POSITIVE MINDSET

Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to talk about having a positive mindset. I know that I often talk about positive self talk as a technique to keep a positive mindset. But I realized that when I share that I may make it sound like it’s a simple solution for negative thoughts or beliefs. I wanted to talk today about how I recognize this is absolutely not an easy thing to do.

Like any other healthy habit, positive self talk takes practice and repetition. I sometimes liken it to exercising. It’s not easy, but a necessary part of staying healthy. There are some days when I don’t want to workout, and the same is true for positive self talk. There may be days where I am struggling more to have a positive mindset, but I discipline myself to speak the positive, just like I discipline myself to do a workout on days when I’m feeling tired or just not in the mood to exercise.

The first thing we must do to get to a positive mindset is to be aware of our self-talk. Many of us talk to ourselves all day long unconsciously, not even really thinking about what kinds of things we are telling ourselves. Once we start becoming aware of those times when we are talking negatively or putting ourselves down, then we can start replacing those things with positive things. For a general example: if you recognize that you say to yourself, “I’m not good enough.” When you hear this, negate it by saying something like, “I am trying my best everyday.” Like I said, I acknowledge that this is not an easy practice. Anything we do that is pushing against what we naturally want to do is hard, it’s work. But I think it is worth it to do the work to get to a place where you have a positive self image and feel good about who you are.

Now I’m not suggesting you say something that is completely untrue about yourself with positive self talk. I’m just encouraging you to focus on the good in you, your character, and your talents. If we have a habit of focusing on the negative about ourselves, that is what I am suggesting to break. We still need to be accurate. It’s about creating new pathways in our mind so that we are in the habit of speaking positive to ourselves instead of negative.

I know some days can be really tough – for whatever reason. Maybe it’s a life circumstance, or maybe it’s just hormonal, but there are days that we may feel more down on ourselves than other days. I encourage you to reach out to a family member or friend who might encourage you through those moments. When we can’t speak kindly to ourselves, we may need to rely on others to remind us of the positive. 

I hope you have someone in your life who would speak positively to you, but if not there are a lot of positive affirmation videos on YouTube that could also help you! I actually like to make it a practice to listen to positive affirmations videos either before bed at night or first thing in the morning before getting out of bed. I have found this helpful for me to just maintain that positive frame of mind!

When you’re going through something really tough in life keeping a positive mindset can be extra challenging, so I don’t want to minimize whatever you might be going through that has caused you to struggle with a positive mindset. Like I said at the beginning of this chat, it’s not always easy. I have found that working hard to keep a positive mindset IN SPITE of difficult circumstances has truly helped me during those dark days! 

From my experience, overall I feel like once you experience that mindset shift, it is easier to continue on in it. It is like any other disciplined habit, the more you do it, the easier it becomes. And like I mentioned, you will still have those days that are a little more tough, but once it’s a habit it’s easier to bounce back!

THE REAL YOU

Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to talk about being authentic. I heard this message this morning from a Christian teacher, Christine Caine. I really love her messages, they are so inspirational! I will link her YouTube channel here if you want to check that out. She said something that really resonated with me. She said, “The real you is who you are when no one is looking.” This resonated with me because when she said that I thought to myself, I truly want to strive to be authentically myself in every situation in life.

Being authentically myself does not necessarily mean oversharing. I really value boundaries on social media and online. It can be a tricky line to walk, because you do want to be relatable, but I believe that it is okay and actually healthy to keep some things about your life private. I think this is especially true when it comes to relationships in your life. I just don’t think it’s fair to share things that are not your story to tell. And oftentimes in those situations, you hear one side of the story, which is also not fair to the other people involved.

What I am talking about, and what I thought of when Christine said that, was that I would be consistent in whatever situation I’m in. That my values would guide my behavior, my words, and the way I treat people. Now with that said, most people are multifaceted! They have many facets to their personalities, so we are not just one way all of the time. I just say this because I recognize in different situations, different parts of our personalities may be more obvious. It doesn’t mean we are being inauthentic, it just means that in that situation that aspect of our personality is showing more. 

Christine shared this analogy of building a building. There is so much that goes on behind the scenes when you’re building a building, or I thought about when I’m doing a makeover on a room. There is a lot that has to happen before we get to the part where we get to decorate and do the finishing touches. So often on social media, people just see the finishing touches. They have no clue what is going on behind the scenes or what went on behind the scenes. Like I said, not that we have to share everything that is going on in our lives on social media, but all too often people just portray this external façade, that just isn’t real.

Listening to her just got me thinking, how can I truly be authentic while also having those boundaries? How can I be vulnerable and relatable while also honoring the privacy of others? I hope I share openly enough online that others can see my authenticity. Also, while I do like to be relatable, creating YouTube videos, Instagram posts, and blog posts are a creative outlet for me, so I am going to present them in an artistic way. Something else I have thought about is that some people might think: it’s unrealistic for someone to clean their house dressed nicely with makeup on and their hair done. Perhaps, but this is how I have always cleaned, even before I had a YouTube channel. And then there are some days where I don’t get dressed and stay in my workout clothes all day, and if you have watched my videos for any length of time you have seen that too! That is authentically me, and that is how I have always been!

Here in my Thoughtful Thursday posts I like to share positive and encouraging things. Things that will inspire you, or motivate you. And that is how I am in my real life as well, with my family and with my friends! I may have some down days, or rough days where I don’t feel as positive, but for the most part I am a positive person!

I hope I come across to you as authentic. Today, I’m evaluating the way I portray myself to others, and thinking about if there is any way I can be more authentic! Well friends, as always, I love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts down in the comments. Please let me know what you think about this idea of being authentic and “the real you is who you are when no one is looking.”

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post!

CHANGING SEASONS

Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to encourage you, if you are in a difficult season in life, it is only a season. I have been thinking about seasons as we are finally changing seasons here in Austin! We are finally having some fall weather where the mornings have cooler, crisper air. When people talk about challenging times in life they often refer to an analogy that the winter was long and hard, but the spring is coming. For those of us in Texas, an analogy that resonates more is the summer was long and hard, but fall is coming! By late September, I am SO tired of the hot weather and I’m just longing for the crisp, cool mornings of TRUE fall!

Sometimes when we are walking through a difficult season in life it can feel so long and like it will never end. Somewhat like summer feels if you live in the southern states! Just like it’s hard to imagine the weather being cooler at the end of summer, in hard seasons of life it’s hard to imagine that things will feel positive and hopeful. I want to assure you, no matter how long you have been walking through a tough season, there is hope on the other side. You will one day feel the crispness of fall! 

I myself have been walking through a pretty tough season that has lasted quite a long time. I am just now seeing glimpses of hope that remind me that we will not forever be in a difficult season. There is hope for a change that is coming! I know more than anyone the perseverance it takes to live in a season that is challenging, so I can assure you that you can make it out on the other side!

While it can feel refreshing to exit a season of hardship, change is really never easy. At least for most people! Even when things are changing for the good, it can be scary to deal with the unknowns. Being aware and realistic with ourselves as we head into that new season can really help with this transition. While I was so excited for the cooler weather to return to Austin, I realized I had to change my schedule and go for a run a little later in the mornings now because it was not as comfortable first thing in the morning. It made me realize that we do need to be aware that change, even if it’s good, is not always easy.

Leaving a difficult season of life can bring so much opportunity for personal growth, finding purpose in life, and embracing a new perspective from what you learned in the season of darkness. So often it is in the difficult seasons of life that we actually grow the most – learning empathy and compassion, becoming more strong and resilient, and becoming more self assured. Also, in a season of hardship we may learn the value of self reflection as we process the difficulties we have endured and the value of acceptance as we may have had to learn to accept the way things are for that period of time. We must take these lessons with us as we move into a brighter and more hopeful season! This can be a great time to reevaluate your life because of the new outlook and potential new opportunities!

Well friends, I hope this Thoughtful Thursday was inspiring or encouraging to you today. As always, I love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts! I hope you might share your thoughts on this topic of changing seasons down in the comments!

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post!

IF IT FEELS LIKE A NO, LET IT GO!

Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to talk about a quote I recently heard from Joshua Fields Milburn. If you don’t know who he is, he is one of the two men who make up the content creators, The Minimalists. They have a podcast, YouTube channel, and they even have a documentary on Netflix. I have been following these guys for several years as inspiration on my journey towards pursuing minimalism. Recently in one of their podcasts, Joshua said something that I think is actually a catchphrase that he says often, “If it feels like a no, let it go!” I am sure I have heard him say this before, but on this day it just hit differently.

This may sound a bit dramatic, but I feel like for whatever reason when I heard this phrase on this day, it was a breakthrough moment for me. So often with my things I have looked at items and think that I don’t love it, but I like to have it around for an option. I especially struggle with clothes and home decor in this way. But as I began looking around my home, I started noticing a lot of “no’s.” There were several things that I was just holding onto to fill up a space or just in case. I have even said to clients before that “just in case” is a dangerous saying when it comes to making progress in decluttering. If I truly want to get to the place where I am managing less things, I have to quit saying “just in case” and I have to start saying “if it feels like a no, let it go!”

There is this cactus print I had in my bathroom for the longest time and it is a great example. It is something that I don’t really love anymore, but I was just keeping it to fill the space. I realized that it is okay to have spaces more simplified, and that is actually what has been more appealing to me lately. I purchased that print several years ago and I have displayed it in different places around my home. I’m beginning to realize that it’s okay for my tastes and style to change. Something I purchased 5 or 6 years ago may just not really be my style anymore. I am also realizing that if I purchased something and a year later decided I don’t really like it, that is okay too! It was not necessarily a waste, because that item taught me something. It taught me more about what my style is, or maybe it taught me to be more intentional and cautious when I make purchases.

Now suddenly as I am walking around my house I am seeing a lot of things that “feel like a no.” I was joking in one of my recent YouTube videos how I could have anything left to declutter, but the reality is over time I am just building my decluttering muscles and learning what actually is important to me! In addition to that, I have now been married for over 27 years and we have three kids, and had two dogs – and that is a lot of years of accumulation. So, it will likely take a lot of years of decluttering.

Over time I have learned that the decluttering process is kind of like an onion, the more layers you peel away the more is revealed. You don’t truly know how much stuff you have until you begin that process of hard core decluttering. The more layers you peel away, the more you learn to let go, and the more you realize what is truly important to you – what you really want to spend time caring for, cleaning, storing, and organizing.

I think more than anything, as I age I realize that relationships and experiences are so much more valuable than stuff! The more stuff I own, the more time it takes away from relationships and time and energy for experiences as I have to take care of that stuff. Slowly but surely I’m getting there! Well friends, I hope what I shared was inspirational or encouraging to you today. I always love hearing from you in the comments, so I would love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts!

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post!