NO BUY YEAR JULY RECAP

Okay friends, this is the last Thursday of the month, so that means I’m sharing my thoughts on how my no buy year has been going so far and for this month. I didn’t share a post in June because things were just kind of going along smoothly and there really wasn’t much to share. I think it helped that I had two get-aways during that month – one to celebrate my husband’s birthday and then another to visit friends in Tucson, and so I think I was distracted from being tempted by buying things. With that said, I will say right up front that I failed AGAIN this month! I will share more about the details and also talk about why I think this month was so hard for me.

I shared in May that I purchased a couple items of clothing, so I felt like I failed in May. Although I was able to somewhat make the excuse that I purchased the items for my trip to Tucson. I didn’t have a caveat for trips in my rules because I didn’t even know I was going to plan that trip. Well, once again I purchased a couple of items of clothing. One was a skirt that was very similar to a skirt I borrowed from my daughter and really loved! And I decided to purchase a second item to get free shipping – now that’s just being wise with my money right?? But the only justification I have for this purchase is that the skirt was on sale and that really got me. Also, I purchased it from a boutique where they don’t restock items. Once they sell out it’s gone. I knew I would like it because I loved my daughter’s skirt. But I still consider this a fail for me for this month. I will say, the further I get into the year, the more difficult it becomes to stick to my rules.

I don’t want to make excuses as to why I cheated this month. I will take full ownership that I failed. One lesson I have learned in life (that is still hard for me as a recovering perfectionist) is that failure isn’t all that bad. Failure leads to learning and growth, that is if we allow it to. I always like to evaluate my failures so I can make better choices moving forward and so I can see the lesson in it. This month has been tough for me. There have been lots of changes happening, most of them are good changes but it’s difficult for me to deal with change. I have backed off on posting on YouTube as I have decided to pursue growing my organizing business again, and while this is a good thing, it is a change. There are a couple of other things going on in my personal life that are also creating changes, but again all good things! With these changes, it has caused my anxiety to spike and my overthinking and rumination to move into high gear. As I have mentioned before, shopping is definitely one of those vices I run to when I am feeling stressed. All month long I have struggled with looking at clothes online – walking right into the place of temptation – instead of choosing healthier ways to handle my stress. So the lesson learned is that I need to not mindlessly do things, but to be aware of when I am feeling that stress, or at least aware when I am starting to run back to familiar places for comfort.

One of the reasons I did a no buy year was in order to really deal with this habit I have of shopping to feel better or to alleviate stress. So I must be more on guard and aware of those moments so I can choose a healthier option for dealing with my stress. This is a difficult thing for me because I do tend towards perfectionism… can we really always make good and healthy choices, or is there a balance in there? Let me know your input down in the comments.

I did want to share a win with you today! Last week I went into Home Goods to look for some coffee syrup. Random side note here, but this is a great place to find coffee syrups at a discounted price! But I noticed while I was there, that I was not at all tempted to look through home decor, blankets, or pillows. While in the past I might have been tempted to look, this time I was not and it was quite the contrary… instead I really was repulsed by the idea of bringing more things home. I don’t know why I don’t feel this way about clothes yet! Make it make sense! BUT, back to my trip to Home Goods. I was browsing through the food, and then I went to the section with organizing tools, just to see what kinds of things are available in case this is somewhere I might want to shop for clients. This was on a Sunday, so the place was packed. People everywhere pushing carts full of stuff. I couldn’t help but feel like I had taken the proverbial “red pill” (IYKYK) and was aware of the truth. The truth that none of this stuff would make you happy. As a matter of fact, once you walk away with your purchase the dopamine hit is done. Did you know that dopamine is released during the actual shopping part – it’s the thrill of the hunt, which is human nature. But shopping is short-form dopamine, meaning that up feeling won’t last long. And then you are left with this item or these items that you now need to take care of – clean, organize, and maybe one day make a decision about decluttering it. It’s a silly cycle that happens if you think about it. You want that dopamine rush so you shop, but once you purchase it and bring it home that rush is over, then you declutter to make space for more stuff. I want off this crazy merry-go-round! Not that I will never buy things again, but it’s just good to be aware of all of this! And we work hard to make this money that we are basically using to buy stuff that we often don’t need and it creates more work for us!

Okay my friends, that is all I have to share for this month’s no buy year recap. As always, I love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts so let me know down in the comments.

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.

QUIT MAKING EXCUSES

Hey friends! I know it’s been a while since I posted here! Life has been busy, and it is just now slowing down! For today’s Thoughtful Thursday topic I wanted to encourage you to quit making excuses. Please know that when I tackle topics like this that sound a little judgy – I am talking to myself too. I have said this before: these posts are just as much to encourage me as it is to encourage you!

I think it is human nature to make excuses for why we don’t do certain things or why we do certain things in life. It helps us to feel better about ourselves and our choices. We rationalize to comfort us when we fall short, and to protect our egos from failure. But one thing I have noticed for myself is that it can be helpful to be an observer of your thoughts (or even what you say) to really determine if you truly are living authentically, or if you are just making excuses to not do things that could help you to learn and grow. I’ll give you an example. I want to read more. I have been wanting to read more for years. Yet when I talk to people about wanting to read more, I tend to immediately make excuses for why I don’t read more. I blame my high energy and how it’s hard for me to sit still, my perimenopause induced ADHD which causes a lack of focus, or how I feel unproductive when I just sit and read. The truth is, I lack the discipline to make reading a more regular part of my routines. It would be one thing if I just accepted that I don’t have the discipline, but instead I make excuses so I don’t feel bad about myself.

Excuses often stem from fear – fear of failure, fear of judgement, or fear of change. When someone says, “I don’t have time to do this or that” what they actually mean is that they don’t want to prioritize it. When someone says, “I’m just not good at this or that” they really mean they don’t want to put in the effort to try that thing and/or they don’t want to risk failure. Excuses can come from a place of victim mentality. We may believe that our circumstances dictate our success or failure. While it’s true that we may have challenges or injustices in our lives, blaming others or our circumstances strips us of our autonomy and the belief that we have the power to change our circumstances.

Making excuses may protect our ego in the short term, but in the long term it sabotages our goals. Excuses prevent us from learning and growing. It can also diminish our self respect. Deep down we may know that we are not being authentic. This inner conflict can lead to anxiety, low self esteem, and lack of motivation. The more someone hides behind excuses, the more they drift from who they truly want to be. When we choose to quit making excuses, it doesn’t deny that life can be hard or that things are not always in your control. It means that while you can’t control everything, you can control your response to things. Taking responsibility instead of making excuses shifts the focus to what you can do instead of what you can’t do.

I have said this phrase so many times: you choose your hard. We often make excuses for why we are not doing the hard thing. But doing the hard thing up front makes the long term easier or at least more enjoyable. Often it’s when we don’t do the hard thing and we make excuses as to why we are not doing the hard thing, that later things actually become more difficult.

Excuses are easy, but progress is hard. If you want to live a life of purpose, achievement, and growth you have to quit making excuses. Stop blaming, stop delaying, and stop doubting. Take responsibility for your choices, your mindset, and your future. It’s not always comfortable, but it’s always worth it. Because the moment you stop making excuses is the moment you start making progress.

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.