intentional spending

DEALING WITH PERFECTIONISM

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Okay friends, this is the last Thursday of the month and I had been sharing a monthly recap on how my no buy year was going for that month on the last Thursday, however last month I ended up sharing late. I have decided I will wait until the last Thursday in October to recap and then we will be back on track for sharing the last week of the month! But, I will share a teaser and say I am still really struggling. And because of that I wanted to talk about an adjacent topic this week – perfectionism. I am sure I have talked about the topic of perfectionism before. If not the main topic, I know I have talked about my struggles with perfectionism and how I really like to call myself a recovering perfectionist because I have been a lot better over the past several years at giving myself grace when I’m not as disciplined as I would have liked to have been.

Over the years I have shared here on my YouTube channel a variety of different challenges I have put myself up to. I actually used to have a series on my channel where each month I chose a different challenge and shared my thoughts on how the challenge went. I think challenging myself outside of my comfort zone is a good thing. And some of the challenges have led to some long term healthy habits. But these challenges, like the no buy year, I think can lend itself to falling back into the perfectionism trap. While I think challenges can be good for setting a framework for eliminating bad habits or incorporating new good habits, it can also cause me to focus too much on behavior. What I mean by this is that sometimes just changing behavior isn’t enough. Changing the behavior doesn’t necessarily mean a change in my heart. Choosing to do the no buy year for me isn’t necessarily just about saving money, although that is a really nice side effect and I think it’s always good to be intentional with how I am spending. For me, it was more about changing my heart posture towards stuff. I don’t want stuff to be so important to me. The important things in life are relationships, experiences, and striving to make a difference in this world somehow.

Yes, it’s good to change the behavior, but the last part of this no buy year I want to focus on changing my heart posture. By just focusing on changing the behavior, that puts me back into a perfectionist mentality, where I am WORKING so hard to just do the right thing. I have struggled with this throughout my life. Just striving and striving and never feeling enough. But I really feel I have turned a corner with that over the last few years, like I mentioned, giving myself more grace, realizing I am human and I can’t always be perfect, realizing I am ENOUGH.

There is this verse in the Bible in Romans 7:15 that says, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” In that passage it goes on to say that basically we all have that struggle because we all are not perfect. I try to remind myself that everyone struggles with this very thing. We all struggle to consistently do the things that are healthy for us and not do the things that are not healthy for us! All it means is that I am human.

Lately because of the lovely stage of life I am in… good ole’ perimenopause, which is causing my hormones to be out of whack, which is causing me to feel out of whack, I have really been trying to focus on healthy habits. I have been walking every morning first thing – moving, getting sunlight, I have been lifting weights, taking all the supplements, eating all the protein, staying away from sugar and alcohol. Doing ALL THE THINGS. And some days I still don’t feel myself. I have really been struggling more lately with this perfectionist mentality where I feel like I have to do ALL THE THINGS, EVERY DAY! I am trying to leave room for grace, but it has been a struggle. So, if you are struggling – with perfectionism, with messed up hormones, with no motivation, with giving in to your temptations because you feel like you cannot do it all ONE MORE DAY… you are not alone!

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.

DECLUTTERING CONFESSIONS

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Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday I wanted to share a few confessions about my decluttering practices. One thing I have been thinking a lot about is authenticity online. I think it is okay to have some boundaries online, but it is definitely a tough balance to keep some things private while still being authentic. There are parts of my life that I keep private because it has nothing to do with the content that I share. My aim with my blog and YouTube channel is to inspire and motivate people. My content is about cleaning, decluttering, and organizing. SO, with that said I want to share my confessions about decluttering as I think sometimes I think I can make it look simple.

My first confession: there are some items that I do not remove from my home right away. For the most part I actually remove all items I declutter from my home after collecting enough to take to a thrift shop. BUT, sometimes I have items that I am struggling to let go and I will stockpile those items in my laundry room cabinet. Typically these are items that I have a sentimental attachment to, but I do think it’s best to get rid of them. It does help to separate them out and keep them down there because I think it begins to break that attachment.

With regards to the stuff that I have decluttered, but really ends up in quarantine, I have a story to share with you. Recently I decluttered quite a bit of jewelry. This is one category that I really struggle to truly let go of it so I have quite the pile just quarantined in my laundry room. Unless I give it away to someone who I know will enjoy it. In this last round of decluttering I sent several pairs of large leather earrings to a friend who wanted them! But the other pieces I added to the growing pile that was still left in my laundry room. I decided to go through the jewelry really quickly to see if I was still feeling okay with letting it all go. I came across this bracelet that had the phrase “Choose Joy” inscribed on it. I actually purchased this bracelet along with a similar one that read “create” many years ago at a local boutique here in Austin. In general, I do not often wear bracelets. I find they just get in my way when I am trying to do everyday chores. I believe that is why I chose to declutter these bracelets. I was not wearing them often enough to warrant keeping them. But when I came across that “choose joy” bracelet, the meaning hit me a bit differently than when I purchased it. The artist who created this bracelet probably intended for the meaning to be a reminder to choose joy everyday. But this time when I read the message I thought to myself “choose joy” huh. Choose myself. Once again my name provides a double meaning for me.

I feel like one thing I have learned over the last several years is to quit putting myself last. Quit constantly putting everyone else’s needs and desires ahead of my own. Not in a selfish way, not in a rude way, but recognizing that it is okay to have needs and desires. Suddenly this bracelet’s message meant more to me than it previously did. AND, you guessed it, I did retrieve this bracelet from the declutter pile and I’ve been wearing it! So if you are really hesitating to follow through on decluttering something, or a category of things, it’s okay to wait until you are fully ready to let go!

My next decluttering confession is that I have had regrets on items that I have decluttered. But, honestly, it is only one category of things that I truly have regret for decluttering and that is the physical copy of Bible studies I have gone through. Usually after I am done with a Bible study I just recycle it unless it was something really meaningful and I thought I would revisit the information later. I wish that I had kept these as it might be a neat thing for my kids or grandkids to look through one day. I especially regret all of the inductive Bible study materials I got rid of. If you’re not familiar with this type of study, it is looking at the words used and cross referencing the Hebrew words for the Old Testament and the Greek for the New Testament. I have done this type of study for 15-20 books in the Bible over the years. I really wish I had kept all of those materials. BUT, I guess I can start over and save them moving forward!

My last decluttering confession is that I do experience guilt about the wasted money I spend on items I am decluttering. I have spoken about this before, but I recognize that it really is a privilege that I can declutter. I recognize that some people are more hesitant to declutter because they can’t easily financially replace items if they change their minds. I know that at one point in my life I used shopping as a way of coping with stress and anxiety. This is exactly why I chose to do a no buy year back in 2019, to reset these toxic habits. And I saw this habit creeping back in, especially over the past year, so I decided to do another no buy year this year. I do wish it had not taken me so long to learn that this was a coping mechanism. I don’t like how wasteful I was in the past, and I don’t like that I was on that consumerism hamster wheel. But all I can do is make better decisions moving forward!

I hope you found these decluttering confessions interesting! Let me know if you have any decluttering specific questions for me and I can address those in a future blog post. But as always, I would love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts today! Let me know down in the comments!

Here is the YouTube video I created in conjunction with this blog post.

NO BUY/LOW BUY JANUARY INSIGHTS

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Okay friends, for this week’s Thoughtful Thursday post, I wanted to share the insights I have gained so far from participating in a no buy/low buy year. I have actually been quite surprised that I have already experienced the benefits and gained so much insight just in the first month!

The first insight in doing this low buy year is it has made me hyper aware of how much money we spend! And since I am doing a low buy as opposed to “no buy,” I’m just talking about the necessities. I’m realizing how expensive life is even without the extras! This has caused me to evaluate some of our “necessities” like subscriptions we have and if they are actually worth continuing. I have already eliminated one subscription and there is another one I believe I will be discontinuing. In addition to being hyper aware of how much we are spending, I have also become aware of what others are spending. Not in a judgmental sort of way, but just in a noticing sort of way. The other day I was watching a haul on YouTube and I was just thinking about how she was going to have to deal with all of that stuff she brought into her home – clean, organize, and maintain it. And potentially make decisions around decluttering it one day. Doing this no buy/low buy year has made me more aware of consumerism, which is causing me to evaluate my own behavior.

The next insight that I have had on this low buy journey is how much extra we have on hand. Like food in our pantry and freezer, toiletries, and cleaners. I am being more intentional with what I purchase and working to use up what we have on hand. My husband and I currently have two of our three adult children living with us, so as a family of four adults we don’t need as much as we have had on hand. This has also caused me to get creative with the food we have in our pantry and freezer and make meals around what we already have available.

In addition to realizing I don’t need as much extra on hand as I have, I’m also realizing that I don’t need as many options as I have available to me. Because of this, I find that I am becoming more critical of my possessions and being more realistic with myself if I actually am using or loving certain items. I just did a whole house declutter the other day, which I shared the process over on my YouTube channel vlog style if you want to check that out! I’m realizing that I would rather have less to take care of than to have a lot of options available to me. I also recently decluttered my makeup collection and it has been so nice to have a more curated collection, which has made it much easier to get ready each day.

Lastly, I feel like this low buy year so far has caused me to be more creative. I didn’t think I was spending a lot of time shopping, but perhaps I was spending more time than I realized or perhaps just thinking about items that I potentially wanted to purchase was taking up brain space. Now I have more time and brain space for other things, like being creative! As I mentioned, I have been a lot more creative in the kitchen as I work to use what we have on hand. Also, on this note, having a more curated makeup collection has actually caused me to be more creative with the makeup I do have! I have to get creative with less makeup to work with. I have also been more creative with my YouTube channel – with editing, but also pursuing ideas that I have had but felt I didn’t really have time for. I recently started a decluttering with friends series on my channel where I will be filming in some friends’ homes to help them get their spaces decluttered and organized.

I am really excited to continue this journey to see what other insights I gain as the year progresses! I’m also just excited at the prospect of this no buy/low buy year really being a catalyst for pursuing minimalism. I have been pursuing minimalism for close to ten years now and I think this low buy year will really help as the inflow of items into my home slows down!

Here is the YouTube video I made in conjunction with this blog post.


MY NO BUY YEAR 2025

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Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday video I wanted to talk to you about my no buy or low buy year in 2025. I know I mentioned that I might be doing this in 2025 and I have officially decided that this would be a really good challenge for me this year. Shout out to one of my newer YouTube friends Leah, who really pushed me over the edge to encourage me to do this challenge! She is also doing a no buy challenge! She also has a discord group for anyone doing a no buy year and it’s already been amazing to connect with some like minded people!

I have done a no buy year in the past. It has been a while as that was back in 2019. I chronicled the whole process through blog posts here on my website so you can search back through and read those if you are interested. I decided to go back and skim through some of those blog posts as I wanted to recap lessons I learned so that I can get the most out of this round two of no buy year. The primary thing I would like to be conscientious about is how I am spending my time. I did learn that doing a no buy year actually gave me more extra time than I expected. At first I was not utilizing my extra time in a productive way, so I want to be sure to be aware of that this time around. I also want to be aware of not replacing shopping with other unhealthy vices. Instead I would like to replace it with things that are meaningful or will be good for me in the long run.

My primary goal with this no buy year is to really eliminate vices I use in my life to avoid doing difficult things, or to avoid self reflection/self growth. Something as simple as house projects I am avoiding. They need to get done, but I do other things and ignore them and then they keep piling up. I would like to tackle all of these house projects I have been avoiding, some for years. I think this shift will also help me to be more creative in general, and help me to step outside of my comfort zone more.

Another reason I want to do this is because I recognize that when you are trying to pursue minimalism or a simplified life, it is important to pay attention to the inflow as much as decluttering or the outflow. If we are continuing to purchase things without being intentional about our purchases, we can end up just constantly working at decluttering but not see much progress.

SO, let’s get to the details of this now buy year. Obviously it’s technically more of a low buy year because I will be purchasing basic necessity items. I will be purchasing food, toiletries, cleaners and anything I need for basic everyday needs. However, with regard to food, I will not be buying as much processed food as I have in the past. I will keep some convenience foods on hand, because I know for our family right now it’s impractical to not have any on hand. I will be transforming my pantry into a primarily ingredient based pantry and I will be sharing that process on my YouTube channel later this month! I will talk in more detail about food and how that will play out with my no buy year in the video where I makeover my pantry!

The main thing I want to focus on for this no buy year is clothing. I know that my biggest vice is shopping for clothes. I do feel like after my previous no buy year I got much better at being intentional with what came into my house in general, but even with clothes. I feel like slowly over the last 5 years I have gotten worse about truly being intentional, so this no buy year will be a reset for me. The only exceptions will be if I need to replace something – but I will be really ruthless with myself if it ACTUALLY needs to be replaced. The other exception will be purchasing a dress for my sister’s wedding. I may be able to use one I have, but I will allow myself to purchase a new one for that occasion. In addition to clothing I also will not purchase any new shoes or accessories. Again, I do have one exception because I really need a new computer bag, which I have been on the hunt for all year without luck! I also will not be purchasing any new home decor. But I will be purchasing items for all of those home projects that need to get done!

One category I want to address is health and beauty. I will purchase items that run out or need to be replaced, but I have a good morning and evening skin care routine that I am going to stick to and I’m not going to purchase additional products. I also regularly purchase vitamins and supplements and I will continue to purchase those as well as I find that health and fitness are one of my top priorities.

I am really excited about what this year will bring with this huge challenge I am undertaking! I’m also nervous, because I do remember that it was definitely difficult the last time I did it! I would love to hear what your thoughts are about this no buy year challenge. Have you ever done anything like this? If so, what was your experience with it? I would love to hear from you in the comments!

The YouTube video I shared in conjunction to this blog post.

NO SPEND YEAR IN 2025?

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Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I decided I wanted to talk about some of my ideas moving into the new year. This will be the final Thoughtful Thursday of the year because I will not be posting the week of Christmas. My son will be in town and I want to just focus on enjoying time with family that week!

So, in case you didn’t know this, I just turned 50 last month and I feel like it has caused me to really evaluate life. Well, really I have been quite introspective over the last 5 years or so. I have been constantly evaluating how I spend my time, energy, and resources. And I have done a lot of challenging things to intentionally push myself outside of my comfort zone to try to become a better person. I recently watched a documentary on Netflix entitled Buy Now. It is all about consumerism in Westernized culture and how marketing has gotten so specific with the rise in popularity of social media. One thing I have shared in the past as a decluttering tip is to be mindful not just of the outflow but also the inflow. You can do a ton of decluttering and consistently make that a part of your everyday or every week routines, but if you continue to bring things into your home it will feel like you have not made progress.

As I was watching this documentary I was evaluating my own recent spending habits and decided that I would like to make some changes. If you have been following me on social media you might know that I did a lot of traveling in 2024. Because of those trips, I purchased more clothes this year than I have in many years. Back in 2019, I decided to do a no spend year as a way to really deal with my spending habits especially with regards to clothes and home decor. I feel like I learned so much that year. I chronicle this experience here on my blog by writing a monthly blog post during that no spend year, so you can go back and read those. But this year, as I really evaluate things, I think some of those old spending habits have crept back in. 

Watching this documentary made me realize that some of it has to do with marketing, particularly on social media apps. I was talking with a friend about it and she also mentioned how easy it is to purchase things now through links – whether that is on a social media app or through an influencer. She talked about how all the “pain points” are removed. Oftentimes our credit card information is saved on our phone, or through Instagram, Amazon, or Google pay. Our name and address are also saved. We no longer need to enter all that information in and with one click we can have what we want.

So, with all of this said, I am considering doing a no spend year again in 2025! I haven’t fully decided if I am going to do this. I have also thought about alternatively “fasting” from something each month of next year. I’m still pondering all these details. If I do a no spend year, it will again be focused on clothes, shoes, accessories, and home decor. I will need to purchase things for fixing up our home, because there is a long to do list for home maintenance! One reason I thought about implementing this no spend year is because I remember one of the huge benefits of cutting shopping out of my life is how much extra time I had! I know that sounds a bit silly. But I am so bad at making decisions – deciding which color and which size and measuring to determine which size, and reading reviews, then often having to return things that didn’t fit. It just wastes a lot of time!

One thing I know about myself is that I am really good at keeping up with everyday responsibilities, and keeping up with healthy habits and routines, but when it comes to extra things that need to get done, I keep putting those on the back burner. Like I mentioned, there are a lot of projects that need done around our house that just take time to research and make decisions and I want to focus on that throughout this next year. Also, I truly thought I was done decluttering, but I am still noticing some things around my house that I could let go of. I want to continue to focus on decluttering our home and watching to see the difference it makes to mostly stop the inflow!

Let me know what kind of plans you have for the new year! I don’t necessarily like the term New Year’s Resolutions, but if that’s what you call them – let me know what yours are! Let me know what goals you have for 2025 or what ideas you have brewing for the new year!

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post!

10 CREATIVE HOME DECOR IDEAS

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Hey friends, today I am sharing another Thoughtful Thursday post. If you know me, then you know that I am intentional about what comes into and goes out of my home. I’m on a journey towards minimalism, curating spaces that only have the things I use and love. I guess you could say I like to be thoughtful about my home decor. Today I wanted to share 10 creative home decor ideas with you!

The first idea I have is to upcycle or repurpose items. Perhaps you have a piece of decor that you already own that you are no longer loving. You could spray paint it or use texture to change it up. I have used textured spray paint or terra cotta type paint to transform vases. You can also change up your furniture by painting it, sanding it down and re-staining it, or covering it with new fabric. You can also upcycle items that you find at a thrift store, garage sale, or online resale platform. It’s fun to find a reasonably priced piece and create something new out of it. In addition to this, you could repurpose items, like an old wine bottle, a jar, or some other recyclable items.

The second idea I have for you is to incorporate DIY decor. I just love unique and one of a kind decor pieces. When you create your own decor it is for sure one of a kind! Admittedly, I am not very skilled at making DIY decor. I do like to do home DIY projects, and I have built some furniture for our home. Most recently, last fall I made a pedestal table, and it’s fun to have this one of a kind piece in my home!

Another idea I have for you is to go thrifting! There are many places to go thrifting – antique malls, Etsy, Facebook Marketplace/Craigslist, garage sales/estate sales. It’s fun to hunt for treasures at these places. I really enjoy searching for vintage home decor while thrifting. You can often find creative pieces while thrifting, and the added bonus is this is an environmentally friendly option.

The fourth idea I have for you is to look for home decor on Etsy. There are a multitude of things you can find on Etsy, supporting small business owners and individual artists. I have purchased vintage items, downloadable prints, photography artwork, handmade pieces of art (like macramé), and unique floral stems (like pampas grass). Once again, you can find unique pieces to add to your home decor collection on Etsy.

I also enjoy shopping at local boutiques to find interesting home decor. I recognize not all cities have boutiques like this, and I’m sure I’m lucky to live in Austin where we have many! This is also another great way to support small business owners instead of shopping at big box stores.

The sixth idea is adding pieces of decor or furniture through inheriting them. Inheriting pieces from grandparents, parents, or other family members can be a great way to add to your decor collection. You can choose items that fit your style, but are also meaningful to you. When my grandmother passed away, my grandfather let us walk through the home and choose anything we wanted to remind us of our grandma. I chose this beautiful brass bird sculpture that reminds me of my grandma because she loved birds and bird watching. The brass aesthetic fits in with my style as well. It is a special piece of decor for my home.

You can also use books or other everyday home items when styling your spaces. We have many books that we would like to hold onto, but we are not going to necessarily read again. {{And by “we” I mean my husband!!}} I have used those books to style around our home. You could also use simple things like toilet paper stacked neatly on a bathroom shelf, or cotton pads and Q-tips displayed in a cute jar. I also have oil and vinegar bottles, and salt and pepper holders that are aesthetically pleasing to sit out on my kitchen counter doubling as decor.

Another idea I have for you is to use organizing tools as decor. I love choosing baskets or bins to corral things, but also to look pleasing to the eye. Whether it’s on a shelf or inside a cabinet, these items can serve dual purpose – for practical purposes, but also as decor.

The ninth idea I wanted to share is to use mass manufactured pieces sparingly. I do sometimes find pieces at big box stores or other nation-wide chains, but I like to just sprinkle those items amongst the decor pieces I purchased from other places mentioned above. When these items are styled along with these other unique pieces it makes it look less like a mass manufactured piece. In addition to this, you can look for pieces that look more artisan which will make it look more like a one of a kind piece.

Lastly, I wanted to share with you to look for dupes of higher end items. I will sometimes find a high end item that I absolutely love, but I just can’t spend the money on it. The internet provides an easy way to find dupes to add to your home. I have been eyeing that popular Anthropologie mirror, the Gleaming Primrose mirror. I was able to find a similar mirror on Amazon for a fraction of the cost! Pieces like this can make your home decor collection seem more upscale and artisan.

I hope these 10 creative home decor ideas were helpful for you today! I wanted to share this because I am so passionate about curating beautiful and unique home decor pieces as I pursue creating intentional spaces in my home! 

Here is the YouTube video I created in conjunction with this blog post.

15 Things I No Longer Purchase

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If you are new around here, you may not know that I have been on a long, slow journey towards minimalism. I’m learning the balance of making my home cozy, but also not owning an abundance of stuff! I’ve been learning what areas in my home it makes sense to own less, and then there are other spaces where I’ll be honest I like to have a variety – like clothes and shoes! One thing that I have found helps with keeping a minimal home is not just what goes out through decluttering, but also what comes in. I wanted to share with you 15 things I no longer purchase now! Not purchasing these items has helped to keep the inflow of items down. With that said, some of these items are consumable as well. All of these items are things that I used to purchase.

{{ONE}} First is dryer sheets. I used to use dryer sheets, however now I use wool dryer balls. I purchased the dryer balls a couple years ago and I really love them! Not only are they more environmentally friendly than dryer sheets, I actually like them better for making my clothes smell better! I just use a few drops of essential oil on the balls prior to adding them to my laundry in the dryer. In addition, dryer sheets often have chemicals in them.

{{TWO}} Next is plastic straws. I have been drinking protein shakes for my breakfast for a very long time and I used to use throw away plastic straws. Several years ago I bought some reusable metal straws and I have never bought plastic straws since!

{{THREE}} The next item I no longer purchase is plastic water bottles. Well, I no longer consistently buy these! After the crazy winter storm here in Austin in 2021 I decided maybe we should have a package of bottled water on hand in case of an emergency! On a day to day basis our family uses a reusable water bottle. We have a reverse osmosis system in our home, so our water is purified and tastes great! I think it tastes better than bottled water.

{{FOUR}} I also no longer purchase cans of soda. It was quite a while ago that I began learning about the importance of eating whole foods and avoiding unnecessary processed sugar. This ages me, but I recall really starting to get into whole foods when I was pregnant with my second who is now 20 years old! I used to drink a soda every afternoon for the caffeine and I would often drink soda on the weekends with pizza or take out. I have stopped purchasing cans of soda to have on hand. We do purchase sparkling water, which is somewhat of a substitute for soda. We also occasionally have soda when we get fast food, but I no longer regularly purchase it.

{{FIVE}} The next item I no longer purchase is pre-cut food. Pre-cut food is so much more expensive than purchasing it not pre-cut. It was definitely something that was very convenient when my kids were younger and I was busier with their schedules. Now that they are older, I find I have more margin in my life to devote to cooking – something I love to do! Cutting up fruits and vegetables is very cathartic for me and something I actually enjoy.

{{SIX}} Next up is magazines. I used to love magazines many moons ago before Pinterest and Instagram were a thing. I used to love home and home decor magazines for inspiration and even had a 3 ring binder that I would keep all of my magazine clippings in for home decor inspiration. Now I am inspired by photos on Instagram and finding ideas and inspiration on Pinterest. My in-laws do purchase Consumer Reports for us as a Christmas gift, but recently my husband and father-in-law had a conversation about how all of this information is easily accessible online, so it is silly to receive paper copies of this magazine, so we will no longer receive those after this year.

{{SEVEN}} Another item I no longer purchase is special events or holiday dishware. I used to have different dishes that were for specific holidays, only getting used once a year. Now I have all white dishes and serveware and can use napkins and table decor to make any holiday or event feel special!

{{EIGHT}} Along those lines, I no longer purchase special event clothes. I have several dresses in my closet to choose from and I use what I have on hand to make work for any special event or holiday.

{{NINE}} Next up is sale items. I used to be a sucker for the sale section in any store – clothes, shoes, accessories, and home decor! I would definitely get drawn in by the price and the “great deal.” Oftentimes these items didn’t last long and I would soon have a pile of things to declutter. Now I have different shopping habits where I am more intentional with what I bring into my home. Since I am not bringing as much into my home, I can spend a little more on fewer items that are more meaningful to me or I absolutely love. Don’t get me wrong – I will purchase something that is on sale if it is something that I love and would make a good addition to my home, but I do not shop sales just because there is a sale now.

 {{TEN}} I also no longer purchase souvenirs. To be fair, I will if it is something that is really meaningful, but I don’t purchase them just for the sake of having an item to remember a trip. I always take a lot of photos to remember trips!

{{ELEVEN}} Next, I no longer consistently purchase nail, brow, or lash services. I actually never did get lash extensions, so maybe I should not have included that, but it is in that same category! I used to consistently get my eyebrows waxed, but when COVID happened and a lot of those places shut down for a while I learned I could live without that! I didn’t ever consistently get my nails done, but I would get them done a few times a year and I have stopped going to get my nails done as well ever since COVID.

{{TWELVE}} Another item I no longer purchase is purses. I used to have a variety of purses and in different sizes and colors, but a while back I noticed that I really don’t like to take the time to switch my purse over to a different one and decided to only keep one. I use that purse basically until it breaks and then buy a new one. I tend to purchase a high quality purse so that it will last longer. I do have a smaller purse that can be a fanny pack, cross body, or clutch that I will use when we go out, but on the daily I only use one purse.

{{THIRTEEN}} I also do not buy the newest version of phone! I actually have never been one to purchase the newest available phone or electronics. I use my phone until it dies!

{{FOURTEEN}} Something else I no longer purchase is seasonal decor. I do have some seasonal decor that I have had for many years – some pumpkins, Christmas decor, and Easter decor, but over the last few years I have looked for decor that could be used year round. For instance, I have some brass deer which are great for Christmas or winter time, but would really work year round. I also like purchasing items that are a great color scheme for different seasons, but you could still use them year round. In general, I do not purchase new decor each year for every season.

{{FIFTEEN}} Lastly, I do not purchase things I cannot afford. Again, this is something we have always done as a couple and as a family. We have chosen to live debt free with the exception of our mortgage. Everything else we want to purchase we save up for. We don’t have any credit card debt.

Well, I hope this inspired you to think about items you could potentially quit purchasing, or at least made you think about why you purchase what you purchase. I would love to hear what things you no longer purchase. Do you have some of the same items on your list? Or do you have different items?

This is the YouTube video I made in conjunction with this blog post if you would like to check that out!

Why Do We Buy So Much Stuff + My Intentional Spending Year Progress

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For those of you new to my blog, last year in 2019, I did a No Spend Year. This included home decor, clothing, shoes, and accessories. I definitely learned a lot throughout that year. {{You can read about it in my No Spend Year Reflections, which I documented each month – check it out on my main page under No Spend Year!}} I did decide after that year to be more intentional with my spending moving forward. I have done one blog post discussing how I have been doing in 2020, My Intentional Spending Year, back in the spring. As I continue to move through 2020 I see that shopping is such a slippery slope, and even with some “rules” in place, it’s easy to get out of control. I’m considering re-evaluating my rules and implementing more or more well-defined rules for myself.

All of this got me thinking about how deep-seated my spending habits had become, and just like an addict going back to the thing they are addicted to, it got out of control fast. I really dislike using that word “addict,” but the truth is there really isn’t another way to explain it. Shopping can cause the brain to release dopamine just like any other “drug” of choice – drugs, alcohol, or even food! 

In an article found on Psychology Today, it stated, “Many people think that dopamine is released when the brain receives a reward, but dopamine is actually released in anticipation of a reward.” There was a study where monkeys were given a reward after they pushed a button 10 times, and it was found they released dopamine while pressing the button and not when they actually received the reward. Our brains are wired to release dopamine when we are in the process of looking for that perfect item, not just acquiring it!

In this time we are living in (I’m writing this in summer of 2020 during the Coronavirus pandemic), now more than ever people are looking for ways to experience that dopamine surge. Perhaps some things that used to give us this feeling, we can no longer do.

Not only does shopping give you a dopamine surge, you believe this next item will make you happy. The truth is, it works opposite of that. Every time you give into your temptation to get something new, it just makes it easier to give in the next time, and you are never really satisfied.

I am learning through this year, after doing a no spend year, that I definitely had an addiction to shopping. That is why it is so important for me to focus on being intentional with my spending in 2020. I still don’t feel like I have it “figured out.” I do feel like I continue to buy things because I believe in that idea that “this one last thing will make me happy” even if it is subconscious. Also, I’m learning to balance my love for making things beautiful with being very intentional with what comes into my home. Especially in this time when I am stuck at home so much, I see all kinds of things I want to make more beautiful throughout my home!

The positive thing in all of this is that I am aware. I think in the past I was not even aware of my behavior, or the psychological reasons behind spending/accumulating. Knowing is always the biggest step, because if you know then you can make changes! I’m already thinking about what I can do in 2021 to continue to make changes to my behavior. I’m pondering creative ways to put parameters on myself – which I find helpful for me specifically.

Here is the video I made for my YouTube channel in conjunction with this blog post.

My Intentional Spending Year Reflections, Part 1

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For those of you new to my blog, last year in 2019 I did a no spend year. You can read my reflections from each month by clicking on the “No Spend Year” link under categories on the right side of the home page. After that experience, I didn’t want to go back to my old spending habits. The reason I decided to do the no spend year was to reset some of my negative spending habits. Moving into 2020, I decided to do an “Intentional Spending Year,” focusing on being more intentional with what I brought into my home. I wanted to give an update on how that has been going now that we are well into the third month of the year.

At the beginning of the year, I was struggling to buy anything. Since I took a year long spending fast, it almost felt like “cheating” because my brain became so accustomed to not spending. So far, I feel like I have been very intentional about certain purchases, while other purchases I don’t feel like I am being as intentional as I had planned on being.

My biggest struggle so far this year has been with Poshmark. This is a clothing resale app in which you can buy and sell clothing to other users. There were several clothing items which I had “liked” even when I wasn’t purchasing clothing. For those of you not familiar with the app, it is set up similar to social media where you can follow certain people (their closets) and you can “like” certain clothing items. I did purchase several items from my “likes” over the first couple of months of 2020.

The other struggle I had was having items “stored up” from the year that I had my eye on or needed to replace, and really still wanted. Where I would only purchase 1-2 items like this per month in the past, I had several items I wanted. I needed a new black leather jacket (as my old had an obvious worn spot). I also had my eye on a specific pair of shoes that I had first seen probably 6 months ago. In addition to that, I had some workout clothes that were no longer fitting me right, and needed replacing (whoever designed high waisted workout pants are a genius! No more slipping! I replaced a couple pairs of tights that were not high waisted.) I needed to replace one of my white t-shirts that had a stain. And the list could go on!

Leather jacket and basic white t-shirt which I replaced.

Another struggle, which I mentioned in several of my no spend year reflections – was this idea of the slippery slope. I think I purchased some items just because it was “okay to buy things.” I realize now that my biggest struggle is with SHOES! I definitely make excuses as to why I “NEED” a pair of shoes.

Just one of my three shoe racks! I also have some shoe storage boxes on the top shelf of my closet to store out of season shoes!

I do feel like I’m slowing down on the purchases now that I’m through those first couple of months. Part of it is now I’ve purchased those things that I’ve had my eye on, or needed replaced. Another part of it is just being disappointed in myself – wanting to do a better job at being intentional with what comes into my home.

Pair of shoes I had my eye on for over 6 months!

If you read my past reflections from last year, you will know that clothing items were much more difficult for me to not purchase versus the home decor. I feel like I have been much more intentional with home decor purchases. In addition to that, I feel like I’m getting to a place where I can appreciate something in a store without having to purchase it. I probably am erring on the side of NOT purchasing when it comes to things other than clothing.

I purchased these brass birds from my friend’s vintage Etsy shop.

Even with clothing items, I did have a couple of “wins.” Unfortunately, in February, I had to travel back to my home town for my Grandma’s funeral. Ordinarily, I would want to purchase a dress for this occasion. I remembered back to my experience with wanting to purchase a dress for my son’s graduation, and realized I have plenty of dresses to choose from (even though they were all sleeveless or short sleeved and I was traveling to Indiana in the middle of winter! But I added a blazer and it worked!) I also went on a trip at the end of February. I often will purchase clothes specific for trips, but I chose to wear what I had – and I made it work!

Me with my four sisters at the lunch after my Grandma’s funeral.
My son and me at Magic Kingdom!

One other thing I wanted to share, which is difficult to open up about, is one of the reasons why I may have been spending more (other than I was “allowed to.”) I learned while on my no spend year that when I was tempted to shop, I replaced it with other habits – like watching Netflix for instance. As I reflect, I realize that oftentimes I am tempted to shop when I am stressed out or going through something difficult in life. It was my way of numbing out life. I have gone through several difficult personal things over the last few months – making me more susceptible to seeking out ways to find comfort. I’m thankful for the no spend year, and how it has contributed to my ability to see more clearly reasons behind my habits. Moving forward, I will find more healthy ways to deal with the stressors of life. I used to journal a lot, but have not been consistent for several years now. I want to use journaling as a way to brain dump my thoughts and feelings. I also want to turn to meditation and prayer when I recognize that I’m going down that path of self medication.

Moving forward this year, I would like to be more intentional than I have been thus far. Practically I am going to do this by doing a few things. First, I want to come up with more concise “rules” for my year. For my no spend year, I had specific rules that helped me stay on course. I didn’t really come up with specific rules for my intentional spending year. I think this will help keep me grounded. I plan on cutting way back on looking through the Poshmark app. I also plan on just not going into stores. This will be easy now that we are staying at home more with the Coronavirus pandemic. In addition, I plan to shift my focus. I found during my no spend year that I had so much extra time, and this was because my focus was shifted away from things! I will also, as I mentioned find healthier ways to deal with difficult circumstances in life.