Hey friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday I wanted to talk about desiring change in life. I thought this was an appropriate topic since recently I have been changing things up around my home. Also, I think a lot of people use the new year as an excuse to change things up – either in their lives, or in their environment. For me this new year I have desired change now more than I have in past years. I mentioned that I am doing a no buy year this year, and I am doing an additional challenge each month this year. In January I have been doing dry January and abstaining from alcohol. Along with my no buy year, I am being more intentional about the food I purchase and focusing more on whole foods and cooking from scratch. So far things are going amazingly well, but I do recognize we are only 3 weeks into the new year so things may get more challenging as the year proceeds. But I’m already seeing some wonderful benefits from the changes I have made, which I will talk about next Thursday as I plan to debrief about my no buy year at the end of each month.

So, with all of this change, it got me thinking about why we would pursue change in life. At first I was just thinking about my desire to rearrange my furniture and remove things from my spaces. I have heard that it is good to change things up in our physical spaces, but the more I thought about it I realized that it is just another manifestation of my desire for change. While change is an inevitable part of life, sometimes we choose change. Desiring change is most likely a symptom of a desire for personal growth, dissatisfaction with career or life in general, or a realization that our current lifestyle does not align with our values or aspirations. 

In addition, upon doing a quick Google search about desiring change, a theme that came up was desiring change could be a trauma response. If we have past trauma that is unresolved, or we are in the midst of current trauma, naturally we want an escape from that. We may use our external environment, which we have control over, to change things up as a way of searching for peace and to calm our anxiety. I really think this is only a temporary fix, and if we don’t find healing for our trauma we will continue in this cycle of trying to find the “perfect” set up in our homes, the “perfect” amount of stuff. We are really searching for internal peace, but using our external environment to try to achieve that.

Often we desire change, and may take some steps towards change, but don’t have follow through or sustained change in habits. Breaking old habits and/or adopting new ones is not easy. It takes persistence, patience, and resilience. We must be prepared to face setbacks, discouragement, or criticism along the way – making it difficult to stay the course. While change is difficult, I have found so often it is more rewarding than I anticipated. It is worth pursuing change with tenacity if you find you really need a change in life.

While change is not easy, we can embrace it and navigate it successfully. The first step is self awareness. Recognizing you want or need a change in life isn’t always easy to acknowledge. But acknowledging it, and taking some time to self reflect and accept why you need or want a change is helpful in embracing the change effectively. Once we have acknowledged the need for change, we can begin to make a plan to execute the change. We must come up with detailed actions we plan to take in order to achieve the goal. While admittedly this year I have made a lot of changes at once, typically it is better to focus on small gradual changes as this more often will lead to sustainable change and make the transition less overwhelming. Also, when we focus on small changes we will have that immediate gratification of seeing the small wins which will propel us to keep going.

Having a positive mindset in this time of change will also help us to be successful. Reminding ourselves daily why we have incorporated this new habit, or ditched old negative habits will keep us on course. Surrounding ourselves with people – friends or mentors – who will encourage us on our journey will also help. I joined a Discord group with other people who are doing a no buy year and it’s encouraging to see their wins and to just have that camaraderie with others who are working towards similar goals. Practicing self compassion when you do fail is so important. It is easy to throw our hands in the air and give up completely when we fail, but we must view failure just as a learning experience instead of a reason to give up. We must view it as an opportunity to grow in reliance and confidence.

Lastly, we must take action. Maybe this is obvious, but so many times in my life I stayed in the planning and preparation phase. I once heard an author describe this as circling the runway instead of landing the plane. While planning and preparation are absolutely important, real change happens when we start taking steps towards the goal, even if it is baby steps. We must remain consistent. And as I have said many times before – progress over perfection. Keep taking those steps forward, recognizing that you will not always do things perfectly. 

Well friends, I hope this chat encouraged or inspired you in some way! Please let me know your thoughts on my thoughts down in the comments!