pursuing his hobbies outside of work – both this year and last year buying a season ski pass, and getting involved with a local open mic night to pursue his passion for music. Through that he actually joined a band and plays bass in another band. We had a conversation about this very topic and he expressed his high value of relationships and the importance of prioritizing those relationships. To say I’m proud is an understatement. Your kids will follow your lead in life – they will not necessarily listen to what you give lip service to, but they will see what your everyday habits are and often will adopt those habits as well in their adulthood!

Family is one of my highest priorities. Not just my immediate family, my husband and kids, but also extended family! I find nurturing relationships to be one of the most rewarding things you can do with your time!

YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.


LESSONS FROM A DECLUTTERING CHALLENGE

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Last month I played the minimalism game. If you’re not familiar with it, you can look it up, but ultimately in this 30 day challenge you declutter 465 items from your home! I have played this game a few other times before. Each time I have doubted if I would be able to successfully complete the challenge, and each time after that I have even more doubts as I have less in my home to declutter! This last time I was sure I wouldn’t be able to meet the goal of 465 items and technically I did not just because of the way I counted items. Sometimes I would have multiple of one type of item and I would count that as one or as a “lot,” so I do give myself grace. The way I was counting, in the end I had 405 items to declutter from my home! Although I didn’t technically meet the 465 items, I was still shocked at how much I was able to let go. I did have my daughter helping me with the challenge. Our 29 year old daughter is currently living with us as she completes grad school, so any items she decluttered I counted toward the final number. I was okay counting her things too because they are still leaving my home and one intention I have in 2026 is to help my family members get serious about decluttering their things as well.

I wanted to share what I learned from this last round of the minimalism game. First, I learned that when you’re on the fence about something, typically that means that ultimately you don’t really love it enough to keep it. Quite a lot of the items in this round were items that I have been on the fence about, either for a long time or even just recently. I didn’t really love them, but I also had space for them so I wasn’t letting them go. I know that if I hold onto them they will not be used most of the time. If I pass them along, someone can enjoy them more regularly than they were getting used by me. I did pass some items along to my friends, and that made me feel better about letting them go, knowing they would be used and loved by others. Having this goal from the game really pushed me to be realistic about how often I am using certain items.

I also learned that little by little I am getting closer to my goal of becoming more of a minimalist. I know that term has a lot of stigmas attached to it, so I will explain what it means to me. It means making each of my spaces – even in my cabinets and drawers – feeling like the stuff is easy to manage, but also still feel cozy and inviting. My living room is my plumb line for me, so to speak. I absolutely love how that room feels. It feels so relaxing because I know I use and/or love everything that is in that room. It is easy to clean, and even to deep clean now that it is minimized. The last time I deep cleaned, top to bottom, it took me about 30 minutes. My goal is for every space in my home to feel that way! I feel like I am truly getting there. But I do live with other people, so they have stuff that I may not keep but I have to respect what they want since we share the space.

Next, I learned that we still have more stuff than I think we do! If I was able to get rid of 405 items in 30 days? Clearly we still have a lot of stuff! Now to be fair, we have been married for almost 30 years and we have raised 3 kids and 2 dogs! But I was surprised that I was able to find that much to declutter! I know that it will help tremendously moving forward just being more intentional about what comes into our home. I think sometimes people underestimate that slowing the inflow will have a huge impact on the amount of clutter in your home!

Speaking of inflow, lastly I learned the importance of managing inflow. You may know that I did a no buy year last year. That was specifically for clothes, shoes, accessories, and home decor as these are the categories that seem to multiply quickly if I’m not paying attention. In 2026 I am being far more intentional with my purchases and only allowing myself to purchase a maximum of 3 items in these categories each month. Having these boundaries I think will really help me to stay honest and not slide down a slippery slope. I do want to share with you each month what I do purchase to hold myself accountable! So in January I did purchase a pair of shoes. It is another pair of tennis shoes… I know, I know… I have a lot of tennis shoes! But I do primarily wear athletic shoes and I did declutter a few pairs of shoes in general in my most recent closet clean out. I also purchased a pair of pillow shams that match the lighter side of my bedroom comforter. I really wanted to purchase a new comforter and rug for my bedroom but I decided I don’t really need that. A compromise was to purchase these shams and flip my comforter over!

It felt so good to get that amount of stuff out of my home, so I am very glad I challenged myself to play the minimalism game once again! I hope these lessons are helpful to you on your own decluttering journey!

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.