life

ALLOWING THINGS TO HAPPEN AS THEY ARE

/ OrganizedWithJoy / Leave a comment

Earlier this week I shared an Erin Loechner quote on Instagram. I really love her book Chasing Slow. So much so that it is one of the few books I will keep in my collection. The quote says, “I begin to learn to allow things to happen as they are, rather than how I want them to be. I begin to learn, quite simply, the art of peace.” This quote really resonated with me. This idea that contentment isn’t found in some perfect definition of life. Contentment is found in the accepting. Accepting that things are the way they are. When we resign to this truth, we will find peace.

I think this quote resonated so much with me, partially right now, because I feel like I am in the in between in life. I just returned from visiting my son in Portland, and it really brought up that feeling of discontent in my heart. We have been considering moving to the Pacific Northwest, however now is not the time… yet. Currently our daughter is still living with us as she finishes her graduate school work. Graduation is in December, almost a year away. It doesn’t really seem like that long with how quickly time has been passing, but it also feels like I have already been waiting so long to downsize and move. Visiting Portland reminded me how happy my heart is there. For those of you who don’t know, we actually used to live in Portland. I really loved living there! We moved to Austin for my husband to go to graduate school, and that was now almost 24 years ago.

When our son got a job in Portland after graduating from college, I felt like that was almost like a sign we should move back. Our daughter has also always wanted to live in the PNW (although we shall see what happens with her career.) But reading this quote: “I begin to learn to allow things to happen as they are, rather than how I want them to be,” reminded me that I must fight for contentment everyday. When I accept where I am and find the joy and beauty in my everyday life here, I begin to experience that contentment and peace I long for.

For me, it’s not just about living in the PNW. I mean, it is – I think it will be an upgrade in lifestyle as I am an outdoorsy type person for sure. There are more opportunities to do outdoor activities there than here in Austin. But it’s also about downsizing. This is something I have been dreaming about for quite some time. If it’s not obvious by now, I long to live a more simple life. This is especially true as I age. I long to have less and do more. I long to take care of less stuff and take care of people more. I guess I just see that dream on the horizon and I’m ready for it NOW. I have been ready for it.

Me in my happy place! Hiking in Oregon!

Funny side story: I have always been adventurous! When we were graduating from Indiana University and my husband got a job offer in Portland, OR I said: “Awesome, let’s go!” When he wanted to go back to school for his MBA and got into the University of Texas I said: “Awesome, let’s go!” When we thought about moving within Austin to get our kids into a better school district I said: “Awesome, let’s go!” I have told my husband before that I am pretty much up for any adventure! I would sell everything and move half way across the world if we had to! I think some of what I am feeling is just too settled maybe? We’ve lived in Austin for almost 24 years and lived in this home for almost 17 years.

But back to the topic… I really want to challenge myself to a mindset shift. I find this to be one of the most important strategies to learn in life. And this quote sums it up. If we want peace, if we want contentment, we must learn to allow things to happen as they are. We must look for the joy and beauty in our lives here and now. We must CREATE joy and beauty in our lives in the here and now. Experiencing the art of peace isn’t as complicated as we may think. Look around you – be grateful for what you have, look for ways that you can grow and flourish in this season, in this very place where you are NOW! It’s okay to make plans for the future, but don’t let your contentment hinge on your future. I’m not just saying this for you, I’m reminding myself as well!

This is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.

HELPING ADULT CHILDREN

/ OrganizedWithJoy / Leave a comment

I recently saw a post on Instagram that really resonated with me. It said something along the lines of “when people ask me why I still help my adult children, I respond that being a parent is a life long role.” Even though my kids are young adults and fully capable of doing things themselves, I still absolutely love helping them and being there for them. I know one day my kids will be there for me when I grow old and need help. I especially love helping my kids with homemaking tasks as I have a lot of experience and gifting in this area. I might as well use my gifts!

Just last week I flew to Portland, OR to help my son move into a different apartment. While it was hard work to help my son move, I actually really enjoyed the process! For some reason I really love packing and I also enjoy organizing spaces (obviously) and making a space cozy and comfortable! I am thankful that my kids are so appreciative when I do help them! Also, I have to mention – working out and lifting weights at my age has practical benefits like being able to help my son move! It was just me and my son who moved his entire one bedroom apartment including some heavy furniture pieces. I am also thankful that I have the time and bandwidth to devote to traveling to Portland to help my son! I also have to say, it would be one thing if my kids took advantage of me, but my son is very responsible with a really good head on his shoulders, making it easier to give him this help. He absolutely could have accomplished this move on his own, recruiting friends, but I was happy to help him! And like I said, he expresses his appreciation for my help.

I do feel like generally people in westernized cultures don’t value community or family as much as other cultures, or even as much as they used to. In other cultures it is common for communities or families to come together to help one another for things like moving. It’s not “putting others out” like it seems to be here in America. People live so individualistically and independently from one another now, and I think with the emergence of the internet and social media it has gotten worse. It is all too easy to just live life online and not interact and function within a community of people. In other cultures, people don’t necessarily kick their kids out of the nest at 18 and often kids live with their parents until they get married. It’s also common in other cultures for aging parents to move in with their kids and live inter-generationally. All of this is rare in western cultures. I think life is more well lived and robust in a community or family structure!

I have to brag about my son for a minute. He moved to Portland a year and a half ago. Since moving, he has developed two separate friend groups, who he regularly spends time with. He has been pursuing his hobbies outside of work – both this year and last year buying a season ski pass, and getting involved with a local open mic night to pursue his passion for music. Through that he actually joined a band and plays bass in another band. We had a conversation about this very topic and he expressed his high value of relationships and the importance of prioritizing those relationships. To say I’m proud is an understatement. Your kids will follow your lead in life – they will not necessarily listen to what you give lip service to, but they will see what your everyday habits are and often will adopt those habits as well in their adulthood!

Family is one of my highest priorities. Not just my immediate family, my husband and kids, but also extended family! I find nurturing relationships to be one of the most rewarding things you can do with your time!

YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.


LESSONS FROM GRANDMA & GRANDPA

/ OrganizedWithJoy / 2 Comments

Just keep moving. That is the answer my grandpa, who lived until he was 100, would give when people asked the secret to a long life. My grandpa passed away a few weeks ago at the age of 100. It is truly amazing and an inspiration to me! Thankfully I did get to see him just a couple months ago back in November and he was still quite sharp and engaging! He certainly lived by this principle, just keep moving. He lived independently until the age of 99, only living in assisted care for 8 months. He took care of his house, his yard, and had a garden every summer. He also late into life was a woodworker and made a multitude of furniture pieces or other wood projects for family members. He was so creative and usually made things without any sort of blue print but just from his own head. For my kids he made a doll cradle and a rocking horse, he also made a jewelry box for my daughter and a mini keepsake type box for me from an old piano that they had in their home that was no longer working. It was an upright piano and had a neat floral design panel on the front which he decided to use as a wall decor piece in their living room.

My grandpa was a World War 2 vet and had a veteran’s funeral, which was amazing to see and quite an emotional experience. I had never been to a veteran’s funeral. As they were performing the folding of the flag – in a methodical and precise way, I was thinking about the life my grandpa lived before he was a husband, a father, and a grandfather. In that moment I truly embraced his humanity. I am sure he saw and had to do some unthinkable things in the war. I’m sure there were so many other things he went through in his life that were just human. You don’t think about that as a little kid, maybe not even as an adult – that your grandparents, your parents were human – just like you. With struggles and hurts. I know he was not perfect, but none of us are. I know as an adult, I’m doing the best I can with everything I experienced and I give him the benefit of the doubt that he also did the best he could. Realizing his humanity reminded me of this. 

My Grandma passed away almost exactly 6 years ago, at the age of 93 by the way. Now with both of them gone I wanted to go say goodbye to their house one more time. They moved into that house when my mom was 16 years old, so that was always Grandma and Grandpa’s house for me since day one. I have SO many memories from their house. When I arrived it was a bit of upheaval because my family had to move the furniture out of my Grandpa’s assisted care facility back into their home. Also, my grandpa definitely didn’t keep the house as immaculately clean as I remember Grandma keeping it. I thought it would be difficult to say goodbye, but honestly it felt like a ghost town there. The life that was once so vibrant and bustling in that home was gone. It reminded me that people make a home, not the stuff. All the stuff seemed unimportant at that moment. My family will go in and get what they want, but most of their things will be sold in an estate sale including the home. It all seemed meaningless. I did take a few picture frames and some of my Grandma’s jewelry, but the stuff only had life when they were there using it. This reinforced my desire to focus my time, energy, and money on people and experiences over stuff!

I’m so thankful for all the lessons I learned from Grandma and Grandpa. Lessons I will take with me for the rest of my life. And even after their death I was learning from them. Keep moving, remember everyone is just human like you, and stuff is far less important than we think it is in the end. I hope these lessons I learned from my grandparents will help their legacy live on. Not just through me and our family, but through whoever embraces them as we share these lessons generously with others. I hope these lessons inspire you as well.


This was the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this post.

MY NEW YEAR’S GOALS

/ OrganizedWithJoy / Leave a comment

There is something so satisfying about a fresh start. The new year is a great time to think about fresh starts. The new year is an organic fresh start. It seems silly that one day to the next could mark the beginning of something new or different, but the calendar changes to mark a new year, which can be a great time for new beginnings. That is why so many people make new year’s resolutions.

The last few years I have incorporated new habits and really pushed myself outside of my comfort zone.  Two years ago in 2024 I decided to focus on travel and that year I took several trips. Including a solo road trip! Last year I ended up taking several trips as well, and moving into 2026 I already have 4 trips in the works! At the end of 2024 I started a new habit of lifting weights at the gym, and now nearly a year and half later it has become part of my weekly routine. In 2025 I wanted to focus on reading and walking more. Both of these habits I have successfully incorporated into my routines. If you have been around, you know I also did a no buy year in 2025. I was not fully successful, but I made huge strides with my spending habits and I know this will carry over into my future.

I wanted to talk about what I want to do now that my no buy year is over. I definitely want to be more intentional with my spending. The one practical rule that I decided to make for myself is that I can’t purchase more than 3 items each month. This will include items for events or trips. I really wanted to put some boundaries on myself so I don’t slip back into old habits. Something else I am thinking about doing is getting coffee out less often and choosing local coffee spots if I do get coffee out. I honestly don’t get coffee out that often. I only allow myself once a week unless I am traveling. But I definitely want to start trying out more local coffee places instead of getting Starbucks.

In 2026 the main thing I want to focus on is less entertainment. Throughout this year I have been working on “mono-tasking” more often. Not always listening to music, podcasts, YouTube videos, or Marco Polos while I’m doing other simple tasks. I’ve been working on focusing on one task at a time in order to be more present in each thing I am doing. In my paper planner there was space to plan out my year – my goals, values, and priorities. I actually purchased the exact same planner for 2026 because it helped me to stay on track. In this planner there is a space to write a word for the year. I decided my word would be “focus.” I feel like at this time of my life it is easy to lose focus. Not only am I dealing with the effects of perimenopause, including struggling to stay focused mentally, but I also have more margin in my life and it can be easy to fill up the margin with things that don’t make a difference ultimately. I don’t want to keep feeling like I’m wasting my life.

Recently I watched a really great video from Ryan Holiday. I really love his content. It is very inspiring. He does a great job of sharing ideas that come from the Stoics in a really relatable and digestible way. He talked about this idea, which came from the Stoics – Memento mori. This is a Latin phrase which means “remember you must die.” I know, I know, this is rather morbid. But it also is so true, and something I think most of us don’t really want to think about. But the idea is if we do “remember that we must die,” we may be more intentional with our time. I feel like I am a work in progress with regards to truly living intentionally, but hearing this phrase ignited in me a new resolve to truly pay attention to everything that I am doing with my time. I know I won’t be perfect and there will surely be times when I don’t feel well – either physically or emotionally making it more difficult to do meaningful things. But my point is that I can more regularly focus on doing meaningful things. Things that are in line with my values and priorities, like spirituality, physical health, relationships, and personal growth.

I’m going to kick off the new year with this goal in mind to focus on less entertainment by doing a challenge of course! I love putting myself up to a challenge! And this time my husband is joining me in this challenge. I asked him a few years ago if we could do a challenge of removing the tv from our bedroom. Back then he was not keen on the idea, but we decided to do this together as a form of fasting. Our church does a 21 day fast at the beginning of every year and it can be anything you choose to abstain from. We are going to quit watching tv at night, which has become a very ingrained routine for us! I’m looking forward to seeing the difference it makes for us as individuals, but also for our marriage!

With New Year’s resolutions, a switch can’t necessarily be flipped and all things are new. But if you keep making small changes, year after year. These things will become part of your everyday routines and life.

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.

NORMALIZE A NORMAL LIFE

/ OrganizedWithJoy / Leave a comment

For today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I want to talk about an idea I recently heard about from another YouTube creator, normalizing a normal life. I follow her channel because she does a lot of reaction videos to overconsumption, especially amongst influencers. As many of you know, I am doing a no buy year in 2025 as a way to challenge myself to prevent overconsumption in my own life. I think when we are constantly exposed to content online where people are showing shopping hauls or restocks (often with unnecessary stuff, or stuff you could not possibly use before the expiration date), we begin to think overconsumption is just normal. We also are exposed to people who seem to lead out of touch lives. I get that some of these videos are purposefully overproduced, but it really can get in your head none the less!

In addition to my no buy year, I have been pursuing minimalism for over a decade now, slowly but surely decluttering our home. And more recently I do feel like I have gotten pretty ruthless with decluttering in the pursuit of a more simple life. In today’s message I just wanted to encourage you that it is okay to lead a simple life. It’s okay to have a normal life. I truly believe that there is beauty in the mundane if we allow it or see it.

Part of the reason I wanted to discuss this topic now is because as we come up on the holidays, we may feel more inadequate than any other time in the year. We may feel like we aren’t doing enough family activities, or we don’t have enough holiday decor, or the right decor. I’m here to remind you that you don’t need to go out and buy all new holiday decor with the theme of the latest trend (cough cough Ralph Lauren Christmas cough cough). I do love to share my holiday clean and decorate with me videos on YouTube to inspire people, but I never do it with the intent that they would go out and buy the same things I have. I just want to get people excited about the upcoming holiday season! And most of my stuff I couldn’t link if I wanted to because I have had it for many years, or it is a vintage or thrift find! The holiday decor you have is good enough! One thing I like to do is style my existing decor differently every year so it feels fresh and new!

I have always tried to be authentic on my YouTube channel, and share as candidly as I can here on my blog. Yes, I do like to edit and present it in such a way that hopefully is artistic and interesting, but I am sharing my real (and normal) life! I do wish normal lives were more popular on social media. It does seem like the easiest way to become successful online is to have a non-normal life. Maybe a normal life is not interesting or exciting, but I’m okay with that. I will continue to pursue a simple, quiet life. I think a majority of people in the world lead a normal life, so I am just here to remind you that it is okay if your life feels normal or ordinary. Don’t let what you see on social media steal the joy of your beautiful, normal life! Embrace it and appreciate it!

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.

AGING GRACEFULLY, IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK

/ OrganizedWithJoy / 2 Comments

For today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to talk about aging gracefully. I wanted to share on this topic because I know a lot of people are surprised when they find out my age. For those of you who are new here or just don’t know, I am 50 years old. Aging gracefully is not just about creams and ointments, exercise, drinking plenty of water, and getting good sleep. Don’t get me wrong, I think all of those healthy habits contribute to aging gracefully, but it is far more than just surface level habits.

The first thing I wanted to talk about is relationships. I’m talking about genuine relationships. Those relationships where you have deep and meaningful conversations, hard conversations, remembering birthdays and other special dates, and showing care and love for one another. Dr. Mark Hyman has shared on this topic, the importance of relationships for health and longevity. On instagram he shared that if you have a loving, connected conversation with someone, it will turn on the genes that shut off inflammation in the body. He also shared “an 85 year old study following 700+ people found that the #1 predictor of long-term health and happiness wasn’t diet, wealth, or even genetics. It was the quality of relationships. Community is really the ultimate medicine for the body and brain.” This isn’t easy. Especially in this fast paced culture we live in. It is difficult to prioritize relationships, but it will help us to age gracefully! 

Something else that can help us to age gracefully is similar to prioritizing relationships is to look outward instead of inward. When we focus on listening to others, helping others, serving others instead of constantly focusing on ourselves and our own needs, we shine a little brighter!

We also must hold on to curiosity if we want to age gracefully. Have you heard that phrase, “he or she is set in their ways.” This is usually referring to someone who is older and has become closed-minded. Staying open-minded and curious can help us to stay more youthful. We can do this by listening to others’ perspectives and opinions, but we can also do this by being life-long learners, challenging and examining our own beliefs. Prioritizing education throughout your life will help you to age gracefully!

The next thing I have to share I would say is totally underrated. I think it is so important to hold onto whimsy. Typically, whimsy is something that is associated with children. Kids have an excitement and enthusiasm for life that is often lost in adulthood. Finding joy in the little things in life can help us to stay youthful! Look for ways to make life playful! Go play in the rain, skip into a store instead of walking, stop and ride on a swing when you pass one! Don’t lose your wonder for life! Make room for fun and laughter.  Don’t run yourself ragged saying yes to everything, but instead be intentional with your “yes.” Say yes to spontaneous adventures. Play isn’t pointless, you can get excited about things that aren’t necessarily useful or productive.

Another way you can age gracefully is by being gentle with yourself. Give yourself grace because no one is perfect. We all just do our best and if we have unattainable standards for ourselves, it will make us irritable and frustrated. I recognize that this is easier said than done and can take time to get there through practice! This shift is not something that can be bottled up and sold, but it definitely changes your demeanor, the way you carry yourself. Similarly, stop “should-ing” yourself. It’s okay to want to make changes in life and want to challenge yourself to do better, but don’t put unreasonable expectations on yourself. Self compassion softens you. You unfurl your brow, you lower your shoulders. This ease with yourself shines through and helps you to age gracefully.

You know what else softens you? Doing the inner work: processing your emotions, feeling them instead of fixing, denying, or covering them. Once you do this work, you relax physically – your shoulders lower, your jaw unclenches, your gut is at peace. You aren’t in a constant state of fight or flight and needing to protect yourself. In general, doing the hard thing over and over helps you to age gracefully. I’m not talking just about things that are physically hard like exercise and eating healthy, although those things are good! I’m talking about being emotionally honest with yourself, I’m talking about getting out of bed every morning when you don’t want to (or even have to). I’m talking about leaning into your healthy habits even when life circumstances start spiraling.

Something else that I have found to be so important is to prioritize rest. Making time for rest is not being lazy. Rest gives your body time to repair. Your physical body, but also your mind and your emotions. When you prioritize rest, you must be intentional with your time. A couple years ago I felt like God was calling me to take a true sabbath. I was working 7 days a week and often felt exhausted or burnt out. Now that I take Sundays off from working, I must be intentional with the other 6 days.

Even though I wanted to focus on things other than the obvious things that will help us age gracefully, let’s talk about exercise. When you age gracefully you learn to shift the focus from a certain body size to exercise for your mental health, appreciating the fact that your body can move. This is certainly not easy as we are undoing decades of programming from society. But this mindset shift is so important and honestly just freeing! No longer exercising because we ate a piece of cake or because we want to fit in a certain size of jeans, and instead habitually moving your body because it makes you stronger and more energized! When you learn to move with your body instead of against it you unlock a freedom you have not known!

Lastly, aging gracefully comes from living with integrity, heart, and contentment. When your actions and habits are in alignment with your values and priorities, you show up in this world in a different kind of way. You shine brightly because you are living in freedom. This kind of peace slows down the aging process! 

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.

REFRAMING YOUR IDEA OF SUCCESS

/ OrganizedWithJoy / Leave a comment

Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to talk about a quote I shared on Instagram earlier this week. I am often so inspired by quotes, so I like to share them with you and chat in more detail about what it means to me. The quote is from Vincent Van Gogh and says, “If I am worth anything later, I am worth something now. For wheat is wheat, even if people think it is grass in the beginning.”

I was curious as to whether Van Gogh actually said this quote, or where it originated. As is common on the internet, there were conflicting beliefs about whether this was a Van Gogh quote, but the most common information I saw was that it was from a letter he sent to his brother Theo where he was predicting that he, like many other artists, may become famous after death. I’m not sure the timeline of when Van Gogh’s work became popular, but I can assure you that he painted a lot of artwork that was not of notable importance. It reminded me that becoming successful takes time. Yes, there are a few who experience overnight success, but for a majority of people success takes trial and error, hard work, consistency, and time.

I think this idea that success takes time is not popular. We live in a time where everything is fast, easy to acquire, right at our fingertips. We can find information easily, communicate with others quickly even if they live across the country or across the world, and buy things with one click. We must accept that success is something  worth working towards. We must accept that we will have to put in the hard work consistently to get to where we want to be. It usually does not happen overnight.

Oftentimes, when we see someone who is experiencing success in their lives, we see the success – where they are now. But we don’t see what it took to get there. It’s a process. We see the wheat, but we did not see the stage where they looked like grass. Even in those earlier stages where they had failures and setbacks, they still were on that trajectory to becoming wheat! The difficult part is we never know how long that path of failures, set backs, and learning will take. And I think so often even when we reach success, we are still looking for something more. Many of us have that “what now” feeling when we have achieved a milestone or goal.

Because it is human nature to look towards the next achievement, it is important to learn to be at peace with where you are. Believe me, I know how hard this can be. I still sometimes struggle with this, looking towards the future instead of just enjoying where I am now. As I look back at my life, I do think I wished some of my life away waiting for the next stage. Finding peace in your current stage of life can happen when you stop resisting where you are. Name the stage you are in. Is this a season of building, healing, transitioning, grieving, growing, or resting? Sometimes naming the stage gives you more grace with yourself to lean into this chapter. Letting go of the “shoulds” – like “I should be further along” or “I should be doing more” – will help you to be more grounded in your stage of life.

As I often share, being present in life is so important. There are many practices that can anchor you to the present. Having healthy routines will help you to stay grounded, like mindfulness or meditation, journaling, exercise, eating healthy, and keeping a regular sleep schedule. All of these things can help you to live in the moment. 

Often when we feel unrest it is because we are trying to control our circumstances. If we can shift our focus from control to curiosity, that will help us to feel more at peace. Instead of trying to problem solve, or just ruminate on how to get out of this stage, ask yourself what this stage is trying to teach you or what are you learning about yourself in this stage. When you shift to curiosity, once again it makes space for grace for yourself in this season. Also, honor your pace. Quit looking at what others are doing and recognize that we are all on our own journey, and that is okay!


Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.

HONOR YOUR LIMITS

/ OrganizedWithJoy / Leave a comment

Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday topic I wanted to talk about honoring your limits. I think this is something that is very difficult to do these days. It’s so easy to over-schedule or just spend more time than intended on scrolling or binge watching media.

For those of you who don’t know, I do have a YouTube channel and I always share these thoughts over on my channel in a video. I coincidentally had it on my schedule to share on this topic prior to filming the “day in the life” video I shared this week, but it turned out to be such an appropriate topic on this day. I had a lot that I needed to get done on this day, so I actually didn’t film a lot of active things. I just had a lot of chatty footage. I had planned on cleaning out my laundry room on this day so I would have more cleaning motivation other than the few clips cleaning my dining and living rooms, but I honored my limits and scratched the laundry room off my to-do list for the day!

We all have our limits. Each of us has a different bandwidth to manage responsibilities in life. Some of us need more down time and margin in life, and others can go, go, go! I think it can be difficult sometimes for those of us who have less bandwidth in this age of social media and seeing what other people are doing with their lives and their time. But honestly, so often what we see on social media is curated and may not be the full picture. We must honor our limits so we don’t risk getting burnt out.

I do think there are times we need to and can push ourselves a little more than usual, as long as we can schedule in rest afterwards. There are times where we have to push because of extenuating circumstances, like going on vacation, celebrating birthdays or other holidays, moving, or other situations that are not our usual day to day. The day I filmed this DITL was especially busy for me because the next day I was going to take the day off to go with my girlfriends to a mineral springs spa near Austin, so I wouldn’t be able to get any work done that day. Honestly, this whole week was busy as I was also trying to catch up after being down a couple of days for my routine colonoscopy a couple weeks ago.

This was taken at the Mineral Springs Spa my girlfriends and I went to! Ottine Mineral Springs.

We all have physical limits, and must pay attention to our bodies’ cues to slow down. But we also have relational and emotional limits as well. If you are someone who is an introvert, you will need more time alone to recharge, and that is okay! But you need to honor those limits and realize when you need to recharge. For some people, they can manage several friendships and relationships in general, while others feel more comfortable with just a few close friends. Once again, that is okay! 

Something similar to managing relationships is honoring your emotional bandwidth. Just like some of us have a bigger capacity to manage relationships, some of us have a bigger capacity to manage emotional input. If you find yourself constantly drained by certain people, content, or any input in general, you need to evaluate that to determine if it is something that is pushing your emotional limits. It’s okay to step back or even away from a relationship for a time if that person is taking too much of your emotional energy. It’s okay to unfollow and quit watching content that drains you emotionally. It is not always easy to determine if someone or something is too much for you emotionally, but we must be aware of our emotional bandwidth.

We all have daily responsibilities as adults, so we must evaluate those responsibilities. Are there things that are not as important or urgent that you can eliminate from your list on a given day that you don’t feel you have the bandwidth to carry out? Or can you delegate some of your responsibilities to someone else? Can your spouse, children, or a friend help you with something that needs to get done? I have found it helpful for me to structure my day with the non-negotiables at the front part of the day, then if I still have energy and time I will tackle some of those other things on the list.

It’s not always easy to honor our limits, but in the long run it is good to be aware of our limits and do what we can to honor them. Since I was honoring my own limits and didn’t film that laundry room clean, the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this post is pretty chatty! So if you like that type of content like you’re on a Facetime call with me, go check out that video {{linked above}}! And at the end of that video I share some footage from my day at the mineral springs spa!

QUIT MAKING EXCUSES

/ OrganizedWithJoy / Leave a comment

Hey friends! I know it’s been a while since I posted here! Life has been busy, and it is just now slowing down! For today’s Thoughtful Thursday topic I wanted to encourage you to quit making excuses. Please know that when I tackle topics like this that sound a little judgy – I am talking to myself too. I have said this before: these posts are just as much to encourage me as it is to encourage you!

I think it is human nature to make excuses for why we don’t do certain things or why we do certain things in life. It helps us to feel better about ourselves and our choices. We rationalize to comfort us when we fall short, and to protect our egos from failure. But one thing I have noticed for myself is that it can be helpful to be an observer of your thoughts (or even what you say) to really determine if you truly are living authentically, or if you are just making excuses to not do things that could help you to learn and grow. I’ll give you an example. I want to read more. I have been wanting to read more for years. Yet when I talk to people about wanting to read more, I tend to immediately make excuses for why I don’t read more. I blame my high energy and how it’s hard for me to sit still, my perimenopause induced ADHD which causes a lack of focus, or how I feel unproductive when I just sit and read. The truth is, I lack the discipline to make reading a more regular part of my routines. It would be one thing if I just accepted that I don’t have the discipline, but instead I make excuses so I don’t feel bad about myself.

Excuses often stem from fear – fear of failure, fear of judgement, or fear of change. When someone says, “I don’t have time to do this or that” what they actually mean is that they don’t want to prioritize it. When someone says, “I’m just not good at this or that” they really mean they don’t want to put in the effort to try that thing and/or they don’t want to risk failure. Excuses can come from a place of victim mentality. We may believe that our circumstances dictate our success or failure. While it’s true that we may have challenges or injustices in our lives, blaming others or our circumstances strips us of our autonomy and the belief that we have the power to change our circumstances.

Making excuses may protect our ego in the short term, but in the long term it sabotages our goals. Excuses prevent us from learning and growing. It can also diminish our self respect. Deep down we may know that we are not being authentic. This inner conflict can lead to anxiety, low self esteem, and lack of motivation. The more someone hides behind excuses, the more they drift from who they truly want to be. When we choose to quit making excuses, it doesn’t deny that life can be hard or that things are not always in your control. It means that while you can’t control everything, you can control your response to things. Taking responsibility instead of making excuses shifts the focus to what you can do instead of what you can’t do.

I have said this phrase so many times: you choose your hard. We often make excuses for why we are not doing the hard thing. But doing the hard thing up front makes the long term easier or at least more enjoyable. Often it’s when we don’t do the hard thing and we make excuses as to why we are not doing the hard thing, that later things actually become more difficult.

Excuses are easy, but progress is hard. If you want to live a life of purpose, achievement, and growth you have to quit making excuses. Stop blaming, stop delaying, and stop doubting. Take responsibility for your choices, your mindset, and your future. It’s not always comfortable, but it’s always worth it. Because the moment you stop making excuses is the moment you start making progress.

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.

DEALING WITH BAGGAGE

/ OrganizedWithJoy / Leave a comment

So for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to talk about baggage. I thought this was an appropriate topic since I recently returned from a trip. As I was walking through the airport with my carry-on rolling bag, my computer bag, and my purse, I was thinking about what a great analogy it was to mental and emotional baggage that we carry around with us. I saw this gentleman on one of my flights and all he had was his phone and a reader tablet. I thought to myself how nice that must be to have so little to manage while traveling. That’s when I got to thinking about how this mimics mental and emotional baggage. How much easier, or lighter, it must feel to walk through life with little baggage.

I actually talked about this idea last fall while preparing to go on a trip. I can link that post here. But I wanted to flesh out a couple of different ideas regarding this analogy of physical and mental/emotional baggage. One thing that struck me on this trip was how much easier it was for me to maneuver my bags through the airport and on the plane (lifting them into the overhead compartment.) I realized my muscles have gotten stronger since last fall with the consistent weight lifting I have been doing. I realized when we deal with difficult circumstances in life and process our feelings around them, “carrying” this baggage gets easier. It doesn’t feel as cumbersome when our emotional muscles are stronger.

The other thing that struck me on this trip is the importance of help or having a community around you when you are dealing with heavy or difficult circumstances. Yes, even strangers have helped me in the past with lifting my bag into the overhead compartment, but my son came with me on this trip and I realized it was nice for one of us to sit in the airport with the bags while the other one went to the restroom, or went to get food or a coffee. It was nice to have someone take the load for a while. It reminded me of the importance of friends and family in life to help us with our mental and emotional load.

The other thing I thought about regarding baggage, is how maybe everything I brought was not necessary. To be fair, I did use everything other than one workout t-shirt, but for the sake of this analogy, I think it’s good to evaluate what mental and emotional baggage we are carrying around and what we could declutter. Y’all know I’m all about decluttering and living with less as I pursue becoming a minimalist. And I can assure you that it takes time! Especially if it’s baggage you’ve been carrying around for a long time and it has accumulated. I have been decluttering and working on minimizing our possessions for many years now! And if you regularly watch my YouTube channel you know that is ongoing! AND, not only do I have to deal with past stuff that has accumulated (like our past emotional baggage) but also deal with the day to day maintenance. We constantly have to deal with things coming into and going out of our homes. Mental and emotional baggage is the same way. We daily have to deal with relational interactions and continual self discovery and growth. It is a constant process.

Recognizing our mental and emotional baggage as something that needs to be “gone through” and processed is the start. Acknowledgment is always the biggest step we can take. And then being aware that it will be a process and not an overnight fix or change!

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.