Thoughtful Thursday

HABITS ARE HARD TO CHANGE

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Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to talk about how challenging it can be to change habits. It is challenging to incorporate new healthy habits, and it’s also challenging to change the unhealthy habits. As we end out the year I know many of you are thinking about some changes you may want to make in the new year. The new year is a great time to evaluate behavior and think about what you may want to do differently moving into the new year.

I thought this is a good time of year to address this topic and share some thoughts with you. There are a few things I have been thinking about recently with regards to habits. First, I just want to acknowledge how difficult it is to incorporate new habits into your routines. I have been doing intermittent fasting for the past 3 or 4 years, and while this may be considered a healthy habit I decided I wanted to change things up and eat protein prior to my workout in order to gain muscle. Y’all I did this for maybe two weeks, but slowly reverted back to my old habit of not eating until noon – which is after my workout. Even though my previous habit wasn’t a bad habit it was still nevertheless challenging for me to incorporate a new habit. As we think about incorporating new habits moving into the new year we must acknowledge that it will be hard. If you are wanting to change a bad habit or add a healthy habit, it will likely be extra challenging! 

I think it’s important to first be aware of the internal struggle you will experience as you make changes. It can be difficult to make lots of changes at once, and I have noticed for myself I have more success if I just focus on one or two changes at a time. If you choose one thing to focus on per month in 2024, by the end of the year you will have changed 12 habits! 

Something else that can derail new habits is failure. It can be easy to give up when we have a day where we fail to meet the expectations we have set for ourselves, but I think we will have more success if we pick ourselves up and dust off and move forward the next day. It can be hard to accept that we won’t do things perfectly, but once we do we begin to see the change sticking over the long haul.

Another thing that is important to acknowledge is that even if you have stuck with a good or healthy habit for a long period of time, it doesn’t mean that it is easy to stick to. There will be days that you don’t feel like following through. I have been someone who avidly works out since I was in middle school, but I can promise you there are some days when I am not feeling it and I want to skip the workout. It is on those days that the habit drives the behavior more than my feelings. Just because we have a habit doesn’t mean that it will always be easy to stick to it!

I do want to address that there are some habits that become an addiction and you might need to seek professional help if you are not having luck changing those habits on your own. Addiction can come in many forms these days. So many people think of substance abuse, but we can be addicted to our phones, social media, shopping, food, and more! Sometimes we need to get help from a professional to get out of these unhealthy cycles. I’m mentioning this briefly to acknowledge it, but I know that there is no simple solution to these sorts of unhealthy habits. But I did want to mention it.

I hope this post encouraged or inspired you today! I would love for you to check out my YouTube channel if you haven’t already done so! I will link the video below that I made in conjunction with this post!

CONSTANT STIMULATION + DIGITAL DETOX

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Okay friends, for this week’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to talk about something I have been thinking about recently. I have been thinking about how easy it is for us these days to be overstimulated. We are exposed to constant stimulation and therefore are prone to frequently multi-tasking. I know for me, when I have a day where I am doing multiple things at once all day my brain gets more easily tired. In addition to that, sometimes I feel like I’m not as efficient or producing quality work when I multitask.

For me, my anxiety causes me to easily get overstimulated. As a mom of three, I got used to constantly multitasking to make sure everyone’s needs were met in a timely way. Over time this took a toll on my mind. I can still multitask, but I feel like I have residual effects from that time period in my life when my kids were younger and I was trying to do so many things at once.

I recognize that we sometimes need to multitask, especially as moms. But I have been thinking about some intentional things I wanted to start implementing into my life in order to live at a slower pace and train my brain to focus on one thing at a time, and really enjoy what I’m working on and being present in the moment. If you have been around for a while, you may have heard me say don’t wait until the new year to make a resolution towards change. As we approach the new year, it could be easy for me to just wait until January to implement these new habits, but I am choosing to start today. I encourage others not to wait, but to start once you realize a new habit needs to be incorporated into your routines. So, that is what I am doing today.

I have talked before about how I use Sunday as a true Sabbath – a day off of work. I don’t do housework, or YouTube work. I mostly stay off social media on this day (with the exception of talking to people in Instagram chat). I really think this social media detox, or digital detox one day a week has been beneficial for me. I want to continue this practice of getting on social media apps very minimally on Sundays. I would like to incorporate more prolonged periods of staying off social media, which I do plan to do in the new year. I’m still in the process of figuring out how that could look as someone who shares creative content.

Something I implemented today is to sometimes eliminate background noise. I have this habit of constantly putting in my ear buds – watching Marco Polo videos, watching YouTube videos, listening to podcasts, or listening to music. I do these things as a passive activity while I’m doing some other somewhat passive activity – like cleaning, doing laundry, cooking, checking email, or even some parts of editing a YouTube video. This week I have started to take out my ear buds more and experience the thing I’m doing. Even if it is a “boring” thing, I want to learn to enjoy these boring mundane tasks that need to get done. Also, when I’m constantly ingesting input, it’s hard to process everything fully. I’m doing everything in a passive way, not fully experiencing it. I have found that when my mind is not overstimulated it has time for creativity, meditation, presence, and processing.

Something else I plan to implement is a night time routine that doesn’t include my phone. I have always had a night time routine, but I want to focus more on slowing down and unwinding. Putting my phone down, taking a hot shower or bath, drinking some herbal tea, reading or journaling, and applying all of my nighttime facial products! I think it helps to get better sleep if we slow down at night, don’t expose ourselves to blue light, and do activities that are calming and don’t overstimulate us.

Moving into the new year I definitely want to be intentional with my time and energy. I don’t want to just go through my days on autopilot, but I want to enjoy the everyday things that need to get done. Let me know if any of this resonates with you and what are your ideas to prevent constant overstimulation? There are certainly more things I could do to prevent constant stimulation, but I want to focus on just a couple things right now to make the habits lasting!

Here is the video I posted in conjunction with this blog post!

GRACE IN HOMEMAKING

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Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to address something that some of my girlfriends and I were talking about this week. We were talking about this idea that there are different seasons in life that allow for different abilities and different bandwidth for homemaking.

I wonder if some people come to my YouTube channel and see my organized spaces, see my tidy home, hear me talking about my disciplined homemaking schedule and think to themselves: I don’t have the bandwidth for that. Guess what, I have not always had the bandwidth for the way I live now! We are all in different seasons of life, have different responsibilities and obligations, and we all have different abilities. Some of you may have a chronic illness, or depression, or other health conditions that limit what you can do in this season in life. You may have young children with busy schedules, or you have other priorities and commitments outside of your home – whether that is a job or an organization you’re involved in. I just want to let you know, if you visit my YouTube channel, you are seeing one stage in my life. You are seeing the stage of life where I have more margin in my life. My kids are older now and more independent, and in addition to that, ever since Covid I have not been involved in as many things I once used to be involved in. I have enjoyed this slower pace of life, and so have been more intentional with my schedule and what commitments I will make moving forward.

Check out my YouTube channel if you have not already!

Thirteen years ago I went through some health issues that affected my ability to be productive. I had pretty severe anxiety and debilitating acid reflux for quite a while before I learned about my food sensitivities and some of my hormonal imbalances. During that time in life, which was also when my kids were in middle and elementary school, and my husband traveled a lot for his job often leaving me essentially to be a single parent, I had to evaluate realistically what I could do. It’s in these more difficult seasons of life that we must give ourselves grace with regards to homemaking. Sometimes just keeping people alive is enough!

While I have always had a schedule, even when my kids were very young, I have also allowed myself flexibility based on what commitments we had in each stage of life. While I have always incorporated deep cleaning and decluttering in my schedule, it certainly didn’t happen as regularly as it does now. There were some weeks when my kids were younger that I just didn’t have the bandwidth to get it done. In those seasons I had to prioritize other things – like my kids activities, volunteering, and other obligations outside of the home. 

If you have watched my channel over it’s lifetime (which by the way I officially had my four year YouTube anniversary on November 1st!), you will have seen the transformation of my home. While I did my best to keep our home clean, organized, and tidy while my kids were growing up, that wasn’t my priority then. But since starting my channel 4 years ago, with my kids older and more independent, I have done a lot of organizing projects and a lot of decluttering, which I only now have had the time to be intentional about. It took us 27 years of marriage to accumulate all of the things we have today, and it has taken me the last 8 years or so of prioritizing decluttering and organizing to get my home to where it is today. I organized and decluttered our spaces little by little over time, it didn’t happen overnight.

I did want to share this with you to let you know that anything I share on my YouTube channel or my blog comes from a place of where I am in my season of life. I share with you tips and things that have helped me as I get my home decluttered and organized, but I fully understand that not everyone is in a season where they have time to devote to these things. This is why I am such a big advocate for doing things a little at a time, and being intentional about what comes into your home! 

I hope if you are in a season where you don’t have as much bandwidth for homemaking, that you would give yourself grace today. I truly hope anything I share is inspirational to you and doesn’t make you feel discouraged because you can’t do things the way I do them. I only share to inspire and motivate! If you are in a more difficult season, where you don’t have as much time or energy – just be encouraged that seasons change! They always do!

Check out the YouTube video that I shared in conjunction with this blog post!

BEING THANKFUL FOR THE LITTLE THINGS

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Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I thought it was fitting to talk about thankfulness since it is the first Thursday in November! I wanted to kick off this season of thankfulness by sharing my thoughts on the importance of being thankful for the little things in life.

No matter what challenges you face today, I am sure there are little things in your life that you are thankful for. Sometimes the little things are overlooked because we tend to take them for granted over time. If you live in a western culture and have running water, you have something to be thankful for!

I think especially when we are in a difficult season in life it can be easy to focus on all the things that are going wrong. It can be overwhelming as we try to problem solve to resolve whatever is going on, and that can take up a lot of energy. I certainly don’t want to minimize anything challenging you may be experiencing in life right now! I simply want to encourage you to also focus on the positive things in life and the blessings you have even if it’s something small!

I was having a difficult day the other day and I was sharing with some friends on the Marco Polo app that whenever I’m having a hard day I like to stop and think of the things I’m thankful for! (Side note, check out this app if you aren’t on it! It is a fun way to stay connected with people!) On that day I shared with them that I’m thankful that I have a flexible schedule. For those of you who don’t know, I have been a stay at home mom/wife for over 25 years now. I did have a couple of part time jobs and I ran my own organizing business for a while and now I’m managing my YouTube channels and social media content, but all of these things afforded me flexibility in my schedule. I’m thankful for my husband who works hard for our family to provide for us financially, which allows me to pursue content creation and to be there for my husband and kids (yes, even adult kids need you from time to time!) 

This is something that I can definitely take for granted at times. It is good to stop and recognize this blessing. There might be days where I don’t feel well, or I don’t want to do what is on my to do list that day. I have the freedom to rearrange my schedule as needed, within reason. I do have deadlines I create for myself, but that is just to help me to stay organized and to stay on top of the household chores and administrative things that need to be done for our family.

It can be easy to overlook the small things that we may take for granted on a day to day basis. Even something as simple as a cup of coffee can allow us to feel grateful! I hope this chat inspired you to be grateful for something little in your life!

When I was talking to my friends, I asked them to share what they were grateful for. I think hearing what others are grateful for can remind us of blessings in our own life that we may be overlooking or taking for granted. It was so fun to hear all of their responses! I would love to hear what you are grateful for if you want to leave that in the comments! I hope your holiday season is off to a great start!

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this post!

POSITIVE MINDSET

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Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to talk about having a positive mindset. I know that I often talk about positive self talk as a technique to keep a positive mindset. But I realized that when I share that I may make it sound like it’s a simple solution for negative thoughts or beliefs. I wanted to talk today about how I recognize this is absolutely not an easy thing to do.

Like any other healthy habit, positive self talk takes practice and repetition. I sometimes liken it to exercising. It’s not easy, but a necessary part of staying healthy. There are some days when I don’t want to workout, and the same is true for positive self talk. There may be days where I am struggling more to have a positive mindset, but I discipline myself to speak the positive, just like I discipline myself to do a workout on days when I’m feeling tired or just not in the mood to exercise.

The first thing we must do to get to a positive mindset is to be aware of our self-talk. Many of us talk to ourselves all day long unconsciously, not even really thinking about what kinds of things we are telling ourselves. Once we start becoming aware of those times when we are talking negatively or putting ourselves down, then we can start replacing those things with positive things. For a general example: if you recognize that you say to yourself, “I’m not good enough.” When you hear this, negate it by saying something like, “I am trying my best everyday.” Like I said, I acknowledge that this is not an easy practice. Anything we do that is pushing against what we naturally want to do is hard, it’s work. But I think it is worth it to do the work to get to a place where you have a positive self image and feel good about who you are.

Now I’m not suggesting you say something that is completely untrue about yourself with positive self talk. I’m just encouraging you to focus on the good in you, your character, and your talents. If we have a habit of focusing on the negative about ourselves, that is what I am suggesting to break. We still need to be accurate. It’s about creating new pathways in our mind so that we are in the habit of speaking positive to ourselves instead of negative.

I know some days can be really tough – for whatever reason. Maybe it’s a life circumstance, or maybe it’s just hormonal, but there are days that we may feel more down on ourselves than other days. I encourage you to reach out to a family member or friend who might encourage you through those moments. When we can’t speak kindly to ourselves, we may need to rely on others to remind us of the positive. 

I hope you have someone in your life who would speak positively to you, but if not there are a lot of positive affirmation videos on YouTube that could also help you! I actually like to make it a practice to listen to positive affirmations videos either before bed at night or first thing in the morning before getting out of bed. I have found this helpful for me to just maintain that positive frame of mind!

When you’re going through something really tough in life keeping a positive mindset can be extra challenging, so I don’t want to minimize whatever you might be going through that has caused you to struggle with a positive mindset. Like I said at the beginning of this chat, it’s not always easy. I have found that working hard to keep a positive mindset IN SPITE of difficult circumstances has truly helped me during those dark days! 

From my experience, overall I feel like once you experience that mindset shift, it is easier to continue on in it. It is like any other disciplined habit, the more you do it, the easier it becomes. And like I mentioned, you will still have those days that are a little more tough, but once it’s a habit it’s easier to bounce back!

THE REAL YOU

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Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to talk about being authentic. I heard this message this morning from a Christian teacher, Christine Caine. I really love her messages, they are so inspirational! I will link her YouTube channel here if you want to check that out. She said something that really resonated with me. She said, “The real you is who you are when no one is looking.” This resonated with me because when she said that I thought to myself, I truly want to strive to be authentically myself in every situation in life.

Being authentically myself does not necessarily mean oversharing. I really value boundaries on social media and online. It can be a tricky line to walk, because you do want to be relatable, but I believe that it is okay and actually healthy to keep some things about your life private. I think this is especially true when it comes to relationships in your life. I just don’t think it’s fair to share things that are not your story to tell. And oftentimes in those situations, you hear one side of the story, which is also not fair to the other people involved.

What I am talking about, and what I thought of when Christine said that, was that I would be consistent in whatever situation I’m in. That my values would guide my behavior, my words, and the way I treat people. Now with that said, most people are multifaceted! They have many facets to their personalities, so we are not just one way all of the time. I just say this because I recognize in different situations, different parts of our personalities may be more obvious. It doesn’t mean we are being inauthentic, it just means that in that situation that aspect of our personality is showing more. 

Christine shared this analogy of building a building. There is so much that goes on behind the scenes when you’re building a building, or I thought about when I’m doing a makeover on a room. There is a lot that has to happen before we get to the part where we get to decorate and do the finishing touches. So often on social media, people just see the finishing touches. They have no clue what is going on behind the scenes or what went on behind the scenes. Like I said, not that we have to share everything that is going on in our lives on social media, but all too often people just portray this external façade, that just isn’t real.

Listening to her just got me thinking, how can I truly be authentic while also having those boundaries? How can I be vulnerable and relatable while also honoring the privacy of others? I hope I share openly enough online that others can see my authenticity. Also, while I do like to be relatable, creating YouTube videos, Instagram posts, and blog posts are a creative outlet for me, so I am going to present them in an artistic way. Something else I have thought about is that some people might think: it’s unrealistic for someone to clean their house dressed nicely with makeup on and their hair done. Perhaps, but this is how I have always cleaned, even before I had a YouTube channel. And then there are some days where I don’t get dressed and stay in my workout clothes all day, and if you have watched my videos for any length of time you have seen that too! That is authentically me, and that is how I have always been!

Here in my Thoughtful Thursday posts I like to share positive and encouraging things. Things that will inspire you, or motivate you. And that is how I am in my real life as well, with my family and with my friends! I may have some down days, or rough days where I don’t feel as positive, but for the most part I am a positive person!

I hope I come across to you as authentic. Today, I’m evaluating the way I portray myself to others, and thinking about if there is any way I can be more authentic! Well friends, as always, I love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts down in the comments. Please let me know what you think about this idea of being authentic and “the real you is who you are when no one is looking.”

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post!

GOD IS THERE

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Okay friends, if you have been around for a while and have heard my Thoughtful Thursday thoughts, you might know that I share a variety of things. Some weeks I’m thinking about decluttering or organizing, and other weeks I’m thinking about more serious or deeper things. I like to share it all!

If you follow me on Instagram, you might have seen that over last weekend I went on a women’s retreat with my church. Because of that, I have been really processing everything I learned over the weekend and wanted to share with you. Admittedly I hesitated to share this, because I know faith based content doesn’t resonate with everyone, but I was really feeling like I was supposed to share this. Even if it is to encourage one person. I don’t often share this vulnerably, so this is outside of my comfort zone, but I know that is good to do from time to time.

First I wanted to share that while on the retreat I felt a little frustrated or disappointed. I usually feel spiritually energized on women’s retreats. But this weekend was different. I was not “feeling it” so to speak. I was not feeling as emotional as I typically feel on a retreat. In hindsight I realized that I was really absorbing it all, because over the last few days I have really been processing and feeling very spiritually renewed! It’s funny that I would use that word renewed because that was the theme of the retreat! I think while I was there it was hard to really process everything because I wasn’t getting as much sleep as I usually do, I wasn’t eating as healthy as I usually do, and I wasn’t able to exercise.

In addition to that, I think my mind was distracted. Being on this trip made me realize how addicted I am to my phone. Although I don’t necessarily mindlessly scroll on social media apps a lot, I do mindlessly open social media apps to respond to comments, look for likes, and read chats I am a part of. After this weekend, I have decided to set up boundaries on social media. I used to not get on social media at all on Sundays as part of my day off, but somehow that crept back in as I wanted to keep up with chats. I decided to get back to no social media on Sundays. I have also been practicing just leaving my phone in another room so I’m not constantly inundating myself with media while I work.

The main thing that one of the speakers said that really resonated with me was the idea that it is okay if you feel like you are in a season of God being quiet. You may look around and feel like God is being so loud with other people – they seem to be experiencing Him emotionally, or they seem more passionate about their faith. But just because God is quiet, doesn’t mean He’s not working and it doesn’t mean He is not present. He IS still working and present in your circumstances. This really resonated with me since like I said, I was not feeling emotional on this retreat.

One of the speakers shared the analogy of a tree in the winter. What we see when we look at that tree is bareness. It is stripped of its leaves and it almost looks dead. But did you know that it is in the winter season that a tree’s roots grow deeper? This is the season for the tree to grow deeper to find the water. We are the same way – it is in the season of bareness that we can grow deeper in our faith. Sometimes it’s in this season of bareness or season of difficulty when everything is being stripped away from us that we can more accurately see what unhealthy thing we are turning to in order to fill the void in our lives. Because of my faith, I believe that God is the place I should be turning to for comfort, peace, joy, contentment. So often we think other things – like social media, entertainment, food, alcohol, shopping, you name it – will give us those positive feelings, but those things always leave us wanting.

The other big takeaway from this weekend is this idea that God is there. He is present even amidst the trials I’m going through. I know I don’t share in detail some of the things I have been going through the last several years, but I really think boundaries online are important. Nevertheless, I have been going through some tough things. I didn’t realize just how much until one time I was talking to my therapist and listing everything that has happened in the last five years, and listing it all together I realized it was a lot. All through this time I had been praying – for the situations and the people involved in those situations. I prayed alone, and I prayed with friends. And I’ll be honest, I started to feel really discouraged, wondering if God could hear me anymore. Feeling like God was… quiet. BUT, over the past few months I have started to see movement. I have started to see the answering of longstanding prayers. Years of prayers! We often don’t see what God is doing until we are looking through the lens of hindsight.

As I was processing this weekend, I kept thinking about God’s timing. How His timing is better than my timing. How I had learned so much in the past several years – about myself, about relationships, about people. I have grown so much as a person, and I wouldn’t trade that for the comfortable life I thought I wanted. God IS present, even in the quietness, even in the trials. He is there.

Well friends, I know this was a heavy chat today. If you stuck with me through this, I just wanted to thank you for allowing me to process the experience I had this past weekend. As always, I love to hear your thoughts too. Let me know your thoughts in the comments on what I shared today, even if there is something you disagree with me on or something you’re questioning. I’m open to dialogue about it! I wanted to share a worship song that we sang over the weekend that was really meaningful to me. The title is Make Room. Today I’m making room for whatever God wants to do in my life and I trust that He can still work amidst the trials!

Check out the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post!

HOW TO DEAL WITH CONFLICT

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Okay friends, for this week’s Thoughtful Thursday post I want to talk about a bit of a tough subject, and that is conflict resolution. I wanted to talk about the importance of conflict resolution and to share some healthy and unhealthy ways people tend to deal with conflict in life. We have all had to deal with difficult relationships or situations in life that require conflict resolution skills. Really no one can escape dealing with conflict at some point in life because we are all flawed, imperfect humans.

First I wanted to share the four ways people tend to deal with conflict, which I learned from a therapist. There is the conflict avoider, which is avoiding the conflict at all costs and appeasing others to do so. There is the passive aggressive approach, where the person makes snide or underhanded comments to try to convey their opinion. There is the aggressive approach where the person is overbearing in sharing their opinions and often raises their voice or looks visibly agitated. And the fourth is the assertive approach, which is the most effective and healthy way to communicate opinions, needs, or concerns. The assertive person shares in a respectful and loving way but is able to confidently address the issue at hand.

I will share that for most of my life I was an avoidant. And admittedly, I still avoid conflict with certain people or in certain situations. But as I have aged I have learned that sometimes when we avoid, that leaves us feeling frustrated, angry, and/or resentful. I got to a point in life where I did not want to continue to live in such a way that others were in control of my emotions. Being a conflict avoidant person goes hand in hand with being a people pleaser because you don’t want people to be upset with you, and you don’t want people to feel uncomfortable in general. But I would argue that it develops deeper and more meaningful relationships when we are able to share our hurts, opinions, and needs. There may be times when you can overlook an offense and move on, but you must really evaluate if you are overlooking and moving on just to keep the peace and you actually still hold onto resentment towards someone, or if you have truly let it go.

Next is the person who is passive aggressive about their hurts, opinions, or needs. This person can be very difficult to deal with. This type of person leaves you to read between the lines in trying to decipher what they are saying. They often feel like they have said enough that the other person should be able to figure out what they mean. But we can’t read their minds! The reality is, if you have a problem with someone and you don’t clearly and concisely address it – you can’t blame them for not doing anything. Only you are responsible for your own thoughts and feelings. If there is something you can’t let go, you must address it because people can’t read your mind.

The person who is aggressive can be just as difficult to deal with. Although they may be sharing their thoughts and feelings openly, they often do it in such a way that places blame – using “you” statements instead of “I” statements. They tend to not take ownership of their feelings, but instead blame others for their feelings or for the situation being the way it is. I don’t know if you have ever encountered someone who is aggressive in communicating, but it can be very unnerving and can cause a lot of anxiety which in turn hurts the relationship. People tend to begin to fear those who communicate aggressively, leaving that person more likely isolated as others don’t want to have conflict with them. Their relationships can then become very shallow.

Obviously, the best and most healthy way to handle conflict is assertively. When you share your needs or concerns in a gentle way, using “I” statement (like “I feel blank because of this fill in the blank situation”), it is more likely to be well received. I am forever thankful for the amazing girlfriends I have here in my neighborhood. Several of them do this assertive communication so well, and it has taught me that it is okay and safe to share my thoughts and opinions too. It does take practice and you won’t always do it perfectly, but hopefully the person on the receiving end will have enough grace for you as you do your best to convey things in a kind and loving way.

Being assertive builds stronger bonds in relationships as you are able to be authentically yourselves with one another. I don’t know about you, but I think it feels so good to be in relationships where I am seen and heard. It makes me feel closer to the friend or family member when I’m able to be vulnerable like this. Even if it’s not intuitive for me, I still choose to find the bravery I need to address what needs to be addressed. And if they are genuine and true friends, they will receive your concerns thoughtfully and with grace. Even if in the end you agree to disagree, that’s okay too!

Well friends, I know this was a rough one – well, really it was just a rough thing for me to hear and learn to make healthy changes in my own life. I hope this chat was encouraging for you today! Please let me know your thoughts on this topic in the comments!

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post!

BALANCING MINIMAL AND COZY

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It’s that time of year where we all want our spaces to feel cozy! Fall equals soft blankets, candles burning, cozy sweatshirts, and baking all of the fall goodies! But today I wanted to talk about the struggle I have had as I pursue minimalism to create spaces that are minimal but also cozy!

When I first started pursuing the idea of becoming minimalist I thought I could never be a minimalist because I really enjoy decorating our home to make it more cozy and inviting. Eight years later, I’m realizing that “minimalism” is not a one size fits all. There is no true definition of minimalism, or a box you can put it in. To me, it just means living with the things I use and love. With this in mind, I wanted to share with you the ways I make my home cozy and inviting while still striving towards minimalism.

It can be challenging to find the balance between minimal and cozy for me as I love decorating and making our spaces feel inviting, but I also don’t want my spaces to feel too cluttered. For me it has just been a process of trial and error, living with decor set up and deciding how it feels and if I hit that balance. I feel like the longer I have pursued minimalism, the better I get at figuring out that balance.

I do like having some holiday decor pieces, however I also like to have some items that I just leave out year round and might rearrange them for a new look. Rearranging my decor helps me to keep minimal extra decor stock in my home, because it feels fresh and new when I move it to a different room, or set pieces up in a different arrangement. I also like having pieces that transition well into multiple seasons so I’m not taking all of my decor down for each new season.

Another way to achieve cozy and inviting spaces in your home has nothing to do with physical stuff, but it’s more about making a space feel a certain way. This is the idea of Hygge (pronounced HOO-GUH). This is a cultural practice that was first used in Denmark, but has been used throughout the Norwegian countries. I’m not sure if you have heard of this term before, but it incorporates focusing on the five senses, using different textures like with pillows and blankets, using ambient lighting, having calming music playing in the background, having a scented candle burning, an oil diffuser going, or even something cooking or baking in the oven. Having a delicious home cooked meal, or a homemade loaf of bread can make a space feel cozy! You don’t necessarily need stuff to create that cozy and inviting feeling in your home.

Another way to achieve that cozy feeling while still keeping things minimal is creating an environment where people feel welcomed – whether that’s family or friends. Focusing more on the relationships – conversations, hugs, or cozying up with one another under a blanket provides that inviting feeling. Arguably, stuff just distracts from those intimate moments!

Something else that makes a space feel cozy, even if it’s minimal, is a space that is in order. Of course I’m going to mention the importance of organization and cleanliness to create that cozy and inviting feeling. Chaos in our physical space can breed chaos in our minds, which does not lend to a feeling of coziness or peace. Just having a clean and orderly space can help you achieve that feeling of coziness, and obviously that is easier to do with less stuff to take care of.

When I first started pursuing minimalism and would see some of the images in blog posts or in videos, I wasn’t sure that was for me. I didn’t like the idea of living in a space that had sparse things. But now I’m learning there is a balance and I can achieve both minimal AND cozy! I love to hear from you in the comments! Let me know if you are trying to pursue minimalism and have that balance between minimal and cozy. Or let me know how you make your spaces cozy for the fall season!

Here is the YouTube video I created in conjunction with this blog post if you would like to check it out!

THOUGHTS ON PERSPECTIVE

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Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to talk about perspective. The other day I saw a post from a friend on Instagram and it said something along the lines of: perspective is realizing that your worst day may be someone else’s best day. I did share a Reel over on Instagram talking about this, but I wanted to share in more detail about this topic.

When I saw that Instagram post, I had just returned from a trip to Indiana to visit my family to celebrate my Mom’s birthday. On the way home, there was a technical issue with our plane, ultimately causing the airline to cancel the flight and everyone on the flight had to rebook. Rebooking a flight isn’t fun, but my next flight wasn’t leaving until evening when my first flight was supposed to leave at 12:30 in the afternoon, meaning I had to sit in the tiny Fort Wayne, Indiana airport for more than 8 hours. My rebooked flight got delayed and it looked like I was going to miss my connecting flight in Chicago. Luckily when I landed in Chicago, I realized that flight was delayed as well and by running through the Chicago airport I was able to make the connecting flight! The fun didn’t end there though. We were supposed to land in Austin at midnight, but arrived a bit early only to learn there were three other planes ahead of us waiting to unload! Some of them had been waiting for up to three hours! So, we sat at the Austin airport for another hour and a half and I was finally able to get off the plane around 1:30 in the morning!

My mom with her five daughters celebrating her birthday!

It was a rough day no doubt, but earlier on in the day I noticed a family with two young kids and realized maybe it wasn’t so bad that I had to sit in an airport by myself and entertain myself. I also spoke with a fellow passenger who had been awake for 24 hours and had been dealing with delays and cancellations all day! So, it could be worse for me.

Something I thought of when I read my friend’s post was how lucky I am to be able to fly back to visit family. Not everyone has this privilege. I was still thankful for the time I got to spend with family in spite of my adventure to get home!

Admittedly there are times that it can be difficult to have perspective. Life can be challenging and throw us curve balls, which can be hard to navigate. Everyone experiences things in a different way, so I don’t want to invalidate anyone’s experiences but rather just highlight the complexity of human perception. We all have different experiences in life, as well as cultural and social upbringings which contribute to our perspectives. Today I just want to challenge you to be aware of these differences, perhaps helping you see the silver linings in your own life.

Another thing I was thinking about this week with regard to perspective relates to life stage. I did try my best to be present in each life stage, however I know during those growing years, when we were adding to our family, moving into homes, and raising growing children, it was hard to not look to the next phase in life longingly. There is that temptation to think it is the next phase in life that will bring joy or peace. Now having gone through many of life’s stages, I can assure you that this never happens. It’s when we lean into the moment we are in NOW that we begin to feel the joy and peace we are looking for. 

I love this candid photo! It reminds me of how crazy, yet full our lives were raising three young kids!

Today, as I write this, I went downtown Austin to run on the hike and bike trail before picking up my son’s college apartment key. I used to run on this trail regularly when my husband was a grad student at UT and we lived close to this trail. Every time I run on it I can’t help but think back to the days when I was pushing a jogging stroller on that trail, or pushing the jogging stroller while pregnant on that trail, or pushing a double jogging stroller! I do remember some of those days being difficult and long, but yet I have such fond memories of that time in life. I don’t think I had the perspective I have today to fully enjoy those moments and that kind of makes me sad. I drove past those apartments and it made me smile and reminded me to enjoy the moments I am in NOW. Every stage of life will have easy things and hard things about them. When we accept that, we can like I mentioned earlier lean into all the moments and just BE in them.

My son and I feeding the ducks at the hike and bike trail. I was pregnant with our third child in this photo!

I hope what I’ve shared today in some way encourages or inspires you! I would love for you to leave me a comment and let me know your thoughts on the topic of perspective!

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this post!