Month: June 2023

DEBUNKING THE BUSYNESS CULTURE

/ OrganizedWithJoy / Leave a comment

Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to talk about the culture of busyness. I have often talked about living intentionally, and part of that is living at a slower pace – spending time on the things I love and the things that are important to me, and cutting out the things that just keep me busy.

In today’s fast-paced world, many people are proud of how busy they are. They may believe this busyness is a sign of importance or productivity. Today I wanted to challenge this glorification of busyness and the idea that constant activity is synonymous with success and/or fulfillment. I wanted to debunk this idea that busyness is always positive by sharing the detrimental effects it can have on our mental well-being, relationships, and overall quality of life.

Ryan Holiday, an author and content creator has said this: “Whenever you say ‘yes’ to something, you’re saying ‘no’ to something else.” We all make decisions on how to spend our time. And we all have a finite amount of time. If we say yes to lots of things, then we may be forfeiting time to rest and rejuvenate. 

One of the primary things I wanted to talk about is this assumption that being busy equates to productivity. The reality is, busyness often leads to inefficiency and burnout. When we have a lot on our plates, our ability to focus on and prioritize tasks diminishes. This affects our productivity and our quality of work. Being busy is different from being productive, and I think people often don’t realize this.

Something else I wanted to address is the effect constant busyness has on our mental well being. The constant pursuit of busyness can over time take a toll on our mental health. Having nonstop obligations leave little room for rest, relaxation, and self-care. All things that I think can be undervalued. This can lead to stress and anxiety which causes emotional exhaustion. Rest and relaxation are not a negative thing, these are not things to be viewed as being lazy, but instead as part of a healthy lifestyle. Scheduling in times of rest prevents you from being lazy by making a plan in your schedule for rest AND for work. When we give our brains, bodies, and emotions time to rest and rejuvenate, we are more likely to be productive when we are working. If you think about athletes training, they schedule in time to allow their bodies to rest for their muscles to recover. Our brains are no different, and need time to recover as well.

Our relationships can also take a toll when we are constantly busy and have a packed schedule. In the pursuit of busyness, we can sometimes sacrifice quality time with friends and family. When we are busy all of the time, it can be difficult to be present in the moment as we do interact with others, we may be thinking of all the other things that we must get done. Deep and meaningful relationships require time and attention. When we leave little margin in our lives to develop these kinds of relationships, we are left feeling alone and/or disconnected. We must schedule our time in a way that we can be fully present in everything we do, including time with people fostering these deeper connections.

Contrary to popular belief, a truly fulfilling life cannot be measured by the number of tasks we accomplish each day. Busyness can cause us to not live in the moment, and therefore we may miss life’s little pleasures as we are rushing from one task to another or one activity to another. Again, as we keep a schedule that allows for margin we are more likely to truly live in the moment, enjoy the little things, and therefore experience more gratitude in life. If we have a balanced life of productivity and the ability to live in the moment our quality of life will go up!

To counteract this culture of busyness, we must embrace simplicity and mindfulness. Simplifying our schedules, and learning what to say yes to and what to say no to can create the space we need for this type of presence in each task and activity in life. As we are more mindful of how we spend our time, we begin to become self aware of our priorities and moving forward we can begin to choose our time doing the things that align with our values and goals in life.

I did want to say that I recognize that there will always be busier seasons in life. I remember when my kids were all school aged we felt busy and on the go constantly. This was just a season. Also, we chose to combat the extreme busyness by limiting the number of activities our kids could participate in each season. We wanted to teach them the value in not overcommitting and to be fully committed to the things they wanted to invest their time in. We not only embrace these ideas for ourselves but to teach our children the value of rest and self-care. 

Lastly, I just wanted to encourage you to challenge our culture’s narrow view of success, which often revolves around busyness and external achievements. True success should be viewed more holistically, accounting for mental well being, healthy relationships, and personal fulfillment. When we adopt this mindset, we will be able to escape this culture of busyness and replace it with something far more meaningful.

This is the YouTube video I posted in conjunction with this blog post.

DO ORDINARY THINGS IN AN EXTRAORDINARY WAY

/ OrganizedWithJoy / Leave a comment

Hey friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to talk about a quote I posted over in my Instagram feed this week. The quote says, “The true call of a Christian is not to do extraordinary things, but to do ordinary things in an extraordinary way.” This quote is from Dean Stanley, an Anglican priest from the 1800’s. Although he speaks in terms of a Christian having this life ethic, I think this could apply to anyone. Do ordinary things in an extraordinary way.

I think it is easy to feel like what we are doing with our lives doesn’t matter. We can feel like these little mundane day to day tasks aren’t making a difference and we wonder if there is something grand we should be doing with our lives. This quote reminds us that we can do an extraordinary job right where our feet are planted. Sometimes we get so caught up in dreaming about what we should be doing that we don’t look at the opportunities right in front of us! 

Living an extraordinary life does not always include performing grand acts as defined by our culture. Living an extraordinary life happens when we are fully present in ordinary moments in life, being able to fully appreciate the moment for what it is. I talk often on my social media about living intentionally. Part of living intentionally is recognizing the importance of the mundane. These everyday ordinary moments make up the whole of our lives. When we approach these moments with mindfulness and enthusiasm, we then can uncover this extraordinary meaning in the mundane. Whether it’s taking care of children, preparing a meal, cleaning the bathroom, or engaging in conversations, we can find these experiences extraordinary when we infuse these moments with passion, creativity, and attention to detail.

In order to do ordinary things in an extraordinary way, we must approach each task, regardless of what it is, with a commitment to excellence and attention to detail. So many of our daily tasks can become mundane. When tasks become part of everyday routines or habits we can begin to do them on autopilot instead of living in the moment. These simple everyday tasks like exercising, making our beds, or answering emails can be done with precision and care and have a remarkable impact on the people around us as well as our internal thoughts. It is through this attention to detail that we begin to develop a reputation for excellence as we demonstrate that we go above and beyond in everything we do. 

When ordinary actions are carried out in an extraordinary way, the ripple effect it has on others can be profound. Especially if you are a mother with little eyes on you – they will absorb this work ethic. I can tell you, now having young adult children, that what you do is far more important than what you say. By infusing our daily interactions with kindness, empathy, and genuine interest, we have the power to positively influence those around us. Ordinary conversations can become extraordinary when we are present in the conversation – actively listening, offering support, and providing encouragement. Not only does this provide more meaningful connections, but it could also inspire that person to pursue their own extraordinary path.

In addition to these external benefits of doing ordinary things in an extraordinary way, there are also internal benefits. As we challenge ourselves to approach everyday, routine tasks with a growth mind-set and a commitment to self-improvement, we will begin to change the internal as well. This can push us to become more creative or expand our potential. We speak to ourselves more than anyone else speaks to us. We must be aware of the things we are saying to ourselves and redirect this belief that the ordinary is unimportant. We can choose to create a life of purpose and meaning through making the ordinary truly extraordinary.

As a homemaker, I have always pursued the work I do here in my home with excellence. I’m thankful to my parents who taught us high work ethic and to value putting in our full effort in anything that we did. I have not always done this perfectly and I know there have been days or even seasons in my life as a homemaker that I was just trying to make it through each day.

I wanted to share a story with you to remind you that while I fully believe in doing ordinary things in extraordinary ways, I acknowledge that this isn’t always easy. The year our daughter, who is our oldest child, graduated from high school was the same year our middle son graduated middle school and our youngest graduated elementary school. I’m not sure how the cosmos aligned to create this kind of upheaval of change in our lives, but this is nevertheless how it played out for us. That spring was tough for sure, and I think maybe in hindsight we should have invested stock in Kleenex before hitting this phase of life. But nothing would prepare me for what happened the following fall when the new routines set in, with all three of our kids in a new season of life.

That year was really rough for me mentally, which is probably not surprising. I wasn’t officially diagnosed with depression, but my behavior pointed to a depressive season of life. I felt lost, which made me not want to pursue things I used to love doing. In the fall of the following year, a local boutique owner reached out to me to see if I would like to work for her. I was a regular in her boutique and we had developed a friendship through my visits. I worked for her for a year and a half, and so appreciated that time which pulled me out of my funk and gave me new purpose and inspiration in life again. I actually quit working for her to start up my own business as a professional organizer!

We may go through days or even seasons in life that it is difficult to be present and to pursue our work with excellence, however we must keep pressing forward reminding ourselves that we can be extraordinary wherever our feet are planted!

The YouTube video I posted in conjunction with this blog post.

DEALING WITH ANXIETY, OCD, & PERFECTIONISM

/ OrganizedWithJoy / Leave a comment

Hey friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday I wanted to talk about something that has recently been on my mind. I have been thinking about mental health and balancing mental health challenges with my everyday life. For those of you who don’t know, I have shared in the past that I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder around 15 years ago. Dealing with anxiety in my day to day life is now just the norm for me.

One thing that I haven’t really talked much about is my obsessive compulsive tendencies. I have not been officially diagnosed with OCD, but from what I know about this disorder it is often closely linked with anxiety disorders. Many people who have anxiety tend to have obsessive compulsive behavior to quiet the anxiety. We believe, although incorrectly, that if we could just do this one thing or control this one thing THEN we won’t feel anxious. The problem is there seems to be that one more thing that we believe will quiet our anxiety and it never really ends.

Now while I have not spoken much openly about these struggles, it may be obvious even to those uneducated about OCD. I am sure some people have thought to themselves “Joy goes a little overboard when it comes to cleaning, organizing, or decluttering.” Go ahead – raise your hand if you thought this! My response to that is I KNOW! I know I go overboard at times and that is one way I handle my anxiety.

Like I mentioned, I have been thinking about this more recently, and wondering if I need to find ways to better manage that anxiety. On the one hand, it has served me well in the sense that it has caused me to be highly motivated and disciplined in managing our household. However, it does get to the point where I have to evaluate how I spend my time. As someone who likes to live an intentional life, I am always evaluating what I do with my time and energy. 

I think something else that goes hand in hand with OCD is perfectionism. It’s easy to get caught up in the details and perfecting something when your anxiety is driving you and that manifests in obsessive compulsive behavior.

One of the things that I have been thinking about to practically help me navigate the OCD thoughts is to be realistic with myself about any given project or task. This can be very difficult for me as I was raised with a high work ethic. I was taught to do everything with excellence. And again, this is a great quality – but not when it interferes with relationships and other more important things. I’m learning to sometimes say “good enough is good enough.” I’m learning to evaluate when there are things that require A+ work versus the times when C+ work will suffice. This has been hard for me, but like I said – I’m learning.

Something else I do when I start to feel that anxiety rising because I feel like a project, task, situation, or circumstance feels out of control – I stop and ask myself: will this matter to me 5 years from now? How about 1 year from now? Or a month from now? Often I find that things that really upset me will not matter in the grand scheme of life. This helps me to let it go more easily.

Lastly, I like to make lists when I feel overwhelmed with life. Sometimes I can get out of control trying to do everything at once, or pushing myself too hard. If I make a list of things that need to get done, then I can more appropriately delegate tasks to different days. Once it’s on paper it can put my mind at ease. With that said, this doesn’t always work for me. Especially if it’s a big, ongoing project, I sometimes just want to keep working until it gets done.

I just want to encourage you today, no matter what struggle you may be going through, to give yourself grace. All you can do is work on things a little at a time, and try to be better today than you were yesterday. Self awareness is a great start because that’s where you can begin to make changes!

Here is the YouTube video I posted in conjunction with this blog post.

10 CREATIVE HOME DECOR IDEAS

/ OrganizedWithJoy / Leave a comment

Hey friends, today I am sharing another Thoughtful Thursday post. If you know me, then you know that I am intentional about what comes into and goes out of my home. I’m on a journey towards minimalism, curating spaces that only have the things I use and love. I guess you could say I like to be thoughtful about my home decor. Today I wanted to share 10 creative home decor ideas with you!

The first idea I have is to upcycle or repurpose items. Perhaps you have a piece of decor that you already own that you are no longer loving. You could spray paint it or use texture to change it up. I have used textured spray paint or terra cotta type paint to transform vases. You can also change up your furniture by painting it, sanding it down and re-staining it, or covering it with new fabric. You can also upcycle items that you find at a thrift store, garage sale, or online resale platform. It’s fun to find a reasonably priced piece and create something new out of it. In addition to this, you could repurpose items, like an old wine bottle, a jar, or some other recyclable items.

The second idea I have for you is to incorporate DIY decor. I just love unique and one of a kind decor pieces. When you create your own decor it is for sure one of a kind! Admittedly, I am not very skilled at making DIY decor. I do like to do home DIY projects, and I have built some furniture for our home. Most recently, last fall I made a pedestal table, and it’s fun to have this one of a kind piece in my home!

Another idea I have for you is to go thrifting! There are many places to go thrifting – antique malls, Etsy, Facebook Marketplace/Craigslist, garage sales/estate sales. It’s fun to hunt for treasures at these places. I really enjoy searching for vintage home decor while thrifting. You can often find creative pieces while thrifting, and the added bonus is this is an environmentally friendly option.

The fourth idea I have for you is to look for home decor on Etsy. There are a multitude of things you can find on Etsy, supporting small business owners and individual artists. I have purchased vintage items, downloadable prints, photography artwork, handmade pieces of art (like macramé), and unique floral stems (like pampas grass). Once again, you can find unique pieces to add to your home decor collection on Etsy.

I also enjoy shopping at local boutiques to find interesting home decor. I recognize not all cities have boutiques like this, and I’m sure I’m lucky to live in Austin where we have many! This is also another great way to support small business owners instead of shopping at big box stores.

The sixth idea is adding pieces of decor or furniture through inheriting them. Inheriting pieces from grandparents, parents, or other family members can be a great way to add to your decor collection. You can choose items that fit your style, but are also meaningful to you. When my grandmother passed away, my grandfather let us walk through the home and choose anything we wanted to remind us of our grandma. I chose this beautiful brass bird sculpture that reminds me of my grandma because she loved birds and bird watching. The brass aesthetic fits in with my style as well. It is a special piece of decor for my home.

You can also use books or other everyday home items when styling your spaces. We have many books that we would like to hold onto, but we are not going to necessarily read again. {{And by “we” I mean my husband!!}} I have used those books to style around our home. You could also use simple things like toilet paper stacked neatly on a bathroom shelf, or cotton pads and Q-tips displayed in a cute jar. I also have oil and vinegar bottles, and salt and pepper holders that are aesthetically pleasing to sit out on my kitchen counter doubling as decor.

Another idea I have for you is to use organizing tools as decor. I love choosing baskets or bins to corral things, but also to look pleasing to the eye. Whether it’s on a shelf or inside a cabinet, these items can serve dual purpose – for practical purposes, but also as decor.

The ninth idea I wanted to share is to use mass manufactured pieces sparingly. I do sometimes find pieces at big box stores or other nation-wide chains, but I like to just sprinkle those items amongst the decor pieces I purchased from other places mentioned above. When these items are styled along with these other unique pieces it makes it look less like a mass manufactured piece. In addition to this, you can look for pieces that look more artisan which will make it look more like a one of a kind piece.

Lastly, I wanted to share with you to look for dupes of higher end items. I will sometimes find a high end item that I absolutely love, but I just can’t spend the money on it. The internet provides an easy way to find dupes to add to your home. I have been eyeing that popular Anthropologie mirror, the Gleaming Primrose mirror. I was able to find a similar mirror on Amazon for a fraction of the cost! Pieces like this can make your home decor collection seem more upscale and artisan.

I hope these 10 creative home decor ideas were helpful for you today! I wanted to share this because I am so passionate about curating beautiful and unique home decor pieces as I pursue creating intentional spaces in my home! 

Here is the YouTube video I created in conjunction with this blog post.

FEELING LIKE A FRAUD

/ OrganizedWithJoy / Leave a comment

Okay friends, for today’s Thoughtful Thursday post I wanted to address something that I’ve been thinking about lately and that is feeling like a fraud. This is something most people experience at some point in their lives. This is such a common way to feel. So much so that psychologists have coined the phrase “imposter syndrome” to describe this feeling. Two clinical psychologists, Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes first identified and named this phenomenon back in 1978. The definition for imposter syndrome is the condition of feeling anxious and not experiencing success internally, despite being high-performing in external, objective ways. This condition often results in people feeling like a “fraud” or “a phony” and doubting their abilities. 

I wanted to talk about this, because I feel like it is one of those taboo subjects that people feel this way, but don’t talk about it. Like I mentioned, it is natural to feel like a fraud from time to time. Often, it is just not true. We only see people from external appearances or what they portray – either on social media or in real life. Often we are comparing our internal feelings about ourselves to the external things we see others doing or accomplishing. I want to encourage you today to see things from a proper perspective when you are having those feelings. I want to share some practical things you can do when you are having this feeling. Feeling like a fraud can be a sign of self-sabotage, so be aware of that and then be intentional about addressing your feelings. 

The first thing you can do is self-talk. When you have negative thoughts that come into your head – telling you that you are not enough, you are not competent, or not successful – you can acknowledge that you feel that way, but remind yourself that you ARE enough, you ARE competent, you ARE successful. If you can’t do this just in your head, perhaps process these feelings with a friend or use a journal to write down your fears around feeling like a fraud. We must find a way to break the cycle of ruminating and turn our thoughts towards the positive. 

Along with this, you can make a 2-column list with ways you are inadequate and ways you are competent. Sometimes writing it out you may realize you are far more competent than you think, and this can help bring perspective.

You might say, but what if my inadequacy list IS longer than my competent list? Then I would encourage you to reframe your inadequacies. Often acknowledging our inadequacies is the beginning of growth. Look at your struggles as a way to learn and become stronger! Being realistic with yourself, evaluating areas of life you do need to work on, and coming up with strategies to make changes may give you some peace of mind.

Talking to someone who knows you well about your feelings can be really beneficial. Getting feedback from a trusted friend or family member can help you to have a better perspective. We are often much harder on ourselves than others are on us. Trusted friends or family members know you well enough to give honest feedback, but also see you in a different light than you see yourself.

Lastly, be gracious with yourself. We often forget that we are aware of both the internal and external portrayals of ourselves and therefore can be hard on ourselves. Remind yourself that you are only human. You cannot be perfect and you will make mistakes. But that’s all a part of the growth and learning process!

I wanted to share a personal anecdote with you about feeling this imposter syndrome. We all second guess ourselves. Recently I added some new pieces to my bedroom – a new throw blanket and pillow. That day I was thinking about how much I talk on my YouTube channel and here on my blog about minimalism and intentional spending. I also do a fair amount of decluttering on my channel as I continue to pursue minimalism. Sometimes when I bring new items into my home and share it on my channel I feel a bit like a fraud. Like why am I buying more things when I am trying to create a space that is minimal?

First of all, whenever you’re on a journey of any kind, it is just that – a journey! By the definition, it is an ongoing process and not a point where you arrive. So, pursuing minimalism is a journey for me. I may make mistakes along the way – I may make poor decisions, but ultimately I am trying to be intentional with what comes into my home. Most of the time with items like these two items – it is not an impulse purchase. I think about it several days before I decide to purchase the items. Also, these items are practical. Like I mentioned, we needed cooler blankets for the warmer months, and the pillow was just a cover to add to my existing pillow, just a design that I think works better for warmer weather.

 In addition to this, one thing that I am always trying to balance in my home is making my spaces warm, cozy, and inviting, without having too much clutter. I love decorating our spaces to make our home a place that my family and friends feel comfortable and enjoy being in. Ever since I did my no spend year back in 2019 I am definitely more intentional about what I purchase. I used to just peruse the aisles of Target or Home Goods, do online shopping, or be influenced by what others had and were sharing on social media. Now I am far less tempted to do this and find it an even more creative process to curate the items that come into my spaces or wardrobe.

Does this mean I will always be perfect in my shopping choices? NO! Even if I’m intentional about what I purchase, you never know how much you will love something or how well it will serve you. You make the best decisions with the knowledge you have!

Keeping your focus on your values instead of perfection will help tremendously in feeling confident in who you are. Success is not a point in time, it is a continual process, so there will be ups and downs.

I hope this chat was helpful or resonated with some of you. As always, I love to hear your thoughts in the comments! If you feel comfortable, let me know if you have felt like a fraud before and what was your experience!

The YouTube video I shared in conjunction with this blog post.