Month: September 2025

DEALING WITH PERFECTIONISM

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Okay friends, this is the last Thursday of the month and I had been sharing a monthly recap on how my no buy year was going for that month on the last Thursday, however last month I ended up sharing late. I have decided I will wait until the last Thursday in October to recap and then we will be back on track for sharing the last week of the month! But, I will share a teaser and say I am still really struggling. And because of that I wanted to talk about an adjacent topic this week – perfectionism. I am sure I have talked about the topic of perfectionism before. If not the main topic, I know I have talked about my struggles with perfectionism and how I really like to call myself a recovering perfectionist because I have been a lot better over the past several years at giving myself grace when I’m not as disciplined as I would have liked to have been.

Over the years I have shared here on my YouTube channel a variety of different challenges I have put myself up to. I actually used to have a series on my channel where each month I chose a different challenge and shared my thoughts on how the challenge went. I think challenging myself outside of my comfort zone is a good thing. And some of the challenges have led to some long term healthy habits. But these challenges, like the no buy year, I think can lend itself to falling back into the perfectionism trap. While I think challenges can be good for setting a framework for eliminating bad habits or incorporating new good habits, it can also cause me to focus too much on behavior. What I mean by this is that sometimes just changing behavior isn’t enough. Changing the behavior doesn’t necessarily mean a change in my heart. Choosing to do the no buy year for me isn’t necessarily just about saving money, although that is a really nice side effect and I think it’s always good to be intentional with how I am spending. For me, it was more about changing my heart posture towards stuff. I don’t want stuff to be so important to me. The important things in life are relationships, experiences, and striving to make a difference in this world somehow.

Yes, it’s good to change the behavior, but the last part of this no buy year I want to focus on changing my heart posture. By just focusing on changing the behavior, that puts me back into a perfectionist mentality, where I am WORKING so hard to just do the right thing. I have struggled with this throughout my life. Just striving and striving and never feeling enough. But I really feel I have turned a corner with that over the last few years, like I mentioned, giving myself more grace, realizing I am human and I can’t always be perfect, realizing I am ENOUGH.

There is this verse in the Bible in Romans 7:15 that says, “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” In that passage it goes on to say that basically we all have that struggle because we all are not perfect. I try to remind myself that everyone struggles with this very thing. We all struggle to consistently do the things that are healthy for us and not do the things that are not healthy for us! All it means is that I am human.

Lately because of the lovely stage of life I am in… good ole’ perimenopause, which is causing my hormones to be out of whack, which is causing me to feel out of whack, I have really been trying to focus on healthy habits. I have been walking every morning first thing – moving, getting sunlight, I have been lifting weights, taking all the supplements, eating all the protein, staying away from sugar and alcohol. Doing ALL THE THINGS. And some days I still don’t feel myself. I have really been struggling more lately with this perfectionist mentality where I feel like I have to do ALL THE THINGS, EVERY DAY! I am trying to leave room for grace, but it has been a struggle. So, if you are struggling – with perfectionism, with messed up hormones, with no motivation, with giving in to your temptations because you feel like you cannot do it all ONE MORE DAY… you are not alone!

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.

NO BUY YEAR AUGUST RECAP

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For today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to share with you how my no buy year has been going for my August recap. I know I am a bit late in sharing my August recap! The short story is I failed AGAIN! Y’all. For whatever reason it is really hard to go 365 days without buying any clothes! Once again my failure was with clothing. This is solidifying the fact that my biggest struggle when it comes to shopping is clothing. I did purchase 2 pairs of jeans, once again because they were on sale and once again 2 pairs in order to get free shipping!! Tell me, do you add more items to get free shipping or is it just me?? The other thing I purchased, which honestly can’t decide if it’s a fail, is a new pair of shoes that I can wear in the water. The water sandals that I had I recently wore to a water park all day and I had horrible blisters. I think it’s because I have had them for so long the material, which is like a shoe string type material, got messed up to where I couldn’t un-tighten the string material from the bottom of the sandals. So, really I am just replacing something that was worn out.

The good news is that I have become more self aware with my feelings or state of mind when I was tempted to buy something. I talked about this last month, but once again I purchased those jeans when I was feeling down, basically like I needed a dopamine hit. I guess I am still struggling to turn to more positive avenues to get that dopamine. I am working on more positive habits to raise my overall mood. Mid-way through August I decided to start walking first thing in the morning before my morning coffee to get my blood flowing and to get sun on my face first thing. I do feel like it is generally helping with my mood! I am trying to give myself grace though. After these 2 more items, that comes to a total of 6 items for the year! That is less than one item of clothing per month! Even if you count the sandals, bringing it to 7 items, that is still less than one item per month. Speaking of the sandals, the difference I could tell with the sandals versus the jeans is that I didn’t do it to get a dopamine hit to feel better. I purchased them to replace something that was no longer working for me. This is why I’m on the fence as to whether the sandals constituted a fail.

Okay, now let’s move on to talking about the wins this month! I always decorate for fall at the end of August, so I have already decorated for fall and I did not purchase any new fall decor! Not even a candle! When I was decorating my fall porch, I really could have purchased a new door mat because ours is not in great shape. And the layering mat under our door mat is really no longer my style, but I decided to go with it anyway and not purchase anything new. In addition to that, I really could use some sort of greenery or foliage for the large planter on our front porch, but once again I made what we had work!

I was not at all tempted to purchase new home decor for the inside of our home, however I did contemplate buying a fall candle because I currently only have two scented candles and neither one is a fall scent. I decided to just use the one I got last year for Christmas and I will leave it out all fall and then into the holiday season. If I burn it out before the holiday season is over I will purchase another one.

There was something I wanted to chat about concerning this topic of fall decor and fall candles. There is nothing wrong with buying new decor for fall, BUT I did want to encourage you that you don’t HAVE to buy new decor and candles for fall! I feel like being exposed to social media and influencers, we are sold this idea that in order to get into the fall vibes we must purchase new things. Like part of getting into the fall feelings is going out and shopping. Experiencing fall doesn’t have to include shopping. Bringing fall feelings into our home can come through styling the fall decor we already have on hand, burning candles, baking fall treats, wrapping up in a cozy blanket in the evening with low lights on, or making yourself a fall inspired drink. Some YouTube videos or Instagram Reels that are fall inspired are centered around shopping, so I just wanted to remind you that those fall feelings can come from other sources than shopping! I have found that I have had to get more creative with what I already have on hand, and to me that is more fun!

Well friends, that is all I have to share for this Thoughtful Thursday! I hope it was encouraging or inspiring! I always like to hear your thoughts on my thoughts, so let me know down in the comments!

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.