DECLUTTERING CONFESSIONS

Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday I wanted to share a few confessions about my decluttering practices. One thing I have been thinking a lot about is authenticity online. I think it is okay to have some boundaries online, but it is definitely a tough balance to keep some things private while still being authentic. There are parts of my life that I keep private because it has nothing to do with the content that I share. My aim with my blog and YouTube channel is to inspire and motivate people. My content is about cleaning, decluttering, and organizing. SO, with that said I want to share my confessions about decluttering as I think sometimes I think I can make it look simple.

My first confession: there are some items that I do not remove from my home right away. For the most part I actually remove all items I declutter from my home after collecting enough to take to a thrift shop. BUT, sometimes I have items that I am struggling to let go and I will stockpile those items in my laundry room cabinet. Typically these are items that I have a sentimental attachment to, but I do think it’s best to get rid of them. It does help to separate them out and keep them down there because I think it begins to break that attachment.

With regards to the stuff that I have decluttered, but really ends up in quarantine, I have a story to share with you. Recently I decluttered quite a bit of jewelry. This is one category that I really struggle to truly let go of it so I have quite the pile just quarantined in my laundry room. Unless I give it away to someone who I know will enjoy it. In this last round of decluttering I sent several pairs of large leather earrings to a friend who wanted them! But the other pieces I added to the growing pile that was still left in my laundry room. I decided to go through the jewelry really quickly to see if I was still feeling okay with letting it all go. I came across this bracelet that had the phrase “Choose Joy” inscribed on it. I actually purchased this bracelet along with a similar one that read “create” many years ago at a local boutique here in Austin. In general, I do not often wear bracelets. I find they just get in my way when I am trying to do everyday chores. I believe that is why I chose to declutter these bracelets. I was not wearing them often enough to warrant keeping them. But when I came across that “choose joy” bracelet, the meaning hit me a bit differently than when I purchased it. The artist who created this bracelet probably intended for the meaning to be a reminder to choose joy everyday. But this time when I read the message I thought to myself “choose joy” huh. Choose myself. Once again my name provides a double meaning for me.

I feel like one thing I have learned over the last several years is to quit putting myself last. Quit constantly putting everyone else’s needs and desires ahead of my own. Not in a selfish way, not in a rude way, but recognizing that it is okay to have needs and desires. Suddenly this bracelet’s message meant more to me than it previously did. AND, you guessed it, I did retrieve this bracelet from the declutter pile and I’ve been wearing it! So if you are really hesitating to follow through on decluttering something, or a category of things, it’s okay to wait until you are fully ready to let go!

My next decluttering confession is that I have had regrets on items that I have decluttered. But, honestly, it is only one category of things that I truly have regret for decluttering and that is the physical copy of Bible studies I have gone through. Usually after I am done with a Bible study I just recycle it unless it was something really meaningful and I thought I would revisit the information later. I wish that I had kept these as it might be a neat thing for my kids or grandkids to look through one day. I especially regret all of the inductive Bible study materials I got rid of. If you’re not familiar with this type of study, it is looking at the words used and cross referencing the Hebrew words for the Old Testament and the Greek for the New Testament. I have done this type of study for 15-20 books in the Bible over the years. I really wish I had kept all of those materials. BUT, I guess I can start over and save them moving forward!

My last decluttering confession is that I do experience guilt about the wasted money I spend on items I am decluttering. I have spoken about this before, but I recognize that it really is a privilege that I can declutter. I recognize that some people are more hesitant to declutter because they can’t easily financially replace items if they change their minds. I know that at one point in my life I used shopping as a way of coping with stress and anxiety. This is exactly why I chose to do a no buy year back in 2019, to reset these toxic habits. And I saw this habit creeping back in, especially over the past year, so I decided to do another no buy year this year. I do wish it had not taken me so long to learn that this was a coping mechanism. I don’t like how wasteful I was in the past, and I don’t like that I was on that consumerism hamster wheel. But all I can do is make better decisions moving forward!

I hope you found these decluttering confessions interesting! Let me know if you have any decluttering specific questions for me and I can address those in a future blog post. But as always, I would love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts today! Let me know down in the comments!

Here is the YouTube video I created in conjunction with this blog post.

NO BUY/LOW BUY JANUARY INSIGHTS

Okay friends, for this week’s Thoughtful Thursday post, I wanted to share the insights I have gained so far from participating in a no buy/low buy year. I have actually been quite surprised that I have already experienced the benefits and gained so much insight just in the first month!

The first insight in doing this low buy year is it has made me hyper aware of how much money we spend! And since I am doing a low buy as opposed to “no buy,” I’m just talking about the necessities. I’m realizing how expensive life is even without the extras! This has caused me to evaluate some of our “necessities” like subscriptions we have and if they are actually worth continuing. I have already eliminated one subscription and there is another one I believe I will be discontinuing. In addition to being hyper aware of how much we are spending, I have also become aware of what others are spending. Not in a judgmental sort of way, but just in a noticing sort of way. The other day I was watching a haul on YouTube and I was just thinking about how she was going to have to deal with all of that stuff she brought into her home – clean, organize, and maintain it. And potentially make decisions around decluttering it one day. Doing this no buy/low buy year has made me more aware of consumerism, which is causing me to evaluate my own behavior.

The next insight that I have had on this low buy journey is how much extra we have on hand. Like food in our pantry and freezer, toiletries, and cleaners. I am being more intentional with what I purchase and working to use up what we have on hand. My husband and I currently have two of our three adult children living with us, so as a family of four adults we don’t need as much as we have had on hand. This has also caused me to get creative with the food we have in our pantry and freezer and make meals around what we already have available.

In addition to realizing I don’t need as much extra on hand as I have, I’m also realizing that I don’t need as many options as I have available to me. Because of this, I find that I am becoming more critical of my possessions and being more realistic with myself if I actually am using or loving certain items. I just did a whole house declutter the other day, which I shared the process over on my YouTube channel vlog style if you want to check that out! I’m realizing that I would rather have less to take care of than to have a lot of options available to me. I also recently decluttered my makeup collection and it has been so nice to have a more curated collection, which has made it much easier to get ready each day.

Lastly, I feel like this low buy year so far has caused me to be more creative. I didn’t think I was spending a lot of time shopping, but perhaps I was spending more time than I realized or perhaps just thinking about items that I potentially wanted to purchase was taking up brain space. Now I have more time and brain space for other things, like being creative! As I mentioned, I have been a lot more creative in the kitchen as I work to use what we have on hand. Also, on this note, having a more curated makeup collection has actually caused me to be more creative with the makeup I do have! I have to get creative with less makeup to work with. I have also been more creative with my YouTube channel – with editing, but also pursuing ideas that I have had but felt I didn’t really have time for. I recently started a decluttering with friends series on my channel where I will be filming in some friends’ homes to help them get their spaces decluttered and organized.

I am really excited to continue this journey to see what other insights I gain as the year progresses! I’m also just excited at the prospect of this no buy/low buy year really being a catalyst for pursuing minimalism. I have been pursuing minimalism for close to ten years now and I think this low buy year will really help as the inflow of items into my home slows down!

Here is the YouTube video I made in conjunction with this blog post.


FUN MINIMALISM GAME: SILENCING A ROOM

For today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to talk about a concept I recently learned about from another YouTuber. In her video she talked about the idea of silencing or quieting a room. I have been on this journey towards minimalism and decluttering for almost 10 years now and I’m always looking for different ways to level up in order to challenge myself further on this journey. The basic idea of silencing a room is to remove everything from the space (or most things) in order to reset it to square one, and then bring items back into the space as necessary.

I decided to try this technique for the first time in our living room. I know this might work better in a more functional space, like a bathroom or bedroom, but I decided it was a good space to start in our home since this space was fairly minimal to begin with. I did challenge myself to remove items from this space and to live with it for about a month to see how I feel. 

As I pursue minimalism, one of the challenges I have faced is finding the balance between creating spaces which are minimal and easy to maintain while also feeling cozy and inviting. Our living room is definitely one of those spaces I have been working on to create that perfect balance. I was surprised by how much I was able to remove from this space and as I have lived with it for a few days, I still feel like it feels cozy and not sterile.

I do think when we are pursuing minimalism it can be a slow process. I know for me I have decluttered our home slowly and in phases over the last 10 years. I have been married for almost 30 years, so I decided it took 20+ years to accumulate all of our possessions, so it might take a while to declutter them. Doing it slowly and in phases has helped me to not feel as overwhelmed. However, when we are slowly decluttering we may not notice our progress. I highly encourage you to take photos or videos of your spaces as you are on a decluttering journey so you can chronicle your progress. I’m thankful that I have a YouTube channel which has organically allowed me to keep track of this progress as I have so many videos on my channel of how my home has transformed over the past 5 years.

Here is one item I removed from my living room. I am not quite ready to declutter this piece, I was just removing it from the space for now.

Sometimes we can feel like we are not making much progress and that is why documenting with photos or videos can be helpful. But I wanted to share a story with you of something that really made me recognize my progress. Over the holidays I was at a friend’s home for a party. I always viewed this friend as being minimal and she and I have similar home decor taste. Granted I know her Christmas decor was up, but sitting in her living room I realized how minimal my home and home decor was compared to hers. Don’t get me wrong, her home is beautiful, clean, and organized, but the difference was striking to me. I had never noticed how much more decor she had than me being in her home before.

One of the greatest benefits of decluttering and pursuing minimalism is having less to take care of. Less to clean, less to organize, less to manage. When we have less to manage we are able to pursue other things. We have more time to invest in hobbies and relationships, which I find to be far more fulfilling than taking care of stuff.

I am excited to implement this concept in other spaces around my home in order to challenge myself to potentially declutter even more! The more we declutter, the more we build those muscles, and it gets easier! I shared a video over on my YouTube channel of the process of silencing my living room. If you would like to check it out I will link it below!

Here is the video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.

ORGANIZATION MAINTENANCE

For today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to talk about a couple of things. First, I wanted to share how important organization maintenance is and I also wanted to talk a little bit about my plans for 2025 for food purchases in light of my no buy year. Of course we have to buy food, but I am just going to be more intentional about it.

So first I wanted to talk about how one tip in keeping your home organized is to maintain your organized spaces. Maybe this is an obvious point, especially for spaces like the pantry that have a high turnover rate. But we can sometimes neglect maintaining our organized spaces after we have done the initial process of getting it organized. Having an organization framework with organization tools will definitely help to make it easier to keep your spaces organized, but they do need to be maintained, and sometimes revamped completely like I did with my pantry as your individual or household needs change.

Our homes and possessions are ever evolving, so we need to recognize how we organize should evolve as well. As we transition through different life stages our needs change. We have different possessions based on what life phase we are in, or based on our hobbies and other needs. When my kids were younger and we had very busy schedules I relied more on processed or pre packaged foods for packing lunches or even to make a quick, easy dinner. My pantry looked very different 10, even 5 years ago based on a different life stage and different needs. Keeping our spaces organized is just one of those homemaking tasks that will be ever present! Like dishes and laundry!

The other thing I wanted to talk about today is how I’m being more intentional with the food I purchase in 2025 as a part of my no buy year. There were a lot of items I used to purchase at Costco that I will no longer purchase. I want to focus on primarily having whole foods on hand and not as much processed and pre packaged foods. This is why I decided to transform pantry into a primarily ingredient pantry so that it was easier for me to see the healthy snack or food options in general at the front of the pantry, or as I like to call the prime real estate area.

The other thing I am going to change is to not purchase so much back stock to have on hand. I don’t mind having a certain amount, but I would like to be more reasonable than I have been in the past. Currently there are four people living here, so I see no need to have a ton of extra food on hand. In general, as I pursue minimalism, I’m realizing the value of not having a bunch of back stock on hand – whether it’s food, cleaning products, toiletries, or beauty products. It’s easier to maintain our organized spaces the less inventory we have on hand! I am being really conscientious about using up what we have on hand before purchasing more and making my meal plans around what I already have on hand. This will require me to buy less. Also, if I want to try a new recipe that calls for an obscure spice or ingredient that I don’t keep on hand, I will see if there is any substitute that would work that I already have. Lower inventory equals less to take care of equals more time and more peace!

Okay friends, that is all I have to share for today’s Thoughtful Thursday! I hope you enjoyed hearing what I had to share today! Please let me know your thoughts on my thoughts down in the comments!

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.

 

NO SPEND YEAR IN 2025?

Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I decided I wanted to talk about some of my ideas moving into the new year. This will be the final Thoughtful Thursday of the year because I will not be posting the week of Christmas. My son will be in town and I want to just focus on enjoying time with family that week!

So, in case you didn’t know this, I just turned 50 last month and I feel like it has caused me to really evaluate life. Well, really I have been quite introspective over the last 5 years or so. I have been constantly evaluating how I spend my time, energy, and resources. And I have done a lot of challenging things to intentionally push myself outside of my comfort zone to try to become a better person. I recently watched a documentary on Netflix entitled Buy Now. It is all about consumerism in Westernized culture and how marketing has gotten so specific with the rise in popularity of social media. One thing I have shared in the past as a decluttering tip is to be mindful not just of the outflow but also the inflow. You can do a ton of decluttering and consistently make that a part of your everyday or every week routines, but if you continue to bring things into your home it will feel like you have not made progress.

As I was watching this documentary I was evaluating my own recent spending habits and decided that I would like to make some changes. If you have been following me on social media you might know that I did a lot of traveling in 2024. Because of those trips, I purchased more clothes this year than I have in many years. Back in 2019, I decided to do a no spend year as a way to really deal with my spending habits especially with regards to clothes and home decor. I feel like I learned so much that year. I chronicle this experience here on my blog by writing a monthly blog post during that no spend year, so you can go back and read those. But this year, as I really evaluate things, I think some of those old spending habits have crept back in. 

Watching this documentary made me realize that some of it has to do with marketing, particularly on social media apps. I was talking with a friend about it and she also mentioned how easy it is to purchase things now through links – whether that is on a social media app or through an influencer. She talked about how all the “pain points” are removed. Oftentimes our credit card information is saved on our phone, or through Instagram, Amazon, or Google pay. Our name and address are also saved. We no longer need to enter all that information in and with one click we can have what we want.

So, with all of this said, I am considering doing a no spend year again in 2025! I haven’t fully decided if I am going to do this. I have also thought about alternatively “fasting” from something each month of next year. I’m still pondering all these details. If I do a no spend year, it will again be focused on clothes, shoes, accessories, and home decor. I will need to purchase things for fixing up our home, because there is a long to do list for home maintenance! One reason I thought about implementing this no spend year is because I remember one of the huge benefits of cutting shopping out of my life is how much extra time I had! I know that sounds a bit silly. But I am so bad at making decisions – deciding which color and which size and measuring to determine which size, and reading reviews, then often having to return things that didn’t fit. It just wastes a lot of time!

One thing I know about myself is that I am really good at keeping up with everyday responsibilities, and keeping up with healthy habits and routines, but when it comes to extra things that need to get done, I keep putting those on the back burner. Like I mentioned, there are a lot of projects that need done around our house that just take time to research and make decisions and I want to focus on that throughout this next year. Also, I truly thought I was done decluttering, but I am still noticing some things around my house that I could let go of. I want to continue to focus on decluttering our home and watching to see the difference it makes to mostly stop the inflow!

Let me know what kind of plans you have for the new year! I don’t necessarily like the term New Year’s Resolutions, but if that’s what you call them – let me know what yours are! Let me know what goals you have for 2025 or what ideas you have brewing for the new year!

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post!

5 BENEFITS OF MINIMAL HOLIDAY DECOR

Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday I wanted to share with you the 5 benefits of having minimal Christmas decor. I thought this was a great topic for this time of year as we all begin to get our holiday decor out! And before I get into that, just want to make a disclaimer and say I fully appreciate people who like to go maximalist for the holidays! If you enjoy having an abundance of decor for the Christmas season and it works for you then go for it! I just wanted to share the benefits of less!

The first benefit of minimal Christmas decor is that it saves you time! It takes less time to put up the decor and it also takes less time to take it down. Around the holidays is such a busy time of year with extra obligations and events to attend. There is shopping, wrapping, filling out Christmas cards, holiday parties, and end of the season children’s events to attend! Not to mention the extra baking and cooking this time of year! Having extra time is always a good thing, but especially around the holidays!

The second benefit is that you are able to fully enjoy the items you have to display. With a curated holiday collection of decor, you are able to appreciate each piece fully! You are able to focus on quality over quantity, and each piece becomes that much more special. For me, an extra side benefit of this is that you are more intentional about what you purchase for holiday decor, not overspending on decor during a season where there is more financial burden than the rest of the year.

The next benefit of minimal holiday decor is it prevents overstimulation. The holiday season can be a season of overstimulation! This season is a time where excess seems to be acceptable – eating, drinking, socializing, gifts, and of course decor! All of this excess can be very overstimulating. We all have a different bandwidth for how much we are able to handle before we feel overstimulated. I admit that I think I have a lower threshold than most. But with less to visually consume each day, the less you will be stimulated. This is honestly true for decor year round! Overstimulation can lead to stress as well, so this also can prevent additional stress in what can be an already stressful season.

The fourth benefit is that minimal Christmas decor promotes creativity and personalization. With minimal decor, it affords you the opportunity to get creative. I like to arrange my holiday decor differently every year. This helps me to not be as tempted to purchase new decor each year. I like to find not only a different space to style my items around my home, but also styling them in a new way. I chose to style the white ceramic trees on my coffee table this year, which lead to me coming up with this whole white theme idea! Last year I styled these trees on my mantel {{see photo above.}} It also encourages personalization and uniqueness as you curate your collection intentionally and style it in a creative way. There is something to be said for being intentional with what you purchase and collecting unique pieces over time. 

Lastly, with minimal Christmas decor we are able to focus more on the holiday spirit – spending time with loved ones, enjoying holiday gatherings and traditions, or cooking and baking special holiday treats and meals. Focusing more on the essence of the season – family, friends, and memories, instead of getting lost in excessive decor will be more meaningful in the long run.

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.

CURBING EXPECTATIONS

Okay friends, this week’s Thoughtful Thursday will be brief because I always share the content of these posts over on my YouTube channel in conjunction with sharing some sort of homemaking motivation and this week I did a lot of chatting in this video! I was decluttering and cleaning out my closet, so if you want to check that out I always have my YouTube videos linked at the bottom of each Thoughtful Thursday post. Perhaps this will make up for the extremely long one I shared last week! For this week’s topic I wanted to talk about a quote I shared over on Instagram earlier this week. It is a quote from Buddha and it says, “Don’t blame people for disappointing you. Blame yourself for expecting too much from them.”

I thought it was appropriate to discuss this idea to share while I’m cleaning out my closet because for a long time I really struggled with placing expectations on my husband. There were a lot of expectations I had, but today I will talk about this expectation that he would have the same desire for a clutter free environment and therefore put forth effort to declutter. I personally decided to stop having this expectation of him. I can lead by example, and I can do things to make decluttering more manageable for him, but I understand that he doesn’t really want to spend his free time decluttering.

We need to allow people to set boundaries and what they are capable or willing to do, recognizing that they will not always do things the way we want them to or the way we would do them. I like quoting Mel Robbins who brings up this idea often on social media and her podcast: she says “Let them.” We are not in control of other people and how they live their lives so we need to just let them. Let them live their lives the way they want to or need to live their lives. With most people, perhaps not with our spouse, we only see a small portion of their lives. We don’t know what they are going through. We don’t know what their social or emotional bandwidth is. We don’t know how much margin they have in their lives. So, to have expectations of people is really just not fair. We must have a perspective shift and take accountability for our REACTION to someone disappointing us.

On the other hand, it is okay for YOU to set your own boundaries as well. You are allowed to live your life the way you want to. Setting boundaries is not unkind. We are only responsible for our own choices and if we are intentional with our time and boundaries we will be able to sleep well at night even if others don’t agree with or understand our choices. Like I mentioned, no one knows what you go through on a daily basis, or what your bandwidth is. Only you know and get to choose how to spend your time based on your bandwidth.

The key here is perspective. We can lead happy and peaceful lives if we keep perspective. We have a choice on how to react or respond to the behavior of others. If someone disappoints you I think it is perfectly fine and healthy to have a conversation with that person. It’s okay to let someone know, especially if they are close to you, that they have disappointed you. But the key is to have an open mind with their response, allowing them to have boundaries. This isn’t a simple thing to do, but I have found I am much happier and at peace when I hold my expectations loosely.

The YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this post.

PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE

For those of you who don’t know, this year I have been taking a lot of trips. I wanted to focus on travel this year in part because there were events happening that required me to travel, so I just decided it would be my year of travel, and it felt appropriate because I’m turning 50 next month! With all this travel I have been thinking about baggage. Literal baggage, but the analogies of emotional baggage. So that is what I wanted to talk about for today’s Thoughtful Thursday.

Okay, perhaps I’m digging a little too deep to connect this analogy, but stick with me. This last trip I took I had to wait at the airport for quite a while before my flight left because my sister had to drop me off earlier than I expected when I ordered the tickets. And truly it was fine because I had a lot to catch up on from being away. But as I sat at the airport with my baggage under foot I was thinking about how difficult it was to do anything. If I wanted to go get coffee, I had to take it with me. If I needed to use the restroom, it came with me. I started thinking about how it was parallel to our emotional baggage in how it slows us down.

Physical baggage is tangible and measurable. Our bags are heavy or light depending on how much and what we pack. Emotional baggage is similar but it is all of our unresolved feelings, past traumas, regrets, and grudges we carry. Just as a heavy piece of luggage can cause back pain and fatigue, emotional baggage can lead to emotional pain and mental fatigue or if prolonged, lead to anxiety or depression. I didn’t do a great job packing my bags because I knew I would have plenty of time in the airport to do that. As I sat there unpacking and repacking everything more neatly I thought how often do I do this with my emotional baggage. I unpack everything – maybe with a friend or a therapist, or even just journaling. But do I ever decide there are things I need to let go of and no longer hold onto. Are there things that if I let go of them, my load would be lighter as I walked through life.

Are you an over-packer when you go on trips? I used to be an over-packer and wanted to account for everything and anything that could happen. But as the year went on and I went on more trips I started to learn what I really needed and my anxiety about not having what I MIGHT need started to calm down. I realized that it wasn’t worth carrying around ALL that extra stuff just in case. I got to the point where I preferred to take the risk of not having what I needed in order to have a lighter load. Are we holding onto things in life that are making our load too heavy? Both physical and emotional baggage can be an unnecessary burden we carry. When you are an over-packer you have unused items that become a physical burden, and when we hold onto emotional baggage we burden ourselves with these things that no longer serve a purpose. We can hold onto old grudges, past failures, or fears of rejection, which makes it difficult to experience life to the fullest in the present. Whether it’s physical or emotional baggage, letting go often involves unpacking everything, sorting through, deciding what is essential, and then letting go of the excess.

There is danger in ignoring the weight of our baggage both physical and emotional. When we carry a heavy bag for too long it can cause physical harm, and potentially long term damage if we don’t listen to our bodies. Similarly, when we carry emotional baggage for too long, the result can manifest in harmful ways such as anger, anxiety, or depression. This can affect our relationships, job performance, erode our self esteem, which can have long term effects on our lives. We must acknowledge and deal with the baggage because left unchecked it can end up controlling our lives, dictating how successful we are and our overall happiness in life.

The process of letting go, for both physical baggage or emotional baggage can transform any journey. Traveling light allows us to move freely, explore more easily, and feel less weighed down by possessions. In the same way, letting go of emotional baggage creates space for new experiences and personal growth. We can live more fully in the present and experience deeper connections with our loved ones. We can pursue goals more easily not being held back by our past. 

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.

TIME OF CHANGE

Okay friends, a couple weeks ago I talked about feeling lost in this time of change in life as I am about to help my son move across the country! I wanted to circle back to this topic as I have been continuing to process my feelings around the life changes that are happening for me right now. Ironically, shortly after I posted that blog talking about feeling lost, I heard something on a podcast that really resonated with what I was feeling. This was a Mel Robbins podcast and the gentleman she was interviewing was talking about how normal it is to feel lost at the end of a decade of life. For those of you who don’t know, I am turning 50 this fall! Not that there is anything different necessarily about turning 47 versus turning 50, but we all tend to evaluate our lives and choices as we near the end of a decade, kind of like we would as we near the end of a year. He said it is perfectly normal to feel lost when you are in the final year of a decade. This really reassured me that everything I was feeling was normal and valid.

The first thing I wanted to share with you, and encourage you if you’re going through a period of transition in life, is that it is normal to feel unrest during a time of change. It is okay to feel sad. It is okay to mourn the life you once had as it changes into something different. It’s good to really feel your feelings and process them rather than pushing down your feelings.  

Which leads me to the next point I wanted to share. It’s so important during a time of change in life to have emotional awareness. I think it is human nature to not want to face negative feelings, and we have the tendency to lean on numbing tactics. It is so easy these days to distract ourselves from those negative feelings. We have so many distractions at our fingertips! With all the streaming services and social media apps available to us. It takes a lot of discipline and intention to process unresolved feelings. It’s important to find time to process through your feelings either journaling about them, talking through things with a friend, or perhaps seeing a professional – a therapist or counselor – to help you work through your feelings.

Next I wanted to talk about the importance of acceptance. Some life changes are unwelcome, and therefore it’s even more important for us to accept the change. You often hear in the grief process, acceptance is the final stage. As I mentioned, oftentimes with life changes comes the need to grieve the life we once had. Change is an inevitable part of life. Isn’t there some saying about that – the only thing consistent in life is change? Sometimes this change provides an opportunity to reinvent ourselves: pursuing new interests or hobbies, finding a new career path, or engaging in lifelong learning – either through a program or just self guided through YouTube or other online learning platforms.

It is important in a season of change to find things that bring fulfillment. For me entering a mid-life season is a prime time to rediscover and pursue passions that may have been sidelined by earlier responsibilities. This can involve revisiting old hobbies, exploring new interests, or setting new personal and professional goals. Career-wise, midlife may bring opportunities for a new beginning. You could embark on entirely different career path, or you may want to focus on achieving a better work-life balance or finding roles that align more closely with your values and passions.

During a time of transition, it’s important to cultivate strong, supportive relationships to help you navigate this time. Investing more in friendships during this time can help you to have that extra emotional support you need, and helps you to not feel so alone. Now is a great time to reevaluate your relationships and work on fostering deeper connections with those people who are encouraging and positive for you and stepping away from toxic relationships. Getting involved in new activities and hobbies might provide those connections for you!

Finally, I wanted to share about the importance of self compassion during this time. It’s important to acknowledge that everyone experiences challenges and setbacks. Being kind to yourself, forgiving past mistakes, and focusing on the present can help to keep your outlook positive. Also, as I mentioned seeking professional help, such as therapy or counseling, can also provide valuable support and guidance during this period.

I can’t believe one of our kids is going to be moving across the country very soon! But I am excited for him, and I’m excited for me as I see what this next phase of life holds for me. AND, I do still have two of our adult children living with us! Like I mentioned, I will be helping our son drive a U-Haul to Oregon, and so I will be gone for a good part of August. Because of this I will be taking a break from posting content in the month of August!

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this post!

DO YOU WANT OPTIONS OR FREEDOM

Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday I wanted to talk about something that I have been thinking about with regards to minimalism. I have talked frequently about my quest to simplify my life. I’m sure many of you who have been around for a while know that I have spent several years decluttering our home. I’m finally getting to a point where I have reached maintenance mode.

One big lesson I have learned from this process is the idea that we have a choice between options or freedom. What I mean by this, is we can have a lot of options in any given personal possessions category, or we can have freedom from those items. Take clothing as an example. We can have a closet full of clothes, which offers us lots of options, but it comes at the expense of freedom – of time, choosing what to wear can be more difficult with more options, and it also takes more time to maintain a larger wardrobe.

You might have heard people talking about how paralyzing making decisions can be these days because of our options. The internet offers us so many options – from different types of jeans to purchase, to job opportunities, to dating partners. Having endless options can be overwhelming and take up a lot of mental capacity to sift through all of the information presented to us to make a decision on any given thing.

I have been thinking about how as we pursue minimalism, we must decide which categories are important for us personally to have options and which it’s important to have freedom. This will be different for each person since we all have different interests and passions. Maybe you don’t cook or bake much, so you can have far less kitchen and pantry inventory on hand – giving you more freedom to spend time on other things. There are some people who find that freedom is more important than options in most categories of possessions. But we must each decide what works best for us and for our families.

For me, I used to have lots of extra decor on hand. I loved decorating for each season and rotating out different decor, but as I age I’m realizing I would rather own a smaller collection of items I truly really love and rotate them less frequently. I choose the freedom of not switching out decor often and having that time to pursue other things.

Everything we own will cost us. It will of course cost us the initial monetary price, but then it will cost us time and energy to clean, maintain, organize, and store these items. It will also cost us the mental energy of one day perhaps deciding to declutter that item. 

I was especially thinking about this as I put away my Christmas decor this year. I realized it really was quite simple to put everything away because of how much I have pared down my holiday decor. And I have several transitional pieces that can stay up through the winter.

Stuff can own us, or we can own the stuff. I have learned that it is a balance trying to decide what’s important enough to have options and where I want freedom instead. The longer I pursue minimalism and simple living, the more I become drawn to freedom over options! Each of us must decide what works best for us, our lifestyles, and our families!

The YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.