GET UNCOMFORTABLE

Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to talk about something I shared a little bit about in an Instagram Reel and a YouTube short earlier this week, but I wanted to take some time to elaborate on this topic. I shared how it is human nature to fight for what is comfortable. To fight for the path of least resistance. To fight for the familiar. But just because that feels natural, doesn’t mean that’s what’s best for us. Sometimes in the comfortable we become robotic. We stop being present. We stop engaging with our lives. What if the fulfilling life you want happens when you get uncomfortable?

You might have heard that it is common for people who were abused as children to gravitate towards those types of abusive relationships as an adult. I don’t think it’s because they are sadistic, I think it’s because as humans we tend to gravitate towards what we know, what feels normal, or what feels safe. This can be true even if that may be toxic. We must fight against the toxic narratives that were programmed into us.

It’s not easy to change behavior or thought patterns. A great analogy is likening our thought patterns to creating a pathway, like a roadway in our minds. When we keep traveling down the same path over and over – that route becomes like a highway. It is so much easier to travel on that highway than to take side roads or back ways. But as you work to change your thought patterns and go down the new way, the healthier way of thinking, THAT pathway over time becomes the predominant thought process instead.

We must be patient with ourselves. In order to stop fighting for what is familiar and do something different, it takes time and work. Retraining our minds is not easy and it doesn’t happen overnight. Most people don’t like to hear the truth that we grow and change slowly, organically over time. Especially in our fast paced culture where everything is a click away, we are impatient and want quick fixes. We must learn to submit to the fact that personal growth just doesn’t work that way. 

It’s not easy to be uncomfortable. It’s not easy to change and grow. There is a reason when children grow and have physical pain we call it “growing pains.” It hurts to grow, and no one likes pain. But that pain should remind you that you are making progress! When we workout our muscles get sore. That is a sign that our muscles are growing. They are sore because they were stretched and pushed to the limit, but the outcome is we are stronger!

As I look back over my life, I am reminded time and time again that when I have stepped out of my comfort zone and did something scary that has led to the most fulfilling experiences in my life! I know it’s hard to do something uncomfortable or scary, but it’s also hard living a passive life where you feel like you’re just on a treadmill going nowhere! You choose your hard!

Well friends, I hope what I shared with you today was encouraging or maybe challenged you! As always, I would love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts down in the comments!

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post!

INTENTIONAL LIVING, VALUING EXPERIENCES OVER THINGS

Hey friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to talk about part of my life ethos with regard to intentional living. Part of choosing to live intentionally for me is valuing experiences over things. Some people may say that when you spend money on an experience, it is over after that experience is over, whereas with things you will have it for as long as you would like. But I would argue that experiences actually last you a lifetime. You will always have the memories you make. I think now more than ever it’s important to be intentional about spending time with family and friends, or even by yourself off of screens!

This year I am turning 50 years old. I was joking with some friends that some people celebrate their birthday week or even their birthday month, but Joy is going to celebrate her birthday year! I plan to do lots of traveling in 2024 as I am focusing on this principle of experiences over stuff!

We recently returned from a family ski vacation in the mountains. The mountains are for sure my happy place! I love skiing for lots of reasons, one being the peace I feel on top of a mountain and as I ski down. There is nothing like the sound of silence in the mountains. The mountains are a place that also moves me emotionally and spiritually. There were several times where I just started crying because of my awe of the beauty and majesty of the mountains. That feeling really can’t be replicated.

I also wanted to share a little story about some of the things that went wrong on our trip. This seems to be a theme for our ski trips! I shared a ski vlog a couple of years ago on my YouTube channel, which I can link below, and you can listen to the stories I told from the adventures of that ski trip! But I wanted to throw in here this idea that it’s okay when things go wrong or we endure hardships when we prioritize experiences. I’m learning that just goes along with the territory and it can teach us lessons as well!

So, it was snowing when we entered the resort. Our condo was at the top of a hill on a small road which had not been plowed. AND we don’t have four wheel drive… you can probably tell where this story is going. We tried getting up the hill from two different entrances AND we tried helping push the vehicle up the hill while my husband hit the gas, to no avail! So, we decided we would park in the parking lot of the resort and walk our stuff the 400 yards or so up the hill to the condo! I have never experienced altitude sickness, but I think between working hard carrying bags up a hill immediately upon entering the mountains, and also not really getting enough to eat or hydration for the day since we were driving all day, made me more susceptible to getting sick. That night, in the middle of the night I got a text from my son saying he felt really sick too. I was then wide awake, not feeling well myself but also worried about him. I tried to get up to go to the bathroom, but took two steps before I passed out. I called for my husband to help me and I was trying to stand up again and passed out again! I woke up to him standing over me asking if I was okay. I was like, no I can’t stay conscious haha! He helped me get back into bed, gave me electrolytes, and a trash can cuz I was feeling nauseous. Sorry for the TMI, I did end up throwing up, but felt better after that. I thought for sure I wouldn’t be  able to ski the next day but surprisingly I was able to rally! Unfortunately my son felt sick for most of the trip and was only able to ski one half day of the three we were skiing!

Also, the morning we were supposed to leave it was predicted to accumulate close to 11 inches of snow, so we tried to get out as quickly as possible! It was a little precarious, but we did in fact make it out of the resort and down the mountain and then home safely!

One other thing I wanted to share with regards to valuing experiences: look for opportunities to experience whimsy. I find that I basically turn into a five year old child who is enamored with whimsy when I’m in the snow! Maybe this is a result of living in a climate where I rarely get to see snow, but nevertheless, it reminds me of the importance of finding joy in the little things in life. Look for moments or opportunities to experience playfulness. Sometimes we need to just stop taking ourselves so seriously!

Here is the YouTube video I posted in conjunction with this blog post.

DO YOU WANT OPTIONS OR FREEDOM

Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday I wanted to talk about something that I have been thinking about with regards to minimalism. I have talked frequently about my quest to simplify my life. I’m sure many of you who have been around for a while know that I have spent several years decluttering our home. I’m finally getting to a point where I have reached maintenance mode.

One big lesson I have learned from this process is the idea that we have a choice between options or freedom. What I mean by this, is we can have a lot of options in any given personal possessions category, or we can have freedom from those items. Take clothing as an example. We can have a closet full of clothes, which offers us lots of options, but it comes at the expense of freedom – of time, choosing what to wear can be more difficult with more options, and it also takes more time to maintain a larger wardrobe.

You might have heard people talking about how paralyzing making decisions can be these days because of our options. The internet offers us so many options – from different types of jeans to purchase, to job opportunities, to dating partners. Having endless options can be overwhelming and take up a lot of mental capacity to sift through all of the information presented to us to make a decision on any given thing.

I have been thinking about how as we pursue minimalism, we must decide which categories are important for us personally to have options and which it’s important to have freedom. This will be different for each person since we all have different interests and passions. Maybe you don’t cook or bake much, so you can have far less kitchen and pantry inventory on hand – giving you more freedom to spend time on other things. There are some people who find that freedom is more important than options in most categories of possessions. But we must each decide what works best for us and for our families.

For me, I used to have lots of extra decor on hand. I loved decorating for each season and rotating out different decor, but as I age I’m realizing I would rather own a smaller collection of items I truly really love and rotate them less frequently. I choose the freedom of not switching out decor often and having that time to pursue other things.

Everything we own will cost us. It will of course cost us the initial monetary price, but then it will cost us time and energy to clean, maintain, organize, and store these items. It will also cost us the mental energy of one day perhaps deciding to declutter that item. 

I was especially thinking about this as I put away my Christmas decor this year. I realized it really was quite simple to put everything away because of how much I have pared down my holiday decor. And I have several transitional pieces that can stay up through the winter.

Stuff can own us, or we can own the stuff. I have learned that it is a balance trying to decide what’s important enough to have options and where I want freedom instead. The longer I pursue minimalism and simple living, the more I become drawn to freedom over options! Each of us must decide what works best for us, our lifestyles, and our families!

The YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.