pursuing minimalism

VULNERABILITY & CREATING COMMUNITY

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Hey friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to debrief with you about a recent experience I had. I joined a group here in Austin and participated in something called a Surrender Dip. I also enlisted my friend Becca to come with me so I would feel less weird since I would at least know one person. I’ll start by summing it up with IT WAS AMAZING! I’m so glad I did this. Even if I just did it one time, it was so worth it. But I do plan to go back! So I found this group on Instagram. I guess the algorithm knew that I needed to find this group! The account on Instagram is Surrender Dip Austin and I recognized they were jumping into Barton Springs pool. So I reached out to the guy who heads up the group and asked him if this was open to anyone and if they did it regularly and he said yes! Anyone is welcome to come, and they do it every Tuesday morning! I honestly didn’t get much more information than that. I watched the Reels on Instagram and it looked like jumping into a cold pool was pretty much the extent to it. I assumed it also had some sort of community building aspect to it as well. (Scroll to the bottom to click on the YouTube video I made in conjunction with this post if you would like to see the jump!)

The first take away I had is how amazing it is to do things outside of my comfort zone! I really didn’t know what to expect and I’m so glad my friend Becca was willing to come with me because that made me feel a lot more at ease. I also had never met these people and I was hoping I would at least recognize the main guy! It’s always a little scary to just walk up to a stranger and introduce yourself, even though I told him that I would be coming. But this group of people was so kind and welcoming to me and my friend! After we jumped, we all just hung out in the pool and Becca and I were getting to know some of the people who participated. After we got out my friend and I got into a conversation with two of the guys. We seemed to quickly connect about some shared experiences we had, and when they shared some of their stories it made me feel safe to share some of my story. It reminded me of how valuable vulnerability is when developing friendships or community. I was also reminded that people cross our paths for a purpose. Some people may just be for a short time, and some people for a lifetime, but I don’t think it was just a coincidence that we encountered each other! All from an instagram post! 

The conversations we had were so meaningful and when it was winding down, the guy who formed this Surrender Dip group suggested we do a quick mediation – just to process the morning. So, the four of us lined up on the grass and sat in silence with our eyes closed. It was such a sweet moment. I mostly prayed for each of the people sitting there with me, but I also just became overwhelmed with gratitude for each of them. For old and new friends. For Becca for being there for me this morning, and for my new friends for listening to my story, and for being vulnerable enough to share parts of their stories. There are people in this world who I believe are just a light. Who love people so well – and I felt that from each of them that morning.

I’m so glad I didn’t  let my fear win when I thought I should go to this Surrender Dip group because immediately I thought about all of the reasons I didn’t want to go. Getting up early to drive downtown? Meeting strangers? Jumping in a cold pool? All of this sounded scary and hard. But just because things are scary and/or hard doesn’t mean they aren’t good! I wish I had the words to articulate how amazing this experience was. I will be on the lookout for the next time I can do something out of my comfort zone!

Here is the YouTube video I made in conjunction with this blog post.

THOUGHTS AFTER A TRIP TO PORTLAND

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I mentioned in a previous post that our son Luke just graduated from The University of Texas and will be moving to Portland, Oregon at the end of the summer for his first job out of college. We went to visit to help him find where he wanted to live before moving out there. We actually used to live in Portland prior to moving to Austin, so it was fun to go back and show him around! After that trip I was definitely pondering some things about life and I wanted to share those things with you for this Thoughtful Thursday post.

The most important things in life are not things at all. We work hard, we hustle, we keep up pace on that treadmill of life and for what? Physical stuff comes and goes in our lives. But in the end we lose it all. There is a Bible passage that addresses this idea: Matthew 6:19-21 “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20 But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Of course we need stuff to live, but our focus should not be on stuff as it isn’t lasting. The memories we make with people and the experiences we have are what’s important.

Like I mentioned, our son Luke will be moving to Portland at the end of the summer. We have two other adult children, but they are currently living with us so this is the first child we are really launching fully into the “real world.” Of course there is part of me that is a little sad, but I am so excited for him. And this is what we do as parents – we prepare them to live on their own, to be productive members of society. But one thing you face as your children begin growing up and moving out is regret. Sometimes I think of all of the time I spent taking care of and managing stuff, leaving less time to spend with my kids. But I also look back and realize how much time and energy I was afforded to pour into and spend with them as a SAHM and I’m forever grateful for those opportunities! It can be easy to be hard on yourself and feel like maybe you didn’t do enough for them, but likely if you care enough to think about that – you were an amazing parent!

But, reflecting back reminds me that moving forward in life I would like to be intentional with how I spend my time, energy, and money. I know I have shared these ideas before in different capacities, but today I wanted to remind you that focusing on experiences and relationships has brought so much more fulfillment, joy, and excitement than any physical items! I’m so thankful I came across the idea of minimalism several years ago. I feel like this way of life has really changed my priorities and outlook. Decluttering and then being intentional with what comes into my home has afforded me the time and money to pursue other things that are far more meaningful!

Admittedly, it’s not always easy to prioritize experiences and relationships. It can feel so comfy sitting on the sofa, watching Netflix or scrolling on the phone, but it is so worth it to get out there and live life and enjoy experiences! One of the reasons my son was interested in the job in Portland was the quality of life there. He is an active person and loves outdoor activities and living in this city will definitely allow him to pursue those things! I know sometimes I may sound redundant on these Thoughtful Thursday posts, but if you’re anything like me you need the reminders! I hope this was encouraging to you!

Here is the video I created in conjunction with this post if you would like to see more of our trip to Portland, Oregon!

REFLECTIONS FROM A SOLO ROAD TRIP

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Hey friends, I just returned from a two week solo road trip through Arizona! It was a bit scary to do this trip, but it was so amazing and I definitely had thoughtful take aways that I wanted to share for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post! Part of why I drove through Arizona was to meet a few YouTube friends who I met online and have gotten to know online over the past few years. It was amazing to see them in person! If you want to see the YouTube video I created in conjunction with this post, I will have it linked at the end of this post!

The first thought I wanted to share with you today that I had during this trip is that nature speaks to me. I’ve always known I’m an outdoors type person and that I love nature, but this trip reminded me how important it is for me to experience nature daily for my soul. I can’t tell you how many times I teared up just taking in the nature around me. I had never been to Arizona, so it was all new to me. I honestly didn’t realize how beautiful Arizona would be. Tumamoc Hill in Tucson in particular really had me in awe! At the top I just enjoyed time up there. I took off my shoes to do some grounding and listened to worship music and I’m telling you this was feeding my soul!!!

Something else I decided to do while on this trip is to get my first tattoo! I thought I would share with you a little about that experience! At first I was a bit hesitant to go get a tattoo by myself, especially my first tattoo, but I decided it was apropos for this trip and because of the tattoo that I got. I got the word “enough” tattooed on my wrist so every time I’m feeling down on myself or like I need validation, I can look down and be reminded that I am enough. I am enough just as I am. I am enough on my own. I don’t need external validation to feel enough. So getting this tattoo on my own made sense! As far as getting the tattoo itself – honestly I didn’t think it hurt that bad. Granted this is a small tattoo. It felt more like buzzing, like an electric toothbrush or something. It was sore afterwards, but it healed quickly and nicely. There was a point where she had to stop for a few minutes. She told me to eat a good breakfast and hydrate. I was nervous so all I could do was drink a protein shake. I think I was using a lot of energy talking to her, because that’s what I do when I’m nervous. I started feeling a little light headed, so she stopped and ended up giving me a glucose tablet! I guess this is common since she was prepared! I’m so happy with the results and I have no regrets! I have wanted this tattoo for over 10 years, so this was not a spur of the moment decision. I thought for a long time about it, and honestly one of the reasons I had not gotten it was because of my people pleasing tendencies and I didn’t want to be judged for having a tattoo. But at this point in life I’m letting go of being a people pleaser! 

Something else I learned from this trip was to really problem solve on my own. I have been married since I was 21 years old and so I feel like I’ve always had that partner there to help me solve any problems. It was good to learn to just figure things out on my own! I definitely had a few snafus with getting into AirBnB’s, and issues with the AirBmB’s in general, but in the end I was always able to figure it out!

Along with problem solving, I learned to not allow my anxiety to drive my life. In those moments when things would go wrong, I would just take a deep breath and remind myself that I am an intelligent woman and I can figure things out! Being alone in general taught me to calm myself down when I felt that anxiety rising for any reason! So many people said to me things like they were worried for me traveling on my own or they could never do a trip like this. But I realized it just takes standing up to your anxiety! I truly think anyone COULD do this, but maybe they are just too afraid.

Another thing I learned on this trip is to be okay by myself. Enjoying my own thoughts and my own company. Sometimes this was a bit rough admittedly, like the one time I went to a restaurant by myself and sat and ate alone. I wasn’t a fan and can now cross this off my bucket list, but I’m glad I experienced it. I got my tattoo by myself, and visited the Grand Canyon for the first time ever and I went alone! Another thing that was really tough is the cabin I stayed at in Sedona didn’t have wifi! I actually didn’t realize this, live and learn – next time I will read the entire listing! But I really thought all AirBnB’s had wifi!! But it was good to be alone in the woods with my thoughts and it did force me to do some reading.

The last thing I took away from this trip that I wanted to share is the importance of doing the scary or hard thing in order to live life to the fullest! I really wanted to do another hike in Sedona before I left. I went on a hike with my friend Jacque and her husband and it definitely feels less scary hiking with others. It was outside of my comfort zone to do a solo hike because I am not directionally oriented. I can easily get lost. I carefully studied the map before I left and took notes to remember which directions I needed to go. I was so proud of myself for accomplishing this hike and I only asked for directions once!

I hope this post maybe inspired you to do something outside of your comfort zone! There were certainly moments that we scary, but overall I am so glad I took this trip! I highly recommend solo travel to anyone!

The YouTube video I created in conjunction with this blog post.

GET UNCOMFORTABLE

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Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to talk about something I shared a little bit about in an Instagram Reel and a YouTube short earlier this week, but I wanted to take some time to elaborate on this topic. I shared how it is human nature to fight for what is comfortable. To fight for the path of least resistance. To fight for the familiar. But just because that feels natural, doesn’t mean that’s what’s best for us. Sometimes in the comfortable we become robotic. We stop being present. We stop engaging with our lives. What if the fulfilling life you want happens when you get uncomfortable?

You might have heard that it is common for people who were abused as children to gravitate towards those types of abusive relationships as an adult. I don’t think it’s because they are sadistic, I think it’s because as humans we tend to gravitate towards what we know, what feels normal, or what feels safe. This can be true even if that may be toxic. We must fight against the toxic narratives that were programmed into us.

It’s not easy to change behavior or thought patterns. A great analogy is likening our thought patterns to creating a pathway, like a roadway in our minds. When we keep traveling down the same path over and over – that route becomes like a highway. It is so much easier to travel on that highway than to take side roads or back ways. But as you work to change your thought patterns and go down the new way, the healthier way of thinking, THAT pathway over time becomes the predominant thought process instead.

We must be patient with ourselves. In order to stop fighting for what is familiar and do something different, it takes time and work. Retraining our minds is not easy and it doesn’t happen overnight. Most people don’t like to hear the truth that we grow and change slowly, organically over time. Especially in our fast paced culture where everything is a click away, we are impatient and want quick fixes. We must learn to submit to the fact that personal growth just doesn’t work that way. 

It’s not easy to be uncomfortable. It’s not easy to change and grow. There is a reason when children grow and have physical pain we call it “growing pains.” It hurts to grow, and no one likes pain. But that pain should remind you that you are making progress! When we workout our muscles get sore. That is a sign that our muscles are growing. They are sore because they were stretched and pushed to the limit, but the outcome is we are stronger!

As I look back over my life, I am reminded time and time again that when I have stepped out of my comfort zone and did something scary that has led to the most fulfilling experiences in my life! I know it’s hard to do something uncomfortable or scary, but it’s also hard living a passive life where you feel like you’re just on a treadmill going nowhere! You choose your hard!

Well friends, I hope what I shared with you today was encouraging or maybe challenged you! As always, I would love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts down in the comments!

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post!

INTENTIONAL LIVING, VALUING EXPERIENCES OVER THINGS

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Hey friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to talk about part of my life ethos with regard to intentional living. Part of choosing to live intentionally for me is valuing experiences over things. Some people may say that when you spend money on an experience, it is over after that experience is over, whereas with things you will have it for as long as you would like. But I would argue that experiences actually last you a lifetime. You will always have the memories you make. I think now more than ever it’s important to be intentional about spending time with family and friends, or even by yourself off of screens!

This year I am turning 50 years old. I was joking with some friends that some people celebrate their birthday week or even their birthday month, but Joy is going to celebrate her birthday year! I plan to do lots of traveling in 2024 as I am focusing on this principle of experiences over stuff!

We recently returned from a family ski vacation in the mountains. The mountains are for sure my happy place! I love skiing for lots of reasons, one being the peace I feel on top of a mountain and as I ski down. There is nothing like the sound of silence in the mountains. The mountains are a place that also moves me emotionally and spiritually. There were several times where I just started crying because of my awe of the beauty and majesty of the mountains. That feeling really can’t be replicated.

I also wanted to share a little story about some of the things that went wrong on our trip. This seems to be a theme for our ski trips! I shared a ski vlog a couple of years ago on my YouTube channel, which I can link below, and you can listen to the stories I told from the adventures of that ski trip! But I wanted to throw in here this idea that it’s okay when things go wrong or we endure hardships when we prioritize experiences. I’m learning that just goes along with the territory and it can teach us lessons as well!

So, it was snowing when we entered the resort. Our condo was at the top of a hill on a small road which had not been plowed. AND we don’t have four wheel drive… you can probably tell where this story is going. We tried getting up the hill from two different entrances AND we tried helping push the vehicle up the hill while my husband hit the gas, to no avail! So, we decided we would park in the parking lot of the resort and walk our stuff the 400 yards or so up the hill to the condo! I have never experienced altitude sickness, but I think between working hard carrying bags up a hill immediately upon entering the mountains, and also not really getting enough to eat or hydration for the day since we were driving all day, made me more susceptible to getting sick. That night, in the middle of the night I got a text from my son saying he felt really sick too. I was then wide awake, not feeling well myself but also worried about him. I tried to get up to go to the bathroom, but took two steps before I passed out. I called for my husband to help me and I was trying to stand up again and passed out again! I woke up to him standing over me asking if I was okay. I was like, no I can’t stay conscious haha! He helped me get back into bed, gave me electrolytes, and a trash can cuz I was feeling nauseous. Sorry for the TMI, I did end up throwing up, but felt better after that. I thought for sure I wouldn’t be  able to ski the next day but surprisingly I was able to rally! Unfortunately my son felt sick for most of the trip and was only able to ski one half day of the three we were skiing!

Also, the morning we were supposed to leave it was predicted to accumulate close to 11 inches of snow, so we tried to get out as quickly as possible! It was a little precarious, but we did in fact make it out of the resort and down the mountain and then home safely!

One other thing I wanted to share with regards to valuing experiences: look for opportunities to experience whimsy. I find that I basically turn into a five year old child who is enamored with whimsy when I’m in the snow! Maybe this is a result of living in a climate where I rarely get to see snow, but nevertheless, it reminds me of the importance of finding joy in the little things in life. Look for moments or opportunities to experience playfulness. Sometimes we need to just stop taking ourselves so seriously!

Here is the YouTube video I posted in conjunction with this blog post.

DO YOU WANT OPTIONS OR FREEDOM

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Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday I wanted to talk about something that I have been thinking about with regards to minimalism. I have talked frequently about my quest to simplify my life. I’m sure many of you who have been around for a while know that I have spent several years decluttering our home. I’m finally getting to a point where I have reached maintenance mode.

One big lesson I have learned from this process is the idea that we have a choice between options or freedom. What I mean by this, is we can have a lot of options in any given personal possessions category, or we can have freedom from those items. Take clothing as an example. We can have a closet full of clothes, which offers us lots of options, but it comes at the expense of freedom – of time, choosing what to wear can be more difficult with more options, and it also takes more time to maintain a larger wardrobe.

You might have heard people talking about how paralyzing making decisions can be these days because of our options. The internet offers us so many options – from different types of jeans to purchase, to job opportunities, to dating partners. Having endless options can be overwhelming and take up a lot of mental capacity to sift through all of the information presented to us to make a decision on any given thing.

I have been thinking about how as we pursue minimalism, we must decide which categories are important for us personally to have options and which it’s important to have freedom. This will be different for each person since we all have different interests and passions. Maybe you don’t cook or bake much, so you can have far less kitchen and pantry inventory on hand – giving you more freedom to spend time on other things. There are some people who find that freedom is more important than options in most categories of possessions. But we must each decide what works best for us and for our families.

For me, I used to have lots of extra decor on hand. I loved decorating for each season and rotating out different decor, but as I age I’m realizing I would rather own a smaller collection of items I truly really love and rotate them less frequently. I choose the freedom of not switching out decor often and having that time to pursue other things.

Everything we own will cost us. It will of course cost us the initial monetary price, but then it will cost us time and energy to clean, maintain, organize, and store these items. It will also cost us the mental energy of one day perhaps deciding to declutter that item. 

I was especially thinking about this as I put away my Christmas decor this year. I realized it really was quite simple to put everything away because of how much I have pared down my holiday decor. And I have several transitional pieces that can stay up through the winter.

Stuff can own us, or we can own the stuff. I have learned that it is a balance trying to decide what’s important enough to have options and where I want freedom instead. The longer I pursue minimalism and simple living, the more I become drawn to freedom over options! Each of us must decide what works best for us, our lifestyles, and our families!

The YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.

LISTENING TO YOUR BODY

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Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to encourage you to listen to your body. This is a time of year where it can be really easy to run ourselves ragged trying to get everything done for the holiday season, but we must listen to our bodies and eat when we need to eat, and sleep when we are feeling run down.

It’s inevitable that we will have more to do during the holiday season probably than any other time during the year. There are presents to buy, wrap, and potentially send. There are Christmas cards to send (if you’re still doing those!) There are parties to attend, kids’ holiday concerts or events, extra food to prepare, and of course decorating our homes! It can all be a bit overwhelming.

If you are finding year after year you feel overwhelmed and run down, perhaps evaluate all of the commitments you make this time of year. It is okay to say no or to scale back. I know that is not always easy for sure! But we need to create margin in our lives this time of year to have down time and time to take care of ourselves – either special self care type time or just time to get proper nutrition and rest!

Earlier on in our marriage we would get gifts for all of our siblings and the nieces and nephews. As we added more and more nieces and nephews we decided to do a gift exchange with the adults and buy for all of the kids. Then as the kids got older, we decided to do an exchange with all of them as well. Over time I realized that it seemed like we were essentially exchanging money as everyone would send wish lists with specific items – especially as the nieces and nephews got to be teenagers and a little more challenging to purchase for. I decided that it was silly for us to continue doing these exchanges because we live far from both sides of the family and do not get together for the holidays, so I not only had to purchase and wrap gifts but also stand in line at the post office to send them. It was so freeing to step away from those gift exchanges.

Next I decided to quit sending physical Christmas cards. This has been a relatively recent decision. I believe the last one I sent was in 2019. It was a big ordeal and I understand that I could have simplified it instead of quit all together. But we would get our family photo professionally taken in the fall, I would order the photo cards, write a family letter updating everyone on the happenings during that year, print those out then stuff envelopes. I am really thankful for the years we did it and I have kept those for us and for each of our kids to have for memories, but as my kids got older I felt like there was less to share in those letters. You could choose to quit sending physical cards all together, or you could just simplify the process.

Food preparation and decorating are other big commitments this time of year. Again, we can choose to scale back. Perhaps instead of making eight different types of Christmas cookies you could choose your favorite four. Perhaps you could go through your Christmas decor and declutter items that you don’t love, only keeping your favorite items that you love and are meaningful to you. Having a smaller collection of Christmas decor will simplify the decorating process making it less overwhelming.

Something else that I am still learning to do is to enlist help. If there are tasks you can delegate to your spouse or children, find ways they can help. It’s great to get the whole family involved in prepping for the holiday season! I admit that this is really not easy for me. I struggle in general to ask for help, but I recognize that sometimes it’s difficult or even more time consuming to delegate tasks – explaining what needs to get done.

I share all this with you to give you ideas or help you think of ways you can simplify or streamline responsibilities during the holiday season. This time of year can become so overwhelming and busy, but there are ways we can simplify so we have time to enjoy the season!

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post!

CONSTANT STIMULATION + DIGITAL DETOX

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Okay friends, for this week’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to talk about something I have been thinking about recently. I have been thinking about how easy it is for us these days to be overstimulated. We are exposed to constant stimulation and therefore are prone to frequently multi-tasking. I know for me, when I have a day where I am doing multiple things at once all day my brain gets more easily tired. In addition to that, sometimes I feel like I’m not as efficient or producing quality work when I multitask.

For me, my anxiety causes me to easily get overstimulated. As a mom of three, I got used to constantly multitasking to make sure everyone’s needs were met in a timely way. Over time this took a toll on my mind. I can still multitask, but I feel like I have residual effects from that time period in my life when my kids were younger and I was trying to do so many things at once.

I recognize that we sometimes need to multitask, especially as moms. But I have been thinking about some intentional things I wanted to start implementing into my life in order to live at a slower pace and train my brain to focus on one thing at a time, and really enjoy what I’m working on and being present in the moment. If you have been around for a while, you may have heard me say don’t wait until the new year to make a resolution towards change. As we approach the new year, it could be easy for me to just wait until January to implement these new habits, but I am choosing to start today. I encourage others not to wait, but to start once you realize a new habit needs to be incorporated into your routines. So, that is what I am doing today.

I have talked before about how I use Sunday as a true Sabbath – a day off of work. I don’t do housework, or YouTube work. I mostly stay off social media on this day (with the exception of talking to people in Instagram chat). I really think this social media detox, or digital detox one day a week has been beneficial for me. I want to continue this practice of getting on social media apps very minimally on Sundays. I would like to incorporate more prolonged periods of staying off social media, which I do plan to do in the new year. I’m still in the process of figuring out how that could look as someone who shares creative content.

Something I implemented today is to sometimes eliminate background noise. I have this habit of constantly putting in my ear buds – watching Marco Polo videos, watching YouTube videos, listening to podcasts, or listening to music. I do these things as a passive activity while I’m doing some other somewhat passive activity – like cleaning, doing laundry, cooking, checking email, or even some parts of editing a YouTube video. This week I have started to take out my ear buds more and experience the thing I’m doing. Even if it is a “boring” thing, I want to learn to enjoy these boring mundane tasks that need to get done. Also, when I’m constantly ingesting input, it’s hard to process everything fully. I’m doing everything in a passive way, not fully experiencing it. I have found that when my mind is not overstimulated it has time for creativity, meditation, presence, and processing.

Something else I plan to implement is a night time routine that doesn’t include my phone. I have always had a night time routine, but I want to focus more on slowing down and unwinding. Putting my phone down, taking a hot shower or bath, drinking some herbal tea, reading or journaling, and applying all of my nighttime facial products! I think it helps to get better sleep if we slow down at night, don’t expose ourselves to blue light, and do activities that are calming and don’t overstimulate us.

Moving into the new year I definitely want to be intentional with my time and energy. I don’t want to just go through my days on autopilot, but I want to enjoy the everyday things that need to get done. Let me know if any of this resonates with you and what are your ideas to prevent constant overstimulation? There are certainly more things I could do to prevent constant stimulation, but I want to focus on just a couple things right now to make the habits lasting!

Here is the video I posted in conjunction with this blog post!

GRACE IN HOMEMAKING

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Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to address something that some of my girlfriends and I were talking about this week. We were talking about this idea that there are different seasons in life that allow for different abilities and different bandwidth for homemaking.

I wonder if some people come to my YouTube channel and see my organized spaces, see my tidy home, hear me talking about my disciplined homemaking schedule and think to themselves: I don’t have the bandwidth for that. Guess what, I have not always had the bandwidth for the way I live now! We are all in different seasons of life, have different responsibilities and obligations, and we all have different abilities. Some of you may have a chronic illness, or depression, or other health conditions that limit what you can do in this season in life. You may have young children with busy schedules, or you have other priorities and commitments outside of your home – whether that is a job or an organization you’re involved in. I just want to let you know, if you visit my YouTube channel, you are seeing one stage in my life. You are seeing the stage of life where I have more margin in my life. My kids are older now and more independent, and in addition to that, ever since Covid I have not been involved in as many things I once used to be involved in. I have enjoyed this slower pace of life, and so have been more intentional with my schedule and what commitments I will make moving forward.

Check out my YouTube channel if you have not already!

Thirteen years ago I went through some health issues that affected my ability to be productive. I had pretty severe anxiety and debilitating acid reflux for quite a while before I learned about my food sensitivities and some of my hormonal imbalances. During that time in life, which was also when my kids were in middle and elementary school, and my husband traveled a lot for his job often leaving me essentially to be a single parent, I had to evaluate realistically what I could do. It’s in these more difficult seasons of life that we must give ourselves grace with regards to homemaking. Sometimes just keeping people alive is enough!

While I have always had a schedule, even when my kids were very young, I have also allowed myself flexibility based on what commitments we had in each stage of life. While I have always incorporated deep cleaning and decluttering in my schedule, it certainly didn’t happen as regularly as it does now. There were some weeks when my kids were younger that I just didn’t have the bandwidth to get it done. In those seasons I had to prioritize other things – like my kids activities, volunteering, and other obligations outside of the home. 

If you have watched my channel over it’s lifetime (which by the way I officially had my four year YouTube anniversary on November 1st!), you will have seen the transformation of my home. While I did my best to keep our home clean, organized, and tidy while my kids were growing up, that wasn’t my priority then. But since starting my channel 4 years ago, with my kids older and more independent, I have done a lot of organizing projects and a lot of decluttering, which I only now have had the time to be intentional about. It took us 27 years of marriage to accumulate all of the things we have today, and it has taken me the last 8 years or so of prioritizing decluttering and organizing to get my home to where it is today. I organized and decluttered our spaces little by little over time, it didn’t happen overnight.

I did want to share this with you to let you know that anything I share on my YouTube channel or my blog comes from a place of where I am in my season of life. I share with you tips and things that have helped me as I get my home decluttered and organized, but I fully understand that not everyone is in a season where they have time to devote to these things. This is why I am such a big advocate for doing things a little at a time, and being intentional about what comes into your home! 

I hope if you are in a season where you don’t have as much bandwidth for homemaking, that you would give yourself grace today. I truly hope anything I share is inspirational to you and doesn’t make you feel discouraged because you can’t do things the way I do them. I only share to inspire and motivate! If you are in a more difficult season, where you don’t have as much time or energy – just be encouraged that seasons change! They always do!

Check out the YouTube video that I shared in conjunction with this blog post!

IF IT FEELS LIKE A NO, LET IT GO!

/ OrganizedWithJoy / Leave a comment

Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to talk about a quote I recently heard from Joshua Fields Milburn. If you don’t know who he is, he is one of the two men who make up the content creators, The Minimalists. They have a podcast, YouTube channel, and they even have a documentary on Netflix. I have been following these guys for several years as inspiration on my journey towards pursuing minimalism. Recently in one of their podcasts, Joshua said something that I think is actually a catchphrase that he says often, “If it feels like a no, let it go!” I am sure I have heard him say this before, but on this day it just hit differently.

This may sound a bit dramatic, but I feel like for whatever reason when I heard this phrase on this day, it was a breakthrough moment for me. So often with my things I have looked at items and think that I don’t love it, but I like to have it around for an option. I especially struggle with clothes and home decor in this way. But as I began looking around my home, I started noticing a lot of “no’s.” There were several things that I was just holding onto to fill up a space or just in case. I have even said to clients before that “just in case” is a dangerous saying when it comes to making progress in decluttering. If I truly want to get to the place where I am managing less things, I have to quit saying “just in case” and I have to start saying “if it feels like a no, let it go!”

There is this cactus print I had in my bathroom for the longest time and it is a great example. It is something that I don’t really love anymore, but I was just keeping it to fill the space. I realized that it is okay to have spaces more simplified, and that is actually what has been more appealing to me lately. I purchased that print several years ago and I have displayed it in different places around my home. I’m beginning to realize that it’s okay for my tastes and style to change. Something I purchased 5 or 6 years ago may just not really be my style anymore. I am also realizing that if I purchased something and a year later decided I don’t really like it, that is okay too! It was not necessarily a waste, because that item taught me something. It taught me more about what my style is, or maybe it taught me to be more intentional and cautious when I make purchases.

Now suddenly as I am walking around my house I am seeing a lot of things that “feel like a no.” I was joking in one of my recent YouTube videos how I could have anything left to declutter, but the reality is over time I am just building my decluttering muscles and learning what actually is important to me! In addition to that, I have now been married for over 27 years and we have three kids, and had two dogs – and that is a lot of years of accumulation. So, it will likely take a lot of years of decluttering.

Over time I have learned that the decluttering process is kind of like an onion, the more layers you peel away the more is revealed. You don’t truly know how much stuff you have until you begin that process of hard core decluttering. The more layers you peel away, the more you learn to let go, and the more you realize what is truly important to you – what you really want to spend time caring for, cleaning, storing, and organizing.

I think more than anything, as I age I realize that relationships and experiences are so much more valuable than stuff! The more stuff I own, the more time it takes away from relationships and time and energy for experiences as I have to take care of that stuff. Slowly but surely I’m getting there! Well friends, I hope what I shared was inspirational or encouraging to you today. I always love hearing from you in the comments, so I would love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts!

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post!