Month: September 2023

GOD IS THERE

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Okay friends, if you have been around for a while and have heard my Thoughtful Thursday thoughts, you might know that I share a variety of things. Some weeks I’m thinking about decluttering or organizing, and other weeks I’m thinking about more serious or deeper things. I like to share it all!

If you follow me on Instagram, you might have seen that over last weekend I went on a women’s retreat with my church. Because of that, I have been really processing everything I learned over the weekend and wanted to share with you. Admittedly I hesitated to share this, because I know faith based content doesn’t resonate with everyone, but I was really feeling like I was supposed to share this. Even if it is to encourage one person. I don’t often share this vulnerably, so this is outside of my comfort zone, but I know that is good to do from time to time.

First I wanted to share that while on the retreat I felt a little frustrated or disappointed. I usually feel spiritually energized on women’s retreats. But this weekend was different. I was not “feeling it” so to speak. I was not feeling as emotional as I typically feel on a retreat. In hindsight I realized that I was really absorbing it all, because over the last few days I have really been processing and feeling very spiritually renewed! It’s funny that I would use that word renewed because that was the theme of the retreat! I think while I was there it was hard to really process everything because I wasn’t getting as much sleep as I usually do, I wasn’t eating as healthy as I usually do, and I wasn’t able to exercise.

In addition to that, I think my mind was distracted. Being on this trip made me realize how addicted I am to my phone. Although I don’t necessarily mindlessly scroll on social media apps a lot, I do mindlessly open social media apps to respond to comments, look for likes, and read chats I am a part of. After this weekend, I have decided to set up boundaries on social media. I used to not get on social media at all on Sundays as part of my day off, but somehow that crept back in as I wanted to keep up with chats. I decided to get back to no social media on Sundays. I have also been practicing just leaving my phone in another room so I’m not constantly inundating myself with media while I work.

The main thing that one of the speakers said that really resonated with me was the idea that it is okay if you feel like you are in a season of God being quiet. You may look around and feel like God is being so loud with other people – they seem to be experiencing Him emotionally, or they seem more passionate about their faith. But just because God is quiet, doesn’t mean He’s not working and it doesn’t mean He is not present. He IS still working and present in your circumstances. This really resonated with me since like I said, I was not feeling emotional on this retreat.

One of the speakers shared the analogy of a tree in the winter. What we see when we look at that tree is bareness. It is stripped of its leaves and it almost looks dead. But did you know that it is in the winter season that a tree’s roots grow deeper? This is the season for the tree to grow deeper to find the water. We are the same way – it is in the season of bareness that we can grow deeper in our faith. Sometimes it’s in this season of bareness or season of difficulty when everything is being stripped away from us that we can more accurately see what unhealthy thing we are turning to in order to fill the void in our lives. Because of my faith, I believe that God is the place I should be turning to for comfort, peace, joy, contentment. So often we think other things – like social media, entertainment, food, alcohol, shopping, you name it – will give us those positive feelings, but those things always leave us wanting.

The other big takeaway from this weekend is this idea that God is there. He is present even amidst the trials I’m going through. I know I don’t share in detail some of the things I have been going through the last several years, but I really think boundaries online are important. Nevertheless, I have been going through some tough things. I didn’t realize just how much until one time I was talking to my therapist and listing everything that has happened in the last five years, and listing it all together I realized it was a lot. All through this time I had been praying – for the situations and the people involved in those situations. I prayed alone, and I prayed with friends. And I’ll be honest, I started to feel really discouraged, wondering if God could hear me anymore. Feeling like God was… quiet. BUT, over the past few months I have started to see movement. I have started to see the answering of longstanding prayers. Years of prayers! We often don’t see what God is doing until we are looking through the lens of hindsight.

As I was processing this weekend, I kept thinking about God’s timing. How His timing is better than my timing. How I had learned so much in the past several years – about myself, about relationships, about people. I have grown so much as a person, and I wouldn’t trade that for the comfortable life I thought I wanted. God IS present, even in the quietness, even in the trials. He is there.

Well friends, I know this was a heavy chat today. If you stuck with me through this, I just wanted to thank you for allowing me to process the experience I had this past weekend. As always, I love to hear your thoughts too. Let me know your thoughts in the comments on what I shared today, even if there is something you disagree with me on or something you’re questioning. I’m open to dialogue about it! I wanted to share a worship song that we sang over the weekend that was really meaningful to me. The title is Make Room. Today I’m making room for whatever God wants to do in my life and I trust that He can still work amidst the trials!

Check out the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post!

HOW TO DEAL WITH CONFLICT

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Okay friends, for this week’s Thoughtful Thursday post I want to talk about a bit of a tough subject, and that is conflict resolution. I wanted to talk about the importance of conflict resolution and to share some healthy and unhealthy ways people tend to deal with conflict in life. We have all had to deal with difficult relationships or situations in life that require conflict resolution skills. Really no one can escape dealing with conflict at some point in life because we are all flawed, imperfect humans.

First I wanted to share the four ways people tend to deal with conflict, which I learned from a therapist. There is the conflict avoider, which is avoiding the conflict at all costs and appeasing others to do so. There is the passive aggressive approach, where the person makes snide or underhanded comments to try to convey their opinion. There is the aggressive approach where the person is overbearing in sharing their opinions and often raises their voice or looks visibly agitated. And the fourth is the assertive approach, which is the most effective and healthy way to communicate opinions, needs, or concerns. The assertive person shares in a respectful and loving way but is able to confidently address the issue at hand.

I will share that for most of my life I was an avoidant. And admittedly, I still avoid conflict with certain people or in certain situations. But as I have aged I have learned that sometimes when we avoid, that leaves us feeling frustrated, angry, and/or resentful. I got to a point in life where I did not want to continue to live in such a way that others were in control of my emotions. Being a conflict avoidant person goes hand in hand with being a people pleaser because you don’t want people to be upset with you, and you don’t want people to feel uncomfortable in general. But I would argue that it develops deeper and more meaningful relationships when we are able to share our hurts, opinions, and needs. There may be times when you can overlook an offense and move on, but you must really evaluate if you are overlooking and moving on just to keep the peace and you actually still hold onto resentment towards someone, or if you have truly let it go.

Next is the person who is passive aggressive about their hurts, opinions, or needs. This person can be very difficult to deal with. This type of person leaves you to read between the lines in trying to decipher what they are saying. They often feel like they have said enough that the other person should be able to figure out what they mean. But we can’t read their minds! The reality is, if you have a problem with someone and you don’t clearly and concisely address it – you can’t blame them for not doing anything. Only you are responsible for your own thoughts and feelings. If there is something you can’t let go, you must address it because people can’t read your mind.

The person who is aggressive can be just as difficult to deal with. Although they may be sharing their thoughts and feelings openly, they often do it in such a way that places blame – using “you” statements instead of “I” statements. They tend to not take ownership of their feelings, but instead blame others for their feelings or for the situation being the way it is. I don’t know if you have ever encountered someone who is aggressive in communicating, but it can be very unnerving and can cause a lot of anxiety which in turn hurts the relationship. People tend to begin to fear those who communicate aggressively, leaving that person more likely isolated as others don’t want to have conflict with them. Their relationships can then become very shallow.

Obviously, the best and most healthy way to handle conflict is assertively. When you share your needs or concerns in a gentle way, using “I” statement (like “I feel blank because of this fill in the blank situation”), it is more likely to be well received. I am forever thankful for the amazing girlfriends I have here in my neighborhood. Several of them do this assertive communication so well, and it has taught me that it is okay and safe to share my thoughts and opinions too. It does take practice and you won’t always do it perfectly, but hopefully the person on the receiving end will have enough grace for you as you do your best to convey things in a kind and loving way.

Being assertive builds stronger bonds in relationships as you are able to be authentically yourselves with one another. I don’t know about you, but I think it feels so good to be in relationships where I am seen and heard. It makes me feel closer to the friend or family member when I’m able to be vulnerable like this. Even if it’s not intuitive for me, I still choose to find the bravery I need to address what needs to be addressed. And if they are genuine and true friends, they will receive your concerns thoughtfully and with grace. Even if in the end you agree to disagree, that’s okay too!

Well friends, I know this was a rough one – well, really it was just a rough thing for me to hear and learn to make healthy changes in my own life. I hope this chat was encouraging for you today! Please let me know your thoughts on this topic in the comments!

Here is the YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post!

BALANCING MINIMAL AND COZY

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It’s that time of year where we all want our spaces to feel cozy! Fall equals soft blankets, candles burning, cozy sweatshirts, and baking all of the fall goodies! But today I wanted to talk about the struggle I have had as I pursue minimalism to create spaces that are minimal but also cozy!

When I first started pursuing the idea of becoming minimalist I thought I could never be a minimalist because I really enjoy decorating our home to make it more cozy and inviting. Eight years later, I’m realizing that “minimalism” is not a one size fits all. There is no true definition of minimalism, or a box you can put it in. To me, it just means living with the things I use and love. With this in mind, I wanted to share with you the ways I make my home cozy and inviting while still striving towards minimalism.

It can be challenging to find the balance between minimal and cozy for me as I love decorating and making our spaces feel inviting, but I also don’t want my spaces to feel too cluttered. For me it has just been a process of trial and error, living with decor set up and deciding how it feels and if I hit that balance. I feel like the longer I have pursued minimalism, the better I get at figuring out that balance.

I do like having some holiday decor pieces, however I also like to have some items that I just leave out year round and might rearrange them for a new look. Rearranging my decor helps me to keep minimal extra decor stock in my home, because it feels fresh and new when I move it to a different room, or set pieces up in a different arrangement. I also like having pieces that transition well into multiple seasons so I’m not taking all of my decor down for each new season.

Another way to achieve cozy and inviting spaces in your home has nothing to do with physical stuff, but it’s more about making a space feel a certain way. This is the idea of Hygge (pronounced HOO-GUH). This is a cultural practice that was first used in Denmark, but has been used throughout the Norwegian countries. I’m not sure if you have heard of this term before, but it incorporates focusing on the five senses, using different textures like with pillows and blankets, using ambient lighting, having calming music playing in the background, having a scented candle burning, an oil diffuser going, or even something cooking or baking in the oven. Having a delicious home cooked meal, or a homemade loaf of bread can make a space feel cozy! You don’t necessarily need stuff to create that cozy and inviting feeling in your home.

Another way to achieve that cozy feeling while still keeping things minimal is creating an environment where people feel welcomed – whether that’s family or friends. Focusing more on the relationships – conversations, hugs, or cozying up with one another under a blanket provides that inviting feeling. Arguably, stuff just distracts from those intimate moments!

Something else that makes a space feel cozy, even if it’s minimal, is a space that is in order. Of course I’m going to mention the importance of organization and cleanliness to create that cozy and inviting feeling. Chaos in our physical space can breed chaos in our minds, which does not lend to a feeling of coziness or peace. Just having a clean and orderly space can help you achieve that feeling of coziness, and obviously that is easier to do with less stuff to take care of.

When I first started pursuing minimalism and would see some of the images in blog posts or in videos, I wasn’t sure that was for me. I didn’t like the idea of living in a space that had sparse things. But now I’m learning there is a balance and I can achieve both minimal AND cozy! I love to hear from you in the comments! Let me know if you are trying to pursue minimalism and have that balance between minimal and cozy. Or let me know how you make your spaces cozy for the fall season!

Here is the YouTube video I created in conjunction with this blog post if you would like to check it out!

8 TIPS TO KEEP YOUR PANTRY ORGANIZED

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Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday I wanted to share some tips with you on how to keep your pantry organized. I was having a conversation with some friends on Marco Polo where we were all talking about our pantries and what works for us and what doesn’t and it inspired me to share these tips with you!

My first tip is to have bins and containers with broad category labels to store your food. Storing food according to like categories is a great way to easily find what you need in your pantry. When you choose broad labels it makes it more flexible if you’re not purchasing the exact same things every week. These bins act as drawers in your pantry making it easier to keep things contained. It’s also a more efficient use of space to take things out of the original boxes or packaging to make your pantry more streamlined. You don’t have to spend a lot of money to achieve this look. You could use bins from around your home, or even cardboard boxes to contain things. Honestly, there are a lot of affordable bin options out there these days, including the white bins I have in my pantry (pictured below). I purchased them from The Container Store and these are the large and medium sizes, costing $6.99 and $4.99 respectively.

My second tip is to invest in uniform bins if you can. Having uniform bins will not only fit more efficiently, but will also make your pantry look more aesthetically pleasing. You might notice in my pantry I have a few different styles for different types of food. I like using the white bins to store broad categories of food, the plastic storage boxes with the white lids for snacks and other categories we are getting in and out of regularly or taking with us to different rooms, and the glass jars are great for staple dry goods such as rice, pasta, and quinoa. I really love those glass jars for storing baking items as well, which I don’t store in this pantry.

With all that said, tip number three is to only purchase containers if you have the time and are willing to decant your food. It will be more disorganized if you have the containers and packaging in your pantry. I actually find it very cathartic to decant my food, so I really enjoy it, but I know it’s not for everyone.

My fourth tip is to spend time regularly tidying your pantry. I usually give our pantry a little tidy each week when I pick up groceries and decant all of the food I purchased. Even though my family members know the system I have in place, they don’t always put the snack boxes back exactly where I would, so I take that time to just put everything back where I like it. I also like to take everything out every three months or so to wipe everything down in order to get it clean and back in shape!

Another tip I have is to inform your family of your pantry system. Like I mentioned, my family knows the general system I have set up for our pantry. If family members know the basic system, they can help stay on top of putting things where they belong making it a more effective system. You could add labels to the bins to make this easier for family members, and I find labels also aesthetically pleasing.

The sixth tip I have is to use the back of the pantry which is more difficult to get to for back stock. This is obviously for those of you who have a deeper pantry like I do. If you don’t have a deep pantry, maybe there is another space in your home where you can store back stock. In addition to storing things in the back of our pantry, we also have a secondary pantry where I store things that have a longer shelf life that I can purchase at Costco.

Another tip I have is when decanting your food, dump out old product into a dish before adding the new product to the container so it can be on top and used up first. Whenever I’m decanting dry goods into a jar or storage container, I like to be sure the older product is on top so it gets used before the newer product. When decanting liquids, I only add more into the uniform bottle if I’m adding from an already opened product. Once that product is gone, I use it up fully then wash out the uniform bottle with soap and water before opening a new product and adding it.

The eighth and final tip I have to share is to be realistic about the space you have for food and intentional with only purchasing what you can store. If you don’t have a deep pantry, or a secondary pantry, you will not be able to keep a lot of back stock on hand. The less space you have means the less food you will be able to have on hand. Being realistic about your space boundaries for food will help you to not have a cluttered pantry, which will make it easier to keep organized.

Well friends, I hope these tips helped you today! I love hearing from you in the comments, so share any tips you have to keep your pantry organized!

This is the video I shared in conjunction with this blog post if you would like to check it out!