Life With Joy

LESSONS FROM GRANDMA & GRANDPA

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Just keep moving. That is the answer my grandpa, who lived until he was 100, would give when people asked the secret to a long life. My grandpa passed away a few weeks ago at the age of 100. It is truly amazing and an inspiration to me! Thankfully I did get to see him just a couple months ago back in November and he was still quite sharp and engaging! He certainly lived by this principle, just keep moving. He lived independently until the age of 99, only living in assisted care for 8 months. He took care of his house, his yard, and had a garden every summer. He also late into life was a woodworker and made a multitude of furniture pieces or other wood projects for family members. He was so creative and usually made things without any sort of blue print but just from his own head. For my kids he made a doll cradle and a rocking horse, he also made a jewelry box for my daughter and a mini keepsake type box for me from an old piano that they had in their home that was no longer working. It was an upright piano and had a neat floral design panel on the front which he decided to use as a wall decor piece in their living room.

My grandpa was a World War 2 vet and had a veteran’s funeral, which was amazing to see and quite an emotional experience. I had never been to a veteran’s funeral. As they were performing the folding of the flag – in a methodical and precise way, I was thinking about the life my grandpa lived before he was a husband, a father, and a grandfather. In that moment I truly embraced his humanity. I am sure he saw and had to do some unthinkable things in the war. I’m sure there were so many other things he went through in his life that were just human. You don’t think about that as a little kid, maybe not even as an adult – that your grandparents, your parents were human – just like you. With struggles and hurts. I know he was not perfect, but none of us are. I know as an adult, I’m doing the best I can with everything I experienced and I give him the benefit of the doubt that he also did the best he could. Realizing his humanity reminded me of this. 

My Grandma passed away almost exactly 6 years ago, at the age of 93 by the way. Now with both of them gone I wanted to go say goodbye to their house one more time. They moved into that house when my mom was 16 years old, so that was always Grandma and Grandpa’s house for me since day one. I have SO many memories from their house. When I arrived it was a bit of upheaval because my family had to move the furniture out of my Grandpa’s assisted care facility back into their home. Also, my grandpa definitely didn’t keep the house as immaculately clean as I remember Grandma keeping it. I thought it would be difficult to say goodbye, but honestly it felt like a ghost town there. The life that was once so vibrant and bustling in that home was gone. It reminded me that people make a home, not the stuff. All the stuff seemed unimportant at that moment. My family will go in and get what they want, but most of their things will be sold in an estate sale including the home. It all seemed meaningless. I did take a few picture frames and some of my Grandma’s jewelry, but the stuff only had life when they were there using it. This reinforced my desire to focus my time, energy, and money on people and experiences over stuff!

I’m so thankful for all the lessons I learned from Grandma and Grandpa. Lessons I will take with me for the rest of my life. And even after their death I was learning from them. Keep moving, remember everyone is just human like you, and stuff is far less important than we think it is in the end. I hope these lessons I learned from my grandparents will help their legacy live on. Not just through me and our family, but through whoever embraces them as we share these lessons generously with others. I hope these lessons inspire you as well.


This was the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this post.

BEING PATIENT

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For today’s Thoughtful Thursday I wanted to talk about being patient with people. Being patient with people in general, but also being patient with our spouse, children, or any other housemates when it comes to decluttering. My husband recently helped me go through and declutter items in our garage as some of the things belong to him. I have been wanting to do this decluttering project for quite a while, so I have had to be patient with my husband as I waited for him to have the time and bandwidth to do it. I have to say, I have not always been a very patient person. I am someone who likes results, so I struggle to be patient with the process. I am learning though that there is so much growth and goodness that can happen in the process and in the waiting. 

When it comes to decluttering, I really think we all have our own pace. Whether that is because we don’t have much time to devote to it regularly, or because we are the type who needs to really think through and sit on decisions for a while. I know my husband doesn’t have a lot of time or bandwidth to devote to decluttering because of how demanding his job is, so I have been patient with him with regards to going through his things. I can’t even tell you how many times I have cleaned out our garage for my YouTube channel and mentioned “I will need my husband’s help to declutter more in here.” The only reason I am really starting to push him is because we are talking about downsizing, and I don’t want him to have to go through all of his things in a short period of time. I do feel like it is much more manageable to declutter a little at a time. In the end, this really didn’t take that long. We spent about 30 minutes on two separate weekends to get this done.

It’s not always easy to be patient with our loved ones as they have their own decluttering journey. As I have mentioned so many times before, decluttering muscles are built through practice. Just like we can’t force our loved ones to go to the gym and workout, or do anything for that matter, we can’t force them to declutter. They have to want to do it for themselves. I have found that just by being an example, and my family experiencing the spaces in our home that are more minimal, it has inspired them to start decluttering. We must let it be on their own time.

I find it important to be patient with others with regards to decluttering, but I also find it important to be patient with others in general. This is also something that is not easy. Oftentimes we have our own timeline and we want others to conform to our timeline, but that is just not how it goes. One thing that helps me to be patient with others, especially those closest to me like my husband and kids, is to remember how slow paced I myself can be with making changes in my life. I want others to be patient with me as I grow, learn, and change, so I will offer that same patience. 

I remember when I was younger in my marriage how impatient I would be with my husband (and then later my kids) when we were trying to get out the door. I was raised in such a way that you arrive 5 minutes early or you’re late. My husband is someone who takes his time doing anything. Which is actually a good characteristic. It usually means things are done well and thoroughly, but it can mean he isn’t on time. He has learned this about himself and now knows to shoot for being ready 15 minutes before we actually need to leave. But I used to get so irritated about it. Even if I didn’t express my irritation to him (I am sure I did at times, at least in heavy sighs and eye rolls) I had this bad attitude about it in my heart. At some point I realized that we could be late with my having a bad attitude, or we could be late with me having a good attitude – realizing it is better to protect our relationship and my heart attitude than to be on time somewhere. And, he eventually realized that he had to give himself more time than he thought to get ready. But I share this because my heart changed before his behavior changed, and that was for me how I wanted to show up in the world. I had to learn to be patient.

Being patient with others means recognizing that they are on their own life journey towards growth and change, or perhaps stuck in a cycle of stagnation. But either way, we are not in control of others and their choices. We are only in control of the choices we make. If we keep focusing on doing the right things for ourselves, I think this will inspire those around us. I am sure you have heard that kids do what you do not what you say. I think anyone within our sphere of influence will be affected by our behavior. Hopefully we can be a positive influence to motivate and inspire. But we must be patient as they maneuver through life and make their own decisions.

COMFORTABLY UNCOMFORTABLE ROUTINES

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Hello friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to talk about my everyday routines. Not to enumerate what my routines are – I do have plenty of routine videos on my YouTube channel if you are interested. But more so to talk about how I stick to my routines day in and day out and how I add new healthy habits to my routines. 

So I have a secret I wanted to share with you about how I stick to my routines. I have joked in the past that there is no secret to staying healthy. The truth is there is no MAGIC PILL, there is no easy way out of change and growth other than doing the work day in and day out. BUT, there is a secret to getting it done. That secret is to feel comfortable with the uncomfortable. What I mean by this is that I actually feel uncomfortable when I don’t follow through with my everyday routines. Some routines I even stick to while I’m on vacation! I know that if I don’t drink water and walk first thing in the morning, read my Bible and pray, or exercise each day, it will make me feel uncomfortable. I am only comfortable when I follow through on these uncomfortable routines!

I just recently incorporated walking first thing in the morning, and I have noticed if I don’t do that I don’t sleep as well that night. If I don’t read my Bible and pray, I don’t feel as grounded and it’s more difficult to manage the struggles of life or the emotions I’m experiencing. If I don’t exercise, I am more likely to feel down and unmotivated. Following through on these daily healthy habits becomes easier when you over and over again experience the long term benefits of the routines. This doesn’t mean that I’m perfect. Some days, for whatever reason my routines may get interrupted – whether that is because of vacation, illness, or some extra activities or events in life. But the key is that you get right back to the routines even after they have been interrupted because you are comfortable with the routines.

It is difficult to incorporate a new healthy routine or cut out an unhealthy habit, but that is when you need to press into consistency to get to a place where it feels more comfortable to follow through on the routine than not. THAT is the secret: to get to a place where you are comfortable with the uncomfortable routine.

I have talked before about the idea of a maintenance mindset over a completion mindset. This is the idea that these everyday habits are not something where there is an end goal, but instead these habits are just a part of the maintenance of your life. When we learn to accept that, we are more likely to live in the moment and to just enjoy these routines even if they are uncomfortable or hard. When we have this mindset that these routines help us to learn, grow, and become better versions of ourselves, then it’s easier to enjoy these things fully. Focus on how blessed you are if you are able to walk or workout. If you have clean drinking water. If you are able to read. All of these things are blessings that not everyone in the world can enjoy.

A lot of healthy habits are not easy to do and therefore not easy to maintain, but if we have this mindset that we feel more comfortable when we do these uncomfortable routines, we are more likely to have follow through!

The YouTube video I posted in conjunction with this blog post.

HONOR YOUR LIMITS

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Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday topic I wanted to talk about honoring your limits. I think this is something that is very difficult to do these days. It’s so easy to over-schedule or just spend more time than intended on scrolling or binge watching media.

For those of you who don’t know, I do have a YouTube channel and I always share these thoughts over on my channel in a video. I coincidentally had it on my schedule to share on this topic prior to filming the “day in the life” video I shared this week, but it turned out to be such an appropriate topic on this day. I had a lot that I needed to get done on this day, so I actually didn’t film a lot of active things. I just had a lot of chatty footage. I had planned on cleaning out my laundry room on this day so I would have more cleaning motivation other than the few clips cleaning my dining and living rooms, but I honored my limits and scratched the laundry room off my to-do list for the day!

We all have our limits. Each of us has a different bandwidth to manage responsibilities in life. Some of us need more down time and margin in life, and others can go, go, go! I think it can be difficult sometimes for those of us who have less bandwidth in this age of social media and seeing what other people are doing with their lives and their time. But honestly, so often what we see on social media is curated and may not be the full picture. We must honor our limits so we don’t risk getting burnt out.

I do think there are times we need to and can push ourselves a little more than usual, as long as we can schedule in rest afterwards. There are times where we have to push because of extenuating circumstances, like going on vacation, celebrating birthdays or other holidays, moving, or other situations that are not our usual day to day. The day I filmed this DITL was especially busy for me because the next day I was going to take the day off to go with my girlfriends to a mineral springs spa near Austin, so I wouldn’t be able to get any work done that day. Honestly, this whole week was busy as I was also trying to catch up after being down a couple of days for my routine colonoscopy a couple weeks ago.

This was taken at the Mineral Springs Spa my girlfriends and I went to! Ottine Mineral Springs.

We all have physical limits, and must pay attention to our bodies’ cues to slow down. But we also have relational and emotional limits as well. If you are someone who is an introvert, you will need more time alone to recharge, and that is okay! But you need to honor those limits and realize when you need to recharge. For some people, they can manage several friendships and relationships in general, while others feel more comfortable with just a few close friends. Once again, that is okay! 

Something similar to managing relationships is honoring your emotional bandwidth. Just like some of us have a bigger capacity to manage relationships, some of us have a bigger capacity to manage emotional input. If you find yourself constantly drained by certain people, content, or any input in general, you need to evaluate that to determine if it is something that is pushing your emotional limits. It’s okay to step back or even away from a relationship for a time if that person is taking too much of your emotional energy. It’s okay to unfollow and quit watching content that drains you emotionally. It is not always easy to determine if someone or something is too much for you emotionally, but we must be aware of our emotional bandwidth.

We all have daily responsibilities as adults, so we must evaluate those responsibilities. Are there things that are not as important or urgent that you can eliminate from your list on a given day that you don’t feel you have the bandwidth to carry out? Or can you delegate some of your responsibilities to someone else? Can your spouse, children, or a friend help you with something that needs to get done? I have found it helpful for me to structure my day with the non-negotiables at the front part of the day, then if I still have energy and time I will tackle some of those other things on the list.

It’s not always easy to honor our limits, but in the long run it is good to be aware of our limits and do what we can to honor them. Since I was honoring my own limits and didn’t film that laundry room clean, the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this post is pretty chatty! So if you like that type of content like you’re on a Facetime call with me, go check out that video {{linked above}}! And at the end of that video I share some footage from my day at the mineral springs spa!

DEALING WITH BAGGAGE

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So for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to talk about baggage. I thought this was an appropriate topic since I recently returned from a trip. As I was walking through the airport with my carry-on rolling bag, my computer bag, and my purse, I was thinking about what a great analogy it was to mental and emotional baggage that we carry around with us. I saw this gentleman on one of my flights and all he had was his phone and a reader tablet. I thought to myself how nice that must be to have so little to manage while traveling. That’s when I got to thinking about how this mimics mental and emotional baggage. How much easier, or lighter, it must feel to walk through life with little baggage.

I actually talked about this idea last fall while preparing to go on a trip. I can link that post here. But I wanted to flesh out a couple of different ideas regarding this analogy of physical and mental/emotional baggage. One thing that struck me on this trip was how much easier it was for me to maneuver my bags through the airport and on the plane (lifting them into the overhead compartment.) I realized my muscles have gotten stronger since last fall with the consistent weight lifting I have been doing. I realized when we deal with difficult circumstances in life and process our feelings around them, “carrying” this baggage gets easier. It doesn’t feel as cumbersome when our emotional muscles are stronger.

The other thing that struck me on this trip is the importance of help or having a community around you when you are dealing with heavy or difficult circumstances. Yes, even strangers have helped me in the past with lifting my bag into the overhead compartment, but my son came with me on this trip and I realized it was nice for one of us to sit in the airport with the bags while the other one went to the restroom, or went to get food or a coffee. It was nice to have someone take the load for a while. It reminded me of the importance of friends and family in life to help us with our mental and emotional load.

The other thing I thought about regarding baggage, is how maybe everything I brought was not necessary. To be fair, I did use everything other than one workout t-shirt, but for the sake of this analogy, I think it’s good to evaluate what mental and emotional baggage we are carrying around and what we could declutter. Y’all know I’m all about decluttering and living with less as I pursue becoming a minimalist. And I can assure you that it takes time! Especially if it’s baggage you’ve been carrying around for a long time and it has accumulated. I have been decluttering and working on minimizing our possessions for many years now! And if you regularly watch my YouTube channel you know that is ongoing! AND, not only do I have to deal with past stuff that has accumulated (like our past emotional baggage) but also deal with the day to day maintenance. We constantly have to deal with things coming into and going out of our homes. Mental and emotional baggage is the same way. We daily have to deal with relational interactions and continual self discovery and growth. It is a constant process.

Recognizing our mental and emotional baggage as something that needs to be “gone through” and processed is the start. Acknowledgment is always the biggest step we can take. And then being aware that it will be a process and not an overnight fix or change!

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.

NO BUY/LOW BUY FEBRUARY INSIGHTS

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Hey friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday, it is the last Thursday of the month, so I want to give a recap on how my no buy/low buy year has been going so far. I did want to report at the top that I was successful for another month! Well, I know we still have a few more days in February as I type this, but I don’t anticipate having any slip ups the next few days.

The first realization I had this month was noticing my tendency to overbuy multiples when I like something. I guess I kind of already knew this. But going through the process of decluttering on a new level and not bringing in new items, I see it more clearly. My leather earring collection is a perfect example. Now, to be fair, I have been collecting these earrings for over 10 years, and there was a time when I was wearing them everyday. But, I don’t need as many as I had. I think before decluttering I counted around 30 pairs? Which is really quite ridiculous! I could wear different earrings every day of the month! I did declutter a handful of them, giving them to a friend who also really likes that style, but honestly could probably declutter more. The earrings are not the only category of items I have this struggle of overbuying. I know I have several pairs of shoes that all look very similar as well. I need to be more mindful of this when purchasing items moving forward after my no buy year. I think this was just a sign of the habit of shopping, and always wanting the new and shiny! 

I know I have shared this in the past, but I will share it today as it is relevant to this conversation. There was definitely a time when I had unhealthy spending habits and used shopping as a way to cope with anxiety and stress. Early on in our marriage I was very frugal and a lot more intentional about what I purchased because my husband’s income was modest, and we were living solely on his income. But looking back, I see that as he progressed in his career and his income grew, our spending just kept creeping up as well. Regardless of how much we make, I want to be very intentional with how we spend our money, and in particular what comes into our home. It’s honestly not just about the money anymore, it’s about my desire to live with less. I shared a Joshua Becker quote over on Instagram this week that said, “We don’t buy things with money. We buy them with hours from our lives.” And this really resonated with me. As someone who has primarily been a homemaker for most of my adult life, I am weary of taking care of stuff and I am just wanting to simplify!

Another thing I have been thinking about this month is wondering if this no buy year has been a springboard for me to implementing other healthy habits. I mentioned in last month’s recap that I am also doing a challenge each month this year in addition to the no buy year. Honestly, the challenges seem so simple because I know it’s only going to be one month as opposed to the entire year! In January I chose to eliminate alcohol and I decided to roll that into February. And then in February I chose to give up sugar for the month (which has definitely been more challenging!) But overall, I feel like doing this no buy challenge has given me more of a desire to make healthy choices in life all around. In March, instead of eliminating a possible vice from my life, I am going to challenge myself to walk every single day in March. I have been walking more often, but I would like to make it a daily habit. Walking more is one of the goals I wrote down for my year, so this is a way to build that habit into my daily routines. We’ll see how it goes!

But I did want to talk about something that surprised me a little even though it should not have. In February with the  no buy year, no alcohol, plus no sugar, I realized I had eliminated a lot of my go to vices if I was having a rough day. It was a good thing that I was almost forced to experience those negative feelings without covering them up with something else. It forced me to choose a more healthy or positive way to deal with these feelings – like talking to friends, journaling, or taking an Epsom salt bath at the end of the day. It has been good to learn to replace these negative coping mechanisms with more positive ones.

Like I mentioned at the beginning of this post, I did not fail this month BUT I did experience some temptation. Remember last month when I said I told myself to scroll past the ads on Instagram. Well, I have not been listening to myself! Those Instagram ads just get me! They are always showing me ads for clothes and that is for sure my main vice as far as spending goes. So I need to get back to being disciplined about scrolling through ads!

The last thing I wanted to share is that I really feel like my creativity is in overdrive! I think this is because I have that extra time and bandwidth that is no longer focused on shopping. I have been working on fixing up our home and while I should be getting some practical things done around our house, I just can’t help but come up with different design ideas! Last month I shared a little makeover in our back entryway, and I have some other ideas for other areas of my home, so stay tuned if you like that sort of content!

Okay friends, that is all for this month’s recap! I am shocked and also so thankful for all of the insights I have had so far this year, month two into my no buy year! If you are doing a no buy year, I would love to hear how it’s going for you! Or just let me know your thoughts on my thoughts today!

The YouTube video I created in conjunction with this blog post.

WHEN THINGS DON’T GO AS PLANNED

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Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I thought I would talk about when things don’t go as planned. I decided to share on this topic as it was on the forefront of my mind the other day when lots of things did not go as planned that day. My new workout routine took longer than expected, I was not able to accomplish the task that I have been trying to get off my to do list for weeks, and then a stomach ache derailed my afternoon!

I used to be the type of person who really did not like it when plans changed or things didn’t go as I expected them to go. I’m not sure when it was that I finally learned that if I hold my expectations loosely, life is a lot more enjoyable. It reduced stress and anxiety, and just made me a happier person in general. It wasn’t easy for me to get to that place since my personality is someone who likes structure, consistency, and routines. But honestly, raising 3 kids and two dogs, and having a husband who arguably has an opposite personality, has trained me to be flexible. Weirdly, as a kid I was very much a go with the flow laid back type. I think it was maybe in high school that I really started to become someone who liked the structure more.

One thing I did want to share with regards to things not going as planned, is how it affects relationships. Holding our expectations loosely will help in our relationships. If we cling to our expectations, it can cause strife and frustration in our relationships, which can ultimately lead to resentment. When we are open to things going differently than planned, we have a much more laid back approach to life and those curve balls don’t affect us as much. We are willing to pivot and move forward with the new plans or the new path.

A trick that I use for myself is to look for the silver linings in the plans changing. Instead of focusing on all the reasons it sucks that things didn’t go as planned, focus on the reasons it was good that plans changed. It’s never fun to not feel good like when I got a stomach ache the other day, but I did think to myself that maybe my body needed more rest. I was grateful that my life is flexible enough right now to take an afternoon nap and let my body heal. Shifting our focus to the positive is always helpful!

When things don’t go as planned it can also provide us an opportunity to reevaluate the plans in the first place! This could be a great opportunity to evaluate how you are spending your time and do an audit. Are there things you are doing that have a low impact in the long run? Could you devote more time to more high impact activities? Meaning, are there things that you could focus on to better achieve your goals or that line up better with your values and true priorities? Of course there are everyday life things that need to get done, but this could be a good time to evaluate what’s important!

Ultimately I think it would benefit us to view when things don’t go as planned as a positive thing. Maybe this is just me, but when you are running late or you get stuck behind a slow car, or stopped by a train, or anything that slows you down towards your goal for that moment – do you ever think that you are being protected from something? Maybe this is just my morbid way of thinking, but instead of getting annoyed I think to myself maybe I was protected from getting into an accident! We have a choice every day to view things from a positive lens, or a negative one. I know for some people it doesn’t come as naturally to view things positively. I fully recognize that I have always been a glass half full sort of person, so perhaps it is easier for me. But I do think we all have the choice on how we will view every situation we encounter. And I think it is always better to view things from a positive mindset.

Here is the Day in the Life YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.


IT’S OKAY

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Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I just wanted to share a bit of encouragement with you. As I have spoken about before, there is a lot that I have gone through over the past 5 years or so. One of the primary ways that I have dealt with challenging circumstances has been to focus on the positive. I have incorporated positive affirmations into my weekly routines and that has helped tremendously with my mindset and outlook on life.

BUT, I wanted to encourage you that it’s okay if you can’t always be positive. There are some days that we will struggle with keeping a positive mindset, and that’s OKAY! As I have frequently said – progress over perfection. We can do all of the right things to keep a positive mindset and to be healthy. We can listen to positive affirmations, follow through on healthy habits like exercise, eating healthy, and getting good sleep. But there are just some days that no matter what we do we just feel down, sad, disappointed, or even hopeless.

For me I am well aware that hormones play a role in how I am feeling, and acknowledging that and giving myself grace on those days has been helpful. Don’t beat yourself up when you are not feeling as positive as you would like. On these days you might benefit from spending more time than you ordinarily would on self care. Go get your nails done, take a bubble bath, or make your favorite dessert. I have also found it helpful to talk to friends and honestly to just vent when I’m feeling this way. If you are a friend receiving this sort of vent session – I think often we just want validation and to be comforted more than to have our problems solved. Oftentimes the problems are not something that has a simple formula to solve anyway.

I know I have shared before about the Marco Polo app, but I just have to tell you about it again because it has been on days like these that I appreciate that app so much! With this app you send a video message to a friend (or a group of friends) and you are basically just talking like a monologue and then your friends watch the video back when they have the opportunity. The thing I love about this is that you can just get things off your chest without any interruptions and it is surprisingly therapeutic!

I have also found that sometimes when I’m feeling down that it is okay to sit with those feelings. To feel those feelings. Cry if you need to. It can help to talk to friends, but it can also help to journal when you’re feeling this way. Sometimes we just need to feel the negative feelings and process them. Sometimes we don’t need to hear platitudes, instead we just want to feel the feelings!

If you are feeling down, sad, discouraged, or even hopeless right now, I just want you to know that you are not alone. If you feel comfortable sharing in the comments any difficulties you are going through right now, I would love to pray for you! And I hope you will have some better days ahead!

LIVING AS AN ULTRA MINIMALIST

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Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to debrief with you about living as an ultra minimalist for 3 weeks. I traveled with my son to Portland, Oregon to move him there as he was going to be starting his first job out of college. There were several things that I learned during this challenge.

First, I did learn that I have too many clothes. I have known this, but I have been struggling to hit the sweet spot. Even though I feel like I have too many clothes, I don’t think I could live with a capsule wardrobe. I found myself worrying too much about what I was going to wear for fear I would wear something I needed for some other occasion before I was able to wash it. At home I don’t usually think much about choosing an outfit because I love everything in my closet and I have plenty of clothes to last me a week as I do laundry once a week. I definitely did not have enough workout clothes while on this trip. I only brought 4 workout outfits with me and I workout at least 5 times a week, so I ended up having to do laundry more often than when I am at home. 

One thing I did learn about myself is that I definitely gravitate towards a more plain style. As you might be able to tell from the outfits I brought with me {{see photos below}}. I think focusing on weeding out the unique items from my wardrobe and sticking with simple will make it easier for me to pare down.

Something else I learned apart from the clothing living as an ultra minimalist is that I need far less than I own in general. While I was in Portland, I slept on my son’s sofa in his living room and did all my work either from the sofa or his kitchen table. I realized I truly don’t need an office and I am perfectly fine editing just on my laptop, I don’t really NEED the secondary monitor to edit. Is it nice to have? Yes, it is. But I don’t need it. You’re thinking, Joy, are you planning to declutter your office?? No! This is important as we think about our future and discuss downsizing. I think I could easily work just in a kitchen nook space and not need an entire office.

Another thing I learned while I was away was how nice it was to have such minimal things to take care of. When I got home I was a bit overwhelmed jumping back into taking care of a family of four and a 2600 square foot home. I know that I live with three adults, and they for the most part take care of themselves, but it was more so about how large our house is and how much stuff we own! It was so refreshing to have a smaller space to take care of while staying in my son’s 700 square foot apartment!

A side note that doesn’t necessarily have to do with minimalism is I learned how much I love living in an urban environment! It was so nice to walk places – to the grocery store, the post office, coffee shops, and restaurants. I think I was organically walking a lot more during that time.

While my son lives in an urban environment, he is not far from nature too!

While I don’t think I would enjoy living as an ultra minimalist full time, it was interesting to challenge myself and live out of a carry on suitcase and my computer bag for three weeks. I was thankful for the lessons that I learned during that time!

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this post.

DEBUNKING THE BUSYNESS CULTURE

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Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to talk about the culture of busyness. I have often talked about living intentionally, and part of that is living at a slower pace – spending time on the things I love and the things that are important to me, and cutting out the things that just keep me busy.

In today’s fast-paced world, many people are proud of how busy they are. They may believe this busyness is a sign of importance or productivity. Today I wanted to challenge this glorification of busyness and the idea that constant activity is synonymous with success and/or fulfillment. I wanted to debunk this idea that busyness is always positive by sharing the detrimental effects it can have on our mental well-being, relationships, and overall quality of life.

Ryan Holiday, an author and content creator has said this: “Whenever you say ‘yes’ to something, you’re saying ‘no’ to something else.” We all make decisions on how to spend our time. And we all have a finite amount of time. If we say yes to lots of things, then we may be forfeiting time to rest and rejuvenate. 

One of the primary things I wanted to talk about is this assumption that being busy equates to productivity. The reality is, busyness often leads to inefficiency and burnout. When we have a lot on our plates, our ability to focus on and prioritize tasks diminishes. This affects our productivity and our quality of work. Being busy is different from being productive, and I think people often don’t realize this.

Something else I wanted to address is the effect constant busyness has on our mental well being. The constant pursuit of busyness can over time take a toll on our mental health. Having nonstop obligations leave little room for rest, relaxation, and self-care. All things that I think can be undervalued. This can lead to stress and anxiety which causes emotional exhaustion. Rest and relaxation are not a negative thing, these are not things to be viewed as being lazy, but instead as part of a healthy lifestyle. Scheduling in times of rest prevents you from being lazy by making a plan in your schedule for rest AND for work. When we give our brains, bodies, and emotions time to rest and rejuvenate, we are more likely to be productive when we are working. If you think about athletes training, they schedule in time to allow their bodies to rest for their muscles to recover. Our brains are no different, and need time to recover as well.

Our relationships can also take a toll when we are constantly busy and have a packed schedule. In the pursuit of busyness, we can sometimes sacrifice quality time with friends and family. When we are busy all of the time, it can be difficult to be present in the moment as we do interact with others, we may be thinking of all the other things that we must get done. Deep and meaningful relationships require time and attention. When we leave little margin in our lives to develop these kinds of relationships, we are left feeling alone and/or disconnected. We must schedule our time in a way that we can be fully present in everything we do, including time with people fostering these deeper connections.

Contrary to popular belief, a truly fulfilling life cannot be measured by the number of tasks we accomplish each day. Busyness can cause us to not live in the moment, and therefore we may miss life’s little pleasures as we are rushing from one task to another or one activity to another. Again, as we keep a schedule that allows for margin we are more likely to truly live in the moment, enjoy the little things, and therefore experience more gratitude in life. If we have a balanced life of productivity and the ability to live in the moment our quality of life will go up!

To counteract this culture of busyness, we must embrace simplicity and mindfulness. Simplifying our schedules, and learning what to say yes to and what to say no to can create the space we need for this type of presence in each task and activity in life. As we are more mindful of how we spend our time, we begin to become self aware of our priorities and moving forward we can begin to choose our time doing the things that align with our values and goals in life.

I did want to say that I recognize that there will always be busier seasons in life. I remember when my kids were all school aged we felt busy and on the go constantly. This was just a season. Also, we chose to combat the extreme busyness by limiting the number of activities our kids could participate in each season. We wanted to teach them the value in not overcommitting and to be fully committed to the things they wanted to invest their time in. We not only embrace these ideas for ourselves but to teach our children the value of rest and self-care. 

Lastly, I just wanted to encourage you to challenge our culture’s narrow view of success, which often revolves around busyness and external achievements. True success should be viewed more holistically, accounting for mental well being, healthy relationships, and personal fulfillment. When we adopt this mindset, we will be able to escape this culture of busyness and replace it with something far more meaningful.

This is the YouTube video I posted in conjunction with this blog post.