Month: May 2025

NO BUY YEAR MAY RECAP

/ OrganizedWithJoy / Leave a comment

It is the last Thursday of the month, so that means I am sharing with you my recap for the month of May in my no buy year. And y’all, it was a rough one! I’ve definitely been struggling more as the year progresses. So, I would call the month of May a failure month! I did purchase a few items of clothing this month. Some my conscience could justify, but others I could not really justify. I mean, I have excuses but I felt like it was a failure. As with anything in life, when we fail, the important thing is not that we DID fail, but it’s how you handle the failure. It’s easy to give up when you have a failure. But I think it is important to just keep moving forward with your goals. So, you hit a bump in the road – that is not a reason to give up completely.

Okay, so I’m sure you want to know the details, right? Or maybe I just feel the need to share the details so I can tell you all the reasons why I failed so I feel a little more justified. My first failure was something that I was able to talk myself into being okay. For those of you who don’t follow me on Instagram, I did go to the Malibu Barbie cafe here in Austin with a couple of friends. We were going to all wear pink, as you do to a Barbie cafe. I only own two pink shirts and both of them are very muted pink, not very Barbie like. So I decided I would go thrift an outfit for this occasion. One thing I didn’t think of with regards to the no buy year is different occasions that would come up that would require me (or that I would want to) buy clothes for. I did feel better that I was thrifting the clothes. 

So right when I walked into Savers, on the first rack in the front, which was a sale rack, I found a bright pink Barbie shirt! Part of me thought this is perfect. I should just go with this. But did I do that?? No. I thought it would likely work, but I wanted to look for other options. I had in my head an idea of what I wanted. I was thinking of a pink crop top or camisole type top to wear with a skirt. I found a couple of other pink shirts that might have worked, so I grabbed those. Since you can only do exchanges at Savers I decided whatever I didn’t use I could give my daughter to exchange for whatever she wanted because she loves thrifting. I also came across a top that I really loved and it was a good brand in good condition, but also a top I thought my daughter would like so I purchased that as well, although I did end up giving it to my daughter. ALSO, while I was looking in the intimates section for a camisole I came across this slip skirt (really just a slip, but a popular look for skirts right now). It looks very similar to a skirt my daughter has that I have borrowed from her in the past and really love! At the moment I justified purchasing it because I thought I could wear it with one of the tops for the Barbie cafe, but in reality I know I just wanted it! The fact that it cost $7 made it even more difficult to pass up!! I did end up wearing the Barbie shirt, but with a different skirt. I gave the other two shirts to my daughter along with the receipt so she could exchange them for whatever she wanted. I could justify the Barbie shirt, but also buying the skirt I view as a failure for this month. Although, speaking of events – I am going to a concert this week with a friend to see my favorite band perform and I plan on wearing that skirt! Does that justify it??  Probably not, but I like to pretend that it does.

BUT WAIT, there’s more! I will be going to Tucson at the end of June to meet up with some YouTube friends, and I found a couple of things online that I wanted for that trip. Once again, I didn’t make any exceptions for this trip because I actually didn’t know I was going until after the year started. I consider this a failure as well though because I know I didn’t really NEED anything new for this trip. I just WANTED something new. Let me know if you are the type who buys new clothes for trips! But I think the reality is, I am just struggling as the year progresses. I’m finding it more difficult to resist the temptation to buy things. I also think that it is a slippery slope, and this is true for anything in life. When we give into our temptations, I feel like it makes it easier to say yes the next time. Perhaps that is what was happening for me after purchasing the skirt, my inhibitions were lowered.

This is the skirt I purchased at Savers.

Lastly, I did purchase a rug and drapes for my kitchen nook makeover. At first I did not feel like this was a failure because it’s not exactly home decor. But after talking it through with friends, I realized that I was maybe just shifting my spending to items for a makeover instead of clothes or home decor. Which now we know isn’t fully the case since I also purchased clothes this month! I did also want to purchase some dining chairs for the space, but I will not be purchasing those for now. But stay tuned to see that makeover video hopefully coming up this month!

Whenever we get derailed from our goals, all we can do is start over the next day. I failed this month, but I’m going to get back at it starting today! If you want to continue to follow my progress be sure to follow my blog!

The YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.

ELIMINATING BAD HABITS FOR GOOD

/ OrganizedWithJoy / Leave a comment

Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday I wanted to share something that I have been processing this week with friends. I recently watched a video which unpacked the idea of why we struggle to eliminate our bad habits. He suggested that we indulge in these bad habits as a coping mechanism. We all have psychological needs that need to be met. When these needs are not being met, we tend to turn to the quick comfort. And unfortunately the way our society is now, there is no shortage of quick dopamine hits!

If you have been around a while, you may know that I am doing a no buy year in 2025. I debrief on how each month is going on the last Thursday of the month, so you can hear all about May next week! Spoiler alert: it’s juicy! You will want to check out that post! But in addition to that I have also been doing another challenge each month. In April I did a minimalist closet challenge which actually bled into the first part of May because I was so busy with travel at the end of April and then the beginning of May. And because I was busy with these trips I ended up not coming up with a challenge for May! But I started thinking about these challenges and even my no buy year. For several of my challenges so far this year I have been eliminating bad habits from my life – no alcohol, no sugar, no shopping. As I evaluated these challenges and the idea behind it, I realized it’s not actually dealing with the deeper issue of these unmet needs. Just removing a bad habit for a month (or even a year in the case of my no buy year) does not deal with the deeper issue. It is just a momentary act of discipline. We can’t just remove bad habits from our lives, we need to replace them with something else. We need to replace them with healthy ways of meeting those psychological needs. 

This is certainly not easy or a quick fix. It takes a lot of self reflection, determining what are those unmet needs. Then we must think of healthy habits that can replace the unhealthy habits to meet those needs. It’s also about acknowledging that these quick comfort habits release dopamine in the short term, but often leave us wanting. Incorporating habits that have long form dopamine will be more beneficial in the long run. It’s not easy to think about the long term when you are just trying to deal with the moment and finding comfort or peace in the moment. But we must parent ourselves in the moment and say, “No. This is not what you need now.”

When we try to implement different habits or different routines in life we must think about what is the source of our self discipline? Is it self love or self hatred? If we make changes in life through the perspective of doing it for self love, it is more likely to be sustainable in the long run. In every decision in life we should ask ourselves: Is this good for me? Is this good for my family, my friends, or other people in my life? – then we are more likely to stick to our healthy habits. When we do things out of punishing ourselves, it will perpetuate shame and we will constantly be at battle with ourselves.

Something else I wanted to talk about with regards to this topic is the importance of relationships. The primary way we get our needs met is through relationships. Dr. Mark Hyman, whom I follow on Instagram, has shared data on the importance of relationships in our lives. In one post he stated: “Loneliness is as harmful as smoking 15 cigarettes a day – it raises cortisol, weakens immunity, and accelerates aging at the cellular level. But science proves that meaningful relationships lower stress, boost oxytocin, and even activate genes that protect against disease. Connection is truly medicine.” This is evidence that it is so important to foster healthy relationships! I also think it is important to evaluate if you have toxic people in your life and either cut those relationships off, or I know with some people you can’t completely cut them out of your life but you can control how often you interact. If you have problems in close relationships like your spouse, parents, or children, I think it is so important to actively work on repairing those relationships and getting professionals involved if necessary, doing your part to turn the relationship in a healthy direction.

That is all I have for today’s post. I would love to hear your thoughts on this idea of digging deeper and evaluating your needs and meeting them in a healthy way. If you’re still here with me and this resonates with you, type the phrase self love down in the comments. We need to make decisions based on self love, and I think this will truly guide us towards handling things in a healthy way.

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this post.

MAINTENANCE OVER COMPLETION MINDSET

/ OrganizedWithJoy / Leave a comment

Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to talk about an idea that I recently heard about. That is the idea of having a maintenance mindset over a completion mindset. So often we have this mindset that things will be better when something is completed. Or we will feel at peace once something is completed. Once we have achieved that goal we are striving for we will feel accomplished. But the truth is there is always something more. When we live in this completion mindset, we will probably never feel at peace. Instead, we should shift our mindset to one of a maintenance mindset where we constantly have routines or habits that we perform as part of our everyday lives.

I really liked this idea. I think this explains intentional living so well. Mindset shifts are so powerful, and this idea of having a maintenance mindset in life over a completion mindset is such a small but meaningful mindset shift. In many areas of life, especially in work, education, and fitness we are taught to chase milestones: complete the project, graduate with honors, and reach the finish line. This “completion mindset” focuses on finishing tasks and achieving goals. While it can drive short-term motivation and give a sense of accomplishment, it often creates a cycle of burnout, disappointment, and stagnation after the goal is achieved. In contrast, adopting a “maintenance mindset” — the perspective that success is about continual care, improvement, and sustainable habits — leads to deeper growth, resilience, and long-term fulfillment.

The completion mindset focuses on completing something, and then setting it aside. For example, we often think of fitness goals in terms of completing something: losing a certain number of pounds, finishing a race, or completing a workout program. Once the goal is met, many people revert back to old habits or lifestyles, leading to lost progress or frustration. This is because the underlying assumption is that we only need to exert the effort until the task is complete.

On the other hand, if you have a maintenance mindset, it’s not necessarily about achieving this specific goal, instead it is about the process itself. The emphasis is on continual growth, and finding satisfaction in the day to day routine of the process. Fitness for instance shouldn’t be just about completing a goal, but a lifestyle of sustaining daily healthy habits. Learning is not just about retaining information to pass a test, but about cultivating curiosity for a lifetime. Relationships are not about finding “the one” or finding the perfect friend or perfect friend group, it’s about continuously nurturing the connections you have, working through problems, building trust and understanding.

The completion mindset may actually set us up for persistent dissatisfaction in life. After the thrill of meeting a certain goal has been accomplished, there can be a dopamine crash. Without knowing your next steps or coming up with an ongoing system to cultivate continual growth, you may begin to feel directionless. In addition to this, when we have a completion mindset, each task can feel daunting and overwhelming, which with a maintenance mindset it is a consistent journey with manageable steps.

A maintenance mindset is rooted in stewardship rather than conquest. It asks, “How can I care for this so it thrives over time?” rather than, “How can I conquer this challenge and move on?” It sees value in consistency, patience, and gradual improvement. It understands that good things, once achieved, still require attention and energy. I’m realizing that living this way is not an easy road, but focusing on continual growth in life will have long term benefits!

Lastly, I wanted to highlight the idea that when we have a completion mindset, we are focusing on chasing outer change to find peace. That is the biggest problem I find with this completion mindset. This peace we are striving for continues to evade us as we keep placing new goals or achievements on ourselves. When we live in this maintenance mindset, we can live in peace as we know in the forefront of our minds that what we are working on and towards is just a continual process.

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post!

DEALING WITH BAGGAGE

/ OrganizedWithJoy / Leave a comment

So for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to talk about baggage. I thought this was an appropriate topic since I recently returned from a trip. As I was walking through the airport with my carry-on rolling bag, my computer bag, and my purse, I was thinking about what a great analogy it was to mental and emotional baggage that we carry around with us. I saw this gentleman on one of my flights and all he had was his phone and a reader tablet. I thought to myself how nice that must be to have so little to manage while traveling. That’s when I got to thinking about how this mimics mental and emotional baggage. How much easier, or lighter, it must feel to walk through life with little baggage.

I actually talked about this idea last fall while preparing to go on a trip. I can link that post here. But I wanted to flesh out a couple of different ideas regarding this analogy of physical and mental/emotional baggage. One thing that struck me on this trip was how much easier it was for me to maneuver my bags through the airport and on the plane (lifting them into the overhead compartment.) I realized my muscles have gotten stronger since last fall with the consistent weight lifting I have been doing. I realized when we deal with difficult circumstances in life and process our feelings around them, “carrying” this baggage gets easier. It doesn’t feel as cumbersome when our emotional muscles are stronger.

The other thing that struck me on this trip is the importance of help or having a community around you when you are dealing with heavy or difficult circumstances. Yes, even strangers have helped me in the past with lifting my bag into the overhead compartment, but my son came with me on this trip and I realized it was nice for one of us to sit in the airport with the bags while the other one went to the restroom, or went to get food or a coffee. It was nice to have someone take the load for a while. It reminded me of the importance of friends and family in life to help us with our mental and emotional load.

The other thing I thought about regarding baggage, is how maybe everything I brought was not necessary. To be fair, I did use everything other than one workout t-shirt, but for the sake of this analogy, I think it’s good to evaluate what mental and emotional baggage we are carrying around and what we could declutter. Y’all know I’m all about decluttering and living with less as I pursue becoming a minimalist. And I can assure you that it takes time! Especially if it’s baggage you’ve been carrying around for a long time and it has accumulated. I have been decluttering and working on minimizing our possessions for many years now! And if you regularly watch my YouTube channel you know that is ongoing! AND, not only do I have to deal with past stuff that has accumulated (like our past emotional baggage) but also deal with the day to day maintenance. We constantly have to deal with things coming into and going out of our homes. Mental and emotional baggage is the same way. We daily have to deal with relational interactions and continual self discovery and growth. It is a constant process.

Recognizing our mental and emotional baggage as something that needs to be “gone through” and processed is the start. Acknowledgment is always the biggest step we can take. And then being aware that it will be a process and not an overnight fix or change!

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.