Okay friends, this is the last Thursday of the month and I had been sharing a monthly recap on how my no buy year was going for that month on the last Thursday, however last month I ended up sharing late. I have decided I will wait until the last Thursday in October to recap and then we will be back on track for sharing the last week of the month! But, I will share a teaser and say I am still really struggling. And because of that I wanted to talk about an adjacent topic this week – perfectionism. I am sure I have talked about the topic of perfectionism before. If not the main topic, I know I have talked about my struggles with perfectionism and how I really like to call myself a recovering perfectionist because I have been a lot better over the past several years at giving myself grace when I’m not as disciplined as I would have liked to have been.
Over the years I have shared here on my YouTube channel a variety of different challenges I have put myself up to. I actually used to have a series on my channel where each month I chose a different challenge and shared my thoughts on how the challenge went. I think challenging myself outside of my comfort zone is a good thing. And some of the challenges have led to some long term healthy habits. But these challenges, like the no buy year, I think can lend itself to falling back into the perfectionism trap. While I think challenges can be good for setting a framework for eliminating bad habits or incorporating new good habits, it can also cause me to focus too much on behavior. What I mean by this is that sometimes just changing behavior isn’t enough. Changing the behavior doesn’t necessarily mean a change in my heart. Choosing to do the no buy year for me isn’t necessarily just about saving money, although that is a really nice side effect and I think it’s always good to be intentional with how I am spending. For me, it was more about changing my heart posture towards stuff. I don’t want stuff to be so important to me. The important things in life are relationships, experiences, and striving to make a difference in this world somehow.
Yes, it’s good to change the behavior, but the last part of this no buy year I want to focus on changing my heart posture. By just focusing on changing the behavior, that puts me back into a perfectionist mentality, where I am WORKING so hard to just do the right thing. I have struggled with this throughout my life. Just striving and striving and never feeling enough. But I really feel I have turned a corner with that over the last few years, like I mentioned, giving myself more grace, realizing I am human and I can’t always be perfect, realizing I am ENOUGH.
There is this verse in the Bible in Romans 7:15 that says, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” In that passage it goes on to say that basically we all have that struggle because we all are not perfect. I try to remind myself that everyone struggles with this very thing. We all struggle to consistently do the things that are healthy for us and not do the things that are not healthy for us! All it means is that I am human.
Lately because of the lovely stage of life I am in… good ole’ perimenopause, which is causing my hormones to be out of whack, which is causing me to feel out of whack, I have really been trying to focus on healthy habits. I have been walking every morning first thing – moving, getting sunlight, I have been lifting weights, taking all the supplements, eating all the protein, staying away from sugar and alcohol. Doing ALL THE THINGS. And some days I still don’t feel myself. I have really been struggling more lately with this perfectionist mentality where I feel like I have to do ALL THE THINGS, EVERY DAY! I am trying to leave room for grace, but it has been a struggle. So, if you are struggling – with perfectionism, with messed up hormones, with no motivation, with giving in to your temptations because you feel like you cannot do it all ONE MORE DAY… you are not alone!
Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.
Okay friends, this is the last Thursday of the month, so I am sharing my recap of how my no buy year has been going for the month of April! I will say right up front that I have continued to have success! Although I will mention again this month that I wonder if I made this too easy for myself.
So the big test this month was going thrift shopping with my son in Portland. There was a skirt that I saw in one of the thrift stores that I was tempted to try on, but I bypassed it! I did buy several things for my son while we were out shopping while I was there. I even bought some things for his cat too cuz I have a grandcat after all! And her new collar and harness look adorable on her! At one point I was processing with him and I said, you know I wonder if buying you things is giving me that same dopamine hit feeling I get when I buy something for myself. I said it in a joking way, laughing, but there might be more truth to that than I would like to admit. Although it is okay to buy gifts for others within my rules, I’m still wondering about what I was processing last month – where it is still a heart issue for me. Even though I am staying within my rules, I still have this desire to purchase stuff.
I will say though, in addition to the skirt I saw at the thrift shop, I have seen other things online that I was interested in purchasing but I refrained and scrolled past! Clothes are definitely still my biggest temptation! But I really want to learn to keep the spending to a minimum after my no buy year is over because I am still trying to figure out a way to minimize my wardrobe!
And speaking of my wardrobe, I did want to share about my minimalist closet challenge that I was doing in the month of April. I honestly feel like I could have removed even more from my closet for this challenge in hindsight! My plan is to go through the items that I put in my husband’s office closet and see if there is anything I can declutter, then I am going to remove even more from my main closet for the month of May. One thing I did notice is that packing for my trip to Portland seemed much easier than packing had in the past. It might be in part because I have traveled quite a bit over the last couple of years so I am getting to be a pro at packing, but I think it really was also just not having as much to choose from. Which just makes sense!
Honestly this month I didn’t really have any big revelations. I think I am just continuing to see the value in spending money on experiences over stuff. Like I mentioned, I have traveled quite a bit over the last couple of years and it just makes me appreciate those travel experiences. Not only are those life-long memories but I have no physical thing to manage and take care of and one day make a decision about decluttering. For my son’s birthday we went out for a really nice steak dinner at this restaurant in Portland, Portland City Grill. Not only was the food fantastic, but it is located on the 30th floor of a building downtown with beautiful 360 views. I would much rather spend money on an experience and food like that than to have something tangible.
That is all I have to share for the month of April with regards to my no buy year! I am considering reevaluating my rules as I do feel like maybe I was not strict enough with myself. I see to be having no problems with refraining from spending within the rules I had set up for myself! I will keep you posted! Stay tuned for next month’s recap!
Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post!
Hey friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday, it is the last Thursday of the month, so I want to give a recap on how my no buy/low buy year has been going so far. I did want to report at the top that I was successful for another month! Well, I know we still have a few more days in February as I type this, but I don’t anticipate having any slip ups the next few days.
The first realization I had this month was noticing my tendency to overbuy multiples when I like something. I guess I kind of already knew this. But going through the process of decluttering on a new level and not bringing in new items, I see it more clearly. My leather earring collection is a perfect example. Now, to be fair, I have been collecting these earrings for over 10 years, and there was a time when I was wearing them everyday. But, I don’t need as many as I had. I think before decluttering I counted around 30 pairs? Which is really quite ridiculous! I could wear different earrings every day of the month! I did declutter a handful of them, giving them to a friend who also really likes that style, but honestly could probably declutter more. The earrings are not the only category of items I have this struggle of overbuying. I know I have several pairs of shoes that all look very similar as well. I need to be more mindful of this when purchasing items moving forward after my no buy year. I think this was just a sign of the habit of shopping, and always wanting the new and shiny!
I know I have shared this in the past, but I will share it today as it is relevant to this conversation. There was definitely a time when I had unhealthy spending habits and used shopping as a way to cope with anxiety and stress. Early on in our marriage I was very frugal and a lot more intentional about what I purchased because my husband’s income was modest, and we were living solely on his income. But looking back, I see that as he progressed in his career and his income grew, our spending just kept creeping up as well. Regardless of how much we make, I want to be very intentional with how we spend our money, and in particular what comes into our home. It’s honestly not just about the money anymore, it’s about my desire to live with less. I shared a Joshua Becker quote over on Instagram this week that said, “We don’t buy things with money. We buy them with hours from our lives.” And this really resonated with me. As someone who has primarily been a homemaker for most of my adult life, I am weary of taking care of stuff and I am just wanting to simplify!
Another thing I have been thinking about this month is wondering if this no buy year has been a springboard for me to implementing other healthy habits. I mentioned in last month’s recap that I am also doing a challenge each month this year in addition to the no buy year. Honestly, the challenges seem so simple because I know it’s only going to be one month as opposed to the entire year! In January I chose to eliminate alcohol and I decided to roll that into February. And then in February I chose to give up sugar for the month (which has definitely been more challenging!) But overall, I feel like doing this no buy challenge has given me more of a desire to make healthy choices in life all around. In March, instead of eliminating a possible vice from my life, I am going to challenge myself to walk every single day in March. I have been walking more often, but I would like to make it a daily habit. Walking more is one of the goals I wrote down for my year, so this is a way to build that habit into my daily routines. We’ll see how it goes!
But I did want to talk about something that surprised me a little even though it should not have. In February with the no buy year, no alcohol, plus no sugar, I realized I had eliminated a lot of my go to vices if I was having a rough day. It was a good thing that I was almost forced to experience those negative feelings without covering them up with something else. It forced me to choose a more healthy or positive way to deal with these feelings – like talking to friends, journaling, or taking an Epsom salt bath at the end of the day. It has been good to learn to replace these negative coping mechanisms with more positive ones.
Like I mentioned at the beginning of this post, I did not fail this month BUT I did experience some temptation. Remember last month when I said I told myself to scroll past the ads on Instagram. Well, I have not been listening to myself! Those Instagram ads just get me! They are always showing me ads for clothes and that is for sure my main vice as far as spending goes. So I need to get back to being disciplined about scrolling through ads!
The last thing I wanted to share is that I really feel like my creativity is in overdrive! I think this is because I have that extra time and bandwidth that is no longer focused on shopping. I have been working on fixing up our home and while I should be getting some practical things done around our house, I just can’t help but come up with different design ideas! Last month I shared a little makeover in our back entryway, and I have some other ideas for other areas of my home, so stay tuned if you like that sort of content!
Okay friends, that is all for this month’s recap! I am shocked and also so thankful for all of the insights I have had so far this year, month two into my no buy year! If you are doing a no buy year, I would love to hear how it’s going for you! Or just let me know your thoughts on my thoughts today!
The YouTube video I created in conjunction with this blog post.
Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday video I wanted to talk to you about my no buy or low buy year in 2025. I know I mentioned that I might be doing this in 2025 and I have officially decided that this would be a really good challenge for me this year. Shout out to one of my newer YouTube friends Leah, who really pushed me over the edge to encourage me to do this challenge! She is also doing a no buy challenge! She also has a discord group for anyone doing a no buy year and it’s already been amazing to connect with some like minded people!
I have done a no buy year in the past. It has been a while as that was back in 2019. I chronicled the whole process through blog posts here on my website so you can search back through and read those if you are interested. I decided to go back and skim through some of those blog posts as I wanted to recap lessons I learned so that I can get the most out of this round two of no buy year. The primary thing I would like to be conscientious about is how I am spending my time. I did learn that doing a no buy year actually gave me more extra time than I expected. At first I was not utilizing my extra time in a productive way, so I want to be sure to be aware of that this time around. I also want to be aware of not replacing shopping with other unhealthy vices. Instead I would like to replace it with things that are meaningful or will be good for me in the long run.
My primary goal with this no buy year is to really eliminate vices I use in my life to avoid doing difficult things, or to avoid self reflection/self growth. Something as simple as house projects I am avoiding. They need to get done, but I do other things and ignore them and then they keep piling up. I would like to tackle all of these house projects I have been avoiding, some for years. I think this shift will also help me to be more creative in general, and help me to step outside of my comfort zone more.
Another reason I want to do this is because I recognize that when you are trying to pursue minimalism or a simplified life, it is important to pay attention to the inflow as much as decluttering or the outflow. If we are continuing to purchase things without being intentional about our purchases, we can end up just constantly working at decluttering but not see much progress.
SO, let’s get to the details of this now buy year. Obviously it’s technically more of a low buy year because I will be purchasing basic necessity items. I will be purchasing food, toiletries, cleaners and anything I need for basic everyday needs. However, with regard to food, I will not be buying as much processed food as I have in the past. I will keep some convenience foods on hand, because I know for our family right now it’s impractical to not have any on hand. I will be transforming my pantry into a primarily ingredient based pantry and I will be sharing that process on my YouTube channel later this month! I will talk in more detail about food and how that will play out with my no buy year in the video where I makeover my pantry!
The main thing I want to focus on for this no buy year is clothing. I know that my biggest vice is shopping for clothes. I do feel like after my previous no buy year I got much better at being intentional with what came into my house in general, but even with clothes. I feel like slowly over the last 5 years I have gotten worse about truly being intentional, so this no buy year will be a reset for me. The only exceptions will be if I need to replace something – but I will be really ruthless with myself if it ACTUALLY needs to be replaced. The other exception will be purchasing a dress for my sister’s wedding. I may be able to use one I have, but I will allow myself to purchase a new one for that occasion. In addition to clothing I also will not purchase any new shoes or accessories. Again, I do have one exception because I really need a new computer bag, which I have been on the hunt for all year without luck! I also will not be purchasing any new home decor. But I will be purchasing items for all of those home projects that need to get done!
One category I want to address is health and beauty. I will purchase items that run out or need to be replaced, but I have a good morning and evening skin care routine that I am going to stick to and I’m not going to purchase additional products. I also regularly purchase vitamins and supplements and I will continue to purchase those as well as I find that health and fitness are one of my top priorities.
I am really excited about what this year will bring with this huge challenge I am undertaking! I’m also nervous, because I do remember that it was definitely difficult the last time I did it! I would love to hear what your thoughts are about this no buy year challenge. Have you ever done anything like this? If so, what was your experience with it? I would love to hear from you in the comments!
The YouTube video I shared in conjunction to this blog post.
Wow. I can’t believe it’s the beginning of 2020, and I completed my no spend year! It was definitely an insightful year, and I have plans for different shopping habits moving forward. I have learned so much, and I want to implement changes based on what I’ve learned.
One of the most insightful things, and something that kept coming up in each month’s reflections, was how much more time I had. I didn’t realize how much time I spent shopping. At first it was difficult to figure out what to do with that extra time, and I basically replaced shopping with other indulgent things – watching more Netflix and YouTube, and eating more treats than usual for me. Once I figured that out, I was able to shift that time/energy into more productive things. I worked on some house projects, and later in the year focused on marketing my organizing business through transitioning my website to WordPress, and consistently writing blog posts. In addition to this, I started more consistently posting on my business social media accounts. In the beginning of November I even started a YouTube channel in conjunction with my business, sharing organizing tips and tricks. These avenues of expressing my creativity has been so fulfilling!
This year did not come without bumps and failures. I noticed I struggled when I would bend the rules a bit that I had set in place. If anyone is interested in doing some sort of spending fast, I would suggest being very explicit and detailed with your rules. One rule I had was that I could purchase things for special occasions, unless I had something that would work. While I did have some “wins” choosing to use what I had instead of purchasing something new, I learned that when I did choose to buy things for special occasions it was a slippery slope. The thing I struggled with the most was using the Poshmark app. I was able to sell many pieces of clothing that I wanted purge from my closet, however while in the app managing my items, I would see things that I liked. If you’re not familiar with PM, it’s similar to social media where you can “like” items. When you like an item, often times the seller will send you a discounted deal to entice you to buy their items. This is a technique that I myself use to sell items. I did mostly use the money from my own sales to buy the items that were a deal too good to pass up, however, again it was a slippery slope and I started justifying that I was only off by a little and would “make up for it” with future sales.
An outfit I purchased with my Poshamark credits.
In the beginning of the year, I struggled with that feeling of being drawn to things or really wanting them, but that feeling began to taper off with time. When I would fall into one of those time periods of the slippery slope, that feeling would come back again. One thing I noticed right away is how influenced I was by “influencers.” I would want something I saw someone else had, but in hindsight I’m glad I didn’t purchase those items because it would have been an impulse purchase and not something that I was being intentional and thoughtful about. I want to stay aware that this is why they are called “influencers” and to not be pulled into that sort of marketing. In general, I want to notice when I want to impulse buy things. I also became a little disenchanted with YouTube hauls. I’m not opposed to influencer marketing, but I want my purchases to be well thought through and not an impulse buy. If I see something an influencer is sharing, I will make a thoughtful, educated decision about if I need the product.
There were a few other things I learned through this journey. Stepping away from the consumerist mindset that I had been entrenched in, I could see more clearly. It’s hard to explain, but when I would be out shopping and saw someone dumping things in their cart, I was almost saddened – like I wanted to “enlighten” them. I’ve also learned about the effects consumerism has on our environment, particularly the fast fashion industry. In addition to this, not bringing new pieces of clothing in my wardrobe over the past year – other than select pieces which I purchased for our trip to Hawaii and the pieces I purchased using my Poshmark credits – it was easier for me to pinpoint my style. I’m beginning to look at my closet completely differently and I foresee another purge coming! Lastly, I was confronted by this idea of decision fatigue. One day while shopping for something specific at Target, I realized how easy the decision seemed. I found it odd, because in the past a decision like this would have been difficult for me. I always felt like I was making the wrong decision. I realized that what I used to do prior to the no spend year, was browse through all my favorite sections in Target. I would find things I liked and wanted and had to make decisions about – on the spot! – if I was going to purchase those items. But this time, I didn’t have to make any of those decisions. That’s when it clicked! I suffered from decision fatigue in Target! By the time I actually got to the items on my list, I was already tired of making decisions.
I had some deeper thoughts about spending, shopping, and my habits in particular. I realized that shopping was a way for me to fill my time – one way to find purpose and meaning in my life. I still love to make our home cozy and beautiful, but I see now that I can do that in a more intentional way rather than just throwing items into a cart at Target. There is also certainly nothing wrong with putting together creative outfits, but moving forward I want to be more thoughtful about what pieces I bring into my wardrobe. As the year progressed, I realized that my attention and energy on making our home beautiful and putting together beautiful outfits was just covering up moving forward in other areas of life – my business and my blog in particular. I was focusing on an area where I felt confident, and wouldn’t fail. I was unaware of how much fear had changed the path in my life. I feared failure and I feared rejection. Now I feel confident that even if I fail, or get rejected THAT’S OKAY. Failure is not bad. Failure teaches us. We learn, and make different choices moving forward. I also came to terms with the idea that I’m not going to please everyone, and not everyone will like me. AND THAT’S OKAY
I did want to address December, and how I fared. I noticed halfway through the month I had some credit in my Poshmark app and decided to use the rest of it since it was the end of the year. Again, I spent a little more than I had available {{darn that slippery slope!}} however just this week I sold two more items! I’m clearly STILL struggling with wanting new clothes AND it’s the end of my no spend year! That is why moving forward I have a plan in place.
Items I purchased with my Poshmark credits in December.
So, what are my plans moving forward?? To sum it up, next year will be my Intentional Spending Year. I’m glad I spent this year retraining my spending habits. Here are the specifics:
➤No more impulse spending. I will not immediately click links from influencers or purchase items I see in a store which is not on my list until I’ve given it at least 24 hours to think about it.
➤I will first go to thrift stores or small businesses to purchase clothing and home decor. For clothing, I am going to be using the Poshmark app so I can find intentional pieces to add to my wardrobe. I want my decor to be more intentional and curated as well. I would like to purchase vintage as much as possible.
➤I will no longer buy clothing items or home decor from places like Target, Wal-mart, or Home Goods unless there is something specific that I can’t find thrifted or through small businesses.
➤When going to Target, I will not browse through clothes or home decor. I will stick to my list.
➤I will ACTUALLY stick to the “one in, one out” rule. I have tried doing this in the past, but have not succeeded. I will only purchase new clothes if I have a hanger or space for those items in my dresser or closet.
Thank you to anyone who followed me on this journey! I hope to inspire you to try a spending fast – maybe you feel intimidated doing a whole year… you could start with just one or two months first. I want to inspire you to evaluate your spending habits, and think about where you could make some changes.
Here is Part 1 of the YouTube video I made with this information!
Here is Part 2 of the YouTube video I made with this information!
Wow. It’s December and I only have one more month to go in my no spend year! It’s been such an interesting and informative challenge for me. I know moving forward into 2020 I will need a plan to be intentional with my spending habits. I wanted to share how things went in the month of November. I have mostly continued to glide along this month, as I did in October. I just have a couple things to share.
First, all year long I have noticed that my creativity has skyrocketed! I’m not totally sure if this is due to the no spend year and the extra time that afforded me or due to taking some scary steps, like working on my website and starting a YouTube channel. I have been learning so many new skills over the past several months. However, my creativity in regards to styling my home has caused me to purchase a couple of larger items (small decor like tchotchkes and wall art were included in this no spend year, but larger pieces like furniture were not). I ended up sprucing up one of our rooms – purchasing a coffee table (cheap + second hand at Salvation Army) and an area rug. Have you ever read that children’s book “If You Give A Mouse A Cookie”? The idea is that one thing seems to lead to another. I found that amazing vintage coffee table, but it looked off with our wood floors, hence the rug! In any case, I’m wondering if my spending habits have just shifted away from clothing and home decor to other things.
The next story I wanted to share is about a visit to one of those large last chance Goodwill stores. As a poor college student, my daughter loves shopping at this place. If you’re not familiar with it, you pay by the pound. Everything is stored in huge plastic rolling bins. It can be a sport to wade through all of it, but many times you can find gems. Whenever my daughter is home, we like to go together for fun. I mostly find it an interesting place to people watch, but I have found some unique and cool clothing pieces there in the past. On this occasion, we purchased 9 items, and the total came to $8.88! I wasn’t going to get anything, but I did find an Ann Taylor blouse and a pair of Levis shorts, both in great condition. I plan to sell the blouse in my Poshmark closet. I haven’t decided about the shorts because I do like them! AND they fit me! AND they were only $1! UGH… the justifying! So, if I keep the shorts, once again this month I technically failed. However, I still feel like I’ve learned so much this year and have grown from this experience.
Here are some of the things I am thinking about doing moving into the new year.
➤Buying things used – thrifting for clothing and home decor. Purchasing vintage home decor when I can.
➤I would like to support small businesses, rarely if ever purchasing clothes and home decor from places like Target. I want my clothing and items in my home to be more curated.
➤Speaking of Target, I would like to stop shopping for entertainment. I will go into Target with a list.
➤I want to be more intentional with my wardrobe. I hope to have some time within the next two weeks to assess my clothes again, and see if there is anything else I can get rid of.
I have actually enjoyed the freedom of not making decisions. I go shopping for other needed items for our family, and I don’t even have to think about making a decision on items I see and like. I’m learning to appreciate the item in the store without having to purchase it and take it home. I’m excited to read back through all my blog posts this year to compile all I’ve taken away from this year in my next No Spend Year Reflections post in January!
I would say the month of October was a win for my no spend year! I quit browsing through the Poshmark app, as I intended to do. Having that distraction cut from my life not only prevented me from breaking my rules, but also gave me more clarity. This month was for sure a month of a deeper understanding of the root cause of my spending habits. I have been waiting all year to have these kinds of revelations, and exactly what I was hoping for with this no spend year.
First, I will talk about the one thing I did purchase. I purchased a top for our annual family photos. I will assemble that with other clothing items I already own for the outfit. I will revisit the rules I set in place in case this is the first time you are stumbling upon my blog. I am allowed to purchase items for special occasions.
I purchased this velvet top from Poshmark to pair with other items in my wardrobe for our annual family photos.
The main thing that I have been evaluating this month is the idea that there are root issues in all of our lives which hold us back from living more fully. These issues can easily get covered up with distractions. For me, that distraction was shopping. For someone else it may be binging Netflix, eating too much or unhealthy foods, drug/alcohol use, and many more vices. It’s difficult to do the work of reflecting on what holds us back in our lives when we don’t leave space for that work. I think it is natural to want to distract ourselves from these issues and not deal with them. Reflecting on our lives and making necessary changes is difficult!
As I reflected, I realized I used shopping as a way to find value and stay busy. It’s in my nature to make things beautiful. I love organizing, decorating, and putting together creative outfits. I feel safe in these areas – meaning I have confidence I can do them well. We all have a certain amount of time and energy in each day. I was using shopping, and organizing, and decorating, and putting together new outfits as a creative outlet. This was hindering me from growing my organizing business – which is scary and requires facing unknowns. I used these things as a distraction from dealing with the root issue of fear in my life: fear of rejection and fear of failure. I’m growing. I’m moving outside my comfort zone. I’m trying new things. I’m beginning to grasp that if this new thing or that new thing fails, or if I’m rejected, THAT’S OKAY. At least I put myself out there. At least I tried.
Over the last month, I have been promoting my business more via word of mouth. Owning and saying “I’m a professional organizer,” instead of saying, “I’m a SAHM, but I kinda, sorta started a business.” I also updated my LinkedIn profile. I recently started a YouTube channel, where I will be sharing organizing tips. I’m beginning to lean into my giftings as a creative in a way that brings more purpose.
Here is my first YouTube video. My plan is to make one video per week. Would love for you to check it out!
One other thing that I thought about during this month is decision fatigue, which can waste our time or worse paralyze us from moving forward. I had some items that I needed to purchase at Target. Items in which I would have to make decisions. In the past, these decisions felt overwhelming or I felt like I was always making the wrong decision. This time, it didn’t feel that way. I instead felt confident in my decisions. I wondered if it was because when I used to shop at Target, prior to this no spend year, I would go in with a list but get sucked into the dollar spot, the home decor section, or the clothing section. I would see things I liked or wanted and I would have to make decisions about those items – on the spot! After walking through Target, I was completely done with making decisions, perhaps even before I got to the items that were actually on my list!
I’m still in the process of thinking through what I would like to do moving forward into 2020. I do think I’m going to be intentional about sticking to my list, especially in places like Target or Home Goods where it’s easy to get sucked into browsing. Share with me any ideas you have on dealing with consumerism in your life. What types of “rules” do you have in place for yourself? A budget? Certain number of clothing or home decor items purchased per month or per year? I do want to have a plan as we move into the new year!
Well, here I am officially more than halfway through my no spend year. July was another month in which I really struggled. Looking back, I think I made excuses and to be completely transparent, I feel like this is the month that I have failed. But, failure equals learning. I am beginning to realize that failing is okay. Not “okay” as in don’t try, but as in failing at something leads you closer to success as it is an opportunity to learn how to do things differently moving forward.
This is the backpack I got for our trip. I did get it off Poshmark with my credits.
Let’s start by talking about a couple of the “rules” which I made that led to the choices from this month, that looking back I might have done differently. The first rule was that I could buy things for special occasions, unless I already had something that worked. This month, my husband and I took our son – who just graduated from high school – on a special trip to Hawaii to celebrate his accomplishments and to spend time with him before he went off to college. Usually when we have a trip like this, I like to purchase things specifically for the trip. I like to have new outfits that work well for whatever location we are going. The first thing I purchased for this trip was a new backpack. I don’t own a backpack. I usually use an over-sized purse for my carry on item, but we would be doing several hikes which I would need a backpack. With this item, I could have used one of my husbands old backpacks, but that wouldn’t have looked cute/feminine 🙂 so I justified that it was necessary to have my own.
I purchased these dresses and sandals for the trip as well.
I also chose to buy a few new dresses, as I did not have any lighter colored/summer specific dresses. Looking back, the dresses were not necessary as we ended up getting take out most nights as we were really tired after the long day doing active things. The two times we went out was to very casual restaurants. I also bought a new pair of shorts, as I only had one pair that fit me comfortably. I had gotten rid of several pairs of shorts that didn’t fit me during a closet clean out. I also purchased a linen shirt that I thought would work well in Hawaii – looks and for the climate. Lastly, I purchased a pair of sandals. This was one item that I didn’t really need, but I was going for a specific look and the sandals I owned did not look right with these outfits/dresses. I say I feel like I failed this month because I know I could have done without these items. I had a specific look in mind for this trip, and I justified it by telling myself that these pictures would last a lifetime. Even as I type this, it seems a bit ridiculous, but it’s where my brain was at when purchasing these items.
I purchased this shirt and these shoes with my Poshmark credits from what I had sold.
Another “rule” I gave myself is that I could use gift cards to purchase things. I do have a gift card to an online clothing boutique, which I still have not used. I have sold several pieces on Poshmark, and had “credits” – which I talked myself into believing was like a gift card. I did use my credit to purchase a shirt and a pair of shoes. The shoes in particular have been something I have had my eye on for a long time now, longer than before this no spend year. The shirt I got to replace a similar long sleeve shirt – which I liked but rarely wore since I don’t wear long sleeves often. If I’m cold in the winter I tend to layer instead. I am happy with these purchases, and I feel they fit well in my wardrobe, however in hindsight I’m not sure I should have used the credits like a gift card. Poshmark has been good and bad for me. It has been great to sell my items and get some money back, and knowing the items will be loved by someone else. It has been amazing to get such good deals on items, and it’s always good to buy clothes second hand. HOWEVER, when I go on the app to manage my items I have to force myself to NOT LOOK at what’s available. Moving forward, I would like to use this app, but only to look for something specific. It’s really hard to pass up these good deals! I haven’t fully decided yet if I should continue to look at the money I make as a gift card or not.
I continue to not really struggle with wanting/being tempted by home decor purchases. If anything, I feel like I have plenty and I don’t want more. I am learning to appreciate items I see in the store, and not have this need to take it home with me. We’ll see how I feel this fall as it’s my favorite season and I love all things pumpkin!!
This month has been eye-opening. I have learned what a slippery slope it is in justifying purchases. I feel like I am STILL – 7 months in – not at a place where I feel restrained in my purchases. I want to get to a place where I am completely intentional with my purchases, and after this month I just don’t feel “there” yet. I am hopeful that in the next five months I will continue to learn and grow.
One other thing I find myself noticing over these last 7 months, is consumerism mentality. When I was in it, I don’t think I noticed how time-consuming and distracting it was to my life. Being an “outsider” I notice people’s behavior when I am out shopping. I’m not sure I’m able to put words to what I’ve seen, but the best way I can describe it is like we’re ruled by things – our time, money, thoughts, energy. I don’t want to live this way anymore. I love beautiful things. I like putting outfits together and making my home beautiful, but I don’t want that to dictate my life. My hope is that after this year, my brain will be re-trained!
Well, there goes another month in my no spend year! June went by so fast I barely noticed being bothered by the no spend. That’s not to say I did not see things I wanted. I looked back at the journal I’ve been keeping and there were some things scribbled down at the end of May that I was obsessing over. Again, I have really only wanted clothing items. I continue to enjoy the fact that I have not brought in any new household items, and I continue to declutter them!
Some of the items in my Poshmark closet.
This month, I started the process of cleaning out my closet. I did this a little over a year ago, but obviously more things had come in since the last declutter of my closet. As I mentioned in a previous post, I have been selling things on Poshmark. It has been so freeing letting things go, and even better to get some money back!
This is the current state of my closet. I know I still have a lot, but I plan to do another declutter in late fall.
I waited quite a while in the no spend year before tackling a closet declutter. In part because I have noticed clothing is the thing I am struggling most in the no spend. As I have stopped the inflow of clothing, I’m learning what specifically my style is. I have noticed the things I gravitate towards, and the things I tend to not wear. I have also been doing this experiment where I wear items that I know I haven’t worn in a while, and if I don’t feel fabulous in it, it goes! When new clothing items were constantly entering my wardrobe, it was hard to tell what my style was and I would often gravitate towards wearing the new items – because they were new!!
I have been using Pinterest as another reference to see what types of clothes I tend to like. In the past, I used my style board on Pinterest as a place to pin outfits that would work with items I already owned. As I go back and see what I like, I’m able to weed out even more items that I know I don’t wear – usually it’s items I once liked, as I have seen my style change over the last 8-10 years, or it’s items that I thought I would like but ended up wearing them very little or not at all.
I’m still working on my closet clean out as of today. I have been struggling to know how much to keep. I tend to wear a uniform, and I like variety within that uniform, so I’m struggling to let go. I gravitate towards plain shirts – white, grey, and black, but I have a variety of styles of each color of shirt. It’s a work in progress for sure! Even for me – a fairly organized person!
Our bedroom’s new look!
The final thing I wanted to talk about is how I have continued to feel like I have so much more energy and time. I have been working on all kinds of house projects. I painted our bedroom and the trim to freshen it up. I have started to paint the trim in the remainder of our upstairs as well! I was able to get my extra clothes uploaded to Poshmark and organized so it’s easy to package them up to send off. I have actually sold several pieces! Most recently I have been teaching our youngest son to drive as he just got his permit.
This is exciting… I’m nearing the half -way point in my no spend year! I’m not gonna lie, May was rough. I found myself fighting with the temptation to make excuses to spend. If I were to do this again, I might be more explicit in my rules so that they could not be bent.I don’t know if it was the justification in April for the purse, or if it’s just “the wall” you hit in any long-term endeavor. Have any of you have ever run a long distance race? For those of us who have, you know there is this point in the run that you have to self talk your way to finishing. You hit “the wall.” You have every excuse as to why you should stop and not finish. This is something most long distance runners know about and are prepared for. It is at this point in your commitment to finish the race that your resolve comes from self-talk, like mind-over-matter! This was May for me.
This was the dress I wanted to purchase from Altar’d State.
My story is about a dress. In my “rules” that I laid out prior to starting the no spend year, I said that I will allow myself to buy things for special occasions ONLY IF I had nothing else that woul work. Well, my son’s graduation was approaching and I told myself that I needed a new dress for this occasion. Forget the fact that I own about 12 dresses currently, and barely ever wear dresses! I believed that I needed a different one for this occasion. So, I began the process of shopping for a dress. I was going to be intentional. I was going to wait to purchase a dress after allowing at least 24 hours to marinate and decide if I really loved it. I tried on dresses at a handful of stores, and there was one dress that I really loved at Altar’d State – a store that fits the bill for ethical practices. After thinking about it a couple of days, I decided to go back to buy the dress. When I get to the register, the sales person reminds me that the dresses are buy one, get one 50% off. SIGH. I know this, and I came to the register with one dress because I only need one dress. But, in that moment I again begin to justify and compromise. I decide I will grab that other dress that I saw that would be great for our trip to Hawaii we are taking this summer. Even as I drive home I’m thinking this was all a bad idea. I think about how much time I’ve already wasted driving, trying things on, thinking about THESE DRESSES!
When I get home I try on the dress with the bra and shoe options I thought would work, and suddenly I hate it. I realize in the light of my own full-length mirror that this dress does not look good on my body type. For another two days I think about these dresses. I go back to where I had written down my “rules” and read the words again, “ONLY IF I have nothing else that works.” I know I have several dresses that could be styled in different ways to make something work. So, I TAKE THE DRESSES BACK! Yes, both dresses! I again think about all that energy I spent on this whole process, and I’m reminded of how much time I must have wasted in the past pursuing that perfect item. I want to be intentional moving forward in making decisions about adding pieces to my wardrobe, but I know I will have to learn a new way to make decisions. This whole process didn’t work for me.
In the end, I wore a dress that I had purchased for a wedding a couple years back, a dress that I don’t often wear but I loved. I felt great in it, and I was glad that I decided to stick with a dress I already owned. On a side-note, perhaps I should reevaluate how many dresses I own.
organized with joy 